On masculinity and ‘real men’

Hyper-masculinity? Toxic-masculinity? What is this masculinity thing that is painted as such a blight on society?

But why is there is never any mention of toxic femininity when (to varying extents) many of the same issues apply? Just look at my posts on for example, female violence, lack of empathy, sexual abuse by women, and damseling and the shameless exploitation of male chivalry.

The articles below all address the concept of masculinity, alternately either from a feminist, egalitarian, MHRA or some other alternate position:

Well, America, Gillette’s idiotic ad may have finally turned the tide on ‘toxic masculinity’ (22 January 2019) USA

Masculinity isn’t a sickness (16 January 2019)

Traditional masculinity has been dubbed ‘harmful’ by a major health body (16 January 2019) with related tweet here

Barbara Kay: American Psychological Association declares masculinity an “ideology” (12 January 2019)

You can’t help men by attacking masculinity, by Dr John Barry (27 November 2018)

Male authority – Be a “Man”, by Rollo Tomassi (13 November 2018)

Brown University Offering Programs for ‘Unlearning Toxic Masculinity’ (25 October 2018) See related tweet from James Woods

The fact that we’re considering making misandry a hate crime should concern everyone who believes in equality (17 October 2018)

The mysterious invisibility of men’s good deeds, by Mark Dent (14 July 2018)

Feminism: Toxic Masculinity (26 June 2018)

Why men are refusing to help women and children (6 June 2018) Video (and also take a look at this Jim Muldoon article on the same theme)

How feminists developed ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (14 June 2018)

Rethinking Gender, Sexuality and Violence (25 October 2017)

Charts – Where You Fall on the Alpha / Beta Scale (9 October 2017)

Does the NRL have a culture problem? (13 September 2017) Video

Duke recruits men for program to fight ‘toxic’ masculinity (13 September 2017)

Houston Rescuers Prove the Lie of ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (1 September 2017)

Andrew Cadman: We are paying a high price for the feminisation of Britain (3 August 2017)

Delingpole: Too Much ‘Maleness,’ Complains Feminist Reviewer of ‘Dunkirk’ (2 August 2017)

We’re doomed and only women can save the day (20 July 2017) How men think of, and treat other men, is part of the problem.

SJW DYLAN MARRON GETS OWNED l Response to Unboxing Trump’s America and Masculinity l SJW Cringe (6 July 2017) Video

First police officer at London Bridge attack “was rugby player who took on all terrorists until forced to ground” (4 June 2017) UK

Study: Most Women Like ‘Manly’ Men, Don’t Worry About ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (13 May 2017)

The epidemic of sexless marriage is symptomatic of the modern emasculated husband (undated/2017)

The ‘Toxic Masculinity’ Trend Blames Boys For Being Born Male (12 April 2017)

Missed a spot, by Dalrock (1 March 2017)

Feminists wage war against romance on Valentine’s Day (14 February 2017)

Gender wars: Is masculinity toxic for boys? (9 February 2017) Reddit discussion thread and linked video

Toxic masculinity: Will the ‘war on men’ only backfire? (28 January 2017) Australia. Related Reddit discussion thread here.

‘Toxic masculinity’ is ruining men’s lives, by Corrine Barraclough (26 January 2017)

Dear Feminists, male vulnerability isn’t a virtue (3 January 2017)

Today (30 December 2016) I noticed two articles that took a now common approach of using/portraying generally positive attributes associated with masculinity (protectiveness towards women & risk-taking behaviour) in order to mock or criticize men:

Men are weirdly concerned about trans women’s use of female bathrooms according to new study and Drownings blamed on men’s risky behaviour

Male college students to undergo ‘critical self-reflection’ of masculinity (3 January 2017)

Feminist Prof: Cats are the solution to ‘Toxic Masculinity’ (15 December 2016)

To what should males aspire? (15 December 2016)

No Gender December: When did ‘gender’ become such a dirty word? (13 December 2016) Australia

The miseducation of young men, part 3 (9 December 2016)

Why women can’t complain about men (4 December 2016) Video

Masculine white men more likely to be mentally ill, says new ‘study’ (22 November 2016)

Why Colleges Should Stop Teaching “Toxic Masculinity” (16 November 2016)

The False Dichotomy of Feminist Ethics (11 October 2016)

‘Toxic White Masculinity’: What is it all about? (10 October 2016) USA

If gender is a social construct, why aren’t women ever accused of exhibiting toxic masculinity? (9 October 2016) Reddit discussion thread

What will feminists accomplish by defining masculinity as toxic and pathological? (8 October 2016)

This Woman Never Looked At Her Fiancé The Same Way After He Abandoned Her During A Violent Mugging: Toxic lack of masculinity? Reddit discussion thread and linked article.

