Much of the information in this blog post was previously included in an earlier post entitled ‘We’ve all heard of the gender ‘income gap’, but what about the ‘expense gap’?‘
The topic does, however, warrants its own post given that it is a significant issue in a number of regards, including:
- alimony represents a major financial burden which impacts primarily on men
- as the number of cases of men claiming alimony rises the divergent manner in which the media reports the issue is highly illustrative of enduring gender stereotypes
- the debate and political machinations surrounding alimony is a prime example of the extent to which feminist organisations oppose gender equality reforms that would benefit men.
The issue is also quite topical in the United States at the moment particularly in relation to the recently quashed legal reforms in Florida.
Both the terminology and nature of spousal maintenance/alimony varies from one country to the next, and even within the same country there may be significant variation from one state to the next. The primary focus on this post is the situation in the UK, Australia and the USA.
“It’s wrong and it’s extortion”: Halle Berry says it’s wrong for parents to use children to live a lifestyle they did not earn (9 February 2021) USA. This is mainly about child support rather than alimony, but it’s great to see some sympathy for men being expressed.
Camille Grammer Awarded Half of Ex-Husband Kelsey Grammer’s Retirement Fund (3 November 2017) See reader’s comments
Why do most men want their wives to help their economic progress, but not ensure anything in return? (12 June 2017) This thread looks at the argument in favor of alimony.
‘I’m NOT a gold digger’: The ex-wife vilified as a cold, cunning chancer after winning a huge rise in maintenance payments 15 YEARS after her divorce blasts back and says it’s all her ex’s fault (13 February 2017) UK
‘Divorced men doomed to life as a cash machine‘ by Martin Daubney (12 February 2017)
‘Reliable honest’ husband who handed his wife, 51, all of his ready cash in a divorce 15 years ago is told he must up her maintenance after she blows the lot on ‘unwise property investments’ (7 February 2017) UK
Wife’s Capability To Earn No Reason To Reduce Maintenance Awarded To Her (20 January 2017) India
Cancer center founder’s ex-wife seeks $400K/month as divorce trial opens (19 October 2016) USA
Men will only get equality in custody cases when women face some hard truths(26 August 2016) Ireland
“The family law researcher observed 493 judicial separation and divorce cases in 2010, which are ordinarily held in private. But she couldn’t find a single case where the wife was ordered to pay maintenance for children or a spouse, and had only seen the courts order joint custody in two cases.”
Don’t Blame Divorce on Money. Ask: Did the Husband Have a Job? (28 July 2016) Men, get ready for a triple whammy … employment redundancy->divorce->divorce rape/alimony (->suicide?)
A letter to … my wife, who won’t get a job while I work myself to death (2 July 2016) The flip side of this coin – the exploitation of many men begins long before they get divorced.
Supermodel Christina Estrada Wants Ex to Pay for Her $262 Million Lifestyle (29 June 2016) and she only gets 75 million pounds. Boo hoo! “The legal process had been “incredibly bruising and distressing,” she added.”
Father’s dying ‘wish’ voids woman’s divorce payout, say judges (11 June 2016) Australia
Are all women gold-diggers? (27 May 2016)
Johnny Depp protects $400 million fortune as he rejects Amber Heard’s request for spousal support in divorce papers (26 May 2016) No pre-nup … what were you thinking Johnny? And Amber, married only 15 months and already wealthy yet still feels justified in sticking out her paw for $50,000/month spousal support … ewww. Apparently she burns through $43,000/month (further details here). Hard on the heels of Johnny’s rejection of spousal support came Amber’s accusation of domestic violence (see here, here, and here) – but might this be a lie? Never fear, Clementine Ford knows who’s naughty and who’s nice (hint: vagina=nice). Alyssa knows he’s guilty too. So that’s at least two feminists. Jail the cad! And as for those women close to Johny speaking up in his defence – clearly, suffering from internalised misogyny.
David Hasselhoff No More Alimony!!! I Want to Retire (18 April 2016) Fair? Of course it isn’t – the word parasite springs to mind
Rosenblum: As times change, should alimony change, too? (25 March 2016)
Afeni Shakur And Whether Or Not Men Deserve Alimony (18 March 2016) USA
Divorcee wins 90 per cent of husband’s wealth in bitter court battle (14 March 2016) UK, with related Reddit discussion thread here. See Janet Bloomfield’s (a respected female MHRA) response to this judgement here.
Group pushes male-dominated S.C. Legislature to change permanent alimony law (1 March 2016) USA
Family court robs men and demeans women by splitting property equally when a marriage ends (6 February 2016) Australia
Report: NJ woman sued for writing ‘bum’ and ‘loser’ on ex-spouse’s alimony checks (19 December 2015) More on this case in this discussion thread and linked article
Even though 37% of women earn more money than their husbands, only 3% of divorced men receive alimony (30 June 2015) Reddit discussion thread
Divorce Math: She gets 60%, plus alimony, plus “child” support, plus probably attorney fees (April 2015) Reddit mens rights discussion thread
Jason and Amanda Dufner divorce after three years of marriage (31 March 2015) Amanda gets a million a year … for what exactly?
Forced to pay for a child that DNA proves isn’t his (24 March 2015)
Wife seeks more alimony over ex’s new lookalike girlfriend (20 March 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread
Former hippy wins right to claim ex’s post-divorce wealth (12 March 2015) The same court ruling is also discussed in this article (15 March 2015)
Are Moms Less Likely Than Dads To Pay Child Support? (26 February 2015)
Divorced wife told to get a job and stop living off her ex-husband (23 February 2015)
Why Do So Few Men Get Alimony? (20 November 2014) USA
Ex-wife of US oil baron to appeal $1 billion divorce award (13 November 2014)
Deadbeat moms? Should mothers be required to pay child support? (20 April 2014) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread
Jail Becomes Home for Husband Stuck With Lifetime Alimony (27 August 2013)
Veteran chooses jail over giving his disability money to ex-wife (17 September 2014)
Alimony is broken – But let’s not fix it (1 September 2014)
The New Art of Alimony (31 October 2009)
I just love how a “prominent family lawyer” recently emerged from the woodwork to call for new pre-nuptial laws in Britain: “Lady Deech said on Radio 4’s Sunday Programme: ‘Lots of young women these days are working, earning well, and would feel it extremely unfair if a young man who they marry and perhaps leaves them is going to take with him a sizeable chunk of what they have worked so hard for.”
Oh, extremely Baroness! Presumably you’ve silently observed countless men get fleeced over past decades, but now that some women have moved into the position of primary bread-winner in the family, it’s suddenly time to act. Oh and have a read about what happened to Ms Luckwell.
And now for a bit of male-shaming:
“Bristol’s rep David Martin slammed Meyer for seeking child support despite being a decorated member of the Marine Corps that has received the Congressional Medal of Honor. “My values are such that a real American hero doesn’t ask for child support,” said Martin.” (Source)
Now consider the gall/hypocrisy of this feminist journalist as she berates a man who obtained a court-ordered settlement upon divorce (+ related reddit discussion thread).