Well dear readers, my family was eating lunch at a cafe today. At a nearby table was a large group of teen girls with a couple of totem male friends (unsurprisingly, placed on the end of the table). As is now so often the case, they were inclined towards the noisy, vulgar and skimpily-dressed end of the spectrum.
My wife said to our son something along the lines of ‘don’t even think about bringing one of them home … we’re not sharing our stuff with the likes of them. If you want to be exploited, don’t get us involved.’ She’s only a small ‘f’ feminist, you see.
We briefly spoke about the need for him to exercise careful judgement in this regard, drawing on a couple of personal examples we know of.
Oh, and there was also a bird doing the rounds at the cafe too. An ibis. A waitress stopped and asked me if it was bothering me. ‘No’, I said. ‘I’m used to them by now’. My son mentioned that the popular name for these birds was ‘bin chickens’. They seem to be a bit like feathered rats, poking around much of the the time to get a free feed.
Which brings me to the point of this post. It’s a worrying time to have a teenage son. If you’re in the same situation, what are you doing to get him ready for the coming onslaught? And sex is only part of it.
Are you putting a book or books on his pillow? If so, which ones? One possibility might be Jordan B Peterson, for example.
What are you telling your son/s, and what are you leaving for him/them to discover for themselves?
Feminism and Buddhism – Another shared cafe experience but with female attendees drawn from the next higher age group. And I don’t remember there being any birds present.
Whilst reading this it occurred to me that, with just a few modifications, it might have been written by a guy in relation to his unsatisfactory dating experiences (though no one would publish it, as it would be considered misogynistic and brimful of ‘whataboutery’.
I have been meaning to create a post about dating for some time now. There are already, however, a selection of articles regarding dating/courtship in the following posts:
Anyway, so how about I make an attempt at modifying Andrea’s article myself in order to reveal the male perspective? Here goes …
Believe it or not, once upon a time I was just a caring, optimistic guy looking for love in my life. I minded my Ps and Qs, showed my genuine kindness and enthusiasm and behaved with grace with every girl I met. One by one, my enthusiasm went from George Clooney sweet to burn all of your crap ??? Beyonce — I’m literally over these entitled narcissists that make up the majority of our dating pool. I wasn’t always a douchebag, but modern dating culture made me this way.
1. THE FISH IN THE SEA HAVE TURNED INTO MUTANTS IN THE SEWER. It used to be that coming across good girls, or at least girls with actual normal manners, weren’t so few and far between. These days, you have to hike up Everest and nearly die of hypothermia before you come across a small glimmer of hope. How is it possible for so many bitches to exist at one time? Ugh.
2. MOST GIRLS AREN’T WORTH PUTTING ON PANTS FOR. Getting ready for another date just to sit across from a girl who talks about her needs and continually seeks validation makes me want to vomit in my beer. I’d rather sit at home in comfort, blissfully unaware of the flake I’m not missing out on.
3. I LIKE NETFLIX MORE THAN DEALING WITH ACTUAL WOMEN. Who needs a girlfriend when I can sit in my jocks with a beer and marathon through the new season of House of Cards. That’s right, no one. Stress-free relaxation is just a button press away.
4. IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE GOOD GIRLS ARE STILL OUT THERE. In all honesty, I’ve met so many douche canoes that I’m starting to wonder if real and grown-ass women still exist. Are you out there? Hello? Will the real good girls please stand the hell up? Geez.
5. I’M SICK OF COMPETING. I didn’t sign up for any BS reality TV type of love, so forgive me if I’m not about to be just another contestant in the lineup. No one dates honestly anymore, so why should I care about dating at all?
6. THERE’S ZERO EFFORT MADE THESE DAYS, SO WHY AM I WASTING MY ENERGY? I’m rarely impressed by women now and it’s not because of anything they did wrong; it’s more the expectation that they’re going to be a huge disappointment like every flake before them. I’d like to be hopeful that one woman will eventually change my mind, but I have yet to come across a woman who isn’t a lazy jerk that just wants me to buy her stuff and shower her with attention. So forgive me if I’m not swooning with charm right off the bat — she needs to earn it first.
7. I’VE BEEN GHOSTED ONE TOO MANY TIMES. I haven’t been ghosted just once or twice — it’s literally 80% of the time I meet someone. Women these days just cower and turn into ill-mannered jerks that can’t formulate a simple sentence to say goodbye. After about a dozen, I stopped caring to go above and beyond to remain the nice guy. I’m done.
