Male victims of domestic violence – some personal accounts

There’s a lot of men suffering the same Abraham, men are less likely to report it though. Its a two way street. I found it degrading after having my bipolar partner restrained by police to be put in an ambulance, that the literature given to me and having called the help line, that it was all geared towards women. Even the men’s help line, when called and told of being involved in domestic abuse, being questioned about what I’d done to abuse her.

You know when she’s off tap and I’m being pushed to the limits, I could just knock her block off, I can handle myself, if it was a bloke doing it, it wouldn’t even be an issue, but its a woman and mother of my children, I’m better than that. My kids have had to witness it for years, they even ask how i endure it without retaliating. But its my job to be their role model, not sport stars or entertainers. I stay composed, controlled. I was safer in Afghanistan or Iraq. It’s time for men to stand up and be more vocal. I’ll start it off.”

“Its not the violence although she has slashed my car tyres to stop me from leaving and has threatened me with a knife on many occasions. It’s the threats to kill herself, or ringing my work, or on many occasions showing up at work because I won’t do exactly what she asks. Several suicide attempts, what am i to tell my kids if I stay at work and she rings and tells me she’s taken an overdose and i keep working. The ambulance wont come on their own anymore when she loses it, the police have to come, because she is violent to the ambulance driver. I’d post videos, but I don’t want her identified on the internet. My kids have been embarrassed enough, they don’t need all their friends knowing.

I said I would start this off, all my friends on here know now, but no-ones going to use it to try get to me, most are smart enough to know better. Like I said if it was a male that was threatening me it wouldn’t be an issue, I did my time in conflict zones, I can handle myself. My pay goes into an account she controls, I get an allowance. I got my pay put into my own account awhile back and she went to our head office and made a scene, nearly got me sacked. So I changed it back to stop her going back. My boss has said to me how I manage to be early every day, get through my day and churn out a high standard work is beyond him. Never late, never take a day off, always try to be upbeat. I do what i do because i am my kids role model, not some sports star or celebrity, I set a standard, I tell them not to react, stay calm and I practice what I preach. (Source)

“I have encountered similar violence by a wife towards her husband and I can promise you, it’s no laughing matter. Especially when men are often brought up to never lift a hand up against a woman. Thankfully, they are no longer together, but she still has most custody of their beautiful little boy. She has gone out of her way to use the son to hurt him, but thankfully family, friends and even a judge has seen through her and have provided him with much needed support. He is a lovely dad who was snared by a vicious, vindictive woman” (Source)

Former Labor MP Kathryn Isobel Hay accused of emotionally abusing and intimidating her former husband over eight years (28 May 2024) Australia

Boyfriend beater didn’t think the law applied to her (January 2024) USA video

Male family violence victim recounts two-year ‘run-around’ to find support service in Victoria (27 April 2023)

Female prison reform boss is jailed for ‘worst case of coercive behaviour’ judge had ever seen (25 February 2023) UK

Domestic Abuse: Depp vs Heard. What did we learn? (1 December 2022)

The double whammy of being a survivor of domestic abuse who is blind and male (2 November 2021)

Woman, 44, jailed for beating her boyfriend with a dumb bell and a saucepan | Daily Mail Online (4 August 2021)

Abbey Clancy ‘punched’ Peter Crouch after baby got lost (yahoo.com) (28 May 2021)

Woman stabbed boyfriend and hit him with frying pan in row over sleep (15 February 2021) UK

Man, 35, whose ex poured acid over him as he slept reveals he ‘can’t pass one day’ without swearing at attacker (13 February 2021) UK

Dismissed, minimised and ridiculed: The harmful responses to male victims of rape  (30 April 2020)

Male domestic abuse victims seen as ‘under the thumb’ (21 April 2022)

Amber Heard hired P.I. to dig up dirt on Johnny Depp, but ‘fixer’ spoke to 100 people who all ‘couldn’t say enough about his generosity and tender heart’ (2 April 2020)

Amber Heard slammed for body-shaming Johnny Depp by calling him ‘fat’: ‘He looks much better after split’ (12 February 2020)

Johnny Depp and the dangers of ‘Believe Women’ (5 February 2020)

Image

‘I can’t promise I won’t get physical again, I get so mad I lose it.’ Amber Heard admits to ‘hitting’ ex-husband Johnny Depp (1 February 2020)

Stacey Dash – co-star of the movie ‘Clueless’ – arrested for domestic battery in Florida (1 October 2019) USA

Duluth worked even better than I expected (25 July 2019)

Florida woman, 21, ‘choked her boyfriend and squeezed his genitals until they bled’ (12 June 2019)

Mum hit boyfriend around head with crowbar after he dropped slice of pizza (23 May 2019) UK. Suspended sentence + 150 hours of community service.

Man stabbed in the neck in alleged domestic attack (15 April 2019) As others have pointed out, none of the articles about this incident used the term ‘domestic violence’ (as is now typically the case when men are injured or killed by their partners)

Male domestic abuse victims ‘suffering in silence’ (1 March 2019) UK

Doco reveals the horrific abuse man suffered at the hands of his controlling girlfriend (18 February 2019)

Nurse Michelle Fernandez banned after stab conviction (15 February 2019)

‘I was scared stiff and terrorised by my wife’: How more men are speaking up about being assaulted by their partners (28 November 2018) UK

Ken describes the abuse he suffered (27 September 2018) Video

Adelaide Hills woman runs man down in car (29 June 2018)

Glee star Naya Rivera charged with domestic violence against her husband (26 November 2017)

Sydney man stabbed in domestic incident (14 November 2017) Australia

Abused husband, 45, who suffered 12 years of beatings at hands of his hard-drinking teacher wife set up a spy camera to film her campaign of violence (8 September 2017) UK

Actor and domestic violence survivor Bryan Wiseman accuses police of homophobia (19 August 2017)

Abused husband reveals ‘drunk’ wife’s bloody car key attack (4 August 2017)

Domestic violence perpetrated by Australian women in the first half of 2017 (2 July 2017)

Actress Stephanie Davis arrested for ‘giving boyfriend Jeremy McConnell two black eyes’ in drunken row (4 July 2017) Reddit discussion thread and linked article

Fiancee stabbed me 28 times and left me hour away from death just weeks after asking me to marry her (27 May 2017) UK

Woman on the run two years after poisoning husband’s cereal to avoid having sex with him (6 March 2017) USA

SAPD: Officer issued bogus ticket to victim of assault to ‘f— him over,’ made racist joke (28 February 2017)

‘My intestines were out… and she was grabbing hold of them’: Man tells court how his ex-wife ‘tried to disembowel him with a carving knife’ (8 February 2017)

This is my story, as a male survivor of domestic violence (3 February 2017) Reddit discussion thread

Uptown woman arrested after kicking boyfriend’s face in front of police (17 January 2017)

Woman jailed for stabbing boyfriend because he ate all their chips (8 January 2017) UK

Woman spared jail for domestic abuse that left boyfriend in fear (20 December 2016) UK

Dad Abused By Wife Breaks Silence To Call James (9 December 2016) UK

First picture of designer boyfriend of arrested ‘Catwoman’ Jocelyn Wildenstein after she ‘slashed him with scissors’ and ‘poured hot wax on his face’ during late night brawl (8 December 2016)

The forgotten male victims of domestic violence (28 November 2016) China

Woman jailed for kicking her partner down the stairs (20 November 2016) UK

FIU’s Jonnu Smith out for season after suffering multiple burns (11 November 2016) USA, and here is one person’s comment re: that incident

A kiss for the wife who stabbed him 13 times (3 November 2016) UK

Businessman, 54, was branded with an iron and had pushed burning cigarettes up his nostrils every time he refused to have sex with his violent girlfriend (1 November 2016)

TV cop star arrested in domestic dispute (31 October 2016)

My wife emotionally abuses me … need advice (27 September 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Ex-husband of Labour’s domestic abuse Minister ‘still has nightmares about her’ after attack during divorce (25 September 2016) UK

West Virginian, 39, Put Out Cigarette In Her Boyfriend’s Eye, Police Charge (14 September 2016) USA

Furious bride-to-be, 24, bit her fiance’s ear and slashed his face with a broken glass (10 September 2016)

Women thought she was setting her ex-partners car on fire (7 September 2016) Video

Chalet holiday ended with drunken woman stabbing her boyfriend (4 September 2016)

ABC Life Matters story on male victims of domestic violence  (10 August 2016) Australia

Women on men domestic violence – Personal stories (24 July 2016) Video about a Chinese/American family

Woman charged after alleged reckless wounding (18 July 2016) Australia

Man writes about his controlling wife. Advice columnist rightly points out that if sexes were reversed, it would be labeled abuse (30 May 2016)

Wife Battered Husband Over Candy, Flowers (11 May 2016) USA

Domestic violence: Men are victims, too (25 April 2016) USA

Why are so many middle class wives beating up their husbands? FEMAIL explores why women are lashing out at their partners – and the horrifying consequences (24 March 2016) UK

Wife rips off her Romanian husband’s testicles with her bare hands (10 March 2016) Features this readers comment:

“Predictably the top comment is from a woman ridiculing the incident. He doesn’t sound a particularly great husband but would you have found it as amusing if a man had ripped off his wife’s breast because she wasn’t a good wife? Nope, didn’t think so. The comments here just show the gulf in society’s attitudes towards violence to men and women from the opposite sex.”

