On recognising and supporting male victims of domestic violence

TimWatts1

Whilst Tim’s heart is probably in the right place, a combination of immaturity, male self-loathing, and a compulsion to play the role of ‘white knight‘, has blinded him to reality. And that reality is that many women are abusive, that many men are victims of abuse, and that acknowledging this in no way diminishes ones ability to recognise and empathise the suffering experienced by female victims.

So, OK, how many men are we talking about here? The answer depends on a number of variables, particularly the issue of how domestic violence is defined. As a consequence the ratio of male to female victims has been found to range all the way from one in four up to three in four. Even if one only accepted the lower end of that range, that still amounts to a considerable number of male victims – and certainly far too many to simply disregard as a statistical aberration.

Detailed data and analysis in relation to domestic violence can be found in this other blog post, but I’ll provide a few snippets of information below.

One Australian survey found for example that “the rate of men reporting current partner violence almost doubled (a rise of 175%) since 2005 (an estimated 119,600 men reported such violence in 2012)” (Source)

A survey in the U.S.A reported that “We analyzed data on young US adults aged 18 to 28 years from the 2001 National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which contained information about partner violence and injury reported by 11,370 respondents on 18,761 heterosexual relationships. Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.”

A survey in the U.K found that:

hardlyany

 

 

 

 

canada

(And, for comparision purposes, click here to see the Canadian results for victimisation from violence generally)

**Male victims of domestic violence who are seeking assistance, and who live in Australia, should read this information**

Personal accounts of, and by, abused men

There’s a lot of men suffering the same Abraham, men are less likely to report it though. Its a two way street. I found it degrading after having my bipolar partner restrained by police to be put in an ambulance, that the literature given to me and having called the help line, that it was all geared towards women. Even the men’s help line, when called and told of being involved in domestic abuse, being questioned about what I’d done to abuse her.

You know when she’s off tap and I’m being pushed to the limits, I could just knock her block off, I can handle myself, if it was a bloke doing it, it wouldn’t even be an issue, but its a woman and mother of my children, I’m better than that. My kids have had to witness it for years, they even ask how i endure it without retaliating. But its my job to be their role model, not sport stars or entertainers. I stay composed, controlled. I was safer in Afghanistan or Iraq. It’s time for men to stand up and be more vocal. I’ll start it off.”

“Its not the violence although she has slashed my car tyres to stop me from leaving and has threatened me with a knife on many occasions. It’s the threats to kill herself, or ringing my work, or on many occasions showing up at work because I won’t do exactly what she asks. Several suicide attempts, what am i to tell my kids if I stay at work and she rings and tells me she’s taken an overdose and i keep working. The ambulance wont come on their own anymore when she loses it, the police have to come, because she is violent to the ambulance driver. I’d post videos, but I don’t want her identified on the internet. My kids have been embarrassed enough, they don’t need all their friends knowing.

I said I would start this off, all my friends on here know now, but no-ones going to use it to try get to me, most are smart enough to know better. Like I said if it was a male that was threatening me it wouldn’t be an issue, I did my time in conflict zones, I can handle myself. My pay goes into an account she controls, I get an allowance. I got my pay put into my own account awhile back and she went to our head office and made a scene, nearly got me sacked. So I changed it back to stop her going back. My boss has said to me how I manage to be early every day, get through my day and churn out a high standard work is beyond him. Never late, never take a day off, always try to be upbeat. I do what i do because i am my kids role model, not some sports star or celebrity, I set a standard, I tell them not to react, stay calm and I practice what I preach. (Source)

“I have encountered similar violence by a wife towards her husband and I can promise you, it’s no laughing matter. Especially when men are often brought up to never lift a hand up against a woman. Thankfully, they are no longer together, but she still has most custody of their beautiful little boy. She has gone out of her way to use the son to hurt him, but thankfully family, friends and even a judge has seen through her and have provided him with much needed support. He is a lovely dad who was snared by a vicious, vindictive woman” (Source)

Glee star Naya Rivera charged with domestic violence against her husband (26 November 2017)

Sydney man stabbed in domestic incident (14 November 2017) Australia

Abused husband, 45, who suffered 12 years of beatings at hands of his hard-drinking teacher wife set up a spy camera to film her campaign of violence (8 September 2017) UK

Actor and domestic violence survivor Bryan Wiseman accuses police of homophobia (19 August 2017)

Abused husband reveals ‘drunk’ wife’s bloody car key attack (4 August 2017)

Domestic violence perpetrated by Australian women in the first half of 2017 (2 July 2017)

Actress Stephanie Davis arrested for ‘giving boyfriend Jeremy McConnell two black eyes’ in drunken row (4 July 2017) Reddit discussion thread and linked article

Fiancee stabbed me 28 times and left me hour away from death just weeks after asking me to marry her (27 May 2017) UK

Woman on the run two years after poisoning husband’s cereal to avoid having sex with him (6 March 2017) USA

SAPD: Officer issued bogus ticket to victim of assault to ‘f— him over,’ made racist joke (28 February 2017)

‘My intestines were out… and she was grabbing hold of them’: Man tells court how his ex-wife ‘tried to disembowel him with a carving knife’ (8 February 2017)

This is my story, as a male survivor of domestic violence (3 February 2017) Reddit discussion thread

Uptown woman arrested after kicking boyfriend’s face in front of police (17 January 2017)

Woman jailed for stabbing boyfriend because he ate all their chips (8 January 2017) UK

Woman spared jail for domestic abuse that left boyfriend in fear (20 December 2016) UK

Dad Abused By Wife Breaks Silence To Call James (9 December 2016) UK

First picture of designer boyfriend of arrested ‘Catwoman’ Jocelyn Wildenstein after she ‘slashed him with scissors’ and ‘poured hot wax on his face’ during late night brawl (8 December 2016)

The forgotten male victims of domestic violence (28 November 2016) China

Woman jailed for kicking her partner down the stairs (20 November 2016) UK

FIU’s Jonnu Smith out for season after suffering multiple burns (11 November 2016) USA, and here is one person’s comment re: that incident

A kiss for the wife who stabbed him 13 times (3 November 2016) UK

Businessman, 54, was branded with an iron and had pushed burning cigarettes up his nostrils every time he refused to have sex with his violent girlfriend (1 November 2016)

TV cop star arrested in domestic dispute (31 October 2016)

My wife emotionally abuses me … need advice (27 September 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Ex-husband of Labour’s domestic abuse Minister ‘still has nightmares about her’ after attack during divorce (25 September 2016) UK

West Virginian, 39, Put Out Cigarette In Her Boyfriend’s Eye, Police Charge (14 September 2016) USA

Furious bride-to-be, 24, bit her fiance’s ear and slashed his face with a broken glass (10 September 2016)

Women thought she was setting her ex-partners car on fire (7 September 2016) Video

Chalet holiday ended with drunken woman stabbing her boyfriend (4 September 2016)

ABC Life Matters story on male victims of domestic violence  (10 August 2016) Australia

Women on men domestic violence – Personal stories (24 July 2016) Video about a Chinese/American family

Woman charged after alleged reckless wounding (18 July 2016) Australia

Man writes about his controlling wife. Advice columnist rightly points out that if sexes were reversed, it would be labeled abuse (30 May 2016)

Wife Battered Husband Over Candy, Flowers (11 May 2016) USA

Domestic violence: Men are victims, too (25 April 2016) USA

Why are so many middle class wives beating up their husbands? FEMAIL explores why women are lashing out at their partners – and the horrifying consequences (24 March 2016) UK

Wife rips off her Romanian husband’s testicles with her bare hands (10 March 2016) Features this readers comment:

“Predictably the top comment is from a woman ridiculing the incident. He doesn’t sound a particularly great husband but would you have found it as amusing if a man had ripped off his wife’s breast because she wasn’t a good wife? Nope, didn’t think so. The comments here just show the gulf in society’s attitudes towards violence to men and women from the opposite sex.”

Sharon Edwards: Violent wife murdered lawyer husband (8 March 2016) UK

“The number of women convicted for domestic violence rose by 30% in the year to April 2015, from 3,735 to 4,866. It marks an upward trend – the number of convictions involving female perpetrators is now six times higher than it was ten years ago”

‘This is actually abuse’: My Kitchen Rules viewers slam Dee for ‘bullying’ husband Tim and tell him to divorce his domineering wife as #SaveTim trends online (1 March 2016) Australia. I have noticed a general pattern with these ‘reality’ style TV shows of women quite often being abusive towards male companions or male contestants in a way that would cause public outrage if the genders were reversed.