(I gave up at doing the gender swap thing at this point, but you get it? Right?)
8. I’M SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE A SEXUAL OBJECT. Because why would I want to subject myself to a selfish idiot who doesn’t respect me as a person and just wants my body? I’m perfectly good at satisfying myself. I don’t need to subject myself to one more loser who is most likely going to activate my bitch flag just so he can feel temporary enjoyment. No thanks.
9. BEING A BITCH FEELS INFINITELY BETTER THAN BEING A DOORMAT. I refuse to let myself fall back into the trap of being a doe-eyed princess looking for her Prince Charming — I’m over it. I used to be naive and I used to wish for my fairy tale ending until one too many penis pictures brought me back to earth. It’s a dog eat dog world out there when it comes to dating and I’m done getting taken down by being too weak. Bitch mode is on and it’s here to stay … unless my unicorn finally falls from the sky in front of me.
10. I’VE LITERALLY RUN OUT OF CARE. It’s not that I’m a complete bitch — I have a good side too, but I’m sick of giving it out freely to guys who end up walking all over me and taking advantage of my kindness. From now on, if you want me to put on pants and leave my apartment for you, you need to show me some real respect first. If you don’t, you’ll be meeting the bitch soon. I have zero care left.
30yo reveals question single Aussie men don’t ask anymore (1 September 2024) Yet another one of these articles written by some embittered hit-the-wall woman who has never bothered to read/discuss the male perspective on the issues she raises.
Man’s text exposes ‘brutal’ TikTok dating trend (23 April 2022) Men put up with put-downs from the time they hit puberty, but if/when they return the favor then it’s suddenly an “alarming trend”. Welcome to gender equality ladies.
You might well have noticed articles regularly appearing on the above topics. Almost without exception the theme is one of men as unappreciative, lazy, selfish, oafs. We are told that women who are in heterosexual relationships are routinely forced to pick up the slack, and consequently are left feeling unhappy and disadvantaged.
Until now I collated articles on this theme in (mostly) the following blog posts:
Most of the articles on this theme don’t acknowledge that men are, on average, doing more around the house than they have ever done before. This article bucks the trend:
“Although men have increased their housework time since the 1970s, they more typically perform the least-urgent chores, like changing lightbulbs or car maintenance”. Err, thanks for the bouquet
Until recently articles about women having trouble finding/securing dating or marriage partners were often quoted as querying “Where have all the good men gone?“. I talk about this in another post called ‘MGTOW and the Marriage Strike‘.
The rationale is that men are deficient in that they are failing in their responsibilities (to women) through their immaturity and/or by simply not trying hard enough to please. There is never a suggestion of any shortcomings on the part of women.
I’ve noticed we seem to be transitioning to a new meme, similar yet different to the last. In this one men are still deficient – they are now said to be playing video games instead of doing the work or study necessary to improve their educational/financial position.
We are told that educated women are complaining because, apparently, there are not enough “educated” men to partner with. Here’s an example of an article on this theme (with a response from an MRA here). As a consequence, these privileged women say, they must freeze their eggs and/or become solo parents by way of artificial insemination, etc.
Of course it would make sense to delve deeper into why men are staying home playing video games and/or are becoming increasingly under-represented in universities, but the debate stalls at the shaming stage. Because … still no suggestion of any shortcomings or blame on the part of women. (This blog entry illustrates what might otherwise be said and discussed)
I saw this program about solo parenthood on TV the other night. Interesting, though very much gynocentric in terms of the issues explored/presented. I saw women who had quite negative attitudes towards men and/or who freely admitted that they were not prepared to compromise in terms of any aspect of potential traditional pairings. On the other hand they were most willing to compromise their independent/empowered woman status when it came to having others around them support and/or subsidise their lifestyle choice.
The perspective of straight men and their attitudes and experiences was not addressed. Sperm donors who chose not to establish/maintain contact with their offspring were presented as insensitive cads. No hint was provided as to what other factors that might have contributed to their behaviour, for e.g. the possibility of being lumbered with eighteen years of child support payments.