Sharon Edwards: Violent wife murdered lawyer husband (8 March 2016) UK

“The number of women convicted for domestic violence rose by 30% in the year to April 2015, from 3,735 to 4,866. It marks an upward trend – the number of convictions involving female perpetrators is now six times higher than it was ten years ago”

‘This is actually abuse’: My Kitchen Rules viewers slam Dee for ‘bullying’ husband Tim and tell him to divorce his domineering wife as #SaveTim trends online (1 March 2016) Australia. I have noticed a general pattern with these ‘reality’ style TV shows of women quite often being abusive towards male companions or male contestants in a way that would cause public outrage if the genders were reversed.

The dangers for men in domestic violence, by Jasmin Newman (8 February 2016) Australia

Police: Woman beat man with belt for not getting out of bed (4 February 2016) USA

Cops: Iowan, 33, Battered Husband When He Declined Her Request To Have Sex (25 January 2016) USA

Cops: Woman Attacks Fiancé Over Recycled Ring (13 January 2016) USA

Man’s girlfriend first ‘keys’ his car, breaks a window, and then tries to drive into him (9 January 2016) Video. USA

Statistics and stigma: The silence around men and domestic violence (24 November 2015) Australia

A Logan woman said she was not diminishing the problem of domestic violence against women, but wanted people to know that men also suffered abuse (24 October 2015)

False accusations preventing men from reporting domestic abuse – study finds (28 September 2015) UK

“The number of women convicted of perpetrating domestic abuse has more than quadrupled in the past ten years from 806 in 2004/05, to 3,735 in 2013/14”

‘Domestic violence against men is no laughing matter’: Lottery winner calls for protection of victims as he speaks out after being attacked by his former girlfriend (5 October 2015) UK

Men and their children, forgotten DV victims (21 September 2015) Australia with related reddit discussion thread here.

Man stabbed in head and leg during domestic fight in NSW (21 September 2015)

A Critique of Feminism: A Humanitarian Won’t be Silenced about Sexual and Domestic Violence (24 August 2015)

Submission #424 to the Victorian Royal Commission into Family Violence (28 May 2015)

Submission #757 to the Victorian Royal Commission into Family Violence

John Humphrys challenges Alison Saunders over ‘Violence Against Women & Girls (Crime Report)’ (25 June 2015)

We need to help individual victims of domestic abuse, whatever their gender (22 June 2015)

‘I had always been scared of my mum’: Breaking the cycle of violence (19 June 2015) Australia

Personal accounts by abused men (June 2015) Australia

Fine for throwing mug, butter knife at boyfriend (29 April 2015)

SA court told wife stabbed her husband, in front of sleeping son, after sexually complex relationship (28 April 2015)

Auburn woman who tortured family for years gets life in prison (20 April 2015)

Home violence not just at the hands of men (28 March 2015)

Jealous ex of footballer Erik Walden leaves their two children alone in car and breaks into his home threatening him and girlfriend with loaded gun before attacking them with bat and knife (21 March 2015)

Scalded husband: ‘No shame’ for male domestic abuse victims (13 March 2015) also covered in this Huffington Post UK article

We need to speak out for all victims of family violence, by Roger Smith (2 March 2015)

‘I’m a big, strapping bloke. Who would believe I was a victim of domestic abuse?’ (26 February 2015)

Woman mauled boyfriend with kitchen roll holder after penis prank backfired (19 February 2015)

Male victims of domestic violence (17 February 2015) Video

Columbia University professor who teaches peacekeeping skills to cops, firefighters is charged with assaulting boyfriend (17 February 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread

GF has started getting violent on me. I left her today after she beat me. People’s reactions have been insane (8 February 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread)

The day my wife beat me up because she hated my haircut (26 January 2012)

Reddit men’s rights discussion thread created by a male victim of domestic violence (16 December 2014)

Male domestic abuse victim: I could have died after attack and Male domestic abuse victim: Men are scared to come forward (5 December 2014)

http://www.shrink4men.com/2014/10/05/in-his-own-words-scenes-from-an-abusive-marriage/

Man stabbed 13 times by girlfriend says she had history of attacking him (1 August 2014) USA

25 men subject to domestic abuse tell their stories (28 May 2014)

Enraged: Victoria Police’s response to violence towards men (February 2014)

The personal stories of two Victorian men

Good Op-Ed from a Norwegian newspaper about domestic abuse (1 September 2014)

Domestic violence: Male victim tell of wife’s abuse (15 June 2014)

Irish TV feature on male victims of domestic violence (June 2014)

My wife hugged me to say sorry for beating me up… then knifed me in the back (13 January 2011)

https://mencanbeabusedtoo.wordpress.com/ (also includes some comments about Elizabeth Broderick, former Australian Sex Discrimination Commissioner)

http://www.theshedonline.org.au/discussions/lifestyle-family-and-relationships/abusive-wife

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2bxo3w/domestic_violence_and_scottish_law/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Jackson man stabbed during child custody dispute (missing words = domestic violence) (21 August 2014)
http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ir6aa/excellent_post_about_women_harmlessly_hitting_men/

In a comment he contributed to this article, Chad Tindale wrote:

“Police were once called because my girlfriend, at the time, was stabbing the bathroom door (behind which I was locked) with a knife. When the police arrived, she was still drunk, and still holding the knife. They told us to keep it down so that they didn’t have to come back… then they left me there… with her… with the knife. You’re not a hero when you rescue a man from a woman, so it’s often just easier to leave them there… leave them with her… with the knife.”

Men Aren’t Victims (Because Women Say So) (29 December 2014) and related Reddit mensrights discussion thread

Young people and domestic violence (2001) This government study includes an interesting comparison of the number of children who have witnessed dad hitting mum, and vice versa (incl. Table 4.23)

Sex education … the fanciful one-sided woke mirage that’s now presented as wisdom & truth

I came across an article this week in an Australian pro-feminist media source known as ‘The Conversation’. It was entitled ‘Netflix’s Sex Education is doing sex education better than most schools‘ (11 November 2021).

Whilst that paper was the final trigger that led to me writing this post, the primary motivation was the seemingly endless stream of articles about sex and relationships by (invariably female) media columnists that preceded it.

At the outset let me state that I am not any kind of expert on the subject. Not at all. My only qualifications are being a male who’s had a reasonable amount of life experience, and being the father of a teenage boy about whose future welfare I’m deeply concerned.

Hands up who has read those articles about sex-related matters like consent, relationships, pornography and men’s (alleged) ignorance and many (alleged) psychological and physical failings in the bedroom. Just to provide an Australian example, think Nadia Bokody. And there is another one, but I can’t think of her name. [Several hours later: Oh, I remember, it’s Jana Hocking]. Both of whom, as an aside, have blocked me on Twitter – although that’s par for the course.

The annoying thing about these columns is their multitude of false statements and false assumptions, and their persistently negative views on men and masculinity.

That, and the fact that:

  • there is never a corresponding male perspective – other than a ‘white knight’ or male feminist perspective – presented to readers, and
  • the many real and potential negatives for males – of partaking in anything along the hook-up – courtship – marriage continuum are conveniently overlooked. Things like the threat of false accusations, revenge porn, paternity fraud and financial exploitation, bullying/abuse, rape, and so on and so forth.

In my experience at least, the current crop of female columnists tend to be extremely one-sided … to the point of either being deliberately misleading and/or being woefully ignorant of real-world relationship matters outside their own particular clique. They also rarely – and I think I’d almost go as far as to say, never – identify corresponding failings on the part of women. Well, other than in getting physical with all those wretched, exploitative and ungrateful men.

The fact that most of their social media posts now (deliberately) do not permit readers to post comments, suggests that many others are also fed up with their offerings.

Just a few points or examples … such columnists invariably state, assume and/or infer that:

  • All women/girls like or dislike or expect the same things as per other women/girls (and that individuals are consistent with respect to the nature of their own likes/expectations)
  • When men cheat (allegedly that’s relatively often) they are pigs whereas women rarely cheat, and when they do it’s usually their partners fault
  • Women/girls are knowledgeable about not just their own bodies, but also about men’s bodies and their sexuality
  • Women/girls express their views clearly and often, but they are deliberately ignored or disregarded by their male partners
  • Women clearly and truthfully express their views with regards to providing consent for sexual activity, and don’t often change their minds during the ensuing hours (if not minutes)
  • Women don’t just expect, but like, men to ask them for their consent at each stage of engaging in sexual activity

All of which I would place in the ‘Easter Bunny is real’ category … aka, nonsense.

Further, these online messengers of the matriarchy send a clear message that men are *lucky* to be chosen as sexual partners. And that if only they were better at doing whatever they are meant to be doing, then heaven awaits. And their ‘proof’ that women have their ‘act together’ in the bedroom? That’s because significantly more men orgasm than do women. Wow. I always thought that was simply reflective of men’s greater ability to close their eyes and imagine that they were with someone desirable.