The dangers for men in domestic violence, by Jasmin Newman (8 February 2016) Australia

Police: Woman beat man with belt for not getting out of bed (4 February 2016) USA

Cops: Iowan, 33, Battered Husband When He Declined Her Request To Have Sex (25 January 2016) USA

Cops: Woman Attacks Fiancé Over Recycled Ring (13 January 2016) USA

Man’s girlfriend first ‘keys’ his car, breaks a window, and then tries to drive into him (9 January 2016) Video. USA

Statistics and stigma: The silence around men and domestic violence (24 November 2015) Australia

A Logan woman said she was not diminishing the problem of domestic violence against women, but wanted people to know that men also suffered abuse (24 October 2015)

False accusations preventing men from reporting domestic abuse – study finds (28 September 2015) UK

“The number of women convicted of perpetrating domestic abuse has more than quadrupled in the past ten years from 806 in 2004/05, to 3,735 in 2013/14”

‘Domestic violence against men is no laughing matter’: Lottery winner calls for protection of victims as he speaks out after being attacked by his former girlfriend (5 October 2015) UK

Men and their children, forgotten DV victims (21 September 2015) Australia with related reddit discussion thread here.

A Critique of Feminism: A Humanitarian Won’t be Silenced about Sexual and Domestic Violence (24 August 2015)

Submission #424 to the Victorian Royal Commission into Family Violence (28 May 2015)

Submission #757 to the Victorian Royal Commission into Family Violence

John Humphrys challenges Alison Saunders over ‘Violence Against Women & Girls (Crime Report)’ (25 June 2015)

We need to help individual victims of domestic abuse, whatever their gender (22 June 2015)

‘I had always been scared of my mum’: Breaking the cycle of violence (19 June 2015) Australia

Personal accounts by abused men (June 2015) Australia

Fine for throwing mug, butter knife at boyfriend (29 April 2015)

SA court told wife stabbed her husband, in front of sleeping son, after sexually complex relationship (28 April 2015)

Auburn woman who tortured family for years gets life in prison (20 April 2015)

Home violence not just at the hands of men (28 March 2015)

Jealous ex of footballer Erik Walden leaves their two children alone in car and breaks into his home threatening him and girlfriend with loaded gun before attacking them with bat and knife (21 March 2015)

Scalded husband: ‘No shame’ for male domestic abuse victims (13 March 2015) also covered in this Huffington Post UK article

We need to speak out for all victims of family violence, by Roger Smith (2 March 2015)

‘I’m a big, strapping bloke. Who would believe I was a victim of domestic abuse?’ (26 February 2015)

Woman mauled boyfriend with kitchen roll holder after penis prank backfired (19 February 2015)

Male victims of domestic violence (17 February 2015) Video

Columbia University professor who teaches peacekeeping skills to cops, firefighters is charged with assaulting boyfriend (17 February 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread

GF has started getting violent on me. I left her today after she beat me. People’s reactions have been insane (8 February 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread)

The day my wife beat me up because she hated my haircut (26 January 2012)

Reddit mens rights discussion thread created by a male victim of domestic violence (16 December 2014)

Male domestic abuse victim: I could have died after attack (5 December 2014)

http://www.shrink4men.com/2014/10/05/in-his-own-words-scenes-from-an-abusive-marriage/

Man stabbed 13 times by girlfriend says she had history of attacking him (1 August 2014) USA

25 men subject to domestic abuse tell their stories (28 May 2014)

Enraged: Victoria Police’s response to violence towards men (February 2014)

The personal stories of two Victorian men

Good Op-Ed from a Norwegian newspaper about domestic abuse (1 September 2014)

Domestic violence: Male victim tell of wife’s abuse (15 June 2014)

Irish TV feature on male victims of domestic violence (June 2014)

My wife hugged me to say sorry for beating me up… then knifed me in the back (13 January 2011)

https://mencanbeabusedtoo.wordpress.com/ (also includes some comments about Elizabeth Broderick, former Australian Sex Discrimination Commissioner)

http://www.theshedonline.org.au/discussions/lifestyle-family-and-relationships/abusive-wife

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2bxo3w/domestic_violence_and_scottish_law/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Jackson man stabbed during child custody dispute (missing words = domestic violence) (21 August 2014)
http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ir6aa/excellent_post_about_women_harmlessly_hitting_men/

In a comment he contributed to this article, Chad Tindale wrote:

“Police were once called because my girlfriend, at the time, was stabbing the bathroom door (behind which I was locked) with a knife. When the police arrived, she was still drunk, and still holding the knife. They told us to keep it down so that they didn’t have to come back… then they left me there… with her… with the knife. You’re not a hero when you rescue a man from a woman, so it’s often just easier to leave them there… leave them with her… with the knife.”

Men Aren’t Victims (Because Women Say So) (29 December 2014) and related Reddit mensrights discussion thread

On the level of support provided for male victims of domestic violence

“On the societal level, women’s violence against men has a trivial effect on men compared to the devastating effect of men’s violence against women” (Source).

“Shelley Serdahely, executive director of Men Stopping Violence, in Decatur, Ga., questions the validity of studies showing women are more violent. “Women might be more likely to get frustrated because men are not taught how to be active listeners and women feel like they are not being heard,” she said. “Often women are more emotional because the relationship matters a lot to them, and while that may come out in a push or a shove or a grab, all of which are considered dating violence, it doesn’t have the effect of intimidating the man.”” (Source)

This is the mistaken belief of many within the pro-feminist domestic violence sector whose philosophical approach is proscribed by the so-called Duluth Model. An attitude that underpins the chronic under-resourcing of services for male victims of DV.

“There are thousands of shelters in the U.S. for women and even thousands for our pets, but not a single independent shelter just for men (and no federal funding). The Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware Country, PA (where I grew up) was the first to campaign to assist victims of both genders but that only meant they were one of the first to allow mothers with teenage boys to find assistance as most still see 12-18 year old teenage boys as members of the “almost clinically and psychologically dead” (as per Dr. Helen Caldicott) “foreign male element.” Many states claim to help men somehow but not a one can provide any data on the number served.

England built their first men’s shelter in 2003 after 423 shelters (now 7,500) had been built for women (forced to open in secret due to fear of violent protests). All public funding for men’s shelters in England (like most countries), however, have since been pulled as men are now told to go to women’s shelters (a 2008 House of Commons report claimed there was no need or desire for male-only shelters with the issue only being distorted by a deep-seated contempt for women). Battered men around the world are routinely told to go to homeless shelters (what, no possibility of ingrained contempt for men?).

A few countries like Holland, Serbia, and Switzerland have set aside funds for battered men shelters but they are scarce and underfunded compared to homes for battered women. Most men are still waiting for their country’s first governmentally supported refuge. We must identify the violence done by women against men, see it as a serious social problem, and face the reality domestic violence is more likely mutual or female-initiated and so our public service announcements and federal service funding urgently need to be de-gendered.

The 1975 National Family Violence Survey (Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family, Straus et al.) found men and women equally abusive. The myth of subjugated women (Gelles, 1988; Kaufman, 1990; Straus, 1991) has but “crippled prevention and treatment efforts” (Scott, 2006). In 2008, Drs. Douglas and Hines conducted the first-ever national survey of men who sought help for heterosexual partner violence. It regrettably showed a large proportion of men who seek help from American domestic violence agencies (49.9%) or hotlines (63.9%) are specifically told, “We only help women.”

Many men seeking assistance from DV agencies (40.2%) or DV hotlines (32.2%) end up accused of being the batterer, a third of male victims who call the police end up arrested, and less than a third of those who consult with any mental health professionals are offered details on how to get help from a DV program. The investigation concluded the worst places for men to get help were “those that are the core of the DV service system: DV agencies, DV hotlines, and the police. The qualitative accounts in our research tell a story of male help seekers who are often doubted, ridiculed, and given false information.”