Then I read firstly this article, then another, and another, these being just a few examples of a spate of pieces on this theme. As is often the case, there were some quite illuminating reader’s comments following each, including this offering:
“Feminism is already a dead woman walking. All feminism has is shaming language and the State (ironically, ultimately other men) to keep men to the feminist line.
But now, increasingly, the shaming doesn’t work. And men are disengaging from society in general to avoid entanglements with the state; if you don’t get married, you can’t be divorced, if you don’t co-habit you can’t have half your stuff appropriated, if you don’t have children, you can’t be on the hook for child support, if you don’t enter the corporate world you can’t be be accused of ‘harassment’ and if you don’t date you drastically reduce your chance of a false rape accusation.
These are genuine threat points for men in the modern world that didn’t exist before feminism. It speaks to the feeble minds of feminists that they would think that men will simply carry on as they did when these threats did not exist. For the last 50 years men (mostly) still did. But that’s over now.
So men are doing what they have always done: survey their environment, understand it, and behave rationally according to it. Which means, increasingly, living their lives without regard to what women want. This does not mean living without sex, relationships or female company. Just that the investment men make in all these areas is being dramatically reduced.
As feminism reduces the value of women (in men’s eyes), so men are reducing the amount of time, effort, attention and money they are willing to spend for the declining benefits modern women now bring to their lives.
But the real news is that the true cost of feminism, first born by men, and then children, is now being passed on to women. Record numbers of women are living alone, record numbers of women are childless, record numbers are on psychiatric medication, record numbers are facing a life-time of wage slavery in grinding jobs that they can never leave. And still feminism spins these outcomes as the conscious choices of these women and as ’empowering’.
And yet, women’s self-reported happiness, across all classes, all races, all demographics is lower than ever since records began 50 years ago. Tellingly, for the first time ever, their happiness is also now lower than men’s.
But you do not need to read ‘The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness’ to know this. Just talk to the increasing number of 30 and 40 year old childless spinsters one on one – not in a group – to get the REAL story. The REAL effect of feminism in the REAL world. These women don’t give two hoots about feminism, they are just wondering where all the good husbands, hell, ANY decent man, went.
Mostly, disgusted with what feminism has done to women, he walked away.
For the truth is that men don’t want to fight women, it goes against the core of what it means to be a man. But feminism thrust men into a fight that they neither started nor wanted. To the point that feminists are reduced to crowing about ‘winning’ battles that men never turned up for.
And even now, as feminism pushes and pushes and pushes to ever more absurd levels, as ever more restrictions are placed on normal masculine behavior, ever more insane definitions of ‘rape’, ‘assault’, and ‘aggression’ are drafted into law in increasingly desperate attempts to somehow, anyhow, cast women as perpetual victims – even now – men are still refusing to be drawn into a real battle.
That’s how deeply men do not want to fight women.
The sound of the final battle between the sexes will not be heard in the streets or legislatures. It will not be televised or reported. There will be no flags hoisted or victory parades. Because it is already in progress. It is happening all around us in plain sight, for those with the eyes to see it.
And men are deploying the most devastating weapon of all – indifference. In this final battle who cares least wins.
The time has come to reap the harvest of feminism, and for women the fruit will be bitterest of all.”
And here is further evidence of the feminist hive-mind in action with another series of almost identical articles on a related theme – young men allegedly addicted to video games:
Unemployed and don’t care: why young men aren’t working (1 April 2017) A sexist hit-piece in a professional journal of all places. The author wilfully confuses cause & effect when discussing unemployment amongst young men. See reader’s comments including:
“placing the blame of men not working on video games seems like such a stretch of the imagination as to be unbelievable”
The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women, by David M Buss (January 2016) USA. An article written by a male academic, but from a wholly gynocentric perspective.
Where are all the smart men? (3 May 2015) New Zealand with related reddit mensrights discussion threads here and here. A separate, and even more ignorant editorial here concludes with “The failure of men to foot it with them educationally in equal numbers is no reason to change the education system or promote men undeservedly. The shortage of partners for highly educated women is a problem only men can solve. Get your credentials, boys.”
There have been, and there continues to be, many articles written about the topic of who should meet the costs of dating or courtship. Most articles appear to be written by women, and mocking (to varying degrees) the alleged or implied cheapness of men who dare object to paying the entire cost of a night out.
