On masculinity and ‘real men’

Hyper-masculinity? Toxic-masculinity? What is this masculinity thing that is painted as such a blight on society?

But why is there is never any mention of toxic femininity when (to varying extents) many of the same issues apply? Just look at my posts on for example, female violence, lack of empathy, sexual abuse by women, and damseling and the shameless exploitation of male chivalry.

The articles below all address the concept of masculinity, alternately either from a feminist, egalitarian, MHRA or some other alternate position:

Well, America, Gillette’s idiotic ad may have finally turned the tide on ‘toxic masculinity’ (22 January 2019) USA

Masculinity isn’t a sickness (16 January 2019)

Traditional masculinity has been dubbed ‘harmful’ by a major health body (16 January 2019) with related tweet her

Psychology as indoctrination: Girls rule, Boys drool? (15 January 2019)

Barbara Kay: American Psychological Association declares masculinity an “ideology” (12 January 2019)

You can’t help men by attacking masculinity, by Dr John Barry (27 November 2018)

Male authority – Be a “Man”, by Rollo Tomassi (13 November 2018)

Brown University Offering Programs for ‘Unlearning Toxic Masculinity’ (25 October 2018) See related tweet from James Woods

The fact that we’re considering making misandry a hate crime should concern everyone who believes in equality (17 October 2018)

The mysterious invisibility of men’s good deeds, by Mark Dent (14 July 2018)

Feminism: Toxic Masculinity (26 June 2018)

Why men are refusing to help women and children (6 June 2018) Video (and also take a look at this Jim Muldoon article on the same theme)

How feminists developed ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (14 June 2018)

Rethinking Gender, Sexuality and Violence (25 October 2017)

Charts – Where You Fall on the Alpha / Beta Scale (9 October 2017)

Does the NRL have a culture problem? (13 September 2017) Video

Duke recruits men for program to fight ‘toxic’ masculinity (13 September 2017)

Houston Rescuers Prove the Lie of ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (1 September 2017)

Andrew Cadman: We are paying a high price for the feminisation of Britain (3 August 2017)

Delingpole: Too Much ‘Maleness,’ Complains Feminist Reviewer of ‘Dunkirk’ (2 August 2017)

We’re doomed and only women can save the day (20 July 2017) How men think of, and treat other men, is part of the problem.

SJW DYLAN MARRON GETS OWNED l Response to Unboxing Trump’s America and Masculinity l SJW Cringe (6 July 2017) Video

First police officer at London Bridge attack “was rugby player who took on all terrorists until forced to ground” (4 June 2017) UK

Study: Most Women Like ‘Manly’ Men, Don’t Worry About ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (13 May 2017)

The epidemic of sexless marriage is symptomatic of the modern emasculated husband (undated/2017)

The ‘Toxic Masculinity’ Trend Blames Boys For Being Born Male (12 April 2017)

Missed a spot, by Dalrock (1 March 2017)

Feminists wage war against romance on Valentine’s Day (14 February 2017)

Gender wars: Is masculinity toxic for boys? (9 February 2017) Reddit discussion thread and linked video

Toxic masculinity: Will the ‘war on men’ only backfire? (28 January 2017) Australia. Related Reddit discussion thread here.

‘Toxic masculinity’ is ruining men’s lives, by Corrine Barraclough (26 January 2017)

Dear Feminists, male vulnerability isn’t a virtue (3 January 2017)

Today (30 December 2016) I noticed two articles that took a now common approach of using/portraying generally positive attributes associated with masculinity (protectiveness towards women & risk-taking behaviour) in order to mock or criticize men:

Men are weirdly concerned about trans women’s use of female bathrooms according to new study and Drownings blamed on men’s risky behaviour

Male college students to undergo ‘critical self-reflection’ of masculinity (3 January 2017)

Feminist Prof: Cats are the solution to ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (15 December 2016)

To what should males aspire? (15 December 2016)

No Gender December: When did ‘gender’ become such a dirty word? (13 December 2016) Australia

The miseducation of young men, part 3 (9 December 2016)