 “I vividly remember accidentally walking into a “safe room” for victims of domestic violence at the court house and being pounced on by a bunch of quite militant women and told in no uncertain terms to get out of the room, for no other reason than I was male and they assumed I was the guilty party. It didn’t even occur to them that I , a male, was the VICTIM of domestic violence. The irony is that my extremely violent wife would have been welcomed with open arms in the same situation and been showered with empathy by them.” (Source: Readers comment)

“I’m not suggesting that violence against men doesn’t happen, of course it does, but it is actually really rare.” Karen Willis, Executive Officer for Rape and Domestic Violence Services in Australia (Source)

Domestic Violence programs discriminate against male victims, by SAVE (undated)

Marginalizing the Battered Male‘, by Todd A. Migliaccio, University of California (undated)

Relationships Australia (WA) tells their only male consellor to resign or be sacked after he mildly criticizes their feminist bias (May 2018)

Feminist-run domestic violence helplines guilty of anti-male sex discrimination for assuming male victims were perpetrators (27 November 2017)

Female victims of violent crime ‘should receive more compensation’ (10 August 2017)

Greedy feminists clutching DV funding are ruining men’s lives (19 June 2017)

Feminists against men’s domestic violence shelters (24 May 2017) Video

John Robson: Why are there almost no shelters for male victims? And why is asking that question so controversial? (23 May 2017)

Book review: ‘The Silent Man’ (2 May 2017)

Male victims of domestic violence are being failed by the system (13 March 2017) UK

Do Gay and Lesbian Victims of Domestic Abuse Get Less Attention from Cops? (8 March 2017)

“According to study author Brenda Russell, a psychology professor at Pennsylvania State University, the officers surveyed rated male perpetrators of IPV as more “dangerous” to others than any other gender or sexual orientation.

In contrast, male victims of female perpetrators were considered “responsible” in some way for the abuse they suffered.  Victims of lesbian and gay male violence were also considered more culpable and more likely to demonstrate thoughts and  behaviors indicative of mental illness.”

A submission by the One in Three organisation to the Victorian Victims Support Agency (2 March 2017) Well-worth a read!

Why some Survivors are more equal than others. And the case for inclusion & integration (15 February 2017)

The Duluth model is working as designed; you won’t smart mouth her again (3 February 2017)

Male victims of sexual violence are being ignored by the government, by Ally Fogg (21 December 2016) UK

One man’s grassroots insight into the Duluth Model domestic violence perpetrator programme (15 December 2016)

Women won’t be equal until they’re punished for beating up men (13 December 2016) UK

From the Home Office to the Independent: crying out for gender-inclusive policy, by Ally Fogg (9 December 2016) UK

The fox now guards the hen house ~ Bettina Arndt (17 November 2016) Concerns a negative aspect of the NSW Government’s recent allocation to support male victims of domestic violence.

Denied and dismissed (18 November 2016) Canada

Until we treat male and female domestic abuse victims the same, we’ll never be rid of it (8 November 2016)

Male family violence victims on safer pathway (7 November 2016) A positive development from the NSW Government in Australia

Feminist group, the ‘Women’s Liberation Front’, lobbies against allowing trans-women into DV shelters … men obviously out of the question! (1 October 2016) Australia. Reddit discussion thread and linked article

Domestic Violence Is Far More Than A Simple Story Of Good And Bad (27 September 2016) It’s very disappointing that we are still seeing the publication of biased and one-sided articles such as this, which undermine any nascent recognition of, and support for, victims of female abusers.

BBC & Notts Police Chief publicise non-existent “hate crimes” against women whilst ignoring fatal domestic violence against men (22 September 2016) UK

Spanish web site takes down a documentary about male victims of domestic violence following complaints from people who claimed it was sexist (2016)

Building stronger and safer communities for everyone (9 September 2016) Australia. But then in first paragraph I note the funds are to be used to “help reduce violence against women and their children”, so presumably men are included in the “everyone“.

The shame of being a male victim of domestic violence (3 September 2016) Australia

Domestic violence against men (August 2016) A video by female MRA ‘shoeonhead’

The Denial of Female Domestic Violence (Dr Augusto Zimmermann, Quadrant, July-August 2016)

According to figures quoted in this video featuring journalist Martin Daubney, only 10% of male victims of domestic violence in Britain report incidents to the police (versus 26% of women)

Vital research into male domestic violence under threat – because victims won’t come forward (15 June 2016) UK “Currently only 10% of male victims will tell the police, only 23% will tell a person in an official position, and only 11% will tell a health professional”

The Other Side of the Coin: Breaking the Stigma of Male Domestic Violence Victims (20 May 2016) Canada

Bob McCoskrie: Family violence is still not just a male problem (13 May 2016) New Zealand. Reddit discussion thread here

Action Opportunity: Reject Overt and Illegal Discrimination Against Domestic Violence Victims Based on Sex and Sexual Orientation in British Columbia, Canada

The Hen-pecked husband (30 April 2016) Spain

Submission by Bethlehem House (#43) to the 2016 federal Senate Inquiry into Domestic Violence and Gender Inequality (4 April 2016) Australia

Why female violence against men is society’s last great taboo, by Martin Daubney (15 March 2016) UK

Male domestic violence victims can’t get help even when their lives are at risk, says brother of lawyer killed by his wife (13 March 2016) UK

‘I was covered in blood from her punches’: Male victims of domestic abuse speak out (28 February 2016) Scotland

Male victims still overlooked (28 February 2016) Australia

Reddit AskMen discussion thread seeking men’s personal experiences of DV helplines (26 February 2016)

Male victims of domestic violence: A hidden battle (18 February 2016)

What percentage of male victims of domestic violence are arrested for Domestic Violence after calling the police? (16 February 2016) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

The blind spot in our domestic violence crisis (10 February 2016) This article written by a CEO of a Women’s Shelter – no prizes for guessing her sole focus. I’ve included it here though for the readers comments.

Details concerning an Australian campaign to lobby for changes to the current discriminatory manner in which male victims of domestic violence are dealt with (January 2016)

Baird’s Police website doesn’t provide a single support resource for male victims of domestic abuse – she’s Twitter blocking such organisations instead (7 January 2016)

How feminists and a Police Commissioner’s Office conspired against male victims of domestic violence on Twitter (5 January 2016) UK

Northumbria Police domestic abuse posters ‘should be torn down’ (31 December 2015) UK

The Empathy Gap in Domestic Violence, by Krista Milburn (2 December 2015)

How can we stand by and do nothing for male victims of domestic violence? (26 October 2015)

Mythology Is Killing The Solutions To Domestic Violence, by Jasmin Newman (October 2015) Australia

A Plea to Women (28 November 2015)

Why will no one fund male domestic abuse charities? (26 November 2015)

Story of domestic violence against men is hidden, complicated and disputed (24 November 2015) Australia

Silent Victims, by Bettina Arndt (14 November 2015) Australia

‘Domestic violence debate dominated by women’s perspectives’ (11 November 2015) NZ

Men exposed to domestic violence more worried about not being believed (6 November 2015)

Ireland does not have official statistics on male domestic violence (1 November 2015)

Why I’m backing QLD Labor Premier on male victims | Talk About Men (25 October 2015)

Domestic abuse charity for male victims could close (23 October 2015) UK

Annastacia Palaszczuk warned: don’t put domestic violence against men above women (19 October 2015) Australia

It’s Time to Acknowledge Male Victims of Domestic Violence (16 October 2015) USA

Why we don’t hear about male victims of domestic violence (13 September 2015) Whilst any coverage of male DV victims is a positive, this article is typical in the manner in which it downplays/minimises every aspect of male victimisation.

Handcuffed man, 48, dies in lobby of Texas jail after officer ‘put knee to his throat’ when he ran in saying his wife was trying to kill him (2 August 2015)

Pets of family violence victims to be offered protection in Victoria (5 July 2015) No men’s DV shelters but support for pets, hmm.

Astute Dr Elizabeth Celi UNRAVELS Truth about Men in todays Feminist world (11 June 2015) Video. Australia

Willow Domestic Violence Center: Beginning the path to healthy change (12 June 2015)

Time for fresh thinking on domestic violence (4 June 2015)

Two sides of the same coin: Domestic violence affects everyone (31 May 2015) Canada

Australian feminist journo, Sarah Farnsworth, agrees we should provide DV shelter accommodation for men too … “violent men” … so the police can track them down more easily! No mention that males can be victims (29 May 2015)

New voices: The ‘minority’ man? (May 2015) Journal of the British Psychological Society – Recommended reading

“Forty years of feminist campaigning and the influence of gender stereotypes have had a major impact on how society views IPV.” “Gender biases are highly influential in affecting people’s perceptions of the severity of IPV.”

Helpline for male victims of domestic violence in India receives more calls for help in its first year of operation than the government’s own helpline (which only caters for female DV victims) May 2015

Man Begins Hunger Strike at Queen’s Park Until Gov Promises to Open Shelter for Abused Men (11 May 2015) Canada

How ‘One in Three’ (an Australian advocacy group for male victims of DV) was uninvited from the Strathfield Council Domestic and Family Violence Forum, 13 May 2015

This April 2015 article by Attila Vinczer provides some interesting historical perspective on how society views/ignores male victims of domestic violence.