Whilst hardly a ‘life or death’ matter, this topic has special significance in that it illustrates how some traditional gender roles are aggressively retained whilst others are forcefully discarded. With the former all appearing to benefit women.
A number of justifications are put forward as to why one partner should pay for the other. Perhaps the most common is the suggestion that the person who makes the approach, and issues the invitation, should pay for the date. That is clearly very convenient for women given that 99 times out of 100, the male is the one doing the asking (this being yet another retained gender stereotype).
After that, the rationalisations as to why men should pay get even more ‘out there’ … especially when it is a feminist at the keyboard. Consider for example, ‘I Let Him Pay for Dinner – Am I a Bad Feminist?‘ by Suzanna Weiss (5 July 2016)
My own position is that if the costs of dates aren’t shared, or if partners aren’t treated on alternate dates, then it is free-loading no matter how you dress it up. And if the first date is such that you know there won’t be a second one, then you should definitely split the bill. Forget ideology, it’s just the decent thing to do.
And now the gender wage gap, in an increasing number of employment segments, is actually reversed (i.e. favors women). This means that in more and more instances, the female dinner-goer would have a more substantial income than her male partner (see related post). Surely now, women would be proud to pay their own way. Ha, ha, yes, I’m only kidding.
Abbie Chatfield angers Italian men after calling out ‘sexist’ menus (7 April 2022) How ridiculous is this? Abbie and the sisterhood should all pay their share, and they’re welcome to have a menu with prices. The thing is, they don’t want to know prices in order to pay – they want to know in order to be able to gloat.
Almost all of the articles on this subject in the mainstream media focus on heterosexual couples, and are set in the context of first world western countries.
The heterosexual focus is interesting as my initial impression is that courtship costs are approached in a somewhat more egalitarian manner in gay/lesbian relationships. I have listed some articles about splitting costs & gay/lesbian dating and courtship below. If readers can suggest more and/or better references then please leave a message.
I was sitting in a small restaurant in a place called Chiang Dao the other day. At the next table were a group of four American women in their late 20’s or early 30’s. Western woman sitting alone is a common sight in Thailand, but sometimes – as on this occasion – they meet up for a coffee and chat.
Unfortunately I couldn’t but help to overhear their conversation. Were they talking about the beautiful natural environment all about them? No. Perhaps they were discussing the abundant cultural attractions? Nope. They were dissecting their experiences with guys they had met on their travels.
More specifically, they were discussing all the things that those guys had said or done or been, that rendered them unattractive as partners – or even as human beings. According to their toxic banter every one of those men was a loser. It was a bit like the girls described in this article, but ten years on.
With such an unpleasant demeanour, and competition from far more graceful and kindly locals (pictured below), I do hope those female tourists enjoy their solo journey … for the remainder of their holidays and beyond.
My next stop, just a kilometre or two down the road, was a famous Buddhist retreat where, thankfully, I managed to restore my sense of calm.
Now those women in the restaurant may or may not consider themselves to be feminists. I guess it is possible that they were merely ordinary folk who had been touched with the nasty stick.
Nevertheless on returning home that encounter got me thinking about whether anyone had written anything about feminism and Buddhism, and so I got busy with google and soon found a few references (below).
This blog post entitled Misandry and Mahayana (9 January 2011) is as good a starting point as any.
“I do not intend to be critical, but I simply do not understand how misandry and Mahayana are supposed to fit. Are you professing to adhere to a particular faith, and then immediately bending that faith to suit your neuroses? Are you taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha for the benefit of all sentient beings just so long as no men are involved? …
Misandry — contempt of men — together with misogyny — contempt of women — are nothing more than gender-specific expressions of misanthropy — hatred of human beings. Since this is the very opposite of Buddhism, why should we give any voice at all to such thinking? Why should we pay this any attention, or give it any ground? Isn’t this something we should try to overcome?”
See also:
Another post that touches on western women in Thailand is here
Those posts found that the ‘wage gap’ is an issue that is persistently misrepresented by the feminist lobby, and that differentials in salary are generally reflective of personal choice rather than gender discrimination in the workplace.
This post explores the notion that there is a flip-side to the ‘wage gap’, that I label the gender ‘expense gap’. This concept is borne from the premise that men/boys incur significant additional expense, in comparison to women, to access or obtain various goods or services and/or to perform the role that western society demands of them.