‘Effeminism’ and the War on Boys (23 September 2016)

It’s not Muslims or people with mental health problems who are most likely to kill you in a terrorist attack – it’s men, by Janey Stephenson (28 July 2016)

Oddly, there has recently been other articles very similar to this one published in different countries, but with ostensibly different authors. See ‘What mass killers really have in common’, by Rebecca Traister (17 July 2016) and ‘One group is responsible for America’s culture of violence, and it isn’t cops, black Americans, Muslims or rednecks. It’s men‘, by Melissa Batchelor Warnke

And here is an MRA response to the type of article listed above: ‘The bizarre feminist response to Islamic terror in Orlando‘ (27 July 2016)

I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out (11 March 2016)

Joy of Masculinity (9 June 2016)

YouGov Poll: Only 2% of men aged 18-24 feel masculine (20 May 2016) UK

The Myth of the Masculinity Crisis (9 May 2016)

As a female college student, what can I do to empower my male friends who are (seemingly) very emasculated and don’t stand up for themselves? (9 May 2016) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

‘Masculinity isn’t toxic — our attitudes to it are’ (8 May 2016) UK

Violence in Men vs Women. Things aren’t how they seem (6 May 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Miranda Devine: Stop telling boys to act like girls (24 April 2016) Australia

39 Things Women Will Just NEVER Understand About Being A Man (14 April 2016)

Shaming Men Doesn’t Build Healthy Sexuality (9 April 2016)

New York Times: ‘Teaching Men to be Emotionally Honest’ (4 April 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here

Toxic Femininity and Heroism (14 March 2016) Australia

Female counselor says men are increasingly ashamed of their masculinity (28 January 2016) UK

European Queens Waged More Wars Than Kings (27 January 2016)

How the European male was turned by the feminist into a “WIMP, PUSSY, AND MANGINA”, is it on it’s way here? (25 January 2016)

European men now being criticized for their lack of masculinity (25 January 2016) Video

Although the vast majority of people who risk their own lives to save others are men, this BBC article doesn’t mention that this is mostly a male behaviour. Every time there’s a mass shooting or a terrorist attack, feminists blame “toxic masculinity”. Why they don’t talk about ALTRUISTIC MASCULINITY? (5 December 2015)

Audio: Karen Straughan’s brilliant lecture on “toxic masculinity and toxic femininity” at SFU (21 November 2015)

Question to feminists regarding “toxic masculinity” (29 July 2015) Reddit discussion thread

Male Definition of Masculinity Is a Surprise – Toxic Masculinity Debunked (2008) with reddit discussion thread here

Feminism’s Real Target is Masculinity (December 2014)

It’s time to do away with the concept of ‘manhood’ altogether (29 October 2015) Nauseating pieces penned by mangina journo for The Guardian, but which attracted plenty of reader’s comments

“Toxic Masculinity” is hate speech. Full stop. It pathologies maleness and attempts to link violence to men’s culture. Feminists discussing “toxic masculinity” is little different than white supremacists attacking “ni**** culture” and “black violence” Reddit mensrights discussion thread (15 October 2015)

‘Real men don’t hit women’: The big problem with Malcolm Turnbull’s anti domestic violence message (10 October 2015) Australia. I agree with the prolem with the ‘real men’ message, but much about this article is wrong, not least the assertion by Michael Salter that female violence only occurs in the context of self-defence, and that the fact that most people in jail are male is proof that men are responsible for most crime.

Salon blames Oregon shooting on ‘traditional masculinity’ (9 October 2015)

Are today’s standards for being a ‘real man’ leading to violence against women? (8 October 2015) Australia. But what of violence BY women?