The ABC allows feminists to use Q&A as a bully pulpit (2 March 2015)

Here in Australia, to get an idea of the level of resistance to acknowledging male victims of DV, one only has to observe the response from feminists on the few occasions when some agency or individual (e.g. Tanveer Ahmed) publicly discusses male victims. The most recent example was when the NSW Police service featured male DV victims in a campaign in early 2015:

NSW police have started a controversial discussion about domestic violence on their Facebook page (20 January 2015)

NSW Police fail victims of domestic violence with flippant social media post (20 January 2015) Australian feminist journalist attacks NSW Police for recognising male victims of domestic violence. Somebody fetch me a sick bucket

Police facebook post stirs debate on controversial issue (19 January 2015)

When it comes to Domestic Violence, she says she wants equality – however evidence to suggests otherwise (6 February 2015)

Two posts from the Facebook page of ‘Exposing Feminism’ concerning accommodation provided by ‘DVConnect’ for male & female DV victims in Brisbane – here and here (8 July 2014)

Abused boys and men: feminism’s acceptable losses (4 July 2013)

Malestrom pt 2: When anger is justified, by Ally Fogg (23 June 2013) Be sure to study the many thoughtful readers comments here

Male Victims of Domestic Violence (4 March 2011) USA

My wife hugged me to say sorry for beating me up… then knifed me in the back (13 January 2011) UK

Mom’s Abuse Makes Man Afraid Of Women (2 November 2010)

If you are really against Domestic Violence (13 May 2010) USA

duty_lawyer

General references pertaining to male victims of domestic violence:

Brutal post details the harmful ways in which teenage girls abuse boyfriends (6 June 2017) UK

Charity reveals 128,767 men told police they were a domestic abuse victim during 2015 (17 December 2016) UK

More than 650,000 men said they suffered domestic abuse over the last year as gap between number of male and female victims falls to record low (8 December 2016) UK. See related Reddit discussion thread here.

Domestic abuse myth busting #2: So few heterosexual male victims report abuse because of shame (26 September 2016)

Domestic violence against men soars to record levels as number of cases treble in past decade (17 September 2016) UK

Men are also victims of domestic abuse, by Corrine Barraclough (31 August 2016)

Domestic violence not just a female problem: Documents reveal more than 10,000 males across NSW affected (12 August 2016) Finally some support for male victims (NSW, Australia)

AIFS “Experiences of Separated Parents Study” reveals high levels of domestic violence against men (29 June 2016) Australia

Men also suffer from domestic abuse (23 June 2016) Canada

Rise in men taking out domestic violence orders against mothers and partners at Southport Court (18 May 2016) Australia

How male victims of domestic abuse often end up getting arrested themselves (16 January 2016)

Domestic Violence Is Gender Blind, Unlike the Activists (30 November 2015) South America

Victims and Witnesses of Crime Court Support’ is an Australian organisation that supports male victims of violence (incl. domestic violence) in the court system

What happens when you fall in love with someone who’s aggressive? (18 November 2015)

“Across almost every study, gender came out as a significant factor: the male participants were more tolerant and more willing to stay in relationships that involved aggressions. This was unexpected, but may reflect a reluctance within men to define their partners as aggressors and themselves in some sense as victims, as seen in low reporting rates of domestic violence against men.”

The Number of Male Domestic Abuse Victims Is Shockingly High — So Why Don’t We Hear About Them? (26 October 2015) Almost 800 readers comments

Male Domestic Abuse Victims | World Have Your Say (BBC World Service) (8 October 2015)

What I’ve learnt from speaking to male victims of domestic abuse every day (25 March 2015)

YWCA says more men report being victims of domestic violence (24 March 2015) and related redit mensrights discussion thread

An open letter to Rosie Batty, by Mark Dent (15 March 2015)

Time, Human Rights Watch ignore male victims of violence, report that female victims are ignored (13 March 2015)

Only women get help for spousal violence, while men are ignored – Barbara Kay (11 March 2015)

timwatts_270415

Interview with Canadian Association for Equality about getting recognition for male DV victims (10 March 2015) Youtube video also discussed in this article (features a number of good readers comments)

How funding changes in NSW locked women out of domestic violence refuges (9 March 2015) Male victims of domestic violence don’t even register as a blip on the radar screen of the feminists orchestrating the DV ‘debate’.

Men’s issues group unveils billboard in reaction to Ontario’s ‘sexist’ campaign against domestic violence (9 March 2015)

Domestic violence against men ignored (2 March 2015) Canada

The Myth Women Are The Only Victims Of Domestic Violence (3 February 2015)

Ray J Allegedly Beaten By His Girlfriend – Are Men Finally Legit Victims of Domestic Violence? (17 February 2015)

Stop violence against who? by John The Other (6 November 2011) Youtube video

Men’s ignored suffering from serious domestic violence injuries (undated)

Why is there such resistance to recognising male victims of domestic violence? (12  November 2014)

Why I’m fighting a charity that support female domestic violence victims (14 November 2014)

October 2014 reddit/r/todayilearned discussion thread on the lack of recognition and support given to male victims of domestic violence

I’m going to stab you’: Calls for more support for male domestic violence victims (22 October 2014)

Central Victorian man calls for more support for male victims of DV

Hospital’s undercover legal service latest check on violence against women (28 September 2014) But no similar service for men … why not? I mean other than stereotypes about men not needing help, etc.

Blog post on the lack of recognition of male victims of DV (18 October 2014)

Can male victims of domestic violence get the help they need? Conference presentation by Denise Hines, Clarke University, USA

The only DV services for men in Berlin are for perpetrators (23 September 2014) DV agency brochure plus linked reddit/mensrights discussion thread

Men are victims of domestic violence too by Bill O’Chee (3 September 2014)

Domestic violence against men hits record high (4 November 2013) Ireland

Abused boys and men: feminism’s acceptable losses, by Hannah Wallen (4 July 2013)

The Help-seeking Experiences of Men Who Sustain Intimate Partner Violence: An Overlooked Population and Implications for Practice (2011)

600 shelters for abused women in Canada but zero for men. Only 8% have ever admitted a man – usually elderly and/or disabled

Domestic violence refuge provision at crisis point, warn charities (4 August 2014) A good response to this article was then penned by Ally Fogg entitled ‘Throwing domestic violence victims to the wolves‘ – well worth reading. Despite there being very few beds available for men, when cutbacks are made (or accountability enforced) then men are blamed. The same thing is happening now in Australia. Women demand empathy from men (regarding DV) but when men seek support they are shamed.

The situation for women’s refuges is desperate – but we need to start admitting men, too (6 August 2014)

In Australia millions of dollars more to be poured into protecting “women and their children”, but no mention whatsoever of female perpetrators or male victims (July 2014) And a subsequent lobbying campaign by Mens Rights Sydney

Male Domestic Violence victims need more support, by Mark White (30 December 2013)

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/why-no-refuges-male-victims-domestic-violence-075147102.html#hshyx6n (6 July 2014)

Are women nagging husbands to death? Research shows henpecked men twice as likely to die young (9 May 2014)

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/how-would-you-react-hardhitting-film-suggests-male-victims-of-domestic-abuse-arent-taken-seriously-9434867.html

Ground-breaking study shows need for unbiased domestic violence services (15 March 2007)

Men Shouldn’t Be Overlooked as Victims of Partner Violence (3 August 2007)

Gender bias in domestic violence treatment (31 August 2005)

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/236g8o/canada_does_not_have_a_single_shelter_for_male/ and http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/23e3hf/so_ive_been_calling_feminist_groups_in_canada/

Inquiring Bryony House About DV Shelters in Nova Scotia (30 March 2014)

It’s time to challenge the myth of the male victim (24 March 2014)

Women’s Shelters and Domestic Violence Services Save the Lives of Men, by Katherine van Wormer (11 December 2010) This feminist author puts forward the argument that funding more women’s shelters is actually a bonus for men, because otherwise the women who couldn’t escape their homes would have to kill their partners

1994 TV debate between feminist and man running refuges for male victims of domestic violence (video)

donkeys

This blog contains many other posts that discuss the issue of domestic violence – for example:

On violence carried out by women and girls

Please click here to see a list of other relevant posts.

Posts addressing other related issues can be accessed by clicking on the relevant topic ‘tags’ at the base of this page. 

Domestic violence is not a gendered issue – Why the pervasive sexist bias against men?

Domestic violence (DV), also referred to as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) or Family & Domestic Violence (FDV), is a shocking blight on the community. This is a scourge that inflicts substantial negative impacts on the lives of countless men, women and children. Whilst definitions have evolved and broadened, DV is loosely defined as “physical, sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse“.