Oh please! Hands up guys, putting aside the brief and very temporary relief of sexual hunger, how lucky do you feel when *it* occurs? Is sex that great for you? How many times, at the end of the day, do your sexual encounters – all factors considered – rate as even a net positive experience? And if you could travel back in time, how many encounters would you readily opt to excise … and simply skip to good coffee and hot shower?

One of the things that the matriarchal mouth-pieces conveniently neglect to mention is (for example) the proportion of women who won’t not have sex unless they are drunk. And it’s not unusual for women to readily admit this to their suitor. This might be their response to a buffet of hang-ups, and/or them being so awash with guilt/shame about just the thought of it.

I suspect that a primary reason for drinking is that, if/when their post-coital mood changes, they feel not merely justified – but comforted – in thinking (or even telling others) that they only did ‘it’ because they were drunk. Or more often, because ‘the guy got me drunk’. Or they can up-size their night out and call it drink-spiking. And then not only is shame/blame hoovered away, but sympathy is almost certain to be on-tap.

And those fellows who happily oblige the ladies, get to share a bed with a drunk – with all that that often entails (think: up-ended klutzy turtle that’s prone to vomit). But more importantly, those *lucky* men are then wading into quicksand with regards to the possibility of facing false accusations of abuse and/or rape – as well as their own feelings of concern and/or regret.

Am I alone in this regard, with views such as these? Feel free to let me know what you think. I could delve into considerable further detail in this post but currently at least, find myself shyly reluctant to do so.

Some other related internet articles/papers:

Escort reveals why most Aussie men are bad at sex (13 July 2024) And Aussie women are knowledgeable, communicative and competent at sex. What a sexist farce

‘Shameful’ yet common secret of women revealed (27 June 2024) Well, they say even a broken clock is correct once every 24 hours. Jana admits that women cheat as much as men

But on the other hand … men need to try to stop giving women dating advice (14 June 2024) Video. 

Husband’s ‘evil’ act exposes why women are leaving marriages (10 January 2024) And as usual, exactly 0% of responsibility for the ‘problem’ is attributed by the MSM to the actions & attitudes of women. Do you think this might be part of the problem?

Why Men don’t write about Sex and Dating (31 March 2023)

‘My partner keeps asking me what I like in bed – I don’t know what to tell him’ (3 March 2023) Finally, a sex article that’s honest in admitting that women don’t/can’t communicate their preferences even when asked to do so.

Nadia Bokody reveals weird sex lies men tell themselves (18 June 2022) Enough of this sexist nonsense

Nadia Bokody: Sex question you should never ask your girlfriend (22 May 2022)

Nadia Bokody: Lie men tell about ‘kinky’ sex (24 April 2022) Because women with a penchant for violence don’t exist, right? Any apparent exceptions to be explained with ‘the men made them do it’ or ‘they only did it to please a man’ lines.

Jana Hocking on why sober dating is the best way to find the one (24 February 2022) “Simple trick that won’t lead to bad sex” reads the online link to this item. How it might well read is ‘Female dating strategy that leads to false accusations of drink-spiking and/or sexual assault’

Nadia Bokody: ‘If this makes you awkward, you’re bad at sex’ (18 February 2022)

“And because I know someone is going to protest, “Why are you demonising men?! Women can be creeps, too!” it should be noted I’m not suggesting otherwise. However, it would be folly to treat these as comparable issues”.

Damn right it’s not comparable. Police/friends/whoever are not going to believe the male if he (or she) claims sexual assault!

Nadia Bokody: Sex act women don’t like men doing (18 December 2021) So women don’t say what they want (or don’t want) in bed but it’s men fault because …

‘Hardballing’ is the new dating trend that both scary and great (16 December 2021) From #BelieveWomen to #MeToo in one easy step

Nadia Bokody: Hilarious sex post angering men (11 December 2021) Hands up how many men found this piece hilarious? And don’t even think about the response you would get from female readers were you able to publish something poking fun at women.

The brutal truth about women and cheating (12 July 2019) Women suggesting ways to change & spice up the sex? Sure that occurs occasionally, but I’d suggest that usually it’s a matter of silence & negative/defensive reaction when such a suggestion is made by the guy.

Some related posts in this blog:

No place for feminist propaganda in our schools or universities

On boys and education

How men are portrayed … Haw Haw Haw! The jokes on us

On false accusations by women/girls against men/boys

On sexual assault and unwanted sex

Australia’s E-Safety Office: A potentially sound initiative now awash with feminist kool-aid

What finally prompted me to write this post was a tweet issued by the Australian Human Rights Commission yesterday about ‘Scam Awareness Week’, with an associated forum apparently being run by a group called the eSafety office.

I mean to say, imagine an agency heavily funded by tax-payers (predominantly male) to support and protect all Australians, but which devotes the overwhelming majority of its efforts on services for women/girls … sounds like a potentially scam-rich environment to me. And who better qualified to champion such a model than the #AHRC?

The Office of the Children’s eSafety Commissioner was opened on the 1 July 2015, with an initial budget allocation of $2.4 million per annum. My, my, how it has grown since. They described themselves in the following manner:

“The Office of the Children’s eSafety Commissioner is a one-stop-shop for online safety. The Office provides Australians a range of up-to-date information and resources, coupled with a comprehensive complaints system to assist children who experience serious cyberbullying.” Sounds good so far.

“The eSafety Commissioner (eSafety) is Australia’s national independent regulator for online safety” (Source). Their mission is to “safeguard Australians at risk from online harms“. Not ‘women’ mind you, but ‘Australians’. The key legislation that it operates under is the Enhancing Online Safety Act, 2015, but in its Plan it’s noted that its “remit has been broadened since our establishment four years ago” (p3). I’d suggest that perhaps it’s narrowed, in fact.

eSafety is an independent statutory office supported by the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA). It’s budget, courtesy of Australian tax-payers, is considerable. This year, for example, their allocation includes $21 million for “a women’s online package” (Source).

ACMA/eSafety currently reports to the Hon. Paul Fletcher MP, Minister for Communications, Urban Infrastructure, Cities and the Arts.

The e-Safety Strategy doesn’t seem to hammer home a strong bias towards barracking for women/girls versus men and boys – just a few mentions re: gender – in fact. Under ‘Programs’ for example it mentions the provision of support for “those who are most susceptible to online harm. These include women experiencing domestic violence …” (p8). And men experiencing domestic violence aren’t harassed online? Oh, sorry, I digress. The Plan also notes that “in 2017 parliament expanded our remit to all Australians” (p12).

Now let’s briefly look, mainly with reference to their web site and primary Twitter account (@eSafetyOffice), at what the Commission actually does nowadays. And how it interprets the term “all Australians“. A good place to start is the e-Safety women’s page … because “all women have a right to be safe online“. And no, there isn’t an e-Safety men’s page. I’d suggest browsing the women’s page now, before continuing with this post.

See, for example, the paper entitled ‘Lifeline or weapon? How technology is used to control and silence women‘ (7 September 2021) which is one of the listed papers and media releases with a gender focus. Nowhere is mention made of women as perpetrators and/or males as victims, and that’s not because such folk constitute rare aberrations. It’s essentially because of the pervasive , and largely unchallenged, influence of feminist ideology. Minister, are you awake?

Next you might perhaps take a look at ‘Understanding the attitudes and motivations
of adults who engage in image-based abuse
‘ (12 September 2019). More than 50 mentions of the term ‘men’ here, but all such references relate to portraying men as perpetrators of abusive behaviour and/or as attendees of behaviour change programs. No women are presented in this manner – not one. And yet – reverting to real life now – look at the significant number of court appearances of women for ‘revenge porn’ – targeting both men and other women (examples here).

eSafety

What follows now are some snippets of information drawn from the 2020/21 annual reports for the ACMA and eSafety:

The word ‘women’ appears 62 times in the report whilst ‘men’ appears 0 times.

The gender ratio of Authority members who are male/female is 2:7, and the gender ratio of Executive Management members who are male/female is 1:6.

The annual base salary of the (female) CEO = $344,631, and the annual base salary for nominated ‘Key Management Personnel’ = $2,656,056 (this group includes seven females and one male).

The budgeted revenue from government for ACMA/eSafety in 2020/21 was $100,615,000 (p161 of Annual Report)

In the ‘Commissioner’s Foreword’, the number of references to men/boys was 0 (p201 of Annual Report), whereas in ‘Our year at a glance’, the number of references to men/boys was 0 (p204 of Annual Report)

(Update 7 July 2022: A must-read article by Bettina Arndt)

Finally, I’ll now run through the corresponding programs and consultancies that the Office thoughtfully provided specifically for the assistance of men and boys …

<the sound of crickets chirping>

Oh, and news just to hand, the eSafety Commissioner’s contract has just been extended for a further five years.

Thank goodness, presumably that means there’ll be more time to reach out and help women like this:

Influencer slams ‘jealous women’ for posting ‘hate comments’ (11 March 2022)

And I’m thinking ‘Wow, how one-sided is this?’ … Online misogynistic content and harmful algorithms drive new anti-domestic violence push (16 June 2024) Misandry? Effect on girls? Witness the feminist frenzy that’s happening here

Some other relevant posts in this blog:

Regarding online harassment

Fudging the figures to support the feminist narrative

Australian taxpayer funded organisations that do little/nothing for men (other than demonising them)

 

Was there a surge in domestic violence during the Covid-19 pandemic?