How to stop mass shootings (2 October 2015) and related https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3n8xmn/new_from_milo_yiannopoulos_on_the_root_cause_of/

Vanderbilt Women’s Center to Lecture Men on ‘Healthy Masculinities’ (31 August 2015)

Masculinity and Violent Behavior: A Complex, Combustible Relationship (25 August 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Masculinity is more than a mask, by Christina Hoff Sommers (13 January 2014)

What would happen if no men showed up for work today? (17 September 2013)

masculinity

Further sources yet to be reviewed:

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=dx2xLaLHZocC&pg=PA215&lpg=PA215&dq=sociopathy+and+hypermasculinity&source=bl&ots=QVAdycmNbP&sig=mvQqp40-RZyqI1E3bF9Px4oAPEY&hl=en&sa=X&ei=BXd7VK7ZAsfh8AWm9YK4CA&ved=0CEoQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=sociopathy%20and%20hypermasculinity&f=false

http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=6760256&fileId=S0140525X00039686

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=sluqacUK9mQC&pg=PA300&lpg=PA300&dq=sociopathy+and+hypermasculinity&source=bl&ots=OayNvsrL8h&sig=c9B_araQjFku6qB7DU7IZlefCqU&hl=en&sa=X&ei=BXd7VK7ZAsfh8AWm9YK4CA&ved=0CE0Q6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=sociopathy%20and%20hypermasculinity&f=false

built_by_men

Further posts within this blog that may be of interest:

On being male or female (incl. innate differences, stereotyping and so on)

The Elliot Rodger tragedy co-opted as a feminist bandwagon

On being male or female (incl. innate differences, stereotyping and so on)

This blog post remains a work in progress and for the time being simply consists of a list of links to external resources …

Female to male trans discover the reality of male privilege (February 2019) Video

The nature of sex, by Andrew Sullivan (1 February 2019)

“Sex differences in mate preferences, with women more set on earning capacity and men on physical attractiveness in the opposite sex, did not lessen in countries with greater gender equality” (5 December 2018) Link to Tweet

Men and women really do think differently, say scientists (13 November 2018)

Crossing the divide: Do men really have it easier? (20 July 2018) Interesting observations within the profiles of four people who transitioned from female to male

The Gender Equality Paradox (22 October 2017) Video

Stereotype that women are kinder and less selfish is true, claim neuroscientists (10 October 2017)

Jordan Peterson – Why Men & Women Are Very Different (26 August 2017) Video

Differences between Men and Women are Vastly Exaggerated (7 August 2017) Some interesting readers comments here

Bigger brains put men ahead of women in the IQ stakes, says research (2 July 2017)

Time to stop bickering and start understanding (4 May 2017) Addresses that popular line of attack against men … alleging that they are lazy with housework.

Mindfulness meditation helps women but not men, first study suggests (20 April 2017)

Social psychologist Roy Baumeister challenges bias (7 January 2017) Australia

Researchers’ sexism fears are putting women’s health at risk, scientist claims (29 November 2016)

Being A Man Is Harder Than You Think: 50 Men Explain Why (17 September 2016)

We Think Women Are Better People, But They’re Not (6 November 2016)

A PMS warning App (3 September 2016) Women have periods but men don’t. Some women experience mood swings and/or erratic behaviour prior to menses, which the people around them can better accommodate with due warning, for the benefit of all involved. This is sexist how exactly? Acknowledge an issue, manage an issue. PMS is not an invention of misogynists, it’s accepted as reality by most self-aware adults.

Feminism Is Its Own Worst Enemy (31 August 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here

Why can’t women do pull ups? It’s a culture thing (16 August 2016)

New study: working longer hours harms women, but protects men (23 June 2016)

Gender equity can cause sex differences to grow bigger (21 June 2016)

“Why we’re glad the Matildas lost against a team of 15-year-old boys.” (27 May 2016) Related Reddit discussion thread here

The Myth of Female Rationality – Part 1 (10 February 2016) USA. I love Bob’s description of his moderation procedure, this guy has a handy turn of phrase.