It is important to acknowledge that DV encompasses man on man, women on women, man on woman, and woman on man violence (both cis- and transgender). Further, in many instances violence is perpetrated by both partners as shown in the accompanying diagram. There is also a strong nexus between the incidence of child abuse/neglect and subsequent perpetration of domestic violence by affected individuals upon reaching adulthood.

IPV-Truthwgray

The Wikipedia entry for ‘Epidemiology of domestic violence‘ provides readers with useful background information on this topic. For those willing to read something a little meatier, I would recommend this paper by esteemed DV researcher Malcolm George. Malcolm walks the reader through the historical context to the current debate about gender differences in violent behaviour and the way that society responds to the issue.

Many of those working within the DV sector, particularly here in Australia, only choose to acknowledge one element of the problem – that part involving male perpetrators and female victims. It is no coincidence that most staff within these government agencies, universities and NGO’s are strongly influenced by, and biased towards, feminist ideology. The feminist position is unequivocal, and it is that domestic violence = men’s violence towards women. Here is an example of that mindset, and here are many others.

This routine failure by feminists to recognise and discuss male victims, female perpetrators and bi-directional violence is no accident or coincidence. It is a deliberate strategy to build their brand, and in so doing demonise the overwhelming majority of men who have never, and would never, hurt or abuse their partner.

As a result, and in order to support the feminist narrative, a great deal of ‘cherry-picking’ and misrepresentation occurs in relation to the statistics provided in DV literature. In addition, the design and implementation of survey instruments is too often tainted with bias. This issue, that of feminist efforts to hide or discredit legitimate research and/or generate false or misleading statistics, is explored in this further blog post.

You will note, as you scroll down this page, that there are a multitude of sources of DV statistics, particularly the United Kingdom and the United States. Here in Australia, much less research has been undertaken – particularly in relation to male victimisation. One of the more significant sources is the Australian Bureau of Statistics Personal Safety Survey 2012, which found that one in three victims of domestic abuse were male. The results of overseas studies generally found levels of male and female victimisation that were closer to parity, and in some instances even higher rates of victimisation for men that women.

Unfortunately many journalists display remarkable tunnel-vision when addressing the topic of IPV. Indeed some have suggested that the media is complicit in the same sort of systemic gender bias against males noted earlier amongst those working in the field of DV.

Turning to my first example, an article called ‘Til death do us part’ which appeared in The Australian newspaper. It consisted of five pages of heart-wrenching coverage of men’s violence towards female partners, but made no mention of any other form of domestic violence, i.e. m-m, f-f, or women on men. Similarly this February 2014 article from The Mail newspaper also neglected to mention that men can be victims too.

Fiona McCormack also ignores male victims and female abusers this item on Australian ABC TV … except in an aside where she implies that anyone who raises the issue of women abusers is only seeking to “excuse” the behaviour of male abusers. This is very much akin to the feminist predilection of labelling anyone who questions various aspects of sexual assault (e.g. false rape allegations) as being “rape apologists” “victim blamers” etc.

Now let’s turn to this article by Charlie Pickering (more about Charlie here). Charlie is concerned that more attention is paid to the issue of random one-punch attacks on men, than on the violence visited nightly on women people in their homes. He goes on to state:

“For a long time, the term domestic violence has softened and normalised what is really going on. A more accurate term is ‘men’s violence against women’. Not ‘violence against women’, because that takes the responsibility for it away from those who need to be made responsible.”

This belief, that by acknowledging male victims and female perpetrators, we are somehow ignoring the validity and the pain of female victims is absurd, yet unfortunately commonplace in public discourse. The fact that there may be somewhat fewer male victims does not, nor should not, make domestic violence a gendered issue.

A precious few writers, like this one, suggest a more practical and unbiased approach to the issue:

“When it comes to the statistics about domestic abuse, it doesn’t matter to me how many men to how many women experience domestic violence. Domestic violence is a power issue more than a gender issue. Intimate Partner Violence affects men and women, and I really do not care in what proportion …

Within anti-domestic violence advocacy, there seems to be a trend to pit female victims against male victims and vice-versa. I do not know who is behind it, nor do I know if there is a “who” to blame. I do know that blame has no place in this fight against domestic abuse, especially when victim blames victim for any reason …

In a perfect society, men and women are equally protected under the law not because more laws were made to protect one sex but because in each mind and heart of all people, women and men are respected equally, and the individual contributions or crimes are our only measures of judgment. However, this ideal is as far away from our current reality as the idea that no person would seek power over another.”

Many others within the wider community have, however, embraced a biased and incomplete representation of DV, liberally salted with misinformation, at face value. Who could blame them, given that so many sources are bellowing out the same relentless message about male perpetrators and female victims, whilst studiously ignoring other elements of the issue.

Here in Australia, let’s look at this page within the web site of the Department of Social Services entitled ‘Women’s safety’, and the linked 28 page literature review prepared by ‘Urbis’ consultants at a cost of $220,000. One would have assumed, especially given the enormous cost, that the review would have encompassed all forms of abuse and perpetration. But, unfortunately, it did not.

In fact the review states that “Male perpetrators of domestic violence or sexual assault against men and female perpetrators of either offence against men have not been considered in this literature review. It is acknowledged that in practice the great majority of programs will be targeted towards men who commit domestic violence or sexual assault against women.”

Yes, that makes perfect sense … there are no programs for female offenders so let’s pretend they don’t exist. Such circular logic is (almost) unbelievable. And no, there is no corresponding ‘Mens Safety’ page within the DSS web site.

To be fair, the authors of some studies do admit that there are many female perpetrators and male victims, and that little research has been directed towards these groups. They also admit that there are probably many similarities between male and female perpetrators of IPV. They then invariably proceed, however, to offer a variety of justifications to continue their focus on the ‘domestic violence = Mens violence towards women’ model (example).

When misleading statistics are repeatedly exposed the feminist reaction is to move the goalposts by expanding the reach of the definition of domestic violence to encompass sexual violence, and less tangible forms of non-physical ‘violence’. This serves to both maximise the perceived magnitude of the problem, as well as support the anti-male narrative.

Naturally those areas where female perpetration is substantial, such as child abuse and elder abuse, are totally ‘out of bounds’. This theme is explored in this separate blog post. The same approach has been taken by feminists to prop up the notion of the existence of a ‘rape culture‘ in western societies.

Those of us concerned about men’s rights seek to have all aspects of domestic violence considered, as well as seeking remedies to specific issues such as:

  • the lack of resources to assist abused men and their children
  • laws and legal procedures that are based on the assumption that the male in the relationship is the abuser
  • negative and biased behaviour towards men who seek assistance, for example the screening of (only) male callers to abuse help-lines to determine if they are in fact perpetrators (example)

A selection of statistical sources that haven’t been doctored to support the feminist narrative

Dunedin study gender violence truths (13 June 2016) Video

References examining assaults by women on their spouses or male partners: An Annotated Bibliography by Martin S. Fiebert. This bibliography examines 286 scholarly investigations: 221 empirical studies and 65 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. Here is a link to an updated June 2013 version of Fiebert’s bibliography.

Partner Abuse, Volume 1, No. 1, 2010 The first edition of a new journal created to showcase academic research into domestic violence without gender bias

Partner Abuse State of Knowledge Project – Facts and Statistics on Domestic Violence at-a-Glance. Sponsored by the Journal Partner Abuse, November, 2012. This study is also discussed in this article
Male Victims of Intimate Partner Violence in the United States: An Examination of the Review of Literature through the Critical Theoretical Perspective, by Caroletta A. Shuler (2010) and related reddit discussion thread

Extensive listing of mainly North American research findings related to domestic violence (29 April 2015)

Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile (27 January 2011) Almost equal numbers of male and female victims of DV

Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Men who Sustain Intimate Partner Violence: A Study of Help-seeking and Community Samples (2012)

Partner Violence as Female-specific in Aetiology

Intimate partner violence: Facts and statistics (1 September 2014) Included some discussion of ‘Patriarchal Dominance’ theory

Domestic violence rates are higher for homosexual couples than for heterosexual couples (18 November 2013)

Preliminary Examination of a Mutual Intimate Partner Violence Intervention Among Treatment-Mandated Couples (2013)

Male victims of domestic violence: A Substantive and Methodological Research Review by Michael S. Kimmel (2001)

Women who perpetrate intimate partner violence: A review of the literature with recommendations for treatment (January 2007)

Disabusing the definition of domestic violence: How women batter men and the role of the Feminist State by Linda Kelly 2003

Unprecedented domestic violence study affirms need to recognise male victims (21 May 2013)

One-third of domestic violence victims in active-duty families are men (27 August 2014)

Partner Violence Against Men in England & Wales and the Gender Bias of Public Bodies (2014)

Aggression in British Heterosexual Relationships: A Descriptive Analysis

The Truth About Domestic Violence – You’ll Never Believe… (a must-see video on Youtube)

Research into domestic violence-related deaths (USA/2010) More for men than women

Newer perspectives on domestic violence (April 2010)

http://freethoughtblogs.com/hetpat/2014/06/11/can-we-finally-nail-down-those-male-victim-statistics/ (United Kingdom)

See recent Swedish DV research here

Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence (2006)

“Almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) of those were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.”

