Click here for details of the ABC Q&A program – entitled The Family Violence Special – that went to air on 23 February 2015.
Feminists and their white knight allies raved about the Q&A program, unsurprising given that it was tailor-made for the feminist palate. I found it’s tone and content entirely predictable, and its contribution to the domestic violence debate largely unhelpful. The program’s focus – heterosexual men battering heterosexual women – was so narrow (in terms of the actual breadth of family violence – that it would have been more accurate to call it ‘The Violent Men Beating on Women Special‘.
A great deal of fuss was made about the fact there was a male compere and three men on the panel, but it did not make a lick of difference in terms of either the nature of material addressed and the manner in which it was addressed. The most significant thing about the gender balance of the panel was the revelation that ABC had pointedly turned down Dr Elizabeth Celi as a panellist. The details behind that move are addressed in Bill O’Chee’s article (linked below).
I just read the sentence below earlier today and, while it’s not specifically about domestic violence, it did remind me a lot of the Q&A program:
“The opposite of compassion is not hatred,” wrote one Florida prisoner, describing the violence he’d endured. “It’s indifference.” (Source)
ABC TV Q&A Family Violence Special – Question from Male Victim (24 February 2015) Video
Comment from Darne Blaik in the OneInThree Facebook page (24 February 2015):
“As a member of last night’s audience and I sat right behind Mr Coe I went home devastated as I realised the gender inequality within the DEBATE of DV is worse than I had originally anticipated. I left in silence and shock as I realised the when it comes to male victims of DV … they have no voice.
The rudeness displayed by the women in the audience towards Mr Coe particularly directly in front if him was disturbing, palpable and audible denigrating of this man’s experience could be heard. The notable agitation shown by Natasha was clearly evident and appalling for a person in her position.
Furthermore I don’t believe that the greater society do believe that men should be ignored. From what I am hearing, most people want NO ONE TO SUFFER DV NOT JUST WOMEN so why do male victims not even get a voice in the discussion. No one doubts that they are in the minority (but I would argue more equal statistics if you only take into account emotional and mental abuse and take the sexuality and physicality out of the statistics) HOWEVER WHEN DID START IGNORING THE MINORITIES IN THIS COUNTRY??? It is just not good enough in our sophisticated society, we need to be a shining light in the discussion of this appalling worldwide phenomenon that is DV.”
In addition to the comments contained within the Q&A Facebook page and Twitter stream, I would suggest reviewing the reader’s comments that follow the articles listed below:
We need to speak out for all victims of family violence, by Roger Smith (2 March 2015) Good concise article with many valid readers comments
Q&A slammed on Twitter for choosing more men than women to discuss family violence (20 February 2015)
Q&A tackles “Family Violence”, by Greg Canning (22 February 2015)
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/comment/jessticulate/jessica-rudd-family-violence-not-about-gender-20150222-13lmwt.html (23 February 2015)
Rose Batty heads Q&A panel discussion on family violence (23 February 2015)
http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/national/rosie-batty-launches-frank-and-heartbreaking-conversation-about-domestic-violence/story-fni6ulvf-1227236263041?from=google_rss (24 February 2015) with 235 reader’s comments
Q&A: Rosie Batty and Natasha Stott Despoja speak passionately on domestic violence (24 February 2015)
#NotAllMen Tweets Totally Slid Into Q&A’s Domestic Violence Special (24 February 2015)
Q&A domestic violence program ignored male victims, by Bill O’Chee (25 February 2015) Feminists should read and consider the comments that follow this article, comments like:
“Your comment makes me want to throw up. Not only am I a male victim of DV, I was also falsely accused of DV so that ‘SHE’could get an ouster order that effectively made me homeless and economically destitute. Because of HER committing DV, I lost my house and home, my business and income, my friends, cash, pets, car, and was introduced to the floor below the poverty line for a 2 year stint… I’m STILL here on this floor!!
My child under 3 (at the time) copped the biggest shock when HER greed and malevolence extended to the innocent and defenseless. The child’s outright rejection of HER as a mother had me playing defender from HER physical and psychological attacks with my child literally screaming “Don’t want mummy!” HER multiple, double digit bullying and harassment complaints against HER at HER work did nothing to convince he magistrate that something was very wrong as the court system swallowed HER lies, hook, line, and sinker and SHE played on societies expected role of her, the battered woman, when in reality, SHE is a rabid, sick werewolf dressed in Little Bo Peep clothing. A dangerous Narcissist by any standard.
The ease with which SHE has been able to manipulate the system, and lie successfully to the courts with breathtaking effectiveness, and the very keen willingness of police to accept HER “story” over mine for no other reason than I am male and here was violence involved, was a repugnant and contemptuous experience that no ‘person’ should have to go through. You should get your facts straight before posting such ignorant comments. Men ARE dying too, or didn’t you read that part? I’m not dead because of my child and my desire to fight this sexist idea that men are from hell.” ‘Roger’ (26 February 2015)
The ABC allows Feminists to use Q&A as a bully pulpit (1 March 2015)
Hi
I feel that theresis an incredible irony in suggesting to the feminists that they should check out the testimonies of men’s accounts on their experiences of Domestic Violence.
DV has affected me personally and I have a much better understanding of aggression (specifically verbal aggression/abuse) and emotional abuse.
And here’s the irony which I feel is at the core of the ‘Feminists vs the Male Population’ war that is often going on in discussions about domestic violence–
The following behaviours are some examples of Verbal/Emotional Abusive ways of communicating with another person or people:
*Dismissing anything a person says as though it is ‘unimportant’ or ‘does not matter’,
*Minimizing a man’s DV Experiences- Eg. Any person who has said something similar to the following: (often while quoting statistics)
‘..women experience domestic violence far more often than men do/oh yeah well how many men die each year from being killed by their female partners..?’ Etc. Etc.,
and/or
*Criticism- looking for and pointing out ‘faults’ or anything they perceive as ‘wrong’ in the things that another person says or does.
Sound familiar to anyone ..? :-\
Makes sense that these are some examples of Abusive behaviours.. I find it very odd that this info is seemingly NEVER promoted or mentioned publicly on mainstream TV programs or advertisements.
In terms of being on a ‘need to know’ basis, I’d class this information as incredibly important and relevant that I would believe would interest the public greatly- to know about this type of stuff ..?! 😉
(I meant to include mentioning that I have a much better understanding of aggression and abuse *now* compared to what I knew about it up until only fairly recently, since experiencing it led me to looking into and researching information on the issue/topic-
I decided that I wanted- no, NEEDED to understand the signs/symptoms of DV and what ‘abuse’ actually is, and what it means.
Now I know what abuse looks and sounds like, it’s much more easy to identify it- 😉 )