Feminism, sex-differences and chivalry (7 February 2016)

Queens (17 August 2015) Feminists have often stated that throughout history men have caused all the wars (cue: toxic masculinity). This study explores the notion that female monarchs are left prone to conflict that male monarchs

Men have better sense of direction than women, study suggests (7 December 2015)

Why Males Are More Violent (undated)

Guardian: “men are pretty terrible people” piece is half right (30 October 2015)

Machiavellian Thinking vs. Conventional Logic (8 February 2015)

We’re socializing girls all wrong (5 October 2015) USA

New Study: Testosterone Changes the Brain (31 August 2015)

New study reveals Australian women more likely to lie on social media than men (5 August 2015)

Testosterone increases honesty (2012)

Violence does not come naturally to men and boys (5 June 2015)

War Against Human Nature: 100% Failure (11 May 2015)

On differences in male and female humour (9 May 2015)

My cannabis induced epiphany about men and women (9 May 2015)

‘B-But Gender is A Social Construct’ (15 March 2015) Youtube video with related reddit mensrights discussion thread

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV): Women ‘More Patient,’ Less inclined to war than men (18 April 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread and linked article

Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s “On Women” (15 April 2015)

Multitasking is scientifically impossible, so give up now (2 April 2015)

A Biology Professor Mansplains Why Women Are Superior. No Thanks (1 April 2015)

Could Jesus have actually been a woman? (1 April 2015) Because men don’t possess qualities like humility and compassion – so says this feminist author

Are men inferior to women? Let’s check the data , by Christina Hoff Sommers (30 March 2015) Video

Men are violent: Wrote this email to professor in response to a misandrist passage in a required textbook (31 March 2015)

Five Stupid Clichés About Women That Are Mostly True, by Janet Bloomfield (30 March 2015)

5 things women do better than men, by Janet Bloomfield (1 April 2015)

Why men aren’t ‘stupid’ and women aren’t ‘crazy’ (28 March 2015)

Boys will be boys? Yes, neuroscience shows: New technology highlights differences in development (2 October 2014)

How Gender Feminism became the new Creationism (18 December 2014)

http://www.new-gallery-of-art.com/pdf/antioch/humsex/StraightMale/Testosterone.pdf

FEMININITIES –Toxic Femininity (20 June 2013)

Men are exceptional (16 October 2014)

The Evolution of Culturally-Variable Sex Differences: Men and Women Are Not Always Different, but When They Are … It Appears Not to Result from Patriarchy or Sex Role Socialization (13 September 2014)

Reddit/mensrights discussion thread about the lived experience of someone who has lived as both a man and woman (September 2014) Further readers comments can be found here

2006 Self Made Man: Norah Vincent chooses Female Privilege over Male Privilege (17 November 2013) Youtube video and related reddit mensrights discussion thread Woman lives as a man for 18 months to see what it’s like

Camille Paglia 2013 video interview

The Mars and Venus question (2 August 2014)

This Accidental Experiment Shows The Superiority Of Patriarchy (5 April 2014)

Why don’t women ask men out of first dates? (30 April 2011)

Men Have Emotions, But Women Don’t Listen (14 January 2009)

Gender differences in behaviour: Activating effects of cross-sex hormones (1995)

http://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/post/91199368447/claim-freeing-women-from-their-gender-roles-will-free

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi/10.1371/journal.pone.0029265

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/24/verizon-ad-tells-parents-to-encourage-girls_n_5526236.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/290ji7/because_men_who_dont_conform_to_male_stereotypes/

Academic paper on gender equality and gender hostility

Whilst this academic paper, entitled Gender equality and gender hostility, dates back to mid-2006, I just came across it today and thought it warranted a mention here.

The paper describes the results of an international survey of university students. Overall it found that there was a higher level of hostility towards men (HTM) by women than hostility towards women (HTW) by men. This was rationalised from a feminist perspective (for e.g. womens hostility was simply a reaction against hostility by men or reacting against patriarchal subordination, etc). There were however some interesting findings such as:

Yodanis and Straus (1996) found no correlation between men’s HTW and assault of a female partner but did find a positive correlation between women’s HTM and their assault of a male partner. That is, the higher the women’s HTM, the more physical assaults against a male partner reported. (p5)

More females (59%) than males (49.1%) agreed or strongly agreed with at least one item in the gender hostility scale. Thus, close to two-thirds of the women and approximately half of the men in the sample expressed some degree of gender hostility. Examination of more extreme scores reveals that 7.2% of females and 5.0% of males agreed or strongly agreed with four or five items, indicating that a noteworthy minority of participants reported a high level of gender hostility, with the percentage for women somewhat higher than for men. (p 16/17)