A summary of credible research about domestic violence

This video features an incredibly fast rundown of published domestic violence research that runs contrary to the feminist position (15 June 2016)

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/28smbv/gender_symmetry_in_domestic_violence_and_why_it/

http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=gender+symmetry&btnG=&as_sdt=1%2C5&as_sdtp=

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/c3lvm/faq_studies_showing_high_frequency_of_women/

A 2009 source but which still contains some useful information and references

Some Australian statistics/background info

ABS Personal Safety survey results 2016

Senior public servants demonstrating their unswerving support for the feminist narrative regarding FDV (12 April 2017) Video

Western Australia: half of reported domestic violence harm caused by 2% of offenders (15 December 2016)

ABS violent crime statistics released July 2016

Behavioural change program for men at risk of committing domestic violence launched in ACT (14 June 2016) Violent/abusive women are completely left out of this program – an outrageous demonstration of gender bias (lodge a complaint here). More on crazy developments in the ACT at ‘Domestic violence levy: Canberra sets an absurd precedent‘ (18 June 2016)

Is a national approach needed to address domestic violence in Australia? (1 April 2016) Provides brief overview of what’s happening in each state

ABC Fact File: Domestic Violence in Australia (6 April 2016)

More than 125,000 women homeless because of domestic violence (15 February 2016). The only figures for male victimisation that were mentioned – because they appeared to support the feminist perspective – were drawn from this media release from a government agency. What’s not mentioned though is that the relatively low numbers of men seeking assistance are indicative of factors other than simply lower rates of male victimisation, incl.:

  • the rampant genderbias of ‘help-lines’, advocacy groups and even government agencies
  • the (widely-known) lack of resources available to help male victims (with or without children, and
  •  the much greater incidence of non-reporting of DV by men (compared to women)

FactCheck Q&A: is domestic violence in Australia on the decline? (3 February 2016) Also includes 75+ readers comments

Australian DV statistics fact-sheet produced by the organisation ‘One in Three’

Domestic Violence in Australia: Are women and men equally violent?

Domestic Violence, by Chris Lloyd (21 January 2015) Very thorough, especially in relation to Victorian DV statistics

Anglicare WA survey summary with further details available from Anglicare WA’s web site (2014)

2014 article that discusses teen dating abuse and found roughly equal number of male and female abusers.

Boys Victims of Dating Violence, Too (29 January 2016) USA

This paper by the Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse is also worth reading, although I disagree with aspects of it. It is entitled ‘The Gender Debate in Domestic Violence: The Role of Data‘ (May 2013)

An April 2014 discussion about domestic violence and its relationship to urban planning practice.

http://mensrightsmelbourne.com/2014/03/26/domestic-violence-by-women-over-the-past-eight-years-rocketed-by-159/

Intimate Partner Abuse of Men, by Tilbrook, E.,  Allan, A., and Dear, G. (2010)

Articles on IPV sourced from the ‘A Voice for Men’ web site (various authors)

The irrefutable proof is in: DV is not gendered (except when it is, which is most of the time) by David King (2 August 2016) Australia. Recommended reading

Steven Pinker: sex, violence, and failure of enlightenment (11 September 2015)

This article and related reddit discussion concern a move in Victoria, Australia, to alter the law in relation of using self-defence where death of a partner occurs (article) (discussion)

NCFM Vice President responds to criticism about MRA’s and the AVfM conference in Detroit (25 July 2014)

Recruiting domestic violence spies by Jim Muldoon (18 July 2014)

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/domestic-violence-industry/the-cycle-of-the-female-abuser/ (15 July 2014)

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/the-state-of-play-for-men-domestic-violence/

http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/feminist-lies-feminism/the-feminists-great-equality-lie/

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/domestic-violence-industry/australian-domestic-violence-hysteria/

http://www.avoiceformen.com/men/mens-health/callout-to-australian-british-and-canadian-men-for-help/

On male victims of domestic violence by M. R. Walks (17 February 2012)

http://www.avoiceformen.com/allnews/flawed-domestic-violence-survey-challenged-by-mens-health-advocates/

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/domestic-violence-industry/when-a-girl-hits-you/

http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com.au/2010/10/dv-debate-paul-elam-against-feminist.html

General articles on Intimate Partner Violence drawn from other sources

How Victoria’s family violence system fails some victims – by assuming they’re perpetrators (14 November 2017) I thought this paper was going to talk about men being misidentified as DV aggressors, but oh no, apparently it happens to women all the time <facepalm> and men exploit this to obtain intervention orders to protect themselves (& their children) from women who aren’t really hitting/abusing them.

Studies Show Lesbians Much More Likely to Beat, Sexually Abuse Their Wives Than Heterosexual Men (15 August 2017) This article contains several dead hyperlinks – the relevant references are as follows:

The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation (January 2013)
Victimization Over the Life Span: A Comparison of Lesbian, Gay,
Bisexual, and Heterosexual Siblings (2005)
When your rapist is a woman (30 March 2016)
Lena Dunham Didn’t Molest Her Sister, but Female-on-Female Sexual Abuse Is Real and Awful (4 November 2014)
Lesbian intimate partner violence: Prevalence and dynamics (2002)
Victimization and Perpetration Rates of Violence in Gay and Lesbian Relationships: Gender Issues Explored (1997)

Dear Feminists: Stop Denying The Connection Between Alcohol And Domestic Violence‘ by Corrine Barraclough (2 May 2017) Australia

Questions about violence against women are for all, not just migrants, by Wendy Tuohy (24 April 2017) Not even a hint that men are also victims of DV = substandard journalism for which there is no longer any excuse.

Why gender can’t be ignored when dealing with domestic violence (28 March 2017)

Domestic Violence: A Male Problem? (23 March 2017) UK

10 lies abusers tell themselves (and others). Calling out the common deceptions. (11 February 2017) Interesting article re: how abusers rationalise their actions

Flowers = Domestic Violence. Feminist hypocrisy at its peak (8 February 2017) Australia

The Duluth model is working as designed; you won’t smart mouth her again (3 February 2017)

On the psychology of domestic violence, by Ally Fogg (13 January 2017) UK

Shocking domestic abuse statistics don’t show the real picture: it’s even worse (14 December 2016) UK. This is one of several articles written by feminists in response to the recent release of stats showing the large (and increasing) number of male victims. Essentially they say ‘it doesn’t matter how many men are victims, women have it worse and we should focus entirely on them’.

Tory MP Faces Abuse From Feminist Colleagues After Opposing Sexist Bill (17 December 2016) UK

Stopping Fathers Committing Family Violence (13 December 2016) The Victorian Government (Australia) ignores female perpetrators of domestic violence – it’s something only dads do! Disgusting bias

More than one in three victims of domestic abuse are now men (10 December 2016) UK

San Antonio Judge Rules Men Not Capable of Being Victims of Domestic Violence (2016) USA

Sydney police officer breaches AVO (2 December 2016) A female officer, if that’s relevant

Should we scrutinise ALL reports of family violence? by Jasmin Newman (22 November 2016)

Domestic violence convention would make men ‘second class citizens’ (19 November 2016) Ireland

The fight against domestic violence needs to look beyond blaming men, by Stephanie Ross (6 November 2016) Australia

Governments accused of failing to fully recognise role of alcohol in family violence  (27 October 2016) Australia

Domestic violence: Perpetrators would receive warning texts and videos (21 October 2016) Australia

Black women’s lives matter too, by Nyunggai Warren Mundine AO (15 October 2016) Australia

Evidence for impact of Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes: College of Policing evidence commentary (undated) UK

“This ‘review of reviews’ concluded that no clear impact of DVPPs has been identified, and that effects on further victimisation have been small.”

To stop domestic violence, we need to change perpetrators’ behaviour (5 October 2016) This article in pro-feminist The Conversation completely ignores the reality of female abusers and the lack of counselling services for them.