The existence of a gender expense/cost gap is addressed in the media from time to time, but such discussions are limited to the gynocentric meme of a ‘pink tax’. Such articles, examples of which are provided below, focus on women paying more for retail products such as shavers, fashion, haircuts and sanitary products. The reality that men pay more than women for other goods/services is overlooked.
The Gender Expense Gap is broader and more pervasive than simply retail pricing differentials, encompassing for example:
Men being required to pay more for a particular product or service than a woman for the same or similar product or service (i.e. gender discriminatory pricing). A broad range of examples can be identified including nightclub entry, membership of online dating sites, and insurance (health, life, auto, etc). Here is one such example.
Men being expected (via social convention) to meet the full cost of a given expense, e.g. a restaurant meal or a holiday, rather than the relevant expense/s being split 50/50 with their female companion
Men being forced, by law, to incur certain expenses that would either not be incurred by women, or would only rarely be incurred by them, e.g. payment of alimony or spousal support
Men being unable to avoid particular expenses (without a penalty being applied), that women in the same circumstances would or could avoid (e.g. in the US, women are less likely to meet their commitments to pay child support, and less likely to be penalised for doing so)
Men being denied compensation or financial support that would, in the case of women, offset costs incurred by them. Consider for example discounts or financial incentives or external funding support denied to men but available to women, e.g. scholarships and educational grants (example), sanitary products, superannuation top-up payments (here and here), maternity leave, and rebates or tax reductions for female-owned business start-ups.
How might we also, for example, assign a financial cost to factors such as workplace deaths (overwhelming affecting men), and the health impacts of reduced medical research/treatment (whereby the government spends a pittance on men/boys relative to women/girls).
This is a most challenging task as far as economic analysis goes, but nevertheless ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’. A related reddit discussion thread can be found here.
Let’s look now at some of the specific factors that might be considered:
Courtship expenses and celebratory days
Men are still expected to subsidise most of the costs associated with courtship. The issue of who pays for dates is addressed in another blog post. One of the articles listed there is ‘Why women should never go halves on a date’ (27 November 2014).
Men are also expected to spend more on celebratory days, for e.g. birthdays, Mothers Day and Valentines Day, than are women.
Although times are certainly changing, men typically remain the primary breadwinner in the family and are responsible for supporting most/all of the living expenses of their spouse and children. Men are also likely to bring considerably more assets into the marriage than are women. Woman however still typically remain in charge of making most of the decisions regarding the expenditure of household income.
The following quote addresses the average differential between earning and spending in male/female households:
“Men earn 61.5% of all income but only account for 25% of domestic spending. Men only spend 40% of what they earn after tax. In contrast women make up 38.5% of all income but control 75% of domestic spending, women on average spend 90% more money that they earn. Men are exploited as cash machines and even with spending on children accounted for women still spend more money on themselves than the combined spending for men and children.” (Source)
Divorce/Separation, incl. spousal/partner/child support and alimony
Sources addressing the issue of spousal maintenance/alimony can be found in this other blog post, but some examples are provided below.
UN Women Australia MBA scholarship (May 2020) Each scholarship is worth $60,000 – available at the University of Sydney Business School. I have since written to relevant agencies about this matter, details regarding which can be found in this post.
“The decision [to escape provisions of sex discrimination legislation] will allow Ivanhoe Grammar to target female students in its advertising and to offer sweeteners to attract girls, including “scholarship and bursary assistance”.”
“It would be bad enough that men are continuously shamed for earning more than women, and told that because women get better grades in easier subjects, that women are more intelligent (SourceFed, 2014) or motivated (Lewin, 2006). However, women are also given disproportionate financial aid to attend college, even though they are now a sizeable majority of college students compared to men. While data is difficult to find, using the University of Oklahoma as an anecdotal example, in 2007 women received 78% of scholarships, and between the years of 2008 -2013 women received 89%, 77%, 68%, 94%, 92%, and 100% respectively (OU SLIS, 2013).