An increasing amount of research has found high rates of both physical aggression by women against male partners (Dutton and Straus 2005; Fiebert and Gonzalez 1997; Fiebert 2004; Straus 1999, 2005) and sexual aggression by women (Dutton and Straus 2005; Fiebert and Tucci 1998; Fiebert 2000). Research indicates that these women possess traits similar to men who are physically and sexually aggressive (Capaldi and Gorman-Smith 2003; Medeiros and Straus 2006; Moffitt et al. 2001). Prevention and treatment efforts need to be developed to address the attitudinal and behavioral characteristics of these women, including HTM (Medeiros and Straus 2006; Smithey and Straus 2004). (p26)

Importantly the paper stated that further study was needed to tease out the different causes of hostility between men and women.

There is also a place for more direct efforts to reduce gender hostility, especially as part of sexual assault and partner violence prevention. This will take considerably more information about the nuances of gender hostility than is now available because it appears that the problems women and men have with the other sex are not identical. If so, intervention efforts should target these yet-to-be identified sex-specific aspects of gender hostility. Another complication is that individuals who possess hostile attitudes about the other sex are not likely to be purely hostile. In a sample of females and males from 19 nations, Glick et al. (2000) found that participants reported both hostile and benevolent stereotypes and prejudices toward the other sex.

This will not be an easy task because we know little about the ways in which women evaluate men (Glick and Fiske 1999). Although more is known about men’s attitudes toward women, it is important that researchers learn more about women’s attitudes regarding those who are their “strongest foes and most intimate partners” (Glick and Fiske 1999, p. 534). This can help identify gender-specific interventions that are probably needed.

An increasing amount of research has found high rates of both physical aggression by women against male partners (Dutton and Straus 2005; Fiebert and Gonzalez 1997; Fiebert 2004; Straus 1999, 2005) and sexual aggression by women (Dutton and Straus 2005; Fiebert and Tucci 1998; Fiebert 2000). Research indicates that these women possess traits similar to men who are physically and sexually aggressive (Capaldi and Gorman-Smith 2003; Medeiros and Straus 2006; Moffitt et al. 2001). Prevention and treatment efforts need to be developed to address the attitudinal and behavioral characteristics of these women, including HTM (Medeiros and Straus 2006; Smithey and Straus 2004).

The 7.2% of females and 5% of the males who agreed with four or five of the five gender hostility items may be students who are more likely to sexually and physically aggress against dating partners and others. These extremely hostile cases are those most in need of help.

Men & women and their attitudes to marriage and parenthood

I saw two items about parenthood yesterday that got me thinking about a number of the issues I have written about in this blog.

The first item I saw was an article in The Courier Mail, entitled ‘Go forth and procreate sooner’ by Belinda Seeney (“We need to support women aiming to have babies earlier to beat age-related infertility”). The second was an ABC TV documentary called ‘Cherry’s parenting dilemmas’.

A distinguishing feature of both was the total lack of any mention of the role or significance of men in the topic under discussion. It was not that the discussion was gender-neutral – it was more like men were completely inconsequential. This is indicative of a society where the ongoing relevance or value of men in parenting (and in fact, generally) is increasingly under-valued. Another feature shared by both of these stories was the privileged western societies that formed their contextual backdrop.

Most readers would be aware of demographic trends now taking place in many western countries, including for example falling birth rates, increasing age at marriage, increasing age at becoming a parent, the rise in single person households, the rise in single parenthood, etc. I want to briefly mention a few other trends or developments that I see as relevant to this discussion.

  • Recent/current research that is increasingly showing the critical importance of having a father actively involved in raising a child, or conversely, the negative implication for the well-being of the child where a father is absent from the household
  • The Marriage Strike and the MGTOW movement, and the factors underlying both
  • Increasing influence of feminist ideology in western societies, and the consequent demonization of men, and negative discrimination towards them

Where do I see things heading ?