It’s time to admit the truth about domestic violence, by David Leyonhjelm (27 September 2016) Australia

Force game-changer: Deputy Commissioner Wendy Steendam on a mission to end violence against women (23 September 2016) Australia

BBC & Notts Police Chief publicise non-existent “hate crimes” against women whilst ignoring fatal domestic violence against men (22 September 2016) UK

Why does the CPS report on violence against women include men in the stats? by Ally Fogg (7 September 2016)

Denying female domestic violence, by Augusto Zimmermann (28 August 2016)

Douglas Todd: B.C.’s domestic-violence programs based on ‘false’ theory (21 August 2016)

Always beating up on men, by Bettina Arndt (20 August 2016) Recommended reading

Gulags for New Zealand men (18 August 2016)

This is one of countless examples of how feminist DV advocacy groups seek to minimise both women’s role in perpetrating abusive behaviours, and its degree of impact on male victims.

Study findings on domestic violent present ‘challenging picture’  (16 June 2016) New Zealand

“The findings of an in-depth domestic violence study, which showed violent conduct almost evenly split between the genders, are potentially cause for concern, a senior police officer says.”

The gender of domestic violence (8 June 2016) NZ video concerning the difficulty experienced by researchers whose findings showed that women were equally likely to abuse.

Violent Parents – Calling for the End to Child Contact at Any Cost, by Jess Phillips MP (20 April 2016) UK. Article by well-known staunch feminist who implies all abusive parents are men, which as some readers point out is grossly misleading.

ABC’s Q&A program proves that ignorance is still rife about domestic violence, by Anne Summers (15 April 2016) Feminists get so angry when people dare to suggest that misogyny/gender inequality is not THE penultimate cause of domestic violence. I read this piece and think ‘pot-kettle-black’

My province’s government instructs police officers to treat domestic violence with a “gendered lens” and assume that men are perpetrators. How can this be changed? (19 April 2016) Reddit discussion thread with linked reference material. Note that male victims of DV are much more likely to report being “very dissatisfied” by their treatment at the hands of police. Is it any wonder?

Minister for Prevention of Family Violence needs to think about her own family history, by Bettina Arndt (1 April 2016) Australia

A female voice for ‘demonised’ men (16 March 2016) Australia

Changing attitudes towards domestic abuse against men (16 March 2016) UK

Why female violence against men is society’s last great taboo, by Martin Daubney (15 March 2016) UK

The Melbourne suburbs where a parent is most likely to murder their child (12 March 2016) Australia

The scandal of women’s violence towards men, by Melanie Phillips (11 March 2016) To read the full article seems to require a subscription to The Times.

Women Who Emotionally Abuse Men (29 February 2016)

Spain gender laws: A country against men (18 February 2016)

Australians are being told that gender inequality is the root cause of domestic violence. But is it?, by Gay Alcorn (19 February 2016)

Dad domestic violence victim fears courts being used as a weapon (22 January 2016) Australia

The solutions: ‘We can make it better’ | Behind Closed Doors (31 December 2015) NZ

For Nelson Women’s Refuge manager Katie O’Donnell, the solution to New Zealand’s domestic violence problem is more straightforward. “People say it’s a really complex issue. Well, it is a complex issue but also it isn’t – guys just have to stop doing it”

Vera Baird, a British regional ‘Police Commissioner’, disseminates a Christmas message implying that men who budget their finances carefully do so in order to “economically abuse” their partners (25 December 2015)

economic_abuse

Dear Daddy: Viral video highlights how sexist jokes contribute to culture of violence against women (16 December 2015) Australia. Same old stuff, demonising men and putting full responsibility on them to ‘fix’ domestic violence whilst ignoring female perpetration of violence.

Blindfolded with a White Ribbon, by Geoffrey Luck (27 November 2015) Australia

Silent Victims, by Bettina Arndt (14 November 2015) Australia

A simple solution to domestic violence, a video by Janet Bloomfield (15 October 2015)

The surprisingly common reason John hits his partner (14 October 2015) Of course a male batterer is profiled, but watch the fur fly when someone suggests a contributing factor that doesn’t fit the feminist Duluth Model.

The cause of both domestic violence and terrorism is angry men (6 October 2015)

Turnbull’s response to domestic violence ignores the evidence (6 October 2015)

Miranda Devine: Demonising men won’t stop domestic violence (27 September 2015) Australia – with an example of the predictable feminist reaction here. Miranda responded to her feminist critics firstly with this article, and then this one.

Domestic violence package: A great start, but it will only get us so far (25 September 2015) Australia

Domestic violence called “Violence against Women” (21 September 2015) A Reddit Australia discussion thread that followed an ill-informed comment by newly-installed Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull

Men’s anti-Domestic Violence advocate says scourge “is a male problem” (13 September 2015) Plenty of readers comments that are highly critical of the White Ribbon Campaign Ambassador quoted in the article

The Hidden Politics of Family Violence (8 August 2015) Australia

Why men feel aggrieved in family court interventions (11 August 2015) Australia

To change attitudes to family violence, we need a shift in gender views (22 July 2015) Disgracefully biased article from The Conversation wherein the feminist author laments Australians growing realisation that DV is not a gendered issue, dismissing this as a “misunderstanding”.

Domestic Abuse: ‘It is not a women’s issue and it is not a men’s issue. It’s a human problem’ (14 July 2015) Ireland

Lawrence Ben Eliezer on Institutionalized Feminism within the Criminal Justice System (14 July 2015) Canadian video

Retiring magistrate Ron Kilner says domestic violence laws have been exploited (11 July 2015) Australia. Interesting how politicians, judges, etc, only begin speaking freely and honestly about gender-related issues upon their retirement. (see my post on this theme here)

Family violence: the focus should be on support, not mandatory reporting (3 July 2015) This links to an article in the ABC web site, but the same article was also published in The Conversation. Feminist authors remains true to type by ignoring male victims and abusive women. Australia

Rosie Batty – The Opposite Case (28 June 2015) Australia

Patriarchy vs Facts: Domestic Violence (PART I) (23 June 2015) Video

Men experiencing or perpetrating domestic violence have higher incidence of mental health problems (20 May 2015)

Domestic violence a ‘silent epidemic’ in gay relationships (30 May 2015) Australia

Mark Latham on why Labor can’t get it right on domestic violence (16 May 2015) and the obligatory feminist bite-back (this one being one of the milder responses)

$16m for dom violence but $1.2b for terrorism (14 May 2015) Australia

UK article about the high level of violence amongst lesbian couples (7 May 2015)

Miranda Devine: The brutal truth about domestic violence (5 April 2015)

Dating violence protections empowering for young men, women (2 April 2015) USA

Violence against women should mean the end of any high profile career (30 March 2015) See great reader’s comment contributed by Mark Dent

Reddit TIL discussion thread about recent CDC research claiming more men are victims of partner abuse (23 March 2015) USA and related mensrights discussion thread

Tara Moss: ‘We can’t let trolls hijack the domestic violence conversation’ (5 March 2015) Australia. This is the feminist concept of a “conversation” – we talk & you shut-up. If you try to join our conversation then you are a troll. And, as is becoming increasingly common of late, no reader’s comments were permitted on this article.

Men forgotten in violence debate‘ by Tanveer Ahmed (9 February 2015), with follow-up article, Feminism in crisis as male supporter expresses view of his own (9 February 2015)

Domestic Violence: How taboos veil the truth‘ by Don Edgar (27 January 2015) Australia

Can domestic abusers be rehabilitated? (1 February 2015) Gynocentric/pro-feminist bias but worth reading in conjunction with the comments contributed by readers

When it comes to Domestic Violence, she says she wants equality – however when faced with a discussion of male victims – she labels it a failure and bitches about statistics #oneistoomany (25 January 2015)

Cutting off unfaithful penises, apparently justified and hilarious (15 January 2015)

Telstra introduces domestic violence leave (13 January 2015) Australia. Article implies only women are victims of domestic violence and leaves us guessing as to whether the company policy is sexist/discriminatory – or just the journalism

Domestic Violence – Donald Dutton Debunks The Gender Paradigm (25 November 2014) Youtube video

Domestic Violence Against Men: Why We Need To Pay More Attention To Vulnerable Males (6 November 2014)

5 Facts about domestic violence to consider this November (and every other month too) by Janet Bloomfield (28 October 2014)

This feminist writer has the gall to attack men’s rights groups on the basis that they are uncaring about the plight of male victims of domestic violence (21 October 2014) Be sure to peruse the readers comments

Our submission to the Home Office consultation on the strengthening of the law on domestic abuse (15 October 2014) Mike Buchanan rails against the rampant anti-male bias evident within both the UK government agencies responsible for dealing with domestic abuse, and within the advocacy groups upon which the agencies confer and rely.