Since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic the feminist lobby claimed that there had been a surge* in domestic violence. (*Note that the term ‘surge’ has been well and truly overtaken, more recently by ‘staggering increase‘ or ‘driving a spike‘, etc). This trend has manifested itself across several countries, with the UN Women agency being a significant player. UN Women has produced guidelines in relation to gathering data about domestic violence against women.

The feminist lobby has linked this alleged increase in violence to, in particular, the common practice of governments requiring people to quarantine in their own homes. The proof offered to support the feminist position has primarily been claimed to be significant increases in call volume to DV help-lines (largely operated by feminist NGO’s). There have also been similar claims made in relation to alleged increases in traffic to web sites dealing with the welfare of victims of DV.

In only one of the media articles I read, prior to uploading this post, was reference made to an increase in the number of calls to police. This did not relate to increases in the number of charges laid, nor punishments meted out, but rather to queries made by people concerned about a perceived threat of DV.

I would suggest, as have others, that domestic violence is the feminist lobby’s primary cash-cow. Consider too, for example, the salary of DV agency bosses such as Sandra Horley, who is reported to receive a remuneration package of more than £210,000. The British Prime Minister is currently paid approx. £155,000.

To base government policy, even just one-off hand-outs of public money, on unverified allegations, is at best naïve. And when such claims are being provided by individuals with a vested interest in promoting a public view of a problem that they assert to be large & growing. Well, one might label such vested interest ‘ideological bias’, ‘pecuniary interest’, or worse as per the flow-chart below (Source). But whatever you call it, it is by no means competent, objective, unbiased research.

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It is particularly annoying that whilst the feminist-saturated domestic violence industry is loudly proclaiming a jump in violence in the home, they are maintaining their silence with respect to the reality of female-perpetrated assaults/abuse of men and children.

The other galling issue, although unrelated to Covid-19, is that I have belatedly learnt that, in the UK, the rate of women being killed by their partner was now at a 40 year low (Source). You would think that this would be shouted from the rooftops, wouldn’t you? Well, unless people sought to maintain perception of a growing epidemic. One that desperately demands further public funding. More please, sir!

Sickeningly, the feminist lobby have recently, begrudgingly, admitted this fall in the number of female victims. But, wait for it, they say it’s only occurred as a result of women being unable to flee due to Covid lockdowns – and hence male partners don’t become enraged and kill them (Source).

Finally, “William Collins’ recently showed in his Illustrated Empathy Gap website that, contrary to claims by some domestic violence agencies, there was no tsunami of domestic violence during the first covid-19 lockdown, even though that claim had been supported by UK governments to the tune of about £150 million of extra money given to domestic violence agencies.

William Collins did something that I also had actually done: we both separately made Freedom of Information applications to the police forces in the UK, analysed the data, and found that there was no such tsunami of incidents of domestic violence. It didn’t happen. The claim was fraudulent.

This is a very important line of inquiry and it should have generated headlines all over the national media, instead of which it got no coverage at all. I found it impossible to place those findings in national media. I got no reply at all from newspapers like The Mail, The Telegraph, or from Unheard or Spiked. They simply did not even reply“, (Source)

What follows now are a series of media releases or articles dealing with the issue, presented in reverse chronological order:

The long shadow pandemic: Examining the intersection between long-COVID and intimate partner violence (19 October 2023) “Despite well-established evidence of the increased risk of intimate partner violence during the first two years of the pandemic”. And on and on it goes.

Women work harder than men – phooey! Another fabulous article by Bettina Arndt (31 March 2023)

Scroll down to “Back in August 2021 I wrote a blog about the feminists’ great covid domestic violence fundraiser which revealed that all the proper evidence at that time was showing no increase in violence. But despite this, the feminist’s lobbying produced an astonishing 150% increase in the domestic violence industry’s annual handout from the Feds – leaping from $100 to $250 million per annum at least until 2022-23. Surely we can find some parliamentarians to ask questions in Senate Estimates suggesting this money be paid back, now that official proof is in that it was based on a fraud?

Women are three times more likely than men to report violence by their partner, as rates of sexual harassment fall (15 March 2023)

Disgraceful act costing NSW $3.3b during Covid-19 pandemic (12 September 2022)

I hope the future isn’t female, by Janice Fiamengo (27 August 2022)

The great Covid domestic violence fundraiser (24 August 2021) by Bettina Arndt. Recommended reading

Domestic Abuse in the Year of Lockdowns: An Epidemic (2 November 2021)

The Great Coronavirus Abuse Hoax, by the Coalition to End Domestic Violence (2021)

The great domestic abuse epidemic that never was (23 October 2021)

The Great COVID Domestic Violence Fundraiser – Quadrant Online (13 August 2021)

Domestic violence service providers struggling as requests for help surge amid pandemic – ABC News (10 August 2021) Oh, we’re back to ‘surge’ (#retro). And count how many times the word ‘men’ or ‘male’ appears in this article (as in male victims, for example)

Services to be cut and ‘lives lost’ in Queensland’s looming domestic violence funding ‘catastrophe’, advocates warn (12 April 2021)

Coronavirus-Abuse Myth Named as Greatest Media Hoax of 2020 (29 December 2020)

Urgent funding plea to aid victims of abuse (26 September 2020) Australia

‘Revenge porn new normal’ after cases surge in lockdown (18 September 2020) UK, with a similar article in ‘The Independent’. A new funding angle it would seem.

The Domestic Violence racket explained (15 September 2020) UK video

Curb cash flow to the domestic abuse lobby (9 September 2020) UK

Frontline data reveals how Victorian lockdown is impacting family violence help-seeking behaviours (18 August 2020)

Domestic abuse surged in lockdown, Panorama investigation finds (17 August 2020)

$20m funds boost for family violence protection (17 August 2020)

“The Andrews government has announced an extra $20m for family violence prevention, citing an increase in demand for “perpetrator services” during the coronavirus pandemic. Minister for the Prevention of Family Violence Gabrielle Williams cited an 11 per cent increase since last year in calls to the Men’s Referral Service.”

Urgent action needed to end pandemic of gender-based violence, say women’s rights experts (15 July 2020) Wow, now DV is the pandemic. Virus, listen, sorry, but it’s not all about you!

Domestic abuse charity anticipates ‘a tsunami of calls’ as figures rise (29 July 2020) A “tsunami of calls” – now that’s a bold new term

COVID-19 pandemic leads to rise in violence against women and girls in Asia Pacific, new report shows (22 July 2020) And ‘Plan International’ doesn’t have any history of feminist bias, now does it? I note too, that the article doesn’t identify the gender of perpetrators of child sex tourism. But it was 100% men, right?

Domestic violence on the rise during pandemic (13 July 2020) “The survey of 15,000 Australian women in May provides the most detailed information in the world about the prevalence and nature of domestic violence experienced by women during the pandemic.” How many men did they say were surveyed? That would be *none*

No spike in home violence, police say (10 June 2020) ‘The Australian’ newspaper tells us that NSW authorities “almost doubled domestic violence checks” but found “no increase in abuse rates“.

‘Tsunami’ warning for domestic violence networks as victims try to escape coronavirus lockdown (6 June 2020)

“Professor Wendt says women are experiencing violence at a more “intense level” as they try to survive the restrictions and plan their escape as measures lift”. Needless to say, what constitutes a “more intense level” is left to the imagination, and no supporting statistics are provided to quantify intensity.

NSW domestic violence down 12% amid virus (28 May 2020) Finally, the first of the ‘official’ figures emerge, and surprise, surprise …

UK Domestic Abuse Charity Sees 10-Fold Spike in Website Traffic During COVID-19 Lockdown (28 May 2020)

COVID-19 funding to boost domestic violence support (26 May 2020) Australia. The NSW and Federal Governments “investing” more than $21 million to boost frontline services and other supports.

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Clearly there’s no need to study the implications for male victims (there’s so darn few of them calling in for help, you see)

No evidence that domestic violence is rising due to COVID-19 (11 May 2020) USA

Government to invest millions into family violence services (11 May 2020) Meanwhile, also in New Zealand, “demand during lockdown increased by some 35 percent compared to last year, but she believed the full impact was yet to emerge.”

Coronavirus: Assault decline eases fears of spike in domestic abuse, by Kieran Gair (10 May 2020) Australia

Hollande highlights domestic violence in French lockdown (9 May 2020) The World Health Organisation claims that domestic violence has increased by 60% (based on “emergency calls by women” they claimed had been made).

Dementia charity sees 44% increase in calls during COVID-19 lockdown (9 May 2020) UK. Imagine 44% more people becoming demented. Better get your chequebook out, Prime Minister. Look out Team Harpie #HostileTakeover

The shocking rise in domestic violence reports since lockdown (3 May 2020) Australia

“One of the terrible side effects of Australia being in lockdown is the alarming rise in the number of people ringing domestic violence help lines”

Coronavirus: Government pledges £76m for abuse victims (2 May 2020) UK

“But Labour said this fell “woefully short” of what was needed and proposed amendments to the bill that would see 10% of the £750 million charity support package announced last month ring-fenced in a fast-track fund for domestic abuse charities”

Woman who stabbed boyfriend in the hand told police ‘isolation is getting to me’ (1 May 2020) UK

Domestic violence victims seeking help rises 10 per cent after COVID-19 lockdown (1 May 2020) Australia

” … I have just had 50 front-line workers on a statewide forum on the phone and all of them are saying how much busier it is… and now the stats come back to prove it”. “Stats” that agency staff themselves generated … what could go wrong?