Government grants are another major source of funding for women wishing to attend college. There are numerous resources available created specifically for women (Scholarships for Women), but none specifically for men, unless you count athletic scholarships, which are a sticking point with Feminist activists who resent that female athletics lose money while male athletics make money for colleges (Bloomberg News, 2011). It seems fans aren’t interested in paying to watch female athletes perform at the level of a male high school junior varsity team. However, if you put athletics aside, and focus only on the resources available to help men obtain college degrees, those resources are sorely lacking, while money is being thrown at women who are wasting it on Liberal Arts degrees instead of STEM.” (Source)
Some time ago I bookmarked an article entitled ‘Why overseas women love Aussie men‘. I was intrigued how the writer (a guy, by the way), managed to package a subject that could easily rankle female readers into something quite palatable. The potentially prickly subject he tackled was the phenomenon of men seeking partners from outside Australia.
In fact the author not only made the topic appear benign, but even presented it in a way that might conceivably massage the egos of readers. Part of his strategy was to present the issue as being one of foreign women preferring Australian men, rather than the other way around. Although he did sneak in that cheeky little quip at the end “If only they were more appreciated at home“. “They” being Australian men.
Although the author focused on American women, in fact women from the USA barely make it into the top ten list with regards to those granted partner visas. As you can see from this source, women from various Asian countries (particularly China, the Philippines and Thailand) are far more popular choices. This data is five years old, but numbers have remained steady since then. That doesn’t mean that demand for foreign brides is static however, with further growth in numbers prevented by annual quotas on spouse visas issued by the Australian Government.
I imagine that the reason for the focus on North American women (in the article) was simply to run with the Hollywood/male movie star angle. Another reason though might have been the fact that many western women have a certain ‘thing’ about being second-bested by Asian women. This is usually kept well under wraps, denied even, only to emerge guns blazing under the right set of circumstances (as mentioned in this other blog post).
The writer coyly suggested that the observed attraction to foreign partners was simply due to the ‘grass being greener on the other side of the fence’. It’s an approach that won’t hurt any feelings, as there is no need to acknowledge or reflect upon possible shortcomings on the part of Australian women.
Ah, but can you imagine the furore if the author had taken an alternative approach and asked the question “why are so many Australian men rejecting Australian women as life partners?“. Not that pro-feminist news.com.au would have accepted such an article for publication. Oh the bitter recriminations and backlash about men only wanting ‘submissive slaves’. The shaming remarks like “men who are threatened by independent women!” and “men who couldn’t get a women in their own country!” The horror, the horror. To those reading this and nodding their head to such sentiments … well I can only assume that you have little knowledge of Asian culture or personal experience with mixed-race couples.
I wonder to what extent this trend of Australian men marrying women from non-western backgrounds is due to changes in the attitude and behaviour of Australian women brought about via the pervasive and overdone influence of feminism? Heck, this could be a good topic for a thesis – that is if you could find a university brave enough to sponsor it.
Many thoughtful men in western countries now believe that their choice is limited to a MGTOW lifestyle, celibacy, or life as a purse-pooch/walking ATM (i.e. resigning themselves to the increasingly anti-male strictures of the society in which they live). For these folks an epiphany sometimes occurs upon exposure to life and relationships within a culture where feminist ideology, as we now know it in the west, has yet to take root. I think this is fairly evident in some of the references linked to this post about cross-cultural marriages. That blog post also addresses the negative bias and stereotyping directed at men seeking foreign partners as reflected in articles such as this. As one reader aptly noted:
“This is Scott Morrison and the Coalition playing dog-whistle politics again. Let’s not focus upon the thousands upon thousands of successful cross-cultural marriages that enrich Australian society – that would be a good news story! – let’s focus on a trivially small number of cases (exactly 2 were cited by Morrison) where an ambitious sugar-daddy seeks his naive, young asian bride. This is just pandering to small-minded racists who operate on simplistic stereotypes. This only increases the stigma against intercultural couples.
I’m angry about this because I’ve experienced this first hand. As an Anglo-Australian who has married an Asian seven years younger than me, I’m aware of the stereotypes that are directed our way. Nevermind that we are happily married, never had an argument and share everything together. This is something my brother, who has a partner 11 years his junior doesn’t have to go through because she’s Anglo-Australian too (Nor did my parents who were also separated by 10 years age gap.) This is simply a double standard based on race that society, and especially Scott Morrison needs to build a bridge and get over.
I have many friends who are in happy, loving, cross-cultural relationships. Unlike other couples we have to go through the rigours of laying our personal lives bare to the Immigration Department – who I can assure you are very thorough. Then after that we have to go through this nonsense. Scott Morrison should stop playing politics with people’s relationships and Governments should butt out of marriage. It’s nothing to do with them.”