  • More and more women moving against feminist ideology and rediscovering the value and legitimacy of parenthood and therefore more women wishing to have children, and at an earlier age.
  • More and more women recognizing the value of having a man (or men) actively involved in the rearing of their children
  • More and more men discovering the costs and negative effects on them of parenthood and so avoiding parenthood for longer, or entirely
  • Continued or even worsening economic austerity making parenthood more and more unaffordable, particularly for single parents

So as things stand now, just as more and more western women are wanting to have more and more children, there will be less and less men willing to partner with them. This is not selfishness or immaturity on the part of the men, it is a rational response to both real and potential threats faced by them in relation to marriage and parenthood. We need to recognise and address those issues, issues such as bias against men in the family court system. If we fail to do so and the than those that will suffer most will be women and children. Yay feminism!

See also:

Choosing not to have children? For women it’s empowering, but for men it’s juvenile (18 January 2019)

CNN Advocates Female Infidelity As Best Way For Women To “Endure” Modern Marriage (6 October 2017)

Laurie Penny: Why women are better off single (14 September 2017)

Clementine Ford: Why most grand romantic gestures are anything but romantic (12 September 2017)

Where the Good Men Have Gone and How to Get Them Back, by Suzanne Venker (22 May 2017)

‘There’s been a seismic social shift’: Why it’s now MEN who say they’ve been destroyed by divorce – while their wives are quick to bounce back (18 May 2017) UK

Nika Fate-Dixon: Are Some Millennials Rethinking the Gender Revolution? Long-Range Trends in Views of Non-Traditional Roles for Women (30 March 2017)

The day I put my wife in her place (20 March 2017)

Why are married women leaving their men? (14 April 2016)

Want to bump the birth rate in the West? Pay men (15  August 2016)

Cuckold Your Husband: The Raw Marriage Deal For Men (27 May 2016) A rebuttal to the article below

Women Are Now Cheating As Much As Men, But With Fewer Consequences (26 May 2016)

Why can’t he find men to marry the women he is teaching to have contempt for men? (11 May 2016)

Fewer women are seeking divorce as men behave less badly: Number of wives seeking split drops by half since the mid 1980s (27 December 2015) with related reddit discussion thread here

Feminist in ‘open marriage’ leaves husband for another man (17 November 2015) Included here mainly for the reader’s comments in the linked article

Are today’s women too picky for their own good? (10 November 2015) UK

Why you can’t find a man: Hypergamy Floats (12 September 2015) Video by Paul Proteus

She’s keeping her vow, by Dalrock (5 September 2015)

Post-divorce reality (11 August 2015)

“You’re just intimidated by accomplished women!” (10 July 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

Women’s Greatest Problem: The Myth of the Submissive Alpha Male (25 June 2015)

Petty things I do to get back at my husband (3 June 2015) Like spitting in his coffee? Ewww. As detailed in one of hundreds of reader’s comments

Single Motherhood, in Decline Over All, Rises for Women 35 and Older (8 May 2015)

How The Search For Love Fuels China’s Housing Bubble (4 May 2015)

Gender equality begins at home: empty the dishwasher, guys, by Judith Ireland (1 May 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread. And here is a more recent (Feb 2017) article on the same theme. But then read this article.

Spinster: how feminists celebrate being a selfish witch (24 April 2015)

When it comes to raising my child, a husband would be excess baggage (9 April 2015)

Ready for the marriage apocalypse? (8 April 2015)

How much should a husband share with his wife?, by Dalrock (6 March 2015)

Eva Mendes said you can’t keep a man (1 April 2015)

Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married (12 February 2015) Author pushes the standard line that men aren’t marrying because they are immature. More than 2,000 readers put her on the right track

How marriage would work in a free society (22 February 2015)

I don’t want children but worry my husband is getting broody (19 May 2013) If consent to sex is given under false pretences is now considered to be rape, then surely the situation described in this article is fraud?

At home, women treat men as if they are barely competent (10 February 2015)

Or maybe it’s you (2 February 2015)

Marriage rates plummet – Projection of never-married rates to 2017 (12 August 2013)

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?: Gender Differences in Marriageability (8 October 2014)

Why women are rejecting “perfect” men (18 September 2014)

All the lonely feminist spinsters (14 October 2011)

What women really want – money: Research finds women look for well-paid job first in partner (11 April 2011)

It might also be worth reading this article about gynocentrism to get further understanding of the ‘big picture’ that surrounds and underpins the above-mentioned issues.

I thought women were meant to be more empathetic?

Empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Those banging the drum about how more women should be promoted to senior management sometimes seek to support their position with sexist generalisations about how women tend to be more ethical, collegial, empathetic, and so on and so forth.

Earlier generations of Australian women were mostly empathetic to a fault.
Nowadays perhaps not so much.

Empathy with the resident citizens of overseas countries

Some time ago I was reading the results of a survey of overseas travellers. It found that most travellers were disturbed by displays of cultural insensitivity by fellow travellers. Unfortunately the survey did not breakdown its results on the basis of variables such as gender.

This got me thinking about my own experiences living and travelling in Asia.

Thai culture is quite conservative but Thais will rarely inform tourists when they have crossed the border of social acceptability, unless they venture far beyond the bounds of decent behaviour. Expressions of polite conduct such as kreng jai – the Thai version of our ‘good manners’ – is highly important to them.

Mention Thailand and most people think of men behaving badly. And indeed some men do … as do some women. The difference is that those western men who misbehave tend to do so within touristy nightlife areas, in many cases within recognised ‘red light areas’. Their behaviour generally involves drunken debauchery within the confines of go-go bars or the like. There is nothing laudable about this, but at least the local Thai people in such areas tend to be inured to witnessing this type of behaviour. Outside these areas I have witnessed exceedingly few examples of western male travellers displaying overt cultural insensitivity.

In contrast I have seen many examples of western women behaving inappropriately outside the bar precincts. A common issue is that of wearing skimpy and revealing clothing in and around temples, and in public places such as markets or parks. This occurs despite the fact that any guidebook on Thailand clearly states that such clothing is considered unacceptable, as well as there being signs installed in many locations.

On this note I happened across the following comments by a female editor of an English-language magazine in Thailand:

“Then there is the trio of English lasses who were found wandering around Wat Phra Singh a few weeks back in their bikinis! It has nothing to do with cultural insensitivity or ignorance. It is just a willful refusal to give a crap. Their grandmothers would have taken a wooden spoon to their bottoms had they trotted into the local church dressed that way.”

I have never confronted anyone about this particular transgression, but from discussions in online forums the attitude seems to be “this is my style, why should I have to change to suit them?”, or they are old-fashioned/sexist and *they* should change. I have also noticed plenty of instances of western women exhibiting exceptionally intrusive, pushy and loud behaviour in public places (particularly for example during community events).

Anyway that’s what this correspondent has noticed in going about his daily business, but discussions with Thai women revealed some other issues. These were women who either ran businesses, or worked in other peoples shop-front businesses (not bar-related, I hasten to add). I must first explain that Thai women are generally in awe of western women, and in general there is no underlying animosity whatsoever.

One after the other these women told me similar accounts of their dealing with western female customers, and of their surprise, dismay and occasional anger at the rude behaviour they often encountered. This included body language (like eye rolling and pained expressions) plus clicking noises of annoyance, and rude gestures and insulting words.

As noted, these were just my own observations – what do others think? Are western women travelling overseas less inclined to observe and maintain local cultural decorum, than western men? And if so, why? Do you think it might it be related to an increasingly overdone feeling of entitlement, and of being beyond criticism/censure? That sense of feeling oneself to be a ‘special snowflake’?

Singer ‘Bjork’ clearly thought she was a very special snowflake indeed when she saw fit to assault this reporter at the airport in Bangkok. And here’s another western woman showering the Thais with empathy.

The incredible outburst that got this tourist jailed for six months in Bali (8 February 2019) And what a fine ambassador for Britain was this particular ‘lady’

And in another blog post we can see that some western women also behave in a racist and/or culturally insensitive manner when they are at home.

Some other incidents wherein which women display an absence of empathy:

Feminist, Chidera Eggerue, doesn’t have time to worry about male suicide (Tweet dated 14 March 2019)

‘Fight Club’ organized by teachers at day care caught on camera (30 October 2018)

Tourists facing 10 years in Thai jail over ‘ridiculously drunk’ prank (26 October 2018)

Video shows nurses doubled over laughing as World War 2 veteran dies (19 November 2017) USA

‘Who are they gonna believe, you or me?’: Texas prosecutor fired after drunken Uber tirade (14 November 2017)

When making a sandwich is a crime against feminism, by Miranda Devine (7 October 2017) The lack of empathy by feminists towards others is legendary – here’s another example

‘Poison Ivy’, 17, bullies ‘weak’ men into degrading themselves online before encouraging them to kill themselves (26 October 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here.