Why women can’t complain about men (4 December 2016) Video

Masculine white men more likely to be mentally ill, says new ‘study’ (22 November 2016)

Why Colleges Should Stop Teaching “Toxic Masculinity” (16 November 2016)

The False Dichotomy of Feminist Ethics (11 October 2016)

‘Toxic White Masculinity’: What is it all about? (10 October 2016) USA

If gender is a social construct, why aren’t women ever accused of exhibiting toxic masculinity? (9 October 2016) Reddit discussion thread

What will feminists accomplish by defining masculinity as toxic and pathological? (8 October 2016)

This Woman Never Looked At Her Fiancé The Same Way After He Abandoned Her During A Violent Mugging: Toxic lack of masculinity? Reddit discussion thread and linked article.

‘Effeminism’ and the War on Boys (23 September 2016)

It’s not Muslims or people with mental health problems who are most likely to kill you in a terrorist attack – it’s men, by Janey Stephenson (28 July 2016)

Oddly, there has recently been other articles very similar to this one published in different countries, but with ostensibly different authors. See ‘What mass killers really have in common’, by Rebecca Traister (17 July 2016) and ‘One group is responsible for America’s culture of violence, and it isn’t cops, black Americans, Muslims or rednecks. It’s men‘, by Melissa Batchelor Warnke

And here is an MRA response to the type of article listed above: ‘The bizarre feminist response to Islamic terror in Orlando‘ (27 July 2016)

I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out (11 March 2016)

Joy of Masculinity (9 June 2016)

YouGov Poll: Only 2% of men aged 18-24 feel masculine (20 May 2016) UK

The Myth of the Masculinity Crisis (9 May 2016)

As a female college student, what can I do to empower my male friends who are (seemingly) very emasculated and don’t stand up for themselves? (9 May 2016) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

‘Masculinity isn’t toxic — our attitudes to it are’ (8 May 2016) UK

Violence in Men vs Women. Things aren’t how they seem (6 May 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Miranda Devine: Stop telling boys to act like girls (24 April 2016) Australia

39 Things Women Will Just NEVER Understand About Being A Man (14 April 2016)

Shaming Men Doesn’t Build Healthy Sexuality (9 April 2016)

New York Times: ‘Teaching Men to be Emotionally Honest’ (4 April 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here

Toxic Femininity and Heroism (14 March 2016) Australia

Female counselor says men are increasingly ashamed of their masculinity (28 January 2016) UK

European Queens Waged More Wars Than Kings (27 January 2016)

How the European male was turned by the feminist into a “WIMP, PUSSY, AND MANGINA”, is it on it’s way here? (25 January 2016)

European men now being criticized for their lack of masculinity (25 January 2016) Video

Although the vast majority of people who risk their own lives to save others are men, this BBC article doesn’t mention that this is mostly a male behaviour. Every time there’s a mass shooting or a terrorist attack, feminists blame “toxic masculinity”. Why they don’t talk about ALTRUISTIC MASCULINITY? (5 December 2015)

Audio: Karen Straughan’s brilliant lecture on “toxic masculinity and toxic femininity” at SFU (21 November 2015)

Question to feminists regarding “toxic masculinity” (29 July 2015) Reddit discussion thread

Male Definition of Masculinity Is a Surprise – Toxic Masculinity Debunked (2008) with reddit discussion thread here

Feminism’s Real Target is Masculinity (December 2014)

It’s time to do away with the concept of ‘manhood’ altogether (29 October 2015) Nauseating pieces penned by mangina journo for The Guardian, but which attracted plenty of reader’s comments

“Toxic Masculinity” is hate speech. Full stop. It pathologies maleness and attempts to link violence to men’s culture. Feminists discussing “toxic masculinity” is little different than white supremacists attacking “ni**** culture” and “black violence” Reddit mensrights discussion thread (15 October 2015)

‘Real men don’t hit women’: The big problem with Malcolm Turnbull’s anti domestic violence message (10 October 2015) Australia. I agree with the prolem with the ‘real men’ message, but much about this article is wrong, not least the assertion by Michael Salter that female violence only occurs in the context of self-defence, and that the fact that most people in jail are male is proof that men are responsible for most crime.