What a pity most western feminist-influenced women don’t do introspection. Introspection seems to have gone the way of empathy.
And as for listening to what men say … pfff! As high-profile feminist turned MRA, Warren Farrell, famously stated “In our society, the sound of men complaining is like nails on a chalkboard“.
I would hardly be the first guy to have noticed that when I am out and about with my wife (and before that, my partner at the time) I attracted a level of obvious interest that rarely materialized when I went solo. In fact this phenomenon is so common as to generally be unworthy of comment. But I have never heard tell of the opposite situation, that is, women being hit on more often whilst they socialized in the company of a male partner.
Yes, ok, in some such situations it’s a matter of a woman flirting with a man because they feel comfortable approaching someone with a partner (and with no intention of taking things any further). In many other cases though it is undoubtedly a matter of the ‘thrill’ of trying to lure a man away from another woman, whether that be for a ‘one night stand’, or for a longer period of time. When such behaviour occurs it can be quite unpleasant for both the hapless target and his partner.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not holding myself up as a life-long beacon of propriety. What grates me about this behavior is that it occurs within a social context wherein feminists gloat about men being deficient in ways too numerous to mention (including having the morals of alley cats), whilst steadfastly ignoring any and all transgressions by women. Thus it’s not so much the moral laxity that irks me, it’s more the associated hypocrisy and denial that really ratchets up the ‘ewww!’ factor.
I came across an article that addresses this issue:
“The old proprieties surrounding marriage have been swept away by the aggressive ‘must-have’ attitude of an awful lot of modern women. The consensus, according to my friends, was that female emancipation – and the social, economic and sexual freedoms that have gone with it – have led to a liberal world in which nothing is sacred any more. Women are out for what they can get – and if that means another woman’s husband, then so be it. At a time when one in three marriages fails, the thinking seems to be that to ruin one or two more unions in your own pursuit of happiness won’t make much difference …
So, as the sanctity of the traditional nuclear family disintegrates before us, the worrying side-effect appears to be that many women today have few qualms about breaking up a marriage themselves …
What an irony that after decades fighting for parity with men, we women seem intent on turning our guns on ourselves.”
Nadia Bokody: Real reason women are attracted to coupled-up men (22 January 2023) Notorious feminist journalist paints men as stupid and egocentric whilst putting the nicest possible spin on female behaviour
The four words all women have used to get rid of unwanted advances (24 March 2021) But note reader MarkS’s apt comment: “Yeah, at least when you use “I have a boyfriend” blokes walk away. Far more often, creepy women reply to “I have a girlfriend” with “That’s ok, she doesn’t have to know. tee hee”. Somehow this is deemed acceptable behaviour, because women get a free pass on being creepy, and can claim victim status.”
A 2013 article (now removed from server) by a feminist author Alecia Lynn Eberhardt tells women how they should deal with approaches from men in nightclubs (“harassment” by “creeps” in her words). Then see the readers comments from the male perspective, plus further related discussion can be found here
The Shit Test Encyclopedia (14 December 2014) Word-search this doc to find references to “preselect” and “preselection”
Those of you who have spent time in Asian countries might have noticed a lot of western women reading books in cafes and looking somewhat bored. In various web sites and discussion forums one may read their plaintive cries about feeling “invisible” (e.g. Japan/China) and having trouble finding guys who will give them the level of attention they feel is warranted.
It would appear that most western guys in Thailand, for example, have little time for western women. Instead they appear to prefer the company of more feminine, laidback (and yes, often more attractive) Thai ladies. And cynics note that I am referring to Thai ladies in general, and not simply bar-girls.
I even read a post the other day where a female expat stated that she was tired of western men in Thailand “disrespecting” western women in the way they pointedly ignore them. Tragic, just tragic.
In my blog post ‘I thought women were meant to be more empathetic‘ I talk about the issue of western women in Thailand flaunting local dress standards. Is this ‘look at me! look at me!’ behaviour in response to the ‘attention deficit mode’ that many western women appear to descend into within days of arrival in Asia? Or is it simply a reflection of a broader attitude of ‘my need to indulge myself trumps your right to have local social mores respected’?