Women more likely to get angry behind the wheel (20 October 2016) UK

First-ever survey of the motivation behind disability hate crime (9 May 2016)

“Around half (49%) of all attacks were group based. Women were involved in most group attacks (men were more involved in lone attacks).”

Inside house of horrors full of dead pets including one dog still chained to its kennel in shocking case of animal neglect (5 May 2016) UK

Rotherham woman offered safe haven to troubled girls – then pimped them out (27 February 2016) UK

Woman pretended to have cancer to get money from her boyfriend so she could pay for plastic surgery (12 February 2016) UK

‘It was the worst flight of my life’ (11 December 2015)

Secret Service Agents: Hillary is a nightmare to work with (2 October 2015)

Anesthesiologist trashes sedated patient — and it ends up costing her (23 June 2015) USA

Russia jails three young women for WWII memorial twerk (27 April 2015)

Egypt investigating how tourists filmed pornographic video near Giza pyramids (8 March 2015)

American sisters deported for naked photos at Angkor Wat (9 February 2015)

Kiwi tourist smashed Buddha statue in Cambodian temple (14 October 2014)

Other sources related to women and empathy:

‘Bali bikini ban’ will help ‘transform mass tourism hot-spot’ (1 October 2018)

Charity boss jailed for stealing thousands meant for burns victims (13 June 2018)

I’ve Gotten Blown Off By Men So Much Lately That I’m Literally Questioning Everything (October 2017) Author displays total absence of understanding that men have been treated this way since forever (well before the advent of dating apps!) Welcome to our world darling. Reader’s comments scathing but accurate.

Stereotype that women are kinder and less selfish is true, claim neuroscientists (10 October 2017)

Newsflash: Less Yelling Means More Sex (6 September 2017)

Gender differences in empathy (27 August 2016) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

Oxytocin Has a Dark Side, Says This Stanford Neurology Professor (6 July 2017)

The Absence of Empathy: Understanding the Psychology of Sociopathic Feminism (26 March 2016)

“You’re gonna get hit. It’s gonna hurt. Accept it.” Lessons from Krav Maga (14 March 2016)

Social contagion: Women more likely to yawn in response to others, study says (2 February 2016)

Ringleader in Texas’ biggest sex-trafficking ring sentenced to life in prison (20 January 2016) USA. This is not a rare exception – many women are involved in the running of human trafficking operations like this one.

Health experts warn of dangerous trend as survey finds women self-criticise eight times a day (4 January 2016) Perhaps the most worrying thing about these research findings is how little of the self-criticism relates to the impact of a women’s own behaviour on others around them … it’s all me, me, me

A Plea to Women (28 November 2015) Australia

The Empathy Gap – Fiamengo File Episode 4 (3 September 2015) Video

Woman’s Hour and the lack of understanding or empathy (1 September 2015) Reddit discussion thread

The only two “Fairy Tales” you need to understand women (1 August 2015)

Why do women have such a hard time empathizing with men? (3 April 2015)

Are men inferior to women? Let’s check the data, by Christina Hoff Sommers (30 March 2015) Video

The angry men of the Internet, by Jasmin Newman (March 2015) Australia

Men are selfish, uncaring idiots (23 December 2014)

No, I will NOT wrap all the presents. Why are women still responsible for the holiday joy? (10 December 2014)

Feminist’s perverse game to misrepresent Anti-fem righteous outrage (Youtube video) 27 July 2014

Q&A: Women are nurturing? How about cruel, especially to one another (24 August 2002)

Sorry, Martin Amis – your kindly women can do cruelty too (16 July 2010)

Mom’s Abuse Makes Man Afraid Of Women (2 November 2010)

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/are_women_more_compassionate_than_men

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130408111841AAwBfyC

http://www.angryharry.com/Who-Is-More-Empathic-Men-Or-Women.htm

http://goingyourownway.com/showthread.php?638-The-Female-Psychosis-part-1-Egocentrism

Elsewhere in this blog see:

On being male or female (incl. innate differences, stereotyping and so on)

On privilege, respect, and entitlement

Mostly female perpetrators, so child abuse is a gendered crime then?

On violence carried out by women and girls