Salon blames Oregon shooting on ‘traditional masculinity’ (9 October 2015)

Are today’s standards for being a ‘real man’ leading to violence against women? (8 October 2015) Australia. But what of violence BY women?

How to stop mass shootings (2 October 2015) and related https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3n8xmn/new_from_milo_yiannopoulos_on_the_root_cause_of/

Vanderbilt Women’s Center to Lecture Men on ‘Healthy Masculinities’ (31 August 2015)

Masculinity and Violent Behavior: A Complex, Combustible Relationship (25 August 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Masculinity is more than a mask, by Christina Hoff Sommers (13 January 2014)

What would happen if no men showed up for work today? (17 September 2013)

masculinity

Further sources yet to be reviewed:

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=dx2xLaLHZocC&pg=PA215&lpg=PA215&dq=sociopathy+and+hypermasculinity&source=bl&ots=QVAdycmNbP&sig=mvQqp40-RZyqI1E3bF9Px4oAPEY&hl=en&sa=X&ei=BXd7VK7ZAsfh8AWm9YK4CA&ved=0CEoQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=sociopathy%20and%20hypermasculinity&f=false

http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=6760256&fileId=S0140525X00039686

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=sluqacUK9mQC&pg=PA300&lpg=PA300&dq=sociopathy+and+hypermasculinity&source=bl&ots=OayNvsrL8h&sig=c9B_araQjFku6qB7DU7IZlefCqU&hl=en&sa=X&ei=BXd7VK7ZAsfh8AWm9YK4CA&ved=0CE0Q6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=sociopathy%20and%20hypermasculinity&f=false

built_by_men

Further posts within this blog that may be of interest:

On being male or female (incl. innate differences, stereotyping and so on)

The Elliot Rodger tragedy co-opted as a feminist bandwagon

Men & women and their attitudes to marriage and parenthood

I saw two items about parenthood yesterday that got me thinking about a number of the issues I have written about in this blog.

The first item I saw was an article in The Courier Mail, entitled ‘Go forth and procreate sooner’ by Belinda Seeney (“We need to support women aiming to have babies earlier to beat age-related infertility”). The second was an ABC TV documentary called ‘Cherry’s parenting dilemmas’.

A distinguishing feature of both was the total lack of any mention of the role or significance of men in the topic under discussion. It was not that the discussion was gender-neutral – it was more like men were completely inconsequential. This is indicative of a society where the ongoing relevance or value of men in parenting (and in fact, generally) is increasingly under-valued. Another feature shared by both of these stories was the privileged western societies that formed their contextual backdrop.

Most readers would be aware of demographic trends now taking place in many western countries, including for example falling birth rates, increasing age at marriage, increasing age at becoming a parent, the rise in single person households, the rise in single parenthood, etc. I want to briefly mention a few other trends or developments that I see as relevant to this discussion.

  • Recent/current research that is increasingly showing the critical importance of having a father actively involved in raising a child, or conversely, the negative implication for the well-being of the child where a father is absent from the household
  • The Marriage Strike and the MGTOW movement, and the factors underlying both
  • Increasing influence of feminist ideology in western societies, and the consequent demonization of men, and negative discrimination towards them

Where do I see things heading ?

  • More and more women moving against feminist ideology and rediscovering the value and legitimacy of parenthood and therefore more women wishing to have children, and at an earlier age.
  • More and more women recognizing the value of having a man (or men) actively involved in the rearing of their children
  • More and more men discovering the costs and negative effects on them of parenthood and so avoiding parenthood for longer, or entirely
  • Continued or even worsening economic austerity making parenthood more and more unaffordable, particularly for single parents

So as things stand now, just as more and more western women are wanting to have more and more children, there will be less and less men willing to partner with them. This is not selfishness or immaturity on the part of the men, it is a rational response to both real and potential threats faced by them in relation to marriage and parenthood. We need to recognise and address those issues, issues such as bias against men in the family court system. If we fail to do so and the than those that will suffer most will be women and children. Yay feminism!