“Ms Foster said the figures were concerning because they conflicted with a recent report from the Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, which found “domestic violence assaults recorded by police did not increase in March 2020, despite social distancing measures commencing … But Ms Foster said the report had sent a “dangerous message” to victims and policymakers. She said it was “irresponsible to put out a report drawing a conclusion that fears that domestic violence would increase hadn’t been realised.”

Coronavirus: Homes a prison as assaults on rise (1 May 2020) Australia

“The Queensland Minister for the Prevention of Domestic and Family Violence, Di Farmer, said authorities across the country were grappling with an “amplification” of abuse caused by the COVID-19 outbreak and tough health restrictions.

Domestic violence crisis centres in the state have experienced a 40 per cent spike in calls for help since the start of the pandemic …”

Domestic violence services prepare for demand as coronavirus restrictions begin to ease (1 May 2020) Australia

“The most concerning statistic came from Google data, with the Federal Government seeing a 75 per cent increase in searches about family and domestic violence compared to the average number of searches over the previous five years.”

“Alison Macdonald, acting chief executive of Domestic Violence Victoria, said there was clear evidence a surge in demand was coming. “We know from international evidence that there are spikes in family violence in post emergency and post crisis situations,” she said. “We know from Australian experience with bushfires, with floods and with cyclones.”

Women’s safety and Covid-19: Focus on the evidence (30 April 2020) ANROWS agency. Australia. A slightly more detailed discussion of the information that is currently available

Domestic abuse killings double and calls to helpline surge by 50% during coronavirus lockdown (27 April 2020) UK. And online requests for help have gone up 400%. All as reported by campaigners and agency staff, etc. And gov’t hands over money for yet another awareness campaign (#youarenotalone)

Impact of the Covid-19 pandemic on family planning and ending gender-based violence (27 April 2020) Another day, another UN report, with this one asserting that:

“To estimate the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on efforts to end gender-based violence, Avenir Health modelled a delay in the scale-up of prevention efforts as attention and resources are devoted to COVID-19, and an increase in violence during the period of lockdown. Assuming a slow start to the scale-up of prevention programmes (i.e., a 2-year delay in 2020 and 2021), followed by a rapid expansion of prevention programs in the middle of the decade, an estimated 2 million additional instances of intimate partner violence in 2020-2021 are expected.”

“COVID-19 pandemic is likely to cause a one-third reduction in progress towards ending gender-based violence by 2030”

“For every 3 months the lockdown continues, an additional 15 million additional cases of gender-based violence are expected”

That’s right, no police reports were used to generate predictions. It was all based on modelling. Remarkable. And of course, no mention anywhere of female perpetration.

UK lockdown: Calls to domestic abuse helpline jump by half (27 April 2020) UK. I’m getting dizzy, now calls to helplines *are* jumping up (but still no ‘real’ statistics).

Man fighting for life, woman expected to be charged following serious stabbing at Kilburn in Adelaide (25 April 2020) South Australia

Domestic violence in the wake of COVID-19 (23 April 2020) NSW, Australia

“Domestic violence assaults recorded by police did not increase in March 2020”

Hotels say offer of refuge for domestic abuse victims has been snubbed (19 April 2020) UK. Just send cash please

Coronavirus Australia: Why calls to domestic violence helplines are plummeting (18 April 2020) So a surge in calls means more domestic violence hence more funds are needed for feminist NGO’s, whereas a lull in calls means the same thing. OK, sure

Domestic abuse killings ‘more than double’ amid Covid-19 lockdown (15 April 2020) As identified by “campaigners”. Read more about ‘Counting Dead Women’ here.

COVID-19: The bystander role has never been more critical in calling out (9 April 2020) What’s going on? There appears to be a change of feminist tactics, as suddenly statements admitting that there has been no boost in the number of DV victims post commencement of pandemic.

No spike in domestic violence in Tasmania despite early warnings: police (9 April 2020) Whoops, now that’s awkward. And here’s an unconvincing attempt at recovery by a high-profile feminist spokesperson.

A new Covid-19 crisis: Domestic abuse rises worldwide (7 April 2020)

Statement by Executive-Director UN Women regarding the effect of Covid-19 on the incidence of domestic violence (6 April 2020) Another report released the same week. In each case the ‘proof’ of the link (between Covid-19 and heightened domestic violence) is inferred to be claims made by staff of feminist agencies & NGO’s.

Family violence perpetrators using COVID-19 as ‘a form of abuse we have not experienced before’ (29 March 2020)

‘Covid-19 will slam the door shut’: Australia’s family services brace for domestic violence spike (28 March 2020)

More men die: Women most affected. A Janice Fiamengo video (24 March 2020)

Coronavirus Australia: Why women will feel the impact more than men (17 March 2020) 

More on the Covid-19 issue can be found here, and other blog posts that may be of interest might include:

Public events and domestic violence myth

Partner in arms: A primer on the domestic violence industry

Two awareness campaigns. Only one can be criticised. Cowed by feminism?

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Some observations regarding online information concerning filicide

I was browsing Twitter the other evening and noted a reference to a UK article entitled Violent fathers given access to children even after 50 deaths. The Twitter thread to which I subsequently responded can be found here.

I queried whether (in the UK) more children were killed by their mother or father, and I included a link to an earlier post I prepared regarding filicide that shows, amongst other things, that in Australia the biological mother kills more children.

Another poster then provided a link to a 2013 University of Manchester article entitled Findings from most in-depth study into UK parents who kill their children. The study relied upon a 10-year consecutive case series of convicted homicides and homicide-suicides (01/01/97-31/12/06) in England and Wales. That paper defined ‘filicide’ as “a homicide committed by a parent or adult in-loco parentis, with the victim aged under 18.”

The article noted that:

“Overall, fathers were significantly more likely to kill their children than mothers, and were more likely to use violent methods of killing, have previous convictions for violent offences, perpetrate multiple killings, and have a history of substance misuse or dependence.”

I sought to verify the statistical source and compare this with other sources or studies available online, for which I then went hunting. So what did I find? Well it was interesting (though I note that my research is to be continued as time permits and as I receive responses to both my Twitter posts and this blog post).

Soon afterwards another poster assured me that fathers killed more children, and added “if you factor in that there are only 2% of males who are stay-at-home parents, the vast majority of single parents are women and women do the vast majority of child-rearing, if you considered hours by capita on childcare then the stats would be vastly skewed against men.” He/she then provided a link to a 2017 article in The Conversation entitled Understanding the triggers for filicide will help prevent it. If you can spare the time be sure to note the readers comments. My requests for further related/supporting reference works were declined.

Another reference I came across was entitled ‘Filicide: Mental Illness in Those Who Kill Their Children’ (4 April 2013). Note too the following reader’s comment which struck an accord with my own initial thoughts, but to which the authors failed to respond:

“The paper presents information that appears skewed that hides certain details of the sampling. It notes that the significant majority of perpetrators are fathers but this includes Step fathers that is a social construct. This figure portrays fathers as being more likely to kill a child when in fact it is mothers & their partners that are more likely to be the perpetrators. The fathers protective role is supported by the fact that step mothers commit only 2% (in one case) of the cases. Other research in the US including DOJ and Dept of Child Services show that the largest perpetrators of filicide in children under 1 year old are biological mothers.

Do not see a break down of biological fathers vs biological mothers role, and the insistence of including the artificial mix of step fathers/mothers only serve to skew the impressions the media is likely to interpret from this article. The inclusion of step fathers with speaking about fathers is a common ploy seen in media to portray fathers in bad light. In my local area, in the overwhelming majority of times the word “father” is used in a negative context committing a crime against a child, its in fact a step father or mothers boyfriend.

Your statement “Overall, a significantly higher proportion of fathers than mothers were convicted of filicide; a male to female ratio = 2:1” is problematic. You are using courtroom outcomes to determine guilt and severity. We know from several studies that women receive lighter sentences for the same crimes/circumstances in about that same ratio. Examining the data chart is even more troubling. 84 out of 195 male perpetrators (don’t know how you can include step fathers as having committed filicide unless he kills his own biological children) receive the charge of murder compared with 9 out of 102 female perpetrators.

My hypothesis from data collected from government sources in the US, it is clear that the biological fathers role is very protective compared to all other parent ‘figures’. It appears this is also correct in your data if you were to solve a few simple linear equations to arrive at the ratios of biological fathers to mothers as well, and treat each demographic separately. But the statement you make that “I am going to presume that this is by design and qualifies as an example of the “WAW” effect which is a form of bias.”

I  also came acrossChild homicide perpetrators worldwide: a systematic review (date unknown). This paper took a global perspective and noted significant deficiencies in available date, for example:

“Vast differences in the definitions of perpetrator categories only allowed crude comparisons across countries. Categorisation of perpetrators into parents, other family members, acquaintances, strangers and unknown did not capture nuances such as, for example, mothers’ boyfriends, who were considered as acquaintances as there was a lack of information on whether they were solid family members or casual relationships.”

My initial observations include:

  • That most statistical sources and the papers based on them were relatively dated
  • That papers were inclined to focus more on the gender of victims rather than perpetrators
  • That explanations or factors contributing to the crime were sought and discussed more in the case of female perpetrators, than for male perpetrators. In the case of women, the two most common factors seem to be that women spend more time with children and are hence more likely to harm them, and that female killers are more likely to be found to be younger and/or mentally ill.
  • That the relationship between the perpetrator and the victim was usually identified, but not clearly detailed in the case of differentiating biological father, step father or de-facto partner.
  • That an unknown, but possibly quite significant, number of murders are apparently excluded from being classed as filicide due to mental illness on the part of the murderer. This would reduce the ratio of female to males sentenced.

One potentially relevant factor not discussed in any of the papers I came across was the gender bias (towards women) in the police and court system, which could involve less women being charged with murder, and with less being found guilty upon being charged.

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Other related posts in my blog that may be of interest include:

The often contrasting reaction when mums and dads kill their children

On fathers and their children

Is child abuse a gendered crime too?

On housework and ’emotional labour’

You might well have noticed articles regularly appearing on the above topics. Almost without exception the theme is one of men as unappreciative, lazy, selfish, oafs. We are told that women who are in heterosexual relationships are routinely forced to pick up the slack, and consequently are left feeling unhappy and disadvantaged.

Until now I collated articles on this theme in (mostly) the following blog posts:

The ‘Marriage Strike’ and MGTOW
Men & women and their attitudes to marriage and parenthood

From this point forward, however, I’ll consolidate all such articles in this new post, and progressively add my own commentary.

Related references:

Boy Meets Squirrel: The Hypocrisy of Modern Feminism (17 October 2024) Video

Battling parents win landmark ruling stating ’emotional abuse’ led to teen daughter’s suicide (13 July 2024) UK

‘They are men … they do nothing’: inside the home lives of women around the world (3 April 2023)

Women work harder than men – phooey! Another great article by Bettina Arndt (31 March 2023)

My man does more chores than me and people think he’ll leave me (11 October 2022) Australian feminist journo, Mary Madigan, just doesn’t get it

Ridiculously easy way men can improve their sex life (23 August 2022) Now scroll down this page to the contrasting “… have less sex” link

Twitter discussion thread on men’s contribution to work and household duties (4 March 2022)

6 Reasons men need to stop making the first move in dating (7 March 2021)

The wage gap is created by women and reflects female financial privilege over men (17 November 2019) A reddit mens rights discussion thread

Men aren’t defective women. They’re men (24 September 2019)

Bettina Arndt looks at housework (10 April 2019) Video

OECD: Time spent in paid and unpaid work, by sex (undated) When you add paid & unpaid work together then gender differences all but disappear.

Sharing the parenting duties could be key to marital bliss: study (3 October 2017)

Most of the articles on this theme don’t acknowledge that men are, on average, doing more around the house than they have ever done before. This article bucks the trend:

“Although men have increased their housework time since the 1970s, they more typically perform the least-urgent chores, like changing lightbulbs or car maintenance”. Err, thanks for the bouquet

Stop calling women nags – We’re just fed up (27 September 2017)

Gender equality begins at home: empty the dishwasher, guys, by Judith Ireland (1 May 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread. And here is a February 2017 article on the same theme.

At home, women treat men as if they are barely competent (10 February 2015)

The two articles below argue a case that’s somewhat different to the usual feminist assertions:

Men Who Do More Housework Have Less Sex (1 April 2013)

The More Chores A Husband Does, The More Likely The Marriage Will End In Divorce (28 September 2012)

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The Duluth Model: The theoretical basis for the feminist approach to domestic violence

The cornerstone of the feminist approach to domestic violence is known as the ‘Duluth Model’, which is often illustrated as follows:

The Duluth Model is “based in feminist theory positing that domestic violence is the result of patriarchal ideology in which men are encouraged and expected to control their partners”. (Source)

It is my position, and I am certainly not alone in this regard, that applying this theoretical framework to most (let alone all) incidents of domestic violence is highly misleading and inappropriate.

Further, if gender inequality is the most significant precursor in relation to domestic violence, then:

Why is the incidence of domestic violence greater in lesbian couple than in heterosexual couples?

How might one explain the already high and growing levels of female-perpetrated violence generally?

How might one explain the significant geographical variations in the incidence of domestic violence? The chart below, for example, looks at variations in the incidence of DV in the Australian state of New South Wales.

highrateDVareas

Why does there exist a very considerable number of male victims of domestic violence?

How might one explain the relatively high levels of child abuse and neglect involving single mothers?

Why is the level of domestic violence so high in countries like Sweden that, even feminists would agree, have a higher than average level of gender equality?

These categories or situations of domestic violence are not the inconsequential anomalies that many propose them to be. On the contrary, they constitute very large and substantial pieces of the domestic violence jigsaw.

In an intimate partnership between two people of different genders, an unequal balance of power can be a factor contributing to DV. But what feminists refuse to concede is that the partner asserting most power need not be male, and often isn’t.

The Duluth Model and its chief proponents are discussed at length in this illuminating series of email exchanges (mirror here).

“… the Duluth model essentially views all female transgressions as being self-defensive in nature (even against children!) and can be attributed either to previous victimization by a male or to an allegedly oppressive “patriarchy” (Dutton and Corvo, 2007)”

I would urge you to take a moment now to read Jason Dale’s detailed and insightful commentary. The quote below has been attributed to Ellen Pence (Wikipedia).

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See also:

Drive: The wheels come off (3 August 2020)

Duluth worked even better than I expected (25 July 2019)

You can’t help men by attacking masculinity, by Dr John Barry (27 November 2018)

Setting the record straight on Duluth (6 February 2017)

The Duluth model is working as designed; you won’t smart mouth her again, by Dalrock (3 February 2017)

Taking an in-depth look into domestic violence research – The Duluth Model (6 September 2015)

The Gender Paradigm In Domestic Violence: Research And Theory (2005) by Donald G. Dutton and Tonia L. Nicholls

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On women/girls providing public displays of racism

Regular readers of this blog would be aware that I tend to get a bit riled about the way that men are consistently portrayed as the perpetrators of anti-social behaviour, whilst their many good deeds are often taken for granted. Women, on the other hand, are far more likely to be portrayed as the victims of abuse or negative discrimination whilst their countless infractions are continually white-washed or minimised.

I just came across a post in a blog that reflected this sort of bias, a picture from which is provided below.

ranter

The post provides some tips on how observers might intervene in ways that would hopefully diffuse a volatile and potentially violent situation. That’s a positive thing. Unfortunately however, the blogger tainted an otherwise potentially valuable message with a goodly measure of gender bias, portraying:

  • Men as the aggressors
  • Women as the victims of male aggression
  • Women as the rescuers of women suffering male aggression

(Disclaimer: I recognise that the followers of Islam do not constitute a ‘race’. I also appreciate that in the context of anti-Islamic abuse, women are more likely to be singled-out due to their distinctive clothing.)

That said, in the broader context of racially-motivated abuse in public places, it would seem that:

  • Women are just as likely, if not more likely, to engage in taunting or abuse
  • Men are just as likely, if not more likely, to intervene to stop abuse (example)

And indeed I’ve seen evidence of many nasty incidents involving girls/women unleashing racist rants on others. Obviously some men are also racists, but I have noticed relatively few stories with men as perpetrators. Why might this be so? Could it be, for example, that women consider themselves relatively immune from harsh intervention by victims and/or bystanders? I’m thinking here of possible underlying factors such as entitlement, the pussy-pass, and ‘it’s different when a woman does it‘.

Here are some links to relevant articles:

Japanese tourist visiting Australia racially abused in vile rant (21 March 2024)

What Sam Kerr allegedly said to a police officer revealed (7 March 2024) and then before you know it the media inform us that the public are cheering on Ms Kerr … ‘National icon’: Australians defend Sam Kerr after details of slur emerges. Oh how very different things would be were genders swapped

Are women really ‘Central to Global Peace’? The tale of Sarah Douglas (22 February 2024)

Four girls aged 11 to 15 charged after vicious brawl at Burwood Station caught on video (12 February 2024) Australia

Woman fired after telling German tourists on train to ‘get out’ of US (6 October 2023)

Drunk Muslim woman, 20, who brawled at bowling alley and called police ‘f****** whites’ (25 July 2023)

White ex-University of Kentucky student indicted for viral racist attack (25 February 2023)

Asian-American woman using the N-word on the subway (undated video on Twitter) Vile language warning

Ex-Kentucky student Sophia Rosing indicted by grand jury after racist assault captured on viral video (23 February 2023)

‘Ryde, emphasis on Ryde’: Woman lashes out at innocent staff in ugly rant (20 February 2023)

‘Rude’: America ‘disgusted’ by group of young women in viral video (20 February 2023)

Woman unleashes racist rant on Sydney light rail (17 November 2022)

‘Actually shaking’: Model and influencer Lizzie Cao racially abused in Sydney car park (1 September 2022)

Aussie fisherman films racist joke at Sydney show (3 August 2022) Karen’s male partner does most of the talking in this episode where humor goes to die

Vile woman bit mum in disgraceful attack in front of son, 4, after racist rant (2 August 2022) UK

Newsreader Tracy Vo’s shocking racist encounter (26 July 2022)

Police: Suspects attacked woman on bus in Queens, made anti-white statements (15 July 2022)

Shocking details of Liz Cambage’s pre-Olympic outburst finally revealed (29 May 2022)

‘Not American’: NBA star Norman Powell films woman harassing him at a gym (26 May 2022)

Driver goes viral for refusing ride for woman over ‘racist’ remarks (17 May 2022)

Police will now investigate woman who ‘hit a boy, 12, with a paddle because he was black’ (11 May 2022)

‘Aliens’: New Zealand woman’s racist rant on Auckland city street (28 April 2022)

‘We’re going to find him’: Osaka explains racist history behind on-court tears after fan’s insult (13 March 2022) Except it wasn’t a “him”, it was a her

Influencer Jade Tuncdoruk’s Uber Eats rant prompts publicists to pull her from invites list (22 January 2022)

Bra tycoon Michelle Mone sued for $378K over ‘racist’ message (12 January 2022)

Underwear model, 24, filmed screaming racist slur outside nightclub on Boxing Day as cops investigate (31 December 2021)

Female Muslim student at Fairfax High School involved with false allegation of an alleged hate crime (19 December 2021) See related Twitter thread here.

Victoria’s Secret shopper filmed lunging at another customer (news.com.au) (15 July 2021)

‘White privilege’: Amazon deliver driver allegedly attacks customer (news.com.au) (6 June 2021)

Dane Frances De Leon in Brisbane Magistrates Court for public nuisance at refugee protest | The Courier Mail (3 June 2021)

Israel and Palestine conflict: Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s warning to Australians (news.com.au) (13 May 2021) Woman carrying a burning Israeli flag down the street

‘Get Off My Train:’ Woman Deals Woman Head Blow in Possible Subway Hate Crime (5 May 2021) USA

Teacher’s ‘horrible’ racist rant recorded after she failed to hang up after Zoom call (28 March 2021) USA

City Council candidate Susan Lee pushed down subway stairs in random attack (25 March 2021) USA

Pregnant woman hit with ‘rampage of racial slurs’ while waiting for scan (24 March 2021) Australia

‘Disturbing and unacceptable’: American Airlines responds to flight diversion over racial slur (2 March 2021)

Sister of Christchurch victim films racist rant (29 December 2020) NZ

Woman caught on video telling black neighbor to ‘act like a white person’ (19 November 2020) USA

‘We don’t take blacks’: Melbourne woman booted from Airbnb over disgusting texts (9 November 2020) Australia

‘Inferior’: British wife ordered to pay $180k for racial abuse of Aussie Duncan Bendall (9 September 2020) May not have ranted in a public place, but nevertheless, ewww. And a feminist too, it would appear

Woman goes on racist tirade at three black joggers on an LA beach and calls 911 claiming they ‘assaulted her’ (3 September 2020) USA

Racist thug flashes boobs at kebab shop workers and accuses them of rape in vile rant (28 July 2020)

‘Karen’ shouts anti-Asian slurs at post office employee in shocking video (28 July 2020) USA

‘Racist’ CEO who terrorised Asian family slammed over apology (10 July 2020) It’s great that the waitress stood up for this Asian family, but can you imagine people contributing to a GoFundMe page for a man doing the same thing?

This Caucasian woman didn’t get the response she was anticipating when she called another woman the ‘n’ word (25 June 2020) USA video

Black Lives Matter: Lisa Alexander’s husband fire after filming encounter (17 June 2020)

This woman doesn’t like Hawaiians (13 June 2020) Video, and this woman doesn’t like someone else (Video)

Furious Woolworths customer hurls shopping baskets and some VERY foul language at staff and security as shocked shoppers look on (12 June 2020) Australia

Woman spits on black teenager during protest march (9 June 2020) USA

Arizona ‘Karen’ is slapped across the face after racist rant in which she yells at a Hispanic woman in gas station to ‘go back to her country’ (8 June 2020)

“We speak English here!” (2 June 2020) USA woman objects to people listening to Mexican music in the park (Tweet)

Woman who called the police on man in Central Park stood down from job after video goes viral (27 May 2020) USA

Bystanders shut down woman during racist rant in Melbourne (8 May 2020)

Coronavirus: Melbourne woman’s racist rant at Chinese bubble tea shop (6 May 2020) Australia

Doctor calls for unity during coronavirus pandemic after being targeted in racist attack (20 April 2020)

Victoria police search for women caught on camera attacking Chinese students (18 April 2020)

Woman tells Telstra worker to ‘go back to China’ in racist attack (10 April 2020)

Asian dog, you brought corona here’: Young women racially abused, spat on in Sydney street (31 March 2020)

Police: Niles woman charged with hate crime after hitting 87-year-old with purse (10 March 2020) Ranting and then some

‘Racist’ abuse towards New Zealand train conductor slammed by passengers (28 February 2020)

The journalist at a Trump Press conference doesn’t need to rant, we can guess what she’s thinking. See @flightcrew Twitter account on 27 February 2020

Leftists at the University of Virginia are dictating who is and who isn’t allowed in the new Multicultural Student Centre (13 February 2020) Video

Woman Who Spat On Bus Driver’s Face In Lengthy Meltdown Avoids Prison (13 February 2020)

Woman yells racist slurs, spits on and assaults hotel receptionist (27 November 2019)

‘Speak English in Canada,’ woman rants at Asian staff in B.C. drugstore (30 October 2019)

Actor Nakkiah Lui calls out shocking racism in Sydney supermarket (23 October 2019)

British woman grounds flight after calling Muslim passengers ‘terrorists’ (15 July 2019)

‘White trash b***h: ACA reveals audio recording of model’s assault of flight attendant (27 June 2019)

When actions move beyond words … this female international student was assaulted in Melbourne CBD and told to leave Australia … details in this tweet (26 March 2019)

Straphanger makes citizen’s arrest after hell beaks loose on subway (14 December 2018)

Simone O’Broin: Lawyer in wine-rage rant arrested after plane lands (15 November 2018)

Women yells obscenities at family speaking Spanish at Virginia restaurant (23 October 2018) USA

Missouri Woman Fired For Blocking Black Man From Entering Apartment Complex (15 October 2018)

Southwest Airlines Passenger Called Flight Attendant the N-Word (2 October 2018)

Tweet regarding racist rant at public pool (27 June 2018)

Air force fires waitress over racist video (17 June 2018)

After Racist Tweet, Roseanne Barr’s Show Is Cancelled by ABC (29 May 2018)

Video of woman bashing up allegedly racist woman in Florida goes viral (27 August 2017) USA

Vancouver SkyTrain Passenger Goes On Racist Rant, Gets Called Out By Riders (25 August 2017) Woman does a racist rant and boy comes to the defence of those who she targeted

Student sentenced over racist attack on Muslim woman caught on film (4 August 2017)

Airbnb host fined, ordered to take college course after turning away Asian guest (14 July 2017)

This July 2017 article “based on 243 cases of verified Islamophobic incidents collected over 14 months in 2014-15” suggests that “perpetrators were three times more likely to be male“. I’m more than a little dubious.

Woman’s Islamophobic rant on Sydney bus caught on video (4 June 2017)

Walmart racist shopper’s rant against Latina and black woman (24 May 2017) USA

Airlines after hurling vile insults at Sydney family (23 May 2017)

Four Sydney Muslim women attacked in Broadway (11 May 2017) Australia

Woman reportedly told shopper in Va. store: ‘I wish they didn’t let you in the country’ (May 2017) USA

Racist footy fan exposes unhealthy obsession (12 April 2017)

Teen filmed attacking a Chinese man with a chisel on a Sydney train is set for jail (16 March 2017)

‘I’m not sending a lady to prison for this’: Student spared jail after racist slurs during Notting Hill club rampage (14 March 2017) UK

Party-loving teacher marched off flight after drunken outburst (1 February 2017)

Woman captured on camera abusing a Muslim student wearing a niqab: ‘Take it off, you terrorist’ (22 January 2017) Australia

Woman abuses Coles supermarket staff in Melton (5 January 2017)

Girl, 17, fined after unleashing foul-mouthed tirade on tram traveling on Port Road on Boxing Day (30 December 2016) Lacking obvious racial overtone but otherwise similar in character to the other incidents reported here

‘Invading our country’: Racist rant on Adelaide public bus caught on video (20 November 2016) with follow-up article here

Another racist rant by a woman on public transport (29 October 2016)

Port Adelaide fan who threw banana at Eddie Betts banned ‘indefinitely’ (22 August 2016)

Woman jailed for racially abusing teenage girl on Sydney train (13 April 2016)

Woman accused of racial abuse (16 January 2016) Australian video

Another racist rant – and threatened violence – by a woman on a train (28 December 2015) Australia

Another racist rant by a woman travelling on public transport (19 December 2015) Australia

Racist abuse on a Sydney bus left Lindsay Li fearing for her safety (25 September 2015) Australia

Stacey Eden defended a Muslim woman who was being verbally abused on a Sydney train (17 April 2015) Villain and hero are both women in this story

Disturbing video emerges of horror racist attack on Perth family (1 April 2015)

From “Women assault elderly man” to “Shame on men” in easy steps (1 March 2014) Why many men would choose not to strike back at racist wrong-doers

Psycho Chick fights with pregnant passenger on Perth commuter train (14 June 2013) Video Australia

Woman’s racist rant on train (3 July 2014)

Woman’s racist rant on bus (26 June 2013)

Goodes abuse: teen didn’t know ‘ape’ was racist, says McGuire (27 May 2013)

Woman’s racist rant on train (19 April 2013)

I also noticed that if you search on the words ‘racist rant by woman‘ on YouTube you get 165,000 results. If you search on ‘racist rant by man’, you get 317,000 results but the search results for the latter appear to capture video clips for both ‘man’ and ‘wo(man)’.

Elsewhere in this blog you might also be interested in:

Differing public response to partner violence depending on gender of victim

On chivalry

On violence perpetrated, or instigated, by women and girls

I thought women were meant to be more empathetic?

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Women attack first responders yet omitted from ‘awareness’ campaign

“The government is spending more than $1.3 million on an education campaign to remind the public not to treat health workers as punching bags, after 3300 assaults in the past year alone.” (31 March 2016)

Click here and scroll down the page to watch two of the ads subsequently aired on Australian TV.

Strange thing though … no violent and abusive women are featured in the ads, despite the fact that such people most certainly do exist in real life. I very much doubt that was an accidental omission. Think about why such a decision might that have been made.

There might well be fewer incidents involving women, though I would be interested in seeing the stats in relation to the sex ratio of males v females treated/transported and then the percentage of each that were abusive.

Personally, I suspect that the decision to only show violent men is less about patient ratios and more about social conditioning with respect to how society perceives men and women, and the threat they pose.

Here are three incidents in the first half of 2016 involving female perpetrators assaulting paramedics:

“A WOMAN has stabbed a paramedic on Fraser Island after trying to force him to hand over drugs.” (Source)

“A 21-year-old woman has been charged over the alleged assault of a paramedic sent to a Brisbane pub to help her. The 41-year-old female ambulance officer suffered cuts her arms and swelling and bruising to her face in the alleged drunken assault at Toowong’s Regatta Hotel.” (Source) (Postscript: This case went to court in August 2017 and the perpetrator was found ‘not guilty’)

“As the ambulance passed through the Legacy Way tunnel en route to the Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital she allegedly attacked the 51-year-old ambulance officer, kicking him in the groin and punching him in the head.” (Source)

Anger after two Cairns paramedics allegedly come under attack while on the job (31 October 2016)

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Melbourne mothers beg magistrate to spare them jail after attacking paramedic (8 September 2017)

“Experienced ambulance worker Paul Judd has not been able to return to work since the violent attack in April 2016 and has required multiple surgeries on his foot.

Amanda Warren, 31, and Caris Underwood, 20, have admitted punching and kicking Mr Judd as he and another paramedic tried to treat a patient in Reservoir.

They have both pleaded guilty to intentionally causing injury, while Warren has also admitted criminally damaging the ambulance by ramming it with a car.”

See also:

Paramedic allegedly assaulted after man found dead in home (4 October 2024)

Women arrested after police officer allegedly bitten in CBD (30 May 2022)

Expecting young mum spits on ‘gronk’ paramedic, abuses ‘incompetent’ nurses (8 December 2021)

‘Distressed’ woman attacked paramedic with blade after flagging down ambulance – Mirror Online (2 August 2021)

Police officer, 36, paralysed for life after drunk woman kicked him on duty (25 April 2020) UK

999: What’s your emergency? (22 February 2020) An episode of a UK TV series

Paramedic cuts diamond ring from dead woman’s finger and pawns it, cops say (14 November 2019) Whoops, looks like even female paramedics can be bad too.

Glamorous teen assaults paramedic she calls ‘a white dog’ (1 June 2018). And Leilani Clarke is back in the paper in May 2019 and still being referred to, by the same female journalist, as “glamorous“. Not in my book! And back in court again in July 2019, and again in April 2020. I don’t believe it, Candace Sutton refers to her as ‘glamorous‘ again in May 2020. #FacePalm

Pensioner, 68, grabs crotch of paramedic treating her for a fall and asks, ‘How big is it?’ | Daily Mail Online (11 July 2019)

Furious paramedics protest decision not to jail women who beat ambulance worker (16 May 2018) Gee, female judge too – fancy that.

Nurses and patient at Sydney’s Royal Prince Alfred Hospital stabbed in face by woman with scissors (5 May 2019)

Mums’ ‘vicious’ assault on paramedic lands them in prison (12 December 2017)

Other posts in this blog relevant to this post include:

On violence carried out by women and girls

How men are portrayed … Haw Haw Haw! The jokes on us

Differing public response to partner violence depending on gender of victim

On the punishment of women and the notion of a ‘pussy-pass’

On chivalry

Feminist myth: Women usually only commit domestic violence in self-defence

I was reading an article the other day that included comments concerning domestic violence made by recently appointed Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. Within it I noticed the following quote from an outspoken Australian feminist academic and female violence enabler by the name of Dr Michael Salter:

“In the context of intimate relationships we do see women use violence but it’s predominantly self-defence. We have to reaffirm everyone has the right to defend themselves against violence”.

Sadly this is by no means the first time I have come across a feminist proposing this shameful nonsense as a truthful reflection of reality.

Well at least Michael can bring himself to admit that women can be violent. This is certainly the case, and in many jurisdictions such crimes are on an upwards trajectory.

The dominant theoretical framework employed by the Domestic Violence Industry is known as the Duluth Model. A paper attempting to defend this approach, included the following statement:

“The vast majority of women arrested in Duluth for domestic assaults are being battered by the person they assault. Most, but not all, are retaliating against an abusive spouse or are using violence in self-defense. The notion that battered women share responsibility for the violence used against them because of provocative words or actions is a dangerous form of collusion with men who batter (Mills 2003). We do not accept that these women should complete a batterers’ program. We do agree that there are a small number of women who use violence resulting in police action against their partners without themselves being abused. This is not a social problem requiring institutional organizing in the way that men’s violence against women is.” (Source)

A selection of sources that argue either in support of, or against, the notion that women only perpetrate domestic violence in self-defence and/or after experiencing sustained abuse:

Scots mum who stabbed lover to death walks free from court (10 July 2024) UK

Narelle Atkinson: Mum walks after manslaughter charge dropped over husband’s death (16 August 2023)

Wife admits to killing husband after poisoning ‘favourite soup’ with medication, cutting wrist (28 July 2023) Australia

Model who made £50,000 a year from OnlyFans downed wine, Jagerbomb, rum and cocaine before fatally stabbing her ‘controlling’ boyfriend in the chest, court hears (14 October 2022)

Australia’s Divergent Legal Responses to Women Who Kill Their Abusive Partners (15 August 2022) A pro-feminist perspective of the matter from the team at Griffith University, School of Criminology 

Domestic abuse victims ‘should use Tony Martin defence’ to quash convictions (7 June 2022)

Are we right to assume that women perpetrate domestic violence in self-defence? (24 February 2020) Recommended reading

7 myths about domestic violence (23 January 2020) See Myth #2 (in particular)

Dividing the Sexes: Misrepresentation of Domestic Violence Statistics in Australia (18 March 2018)

‘Understanding domestic abusers’ (undated) from the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence. See “responsive violence”. Sure women are violent but only in order to “attempt to forestall attack, defend self and others, or control the situation”

From the web site of the Canadian Association for Equality:

“Fact: Self defence is no more common a reason for female violence against a partner than it is for male violence against a partner

Sources:  Follingstad, D. R., Wright, S., Lloyd, S., & Sebastian, J. A. (1991). Sex differences in motivations and effects in dating violence. Family Relations, 40(1), 51–57.
Medeiros, R. A., & Straus, M. A. (2006). Risk factors for physical violence between dating partners: Implications for gender-inclusive prevention and treatment of family violence. In J. C. Hamel & T. Nicholls (Eds.), Family approaches to domestic violence: A practitioners guide to gender-inclusive research and treatment (pp. 59–87). New York: Springer (also available at http://pubpages. unh.edu/∼mas2″

Open letter to the Victorian Minister for the Prevention of Family Violence, by the One in Three organisation (17 August 2015) Exaggerating the extent to which female violence is attributable to self-defence

Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence (May 2007)

The Gender Paradigm in domestic violence research and theory (2005) Includes coverage of the claim that women engage in violence mainly due to self-defence.

Deconstructing Self-Defence in Wife-to-Husband Violence by Dr Sotirios Sarantakos (Australia)

selfdefence

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https://twitter.com/FemCondition/status/1512000596156588038?s=20&t=03V2_BfUhN8vH1Y0cSfxxg
(Source: Tweet from Dan Perrins dated 15 August 2022)