Stefan Molyneux video entitled ‘Domestic violence symposium’ (16 June 2014)

Why don’t we speak up when we see signs of domestic violence? (1 October 2014) This article in a pro-feminist web site provides a stereotypical feminist perspective on the subject. What was notable was that almost all the readers comments attacked the author’s obvious anti-male bias. This article forms the focus of this blog post.

Do we give female domestic violence abusers a pass? (1 October 2014)

In this article a feminist writer, Amanda Hess, attempts to rationalise why domestic violence by a female sports star should be addressed differently than in the case of a male sports star (22 September 2014) Most of the 600+ readers  comments that followed disagreed and told her so in no uncertain terms.

Woman as aggressor: The unspoken truth of domestic violence (19 September 2014)

Trivialising and excusing violence against women (17 September 2014) Author pushes a feminist perspective but there are almost 300 reader’s comments

Women more likely to commit domestic violence, studies show (16 September 2014)

Welsh gender politics putting male and female victims at risk says men’s charity (10 September 2014)

New study of domestic violence: “Women significantly more likely to be physically aggressive” (7 July 2014)

In the US a decline in domestic violence (26 August 2014)

Children most often killed by their mothers (25 September 2012) NZ. This article covers a range of issues other than just filicide.

Is that a frying pan, or are you just unhappy to see me? (2 March 2008)

Men Are More Likely Than Women To Be Victims In Dating Violence, UNH Expert Says (19 May 2006)

http://www.thecitizen.org.au/features/what-about-men-lies-statistics-and-peddling-myths-about-violence-against-women A pro-feminist article that tries to appear even-handed, but it’s worth reading by virtue of the level of detail provided with additional info provided in readers comments.

‘Lollies at a childrens party and other myths: Violence, protection orders and fathers rights groups’ by Miranda Kaye and Julia Tomie (1998). Another detailed but flawed paper in support of the feminist position on DV. Its main line of attack is that available statistics don’t support claims made by men’s rights advocates. It conveniently ignores the fact that most Australian DV research is undertaken by feminists and biased towards finding ‘evidence’ to support a pre-determined conclusion. Thus the accuracy and impartiality of the research is the real issue, rather than the credibility of the whistle-blowers.

The paper also misinterprets and/or takes out of context, many of the comments it attributes to fathers groups in an attempt to portray them as irrational or unreasonable. Finally the authors attack specific statements put forward by fathers groups despite the same arguments having been used (at other times) by feminists in support of their own (feminist) perspective. The authors of this paper, for example, want to jump from one camp to the other (and back again) in relation to the issue of whether behaviour other than physical violence should be included in the definition of domestic violence.

The Modern Day Ducking Stool: Domestic Abuse Programs and Man Shaming (16 August 2014)

More male abuse survivors in rural Ireland are seeking help (27 July 2014)

The Domestic Violence Method (January 2015) Australia

50 domestic violence myths (27 December 2013) USA

Are men really victims of intimate partner violence? (2011) Australia

Women are more violent says study (12 November 2000)

Researcher says women’s initiation of domestic violence predicts risks to women (6 July 2009)

More than 40% domestic violence victims are male, report reveals (5 September 2010) with related discussion thread here (worth reading)

The Gender Paradigm in domestic violence research and theory (2005) Includes coverage of the claim that women engage in violence mainly due to self-defence.

Intimate partner abuse of men (Edith Cowan University, 2010)

Domestic violence: Women abusers on the rise (23 June 2009) Australia

Violent women by Lynette Haas (appeared in the Sunday Mail, 28 March 1999)

Husband abuse: Fact or Fiction by Dr Sotirios Sarantakos (Australia)

Deconstructing Self-Defence in Wife-to-Husband Violence by Dr Sotirios Sarantakos (Australia)

Domestic Violence and the Male Victim by  Anne Lewis & Dr Sotirios Sarantakos (Australia)

Wikipedia entry on domestic violence against men

Domestic abuse community punishments ban planned by Labour (27 July 2014) And unsurprisingly, no mention of male victims.

Sorry for being a man (NZ politician) Youtube video

We need to show it’s just not manly to hit out (9 July 2014) Nonsense article dripping with white knight bias … “The idea that the woman may be equally to blame, even if she is also violent and even the initiator of the violence, is simply not acceptable”

Society’s acceptance of domestic violence? (12 March 2013)

Youtube video interview on DV with Erin Pizzey, Senator Anne Cools & Dr. Martin Fiebert

http://time.com/2921491/hope-solo-women-violence/ (25 June 2014) with related discussion at http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2942ji/double_standards_that_cause_womens_violence/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Christina Hoff Sommers on violence against women (Youtube video)

Women ‘more likely to hit their partners’ (25 June 2014), ‘Rise of female relationship terrorists: Study finds women are more controlling’ (26 June 2014), ‘Relationship terrorists study‘ (25 June 2014), Women are more controlling and aggressive than men (26 June 2014), ‘Women more likely to be aggressive in relationships‘, and ‘Confessions of an intimate terrorist‘ Reddit discussion thread and linked article (27 June 2014)

Mothers ‘faking domestic violence’ to keep their children, inquiry told (24 June 2014) Yes, Therese (Edwards), domestic violence IS under-reported, especially those incidents involving female perpetrators – but I doubt that your National Council has expressed any concerns about that issue. By way of background, this article concerns submissions to an Australian government Inquiry into Child Support.

More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals (22 June 2014)

When a woman hits a man it’s justified (21 June 2014)

The fallacious stereotype of ‘male violence’ and why it’s being sold to you (11 June 2014) Good Australian article by Adam Blanch. This attracted a spiteful, biased and misleading rebuttal from a feminist by the name of Caitlin Roper. Caitlin herself had earlier published her own item about domestic violence, a response to which was subsequently penned by Australian MRA Greg Canning.

Senator Anne Cools at Toronto conference on domestic violence (2014, video)

Daisy Kler lying to the public by Diana Davison and John Hembling (26 May 2014)

Shifting the gender bias (19 April 2014) An example of one of the all-too-few media articles that recognise and are sympathetic to male victims of DV

VAWA: The American Feminists’ Abuse Industry by Hunter Brooks

The silence of domestic violence

A reddit discussion thread about the anti-male bias evident in the web site of an American domestic violence centre’s web site. Unfortunately such bias (i.e. stating or implying that all men accessing the site are abusers and that all women are victims) is also common in domestic violence centres in Australia.

Male victims of DV who call the police are more likely to be arrested than the female perpetrator (A discussion thread on reddit/mensrights) and then see this article

Solange and Jay-Z: It’s simply not the same if a man is hit by a woman (18 May 2014)

She punched him but he is bigger, so he is deemed the “primary aggressor” (6 May 2014)

http://judgybitch.com/tag/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/10752232/Our-attitude-to-violence-against-men-is-out-of-date.html

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/brand-what-do-you-do-when-a-girl-hits-you/

Invisible victims: When men are abused

Signs of an abuser apply to women as well as men

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gekyg7yy4Dc&feature=plcp (a ‘Girl Writes What’ video)

http://www.eurekastreet.com.au/article.aspx?aeid=38186#.U0zOOlWSySo (This article has an anti-male bias but there are some good references cited within the readers comments)

http://www.itv.com/news/wales/story/2014-04-07/instances-of-male-domestic-abuse-increases-in-wales/#men-reporting-domestic-abuse-rises-across-wales_346689

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/10815810/Nagging-could-cost-the-lives-of-hundreds-of-men.html

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence

http://www.oneinthree.com.au/malevictims/

http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/dr-greg-canning-on-domestic-violence.html

http://www.drceli.com.au/blogs/elizabeth-celi-blog/2011/11/19/male-victims-of-domestic-abuse—an-under-served-group-of-men

http://twnow.com/tech-founder-in-shocking-domestic-abuse-case/ (29 April 2014)

http://www.batteredmen.com/

http://j4mb.wordpress.com/2014/01/11/vera-bairds-response-to-our-recent-public-challenge-concerning-domestic-violence/

http://www.australianmensrights.com/Domestic_Violence_Statistics-Child_Abuse_Australia/National_Times_Really-Women_Bash_Men-Violent_Women_Australia-Study_Kim_Halford_08MAR2011.aspx

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This blog contains many other posts that discuss the issue of domestic violence – Please click here to see a list of relevant posts.

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