See also:

Researchers Blame Marriage Rate Decline On A “Lack Of Economically-Attractive Men” (7 September 2019)

Young women are turning their back on sharing wealth with their partner, survey reveals (22 July 2019) UK

Choosing not to have children? For women it’s empowering, but for men it’s juvenile (18 January 2019)

CNN Advocates Female Infidelity As Best Way For Women To “Endure” Modern Marriage (6 October 2017)

Laurie Penny: Why women are better off single (14 September 2017)

Clementine Ford: Why most grand romantic gestures are anything but romantic (12 September 2017)

Where the Good Men Have Gone and How to Get Them Back, by Suzanne Venker (22 May 2017)

‘There’s been a seismic social shift’: Why it’s now MEN who say they’ve been destroyed by divorce – while their wives are quick to bounce back (18 May 2017) UK

Nika Fate-Dixon: Are Some Millennials Rethinking the Gender Revolution? Long-Range Trends in Views of Non-Traditional Roles for Women (30 March 2017)

The day I put my wife in her place (20 March 2017)

Why are married women leaving their men? (14 April 2016)

Want to bump the birth rate in the West? Pay men (15  August 2016)

Cuckold Your Husband: The Raw Marriage Deal For Men (27 May 2016) A rebuttal to the article below

Women Are Now Cheating As Much As Men, But With Fewer Consequences (26 May 2016)

Why can’t he find men to marry the women he is teaching to have contempt for men? (11 May 2016)

Fewer women are seeking divorce as men behave less badly: Number of wives seeking split drops by half since the mid 1980s (27 December 2015) with related reddit discussion thread here

Feminist in ‘open marriage’ leaves husband for another man (17 November 2015) Included here mainly for the reader’s comments in the linked article

Are today’s women too picky for their own good? (10 November 2015) UK

Why you can’t find a man: Hypergamy Floats (12 September 2015) Video by Paul Proteus

She’s keeping her vow, by Dalrock (5 September 2015)

Post-divorce reality (11 August 2015)

“You’re just intimidated by accomplished women!” (10 July 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

Women’s Greatest Problem: The Myth of the Submissive Alpha Male (25 June 2015)

Petty things I do to get back at my husband (3 June 2015) Like spitting in his coffee? Ewww. As detailed in one of hundreds of reader’s comments

Single Motherhood, in Decline Over All, Rises for Women 35 and Older (8 May 2015)

How The Search For Love Fuels China’s Housing Bubble (4 May 2015)

Gender equality begins at home: empty the dishwasher, guys, by Judith Ireland (1 May 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread. And here is a more recent (Feb 2017) article on the same theme. But then read this article.

Spinster: how feminists celebrate being a selfish witch (24 April 2015)

When it comes to raising my child, a husband would be excess baggage (9 April 2015)

Ready for the marriage apocalypse? (8 April 2015)

How much should a husband share with his wife?, by Dalrock (6 March 2015)

Eva Mendes said you can’t keep a man (1 April 2015)

Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married (12 February 2015) Author pushes the standard line that men aren’t marrying because they are immature. More than 2,000 readers put her on the right track

How marriage would work in a free society (22 February 2015)

MythBusters (TV show) asks whether money makes men more attractive (8 September 2014)

I don’t want children but worry my husband is getting broody (19 May 2013) If consent to sex is given under false pretences is now considered to be rape, then surely the situation described in this article is fraud?

At home, women treat men as if they are barely competent (10 February 2015)

Or maybe it’s you (2 February 2015)

Marriage rates plummet – Projection of never-married rates to 2017 (12 August 2013)

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?: Gender Differences in Marriageability (8 October 2014)

Why women are rejecting “perfect” men (18 September 2014)

More grim news for carousellers hoping to jump at the last minute (24 November 2012) from Dalrock’s blog

All the lonely feminist spinsters (14 October 2011)

What women really want – money: Research finds women look for well-paid job first in partner (11 April 2011)

It might also be worth reading this article about gynocentrism to get further understanding of the ‘big picture’ that surrounds and underpins the above-mentioned issues.