Why don’t Western men in Asian countries lift their game and jump at the opportunity of approaching western women? Oh wait, they have already tried that back home and were rewarded with looks of disdain or contempt – or even accused of harassment. I can see this is going to be a tough sell.
So what then, you might ask, is the current situation in western countries such as USA, Canada, the UK, and Australia?
Well in the West men are confused, for they are routinely dragged over the coals for alternately either paying too much attention to women, or not enough. Or about the right amount but they are doing it wrong. Oh, and the goalposts regarding the ‘right’ way are continuously being moved.
On that first point, readers would be aware of the surfeit of publicity regarding the unwanted looks and attention that women attract from men, and how such behaviour threatens and disgusts them (example here).
And then every now and then there is an incident that serves as a lightning rod and focus for demands for action. Let’s look at the example of THAT infamous New York street harassment video …
Horrifyingly common act against women exposed by text trend (26 October 2023) OK, so this one isn’t about talking – it’s about texting. But your face will be in your palm in 3-2-1. Say anything bad about women and you’re not just a misogynist – you’re frightening! Nothing even vaguely uncomplimentary is said about women … presumably perfect already.
Woman’s note to ‘cute’ plane guy goes viral (4 July 2023) “The bold flier told her followers that the sky-high story was proof that people should go after what they want”. No, not “people” … just women.
Twitter thread concerning a girl attending a gym who claims some fellow is watching her. Read the thread and you’ll note that the two main female characters featured in it – complaining about being harassed/objectified – both have OnlyFans accounts #FacePalm. Here’s the original MSM item (23 January 2023).
The Victorian Government (Australia) has issued a video highlighting the horror of women receiving unwanted attention on public transport, and – surprise surprise – calling on men to step in and deal with other men (9 April 2019). ‘Independent Man’ responds to this rather well with his own video.
Of course governments never step in and ask women to deal with other women who transgress one ‘rule’ or another, err like sexually abusing students for example. Because that would be hateful or misogynistic or something bad. Or something.
Unsafe in the City – A Tale of Five Cities, by Plan International (October 2018) This pro-feminist ‘study’ unsurprisingly completely ignores not just all the people who manage to remain safe in the city, but also both male victimisation and female violence.
“Why are the events like the mass groping at Cologne used as an example of how immigrant men pose a threat to “our women”, yet white Australian men acting in a similar fashion at a car show is dismissed as “boys being boys”?”
And this with no evidence provided – aside from two vague anecdotal accounts – that any man laid a hand on a woman at Summernats 2017. No mention, for example, of any actual police reports. In fact, I have been advised that in the entire 30 year history of Summernats there have been only two reported sexual assaults. And yet this being, allegedly, in a “similar fashion” to the outrage that occurred on NYE in Cologne? Talk about a reach!
These two pictures were both taken at Summernats, guess which one featured in Clementine’s article?
Breast enlargement remains the most popular procedure (UK) and in the United States too (2013). In fact if you want a good chuckle then google on ‘feminism and breast augmentation’ and see the fur fly as feminists who have had their chests packed with silicon try to rationalise their decision (“I did it for myself, really”). Of course you did.
See the readers comment by ‘Okrahead’ about the spandex ‘lady’ in the gym in this article
The new math of campus (5 February 2010) Aw gee, not enough guys to go around on campus … and that was 2010 and there’s even less guys on campus now! ROTFL! Take a bow, feminism
Men and women are individuals whose position with regards to interacting with other individuals is influenced by many variables including age, relationship status, sexual orientation, cultural background, etc. There is no ‘one size fits all’.
Men are criticized both for approaching women, and for not approaching women. Some women live for male attention, others want none, with the remainder happy to engage at the times, and in the manner, of their choosing. Oh, and an individual woman’s position may change on a daily basis and/or depending upon the perceived attractiveness of the male who approaches her.
As women do not hold up signs advising of their own particular preferences, even well-meaning men – who comprise the overwhelming majority – are in a constant state of uncertainty, unease and frustration. Maybe if all women could organise themselves onto the same page, and circulate universal guidelines, things might be different. But we all know that’s not going to happen.
Feminists stoking the fire of misunderstanding and paranoia between the genders sure doesn’t help things, and only serves to propel ever more men towards a MGTOW lifestyle.
Elsewhere in this blog you might be interested in reading:
