Four things that happened to some anonymous guy online

Sometime things happen in your life that you remember many years later. And you wonder why. Here are four that happened to me:

The time I shared a meal with an African-American
The time I almost didn’t hire a guy who was different
The time I was a guest in the home of an Aboriginal family
The time I lived in Asia as a member of an Asian family

My African-American dinner guests

American’s might be puzzled by this one, but you don’t see a whole lot of African-Americans in an Australian city. As a consequence most Australians have a picture of African-Americans manufactured by media and the entertainment industry.

The husband worked for the USA consulate, and I think perhaps his wife did too. He had a benign sounding job title but the vibes he gave off had me imagining him chasing Jason Bourne. The two of them were probably the most articulate and polite people I have ever had at my dinner table.

My Iranian right-hand-man

In my first ever job (local government) I was tasked to create a work group of four to be managed by yours truly. I was in my early 20’s. One of the applicants stood out as somewhat unusual. He was Iranian, in his mid-40’s, and had a PhD. I wondered how I would manage and whether he would work in with the others in the team. I talked to my boss, and he encouraged me to give the guy a chance.

Fast forward many years. Farrokh was the best right-hand-man/colleague I have ever had the pleasure to work with. Initiative, creativity, reliability, productivity, patience … measured anyway you like.

Visiting indigenous folks

The first time I visited Cairns (North Queensland) I somehow got myself invited to have a coffee at the home of a local family. Again, and like many Australians, my only experience dealing with Aboriginals was avoiding substance-abusers at railway stations, or watching a succession of grifters on TV bad-mouthing (non-aboriginal) Australians whilst helping themselves to untold millions of taxpayer revenue.

The family I visited were nice. They were friendly and hospitable. Their home was just like most Australian homes I had visited. They were ordinary Australians.

Turning Asian

I lived for a time in an Asian country. Before that I had only had the briefest of visits to that part of the world. I learnt a lot there. About their culture and, subsequently, about ours. For example I learnt that concepts like ‘common sense’ and ‘good manners’ were not universal … they were specific to the country or region. So just because people didn’t act in accordance with the Aussie model of good manners, didn’t mean they were ill-mannered. It just meant that they were following their own version. Or sometimes they were ignoring both versions. Just like we do sometimes.

Conclusion

All four events at least somewhat surprised me at the time they happened. Why? No doubt someone out there will offer a theory.

As a consequence of these experiences, do I feel that:

all members of these various sub-sets of society are wonderful people?
that we should throw open the doors of Australia that everyone might settle here?
that I am guilty for something my ancestors did, or are alleged to have done to the group in question?

Not one bit. In fact, woke begone!

I do however better recognise that in the absence of first-hand experience, we do rely a lot on the media to form our opinions of others for us. And that the media often presents a distorted and incomplete image.

Acknowledging domestic violence in indigenous communities is racist. And so is failure to acknowledge it

This line has cropped up before but this latest incantation began with a discussion on the Australian TV show ‘Studio 10’. In this particular episode Ms Yumi Stynes declared a woman on the panel to be racist. Kindly refer to this article for some background.

Yumi has already had her recent share of progressive infamy – refer to her hosting role in an SBS show entitled ‘Is Australia sexist?‘

And then Aboriginal activist Elizabeth Wymarra had this to say online, “Just to clarify, Australian statistics show that Violence against Indigenous women and children is predominantly perpetrated by White Males, but again @Studio10au conveniently omit that statistic in order to demonise Indigenous Men” (Source)

Why is no one counting murdered Indigenous women and children? (15 August 2024) But again, nil mention of Indigenous men

Girl, 15, who attacked pregnant woman walking with pram jailed for a year (23 November 2022)

‘Racist’: coercive control laws could harm Indigenous women in Queensland, advocates warn (18 May 2021)

Australian media is failing to cover domestic violence in the right way (2 March 2021)

Assessing the risk of repeat intimate partner assault, by NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics & Research (December 2018)

FactCheck Q&A: Are Indigenous women 34-80 times more likely than average to experience violence? (4 July 2016)

Culture of denial (7 March 2007)

(The graphic above was sourced here. You can google search on ‘domestic violence indigenous Australia’ – or similar – for further sources)

On bigotry as art (#KillAllMen at NIDA)

NIDA →Productions & Events →#KillAllBlacks

#KillAllBlacks

Date/Time: 19 Oct 2016 – 25 Oct 2016

Eight men create an internet utopia where they discuss the most intimate details of their lives, the most righteous, and the most hilarious. Drinking, sports, work, activism, and how to be an out and proud Klansman. But when one of them disappears after being attacked everything changes. #KillAllBlacks suddenly moves from joke to reality.

OK, relax. I’m just pulling your leg. Australia’s prestigious Institute of Dramatic Arts didn’t really fund and host a production called #KillAllBlacks. That would be bigoted beyond belief. Can you imagine the uproar? Chortle, chortle. As if!

No, in fact they funded and hosted a production called #KillAllMen. It’s still bigoted of course, but the essential difference is that men are a social group that one may now denigrate without fear of repercussion. The #KillAllMen hashtag has quite a history, as discussed in this further blog post.

Oh, I can hear some of you chorus “but there is no comparison at all – men have all that privilege. Look at all those male politicians and CEO’s!“.

Ignoring all those men of colour for a moment, just what percentage of men are politicians or CEO’s? One per cent? Even that?

The writer, Nakkiah Lui, identifies as an aboriginal. One might have thought she would possess an abundance of empathy regarding bigotry. Or at least enough to avoid such a grotesque mis-step. But clearly her feminism trumps her empathy.

Hypocrisy is the short answer, but those preferring the challenge of a TL:DR version can chew on ‘cognitive dissonance‘.

Bigotry dressed up as art is still bigotry. Shame on NIDA

Addendum: Ms. Lui was aware of this post as of the day it was uploaded, and was invited to offer a rebuttal. Subsequent feedback consisted of witless ad hominem delivered in a manner reminiscent of terriers yapping behind a screen door. The one criticism that contained even an ounce of substance, was that I had not seen the play.

How ironic then that feminists have just succeeded in having the Australian screening of a film about mens rights cancelled. A film that, ahem, not one of them had seen.

So on the one hand we have an individual castigated for saying bad words about a feminist production in a personal blog, but with no serious intent of having the play cancelled. On the other hand we have 2,000+ feminists and white knights deliberately setting out to deny everyone the opportunity to experience a production. The former production finished its run, the latter never got started.

Again, this patriarchy of ours sure does work in mysterious ways.

See also:

Hateful Clementine Ford (6 January 2024) Scroll to the last two paragraphs to read about her proposed publicly-funded theatre production

Why it’s not OK to say ‘Kill all men’ (2 December 2021)

On women/girls providing public displays of racism

Regular readers of this blog would be aware that I tend to get a bit riled about the way that men are consistently portrayed as the perpetrators of anti-social behaviour, whilst their many good deeds are often taken for granted. Women, on the other hand, are far more likely to be portrayed as the victims of abuse or negative discrimination whilst their countless infractions are continually white-washed or minimised.

I just came across a post in a blog that reflected this sort of bias, a picture from which is provided below.

The post provides some tips on how observers might intervene in ways that would hopefully diffuse a volatile and potentially violent situation. That’s a positive thing. Unfortunately however, the blogger tainted an otherwise potentially valuable message with a goodly measure of gender bias, portraying:

Men as the aggressors
Women as the victims of male aggression
Women as the rescuers of women suffering male aggression

(Disclaimer: I recognise that the followers of Islam do not constitute a ‘race’. I also appreciate that in the context of anti-Islamic abuse, women are more likely to be singled-out due to their distinctive clothing.)

That said, in the broader context of racially-motivated abuse in public places, it would seem that:

Women are just as likely, if not more likely, to engage in taunting or abuse
Men are just as likely, if not more likely, to intervene to stop abuse (example)

And indeed I’ve seen evidence of many nasty incidents involving girls/women unleashing racist rants on others. Obviously some men are also racists, but I have noticed relatively few stories with men as perpetrators. Why might this be so? Could it be, for example, that women consider themselves relatively immune from harsh intervention by victims and/or bystanders? I’m thinking here of possible underlying factors such as entitlement, the pussy-pass, and ‘it’s different when a woman does it‘.

Here are some links to relevant articles:

High-end wedding photographer and family shocked as they’re berated with sickening ‘racist’ insults from fellow United passenger (2 December 2024)

‘It was a mistake’: Woman ordered to pay tradie $6000 after calling him ‘Jackie Chan’ in anti-discrimination case (22 November 2024)

Japanese tourist visiting Australia racially abused in vile rant (21 March 2024)

What Sam Kerr allegedly said to a police officer revealed (7 March 2024) and then before you know it the media inform us that the public are cheering on Ms Kerr … ‘National icon’: Australians defend Sam Kerr after details of slur emerges. Oh how very different things would be were genders swapped

Are women really ‘Central to Global Peace’? The tale of Sarah Douglas (22 February 2024)

Four girls aged 11 to 15 charged after vicious brawl at Burwood Station caught on video (12 February 2024) Australia

Woman fired after telling German tourists on train to ‘get out’ of US (6 October 2023)

Drunk Muslim woman, 20, who brawled at bowling alley and called police ‘f****** whites’ (25 July 2023)

White ex-University of Kentucky student indicted for viral racist attack (25 February 2023)

Asian-American woman using the N-word on the subway (undated video on Twitter) Vile language warning

Ex-Kentucky student Sophia Rosing indicted by grand jury after racist assault captured on viral video (23 February 2023)

‘Ryde, emphasis on Ryde’: Woman lashes out at innocent staff in ugly rant (20 February 2023)

‘Rude’: America ‘disgusted’ by group of young women in viral video (20 February 2023)

Woman unleashes racist rant on Sydney light rail (17 November 2022)

‘Actually shaking’: Model and influencer Lizzie Cao racially abused in Sydney car park (1 September 2022)

Aussie fisherman films racist joke at Sydney show (3 August 2022) Karen’s male partner does most of the talking in this episode where humor goes to die

Vile woman bit mum in disgraceful attack in front of son, 4, after racist rant (2 August 2022) UK

Newsreader Tracy Vo’s shocking racist encounter (26 July 2022)

Police: Suspects attacked woman on bus in Queens, made anti-white statements (15 July 2022)

Shocking details of Liz Cambage’s pre-Olympic outburst finally revealed (29 May 2022)

‘Not American’: NBA star Norman Powell films woman harassing him at a gym (26 May 2022)

Driver goes viral for refusing ride for woman over ‘racist’ remarks (17 May 2022)

Police will now investigate woman who ‘hit a boy, 12, with a paddle because he was black’ (11 May 2022)

‘Aliens’: New Zealand woman’s racist rant on Auckland city street (28 April 2022)

‘We’re going to find him’: Osaka explains racist history behind on-court tears after fan’s insult (13 March 2022) Except it wasn’t a “him”, it was a her

Influencer Jade Tuncdoruk’s Uber Eats rant prompts publicists to pull her from invites list (22 January 2022)

Bra tycoon Michelle Mone sued for $378K over ‘racist’ message (12 January 2022)

Underwear model, 24, filmed screaming racist slur outside nightclub on Boxing Day as cops investigate (31 December 2021)

Female Muslim student at Fairfax High School involved with false allegation of an alleged hate crime (19 December 2021) See related Twitter thread here.

Victoria’s Secret shopper filmed lunging at another customer (news.com.au) (15 July 2021)

‘White privilege’: Amazon deliver driver allegedly attacks customer (news.com.au) (6 June 2021)

Dane Frances De Leon in Brisbane Magistrates Court for public nuisance at refugee protest | The Courier Mail (3 June 2021)

Israel and Palestine conflict: Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s warning to Australians (news.com.au) (13 May 2021) Woman carrying a burning Israeli flag down the street

‘Get Off My Train:’ Woman Deals Woman Head Blow in Possible Subway Hate Crime (5 May 2021) USA

Teacher’s ‘horrible’ racist rant recorded after she failed to hang up after Zoom call (28 March 2021) USA

City Council candidate Susan Lee pushed down subway stairs in random attack (25 March 2021) USA

Pregnant woman hit with ‘rampage of racial slurs’ while waiting for scan (24 March 2021) Australia

‘Disturbing and unacceptable’: American Airlines responds to flight diversion over racial slur (2 March 2021)

Sister of Christchurch victim films racist rant (29 December 2020) NZ

Woman caught on video telling black neighbor to ‘act like a white person’ (19 November 2020) USA

‘We don’t take blacks’: Melbourne woman booted from Airbnb over disgusting texts (9 November 2020) Australia

‘Inferior’: British wife ordered to pay $180k for racial abuse of Aussie Duncan Bendall (9 September 2020) May not have ranted in a public place, but nevertheless, ewww. And a feminist too, it would appear

Woman goes on racist tirade at three black joggers on an LA beach and calls 911 claiming they ‘assaulted her’ (3 September 2020) USA

Racist thug flashes boobs at kebab shop workers and accuses them of rape in vile rant (28 July 2020)

‘Karen’ shouts anti-Asian slurs at post office employee in shocking video (28 July 2020) USA

‘Racist’ CEO who terrorised Asian family slammed over apology (10 July 2020) It’s great that the waitress stood up for this Asian family, but can you imagine people contributing to a GoFundMe page for a man doing the same thing?

This Caucasian woman didn’t get the response she was anticipating when she called another woman the ‘n’ word (25 June 2020) USA video

Black Lives Matter: Lisa Alexander’s husband fire after filming encounter (17 June 2020)

This woman doesn’t like Hawaiians (13 June 2020) Video, and this woman doesn’t like someone else (Video)

Furious Woolworths customer hurls shopping baskets and some VERY foul language at staff and security as shocked shoppers look on (12 June 2020) Australia

Woman spits on black teenager during protest march (9 June 2020) USA

Arizona ‘Karen’ is slapped across the face after racist rant in which she yells at a Hispanic woman in gas station to ‘go back to her country’ (8 June 2020)

“We speak English here!” (2 June 2020) USA woman objects to people listening to Mexican music in the park (Tweet)

Woman who called the police on man in Central Park stood down from job after video goes viral (27 May 2020) USA

Bystanders shut down woman during racist rant in Melbourne (8 May 2020)

Coronavirus: Melbourne woman’s racist rant at Chinese bubble tea shop (6 May 2020) Australia

Doctor calls for unity during coronavirus pandemic after being targeted in racist attack (20 April 2020)

Victoria police search for women caught on camera attacking Chinese students (18 April 2020)

Woman tells Telstra worker to ‘go back to China’ in racist attack (10 April 2020)

‘Asian dog, you brought corona here’: Young women racially abused, spat on in Sydney street (31 March 2020)

Police: Niles woman charged with hate crime after hitting 87-year-old with purse (10 March 2020) Ranting and then some

‘Racist’ abuse towards New Zealand train conductor slammed by passengers (28 February 2020)

The journalist at a Trump Press conference doesn’t need to rant, we can guess what she’s thinking. See @flightcrew Twitter account on 27 February 2020

Leftists at the University of Virginia are dictating who is and who isn’t allowed in the new Multicultural Student Centre (13 February 2020) Video

Woman Who Spat On Bus Driver’s Face In Lengthy Meltdown Avoids Prison (13 February 2020)

Woman yells racist slurs, spits on and assaults hotel receptionist (27 November 2019)

‘Speak English in Canada,’ woman rants at Asian staff in B.C. drugstore (30 October 2019)

Actor Nakkiah Lui calls out shocking racism in Sydney supermarket (23 October 2019)

British woman grounds flight after calling Muslim passengers ‘terrorists’ (15 July 2019)

‘White trash b***h: ACA reveals audio recording of model’s assault of flight attendant (27 June 2019)

When actions move beyond words … this female international student was assaulted in Melbourne CBD and told to leave Australia … details in this tweet (26 March 2019)

Straphanger makes citizen’s arrest after hell beaks loose on subway (14 December 2018)

Simone O’Broin: Lawyer in wine-rage rant arrested after plane lands (15 November 2018)

Women yells obscenities at family speaking Spanish at Virginia restaurant (23 October 2018) USA

Missouri Woman Fired For Blocking Black Man From Entering Apartment Complex (15 October 2018)

Southwest Airlines Passenger Called Flight Attendant the N-Word (2 October 2018)

Tweet regarding racist rant at public pool (27 June 2018)

Air force fires waitress over racist video (17 June 2018)

After Racist Tweet, Roseanne Barr’s Show Is Cancelled by ABC (29 May 2018)

Video of woman bashing up allegedly racist woman in Florida goes viral (27 August 2017) USA

Vancouver SkyTrain Passenger Goes On Racist Rant, Gets Called Out By Riders (25 August 2017) Woman does a racist rant and boy comes to the defence of those who she targeted

Student sentenced over racist attack on Muslim woman caught on film (4 August 2017)

Airbnb host fined, ordered to take college course after turning away Asian guest (14 July 2017)

This July 2017 article “based on 243 cases of verified Islamophobic incidents collected over 14 months in 2014-15” suggests that “perpetrators were three times more likely to be male“. I’m more than a little dubious.

Woman’s Islamophobic rant on Sydney bus caught on video (4 June 2017)

Walmart racist shopper’s rant against Latina and black woman (24 May 2017) USA

Airlines after hurling vile insults at Sydney family (23 May 2017)

Four Sydney Muslim women attacked in Broadway (11 May 2017) Australia

Woman reportedly told shopper in Va. store: ‘I wish they didn’t let you in the country’ (May 2017) USA

Racist footy fan exposes unhealthy obsession (12 April 2017)

Teen filmed attacking a Chinese man with a chisel on a Sydney train is set for jail (16 March 2017)

‘I’m not sending a lady to prison for this’: Student spared jail after racist slurs during Notting Hill club rampage (14 March 2017) UK

Party-loving teacher marched off flight after drunken outburst (1 February 2017)

Woman captured on camera abusing a Muslim student wearing a niqab: ‘Take it off, you terrorist’ (22 January 2017) Australia

Singer Renee Geyer avoids conviction over racist tirade towards hotel receptionist in 2015 (20 January 2017) Australia

Woman abuses Coles supermarket staff in Melton (5 January 2017)

Girl, 17, fined after unleashing foul-mouthed tirade on tram traveling on Port Road on Boxing Day (30 December 2016) Lacking obvious racial overtone but otherwise similar in character to the other incidents reported here

‘Invading our country’: Racist rant on Adelaide public bus caught on video (20 November 2016) with follow-up article here

Another racist rant by a woman on public transport (29 October 2016)

Port Adelaide fan who threw banana at Eddie Betts banned ‘indefinitely’ (22 August 2016)

Woman jailed for racially abusing teenage girl on Sydney train (13 April 2016)

Woman accused of racial abuse (16 January 2016) Australian video

Another racist rant – and threatened violence – by a woman on a train (28 December 2015) Australia

Another racist rant by a woman travelling on public transport (19 December 2015) Australia

Racist abuse on a Sydney bus left Lindsay Li fearing for her safety (25 September 2015) Australia

Stacey Eden defended a Muslim woman who was being verbally abused on a Sydney train (17 April 2015) Villain and hero are both women in this story

Disturbing video emerges of horror racist attack on Perth family (1 April 2015)

From “Women assault elderly man” to “Shame on men” in easy steps (1 March 2014) Why many men would choose not to strike back at racist wrong-doers

Psycho Chick fights with pregnant passenger on Perth commuter train (14 June 2013) Video Australia

Woman’s racist rant on train (3 July 2014)

Woman’s racist rant on bus (26 June 2013)

Goodes abuse: teen didn’t know ‘ape’ was racist, says McGuire (27 May 2013)

Woman’s racist rant on train (19 April 2013)

I also noticed that if you search on the words ‘racist rant by woman‘ on YouTube you get 165,000 results. If you search on ‘racist rant by man’, you get 317,000 results but the search results for the latter appear to capture video clips for both ‘man’ and ‘wo(man)’.

Elsewhere in this blog you might also be interested in:

Differing public response to partner violence depending on gender of victim

On chivalry

On violence perpetrated, or instigated, by women and girls

I thought women were meant to be more empathetic?

Gendered, gendered, gendered: The word that fuels the feminist machine

Few of those reading this would be unfamiliar with the feminist proclivity for labelling a plethora of issues as ‘gendered’. Like many terms it doesn’t mean much without considerable qualification. And even then it may not mean much. But if something can’t be portrayed as being gendered then feminists and their beloved narrative lose traction.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines ‘gendered’ as “reflecting the experience, prejudices, or orientations of one sex more than the other.” The problem though is that in real life there are relatively few things that only (or even predominantly) affect one gender. In most situations both genders wield a significant influence and/or are significantly affected. We’re all in it together. One topical example would be online harassment.

Let’s now look at an even more contentious issue, child abuse. Most non-sexual child abuse and neglect is perpetrated by women. Most sexual abuse of children is perpetrated by men (although there are still plenty of sexual abusers of children who are female). So is child abuse gendered? And in terms of framing remedial action, is it more or less productive to attack child abuse as a gendered issue?

The straw that broke this camel’s back today was an article entitled ‘Australia’s most shocking statistic: Sexual abuse and domestic violence against women with disabilities‘ by Ginger Gorman. The tagline was the shocking announcement that 90% of disabled women have been sexually assaulted during their lifetime.

Ginger’s article tells us that most abuse takes place in institutions, yet makes no mention of the abuse of disabled men/boys. She then provides some examples of incidents of abuse involving male perpetrators in non-institutional settings. The actual gender mix of perpetrators of abuse, in either institutional or non-institutional settings, is left unstated.

In the absence of further details it’s highly likely that readers would have assumed that most victims of abuse were female, and their abusers male. Such is the inevitable outcome of persistent gender bias in the media on top of decades of gynocentric conditioning.

This is despite that fact that there are certainly instances where research has found most perpetrators of abuse to be women. One such example can be found in the Adele Mercier incident, whereupon a feminist academic wrongly denied female perpetration of institutional abuse.

This selective presentation of statistics – only showing the extent to which women are affected, and in the absence of comparative statistics for men and boys – is extremely common in feminist literature. This problem is discussed further in a separate blog post about feminist research and their misleading use of statistics.

The source document for the 90% abuse claim was a submission by the Australian Cross Disability Alliance. I found the relevant reference in the section entitled ‘Incidence & prevalence data on gendered disability violence‘ (page 37). Despite asserting that the abuse was gendered, this section provided no comparative statistics whatsoever in relation to the abuse of men/boys.

How is that appropriate in terms of either compassion or academic rigour? I mean, is this a case of just ‘trust me, I’m a feminist’?

I then took the matter up with the author of the article in a series of exchanges on Twitter including the following:

Look, don’t get me wrong, the most important thing here is to effectively reduce the incidence of child abuse. The rest is second-order stuff. But I honestly don’t see that goal being significantly advanced via the blinkered and self-serving approach taken by feminists. As with domestic violence, framing a solution to half a problem translates into no solution at all.

Oh, and colour me surprised – see below for how this episode ended.

How could anyone take feminism seriously when one is constantly reminded how infantilised its followers have become?

How to make anything a gendered issue, by Blaise Wilson (30 April 2017) Video

The following are some of the other posts in my blog that are also relevant to this issue:

Persistent pro-feminist and anti-male bias in the mainstream media
More assaults at aged care homes
The unbearable lameness of being
How tragic that feminists ignore their role in demonising men

On Australian men seeking foreign partners

Some time ago I bookmarked an article entitled ‘Why overseas women love Aussie men‘. I was intrigued how the writer (a guy, by the way), managed to package a subject that could easily rankle female readers into something quite palatable. The potentially prickly subject he tackled was the phenomenon of men seeking partners from outside Australia.

In fact the author not only made the topic appear benign, but even presented it in a way that might conceivably massage the egos of readers. Part of his strategy was to present the issue as being one of foreign women preferring Australian men, rather than the other way around. Although he did sneak in that cheeky little quip at the end “If only they were more appreciated at home“. “They” being Australian men.

Although the author focused on American women, in fact women from the USA barely make it into the top ten list with regards to those granted partner visas. As you can see from this source, women from various Asian countries (particularly China, the Philippines and Thailand) are far more popular choices. This data is five years old, but numbers have remained steady since then. That doesn’t mean that demand for foreign brides is static however, with further growth in numbers prevented by annual quotas on spouse visas issued by the Australian Government.

I imagine that the reason for the focus on North American women (in the article) was simply to run with the Hollywood/male movie star angle. Another reason though might have been the fact that many western women have a certain ‘thing’ about being second-bested by Asian women. This is usually kept well under wraps, denied even, only to emerge guns blazing under the right set of circumstances (as mentioned in this other blog post).

The writer coyly suggested that the observed attraction to foreign partners was simply due to the ‘grass being greener on the other side of the fence’. It’s an approach that won’t hurt any feelings, as there is no need to acknowledge or reflect upon possible shortcomings on the part of Australian women.

Ah, but can you imagine the furore if the author had taken an alternative approach and asked the question “why are so many Australian men rejecting Australian women as life partners?“. Not that pro-feminist news.com.au would have accepted such an article for publication. Oh the bitter recriminations and backlash about men only wanting ‘submissive slaves’. The shaming remarks like “men who are threatened by independent women!” and “men who couldn’t get a women in their own country!” The horror, the horror. To those reading this and nodding their head to such sentiments … well I can only assume that you have little knowledge of Asian culture or personal experience with mixed-race couples.

I wonder to what extent this trend of Australian men marrying women from non-western backgrounds is due to changes in the attitude and behaviour of Australian women brought about via the pervasive and overdone influence of feminism? Heck, this could be a good topic for a thesis – that is if you could find a university brave enough to sponsor it.

Many thoughtful men in western countries now believe that their choice is limited to a MGTOW lifestyle, celibacy, or life as a purse-pooch/walking ATM (i.e. resigning themselves to the increasingly anti-male strictures of the society in which they live). For these folks an epiphany sometimes occurs upon exposure to life and relationships within a culture where feminist ideology, as we now know it in the west, has yet to take root. I think this is fairly evident in some of the references linked to this post about cross-cultural marriages. That blog post also addresses the negative bias and stereotyping directed at men seeking foreign partners as reflected in articles such as this. As one reader aptly noted:

“This is Scott Morrison and the Coalition playing dog-whistle politics again. Let’s not focus upon the thousands upon thousands of successful cross-cultural marriages that enrich Australian society – that would be a good news story! – let’s focus on a trivially small number of cases (exactly 2 were cited by Morrison) where an ambitious sugar-daddy seeks his naive, young asian bride. This is just pandering to small-minded racists who operate on simplistic stereotypes. This only increases the stigma against intercultural couples.

I’m angry about this because I’ve experienced this first hand. As an Anglo-Australian who has married an Asian seven years younger than me, I’m aware of the stereotypes that are directed our way. Nevermind that we are happily married, never had an argument and share everything together. This is something my brother, who has a partner 11 years his junior doesn’t have to go through because she’s Anglo-Australian too (Nor did my parents who were also separated by 10 years age gap.) This is simply a double standard based on race that society, and especially Scott Morrison needs to build a bridge and get over.

I have many friends who are in happy, loving, cross-cultural relationships. Unlike other couples we have to go through the rigours of laying our personal lives bare to the Immigration Department – who I can assure you are very thorough. Then after that we have to go through this nonsense. Scott Morrison should stop playing politics with people’s relationships and Governments should butt out of marriage. It’s nothing to do with them.”

What a pity most western feminist-influenced women don’t do introspection. Introspection seems to have gone the way of empathy.

And as for listening to what men say … pfff! As high-profile feminist turned MRA, Warren Farrell, famously stated “In our society, the sound of men complaining is like nails on a chalkboard“.

See also:

For some social context surrounding the topic of this post perhaps take a look at http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/12/09/The-Sexodus-Part-2-Dishonest-Feminist-Panics-Leave-Male-Sexuality-In-Crisis

Sorry, Aussie blokes. American men are better suitors (10 August 2016) Entitled Australian woman thinks Australian men need to ‘lift their game’ to be more worthy. Australian men say “bon voyage, princess”

Aussie woman goes on 130 first dates but zero second dates (11 May 2015)

Why I am for the Importation of Hot Foreign Women (17 February 2015)

Are Australian women really all that bad? (15 July 2011) with 451 readers comments

Recruitment bias favours hiring female staff

I came across an article some time ago that detailed the results of a study that looked for any bias shown by Human Resources (HR) personnel when recruiting new staff.

“… we’re talking about the human resource professionals who, thumbing through resumes, act as the gate-keepers to employment around the world. Are they men or women? Because sadly, oh-so-uncomfortably, it matters.”

The researchers detected a significant incidence of bias. They found that, for example, more attractive men where often selected in preference to less attractive men whilst less attractive women were chosen in preference to more attractive women. The researchers considered and disallowed the ‘dumb blonde’ stereotype (i.e. attractive women as being more likely to be stupid) as a reason for this discrimination.

“So the cause of the discrimination must lie elsewhere. Human resources departments tend to be staffed mostly by women. Indeed, in the Israeli study, 93% of those tasked with selecting whom to invite for an interview were female. The researchers’ unavoidable—and unpalatable—conclusion is that old-fashioned jealousy led the women to discriminate against pretty candidates.”

It is becoming increasingly apparent that gender discrimination that may have begun as bias demonstrated by particular individuals has become a systemic practice.

It should come as no surprise that the domestic violence industry, for example, features many organisations that include few or no men in either their boards or their ranks of employees (some examples here). In June 2021 one such organisation, Women’s Safety NSW, advertised two positions – Policy Officer and CEO. They state “We are hiring a Policy Officer to join our team of fabulous women! If you are passionate about women’s justice, safety and wellbeing please click the link to read more.” Both ads featured the proviso that “Women’s Safety NSW considers being a woman a genuine occupational qualification for this position under s 31 of the Anti-Discrimination Act 1977 (NSW)”

Gender stereotypes lead recruiters to discriminate against men (13 October 2022)

Jordan Peterson: Why I am no longer a tenured professor at the University of Toronto (19 January 2022)

Darebin City Council bans men from applying for street sweeper job | news.com.au — Australia’s leading news site (7 September 2021)

Two men win sex discrimination payout after female director vowed to ‘obliterate’ JWT’s reputation | Daily Mail Online (24 July 2021)

CCC finds QPS engaged in gender discrimination in QLD Police Academy (news.com.au) and Queensland police discriminated against 200 potential male recruits in favour of women, report finds | Australian police and policing | The Guardian (12 May 2021)

Swedish study suggests hiring discrimination is primarily a problem for men in female-dominated occupations (psypost.org) (8 May 2021)

Men face more sex discrimination when job hunting

Gender Bias in Academic Recruitment? Evidence from a Survey Experiment in the Nordic Region (November 2020)

Why you should hire women over men, according to science (6 March 2020)

Women’s legal service wins right to exclude men from advertising, recruitment, employment practices (15 May 2019) Australia. And how many instances have there been, at federal and state level, of organisations being allowed to only seek male candidates? Any? Ever?

Astrophysics position at the Australian National University that’s only open to female candidates (26 April 2019)

West Midlands Police accused of ‘discriminating against white male officers’ (15 November 2018) and see related tweet by Martin Daubney

Cern scientist: ‘Physics built by men – not by invitation’ (1 October 2018) Scientist Alessandro Strumia earns feminist and White Knight outrage because he suggested, amongst other things, that female scientists were given a distinct advantage in the recruitment process.

AFP’s call for female recruits causes major stir online (1 October 2017) This video addresses this ‘initiative’

Mark Latham: ‘White male privilege’ myth busted (11 July 2017)

“white men were 6.5 per cent less likely to be short-listed”

Blind recruitment trial to boost gender equality making things worse, study reveals (30 June 2017)

Discrimination by and diversity within HR department (5 March 2017) Reddit discussion thread

I’m a young researcher trying hard to find work, but I can’t apply for these positions because penis (16 October 2016) Australia. Reddit discussion thread and linked job advertisement from Swinburne University of Technology for five women-only positions.

“We are proud to be recognised by the Workplace Gender Equality Agency as an Employer of Choice for Gender Equality for the past 7 consecutive years.” This has to be a joke, right?

Is Silicon Valley Discriminating Against Men and Asians? (14 October 2016)

“Are lawsuits like these a good thing, or are they going to stall efforts to move towards more diversity in Silicon Valley?” (Because fighting discrimination is only OK when it’s the right kind of discrimination, huh?)

Ex-Yahoo employee sues Marisa Mayer claiming she led an illegal purge of male employees (8 October 2016)

Australian Bureau of Statistics to discriminate against hiring men (15 September 2016)

Commission threatens hiring ‘freeze’ on men if more women don’t get top jobs (28 July 2016) Europe

People interviewing for a tech job had their genders masked. It made things worse for the women (1 July 2016) USA. The same study was also covered in Breitbart. Researchers expected anti-female bias but found the opposite. Author of this article tries to explain away the results.

Melbourne University advertises female-only jobs in bid to remedy gender imbalance in maths (18 May 2016) Related Reddit discussion thread here, and critical response from Janet Bloomfield below:

Positive discrimination will have exactly the opposite effect you hope for, Melbourne University. Smarten up (18 May 2016)

Part-time work could hurt jobseekers’ future prospects, UT study finds (3 March 2016)

“He also found that less than 5 percent of men working part time received callbacks. However, the study found no negative effect for part-time employment among women.”

Buzzfeed Canada is recruiting, but doesn’t want white males (19 February 2016)

Tasmania’s top public servant targets gender parity (17 February 2016) Given that 70% of the state’s public service is female, will Greg Johannes also be writing to head of agencies with >50% women to ask them to recruit more men? Gee, I doubt it.

A man who got laid-off from Yahoo is suing the company for alleged sexual discrimination (2 February 2016)

Women out earn men in 29 fields after college. The reason seems to be gender discrimination. How can this be legal? (21 January 2016) Reddit discussion thread and linked article

Being a good looking man could hinder your career, study finds (8 December 2015) UK

Toronto company Vestra Inet prefers ‘female candidates’ for receptionist work (23 November 2015)

University of York cancels International Men’s Day plans after students and staff protest Dr Adrian Lee’s controversial comments (17 November 2015) That preference was given to hiring women at the Uni of York

Women have substantial advantage in STEM faculty hiring, except when competing against more-accomplished men (20 October 2015)

The unfairer sex? (18 April 2015) On recruitment bias in the STEM sector

Women preferred 2:1 over men for STEM faculty positions and Academics rate women job applicants higher than identical men: study (13 April 2015) “The bias toward women “was totally unexpected,” said psychologist and co-author Wendy Williams of Cornell University. We were shocked.”

National hiring experiments reveal 2:1 faculty preference for women on STEM tenure track (5 March 2015)

Seven secrets of dating from the experts at OkCupid (29 September 2014) See section 6 for findings in relation to interview requests

Erotic capital: Danish women losing out (29 September 2014)

http://www.hrzone.com/feature/people/unconscious-bias-module-your-modern-management-programme/141276

http://www.hcamag.com/hr-news/hidden-biases-against-men-overweight-women-found-in-uk-test-145200.aspx

People Management Finds Widespread HR Bias against Men and Overweight Women (1 November 2012) They found that 37% of respondents revealed a negative bias against men

http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/04/04/toronto-councillor-wonders-if-city-hall-has-policy-discriminating-against-hiring-white-men/

Can anyone suggest other sources that explore this issue? I would be particularly interested in any studies that looked at HR staff displaying discrimination against older job applicants. In my experience most HR staff are not only females, but younger females, and I think it’s quite likely that they display an equal or greater degree of bias against older job applicants (as they appear to display against men).

Another post in this blog includes links related to discrimination towards women pertaining to employment, grants, etc. And then perhaps take a look at this post regarding women-only scholarships.

I thought women were meant to be more empathetic?

Empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Those banging the drum about how more women should be promoted to senior management sometimes seek to support their position with sexist generalisations about how women tend to be more ethical, collegial, empathetic, and so on and so forth.

Earlier generations of Australian women were mostly empathetic to a fault. Nowadays, definitely not so much.

Empathy with the resident citizens of overseas countries

Some time ago I was reading the results of a survey of overseas travelers. It found that most travelers were disturbed by displays of cultural insensitivity by fellow travelers. Unfortunately the survey did not breakdown its results on the basis of variables such as gender.

This got me thinking about my own experiences living and travelling in Asia.

Thai culture is quite conservative but Thais will rarely inform tourists when they have crossed the border of social acceptability, unless they venture far beyond the bounds of decent behaviour. Expressions of polite conduct such as kreng jai – the Thai version of our ‘good manners’ – is highly important to them.

Mention Thailand and most people think of men behaving badly. And indeed some men do … as do some women. The difference is that those western men who misbehave tend to do so within touristy nightlife areas, in many cases within recognised ‘red light areas’. Their behaviour generally involves drunken debauchery within the confines of go-go bars or the like. There is nothing laudable about this, but at least the local Thai people in such areas tend to be inured to witnessing this type of behaviour. Outside these areas I have witnessed exceedingly few examples of western male travellers displaying overt cultural insensitivity.

In contrast I have seen many examples of western women behaving inappropriately outside the bar precincts. A common issue is that of wearing skimpy and revealing clothing in and around temples, and in public places such as markets or parks. This occurs despite the fact that any guidebook on Thailand clearly states that such clothing is considered unacceptable, as well as there being signs installed in many locations.

On this note I happened across the following comments by a female editor of an English-language magazine in Thailand:

“Then there is the trio of English lasses who were found wandering around Wat Phra Singh a few weeks back in their bikinis! It has nothing to do with cultural insensitivity or ignorance. It is just a willful refusal to give a crap. Their grandmothers would have taken a wooden spoon to their bottoms had they trotted into the local church dressed that way.”

I have never confronted anyone about this particular transgression, but from discussions in online forums the attitude seems to be “this is my style, why should I have to change to suit them?”, or they are old-fashioned/sexist and *they* should change. I have also noticed plenty of instances of western women exhibiting exceptionally intrusive, pushy and loud behaviour in public places (particularly for example during community events).

Anyway that’s what this correspondent has noticed in going about his daily business, but discussions with Thai women revealed some other issues. These were women who either ran businesses, or worked in other peoples shop-front businesses (not bar-related, I hasten to add). I must first explain that Thai women are generally in awe of western women, and in general there is no underlying animosity whatsoever.

One after the other these women told me similar accounts of their dealing with western female customers, and of their surprise, dismay and occasional anger at the rude behaviour they often encountered. This included body language (like eye rolling and pained expressions) plus clicking noises of annoyance, and rude gestures and insulting words.

As noted, these were just my own observations – what do others think? Are western women travelling overseas less inclined to observe and maintain local cultural decorum, than western men? And if so, why? Do you think it might it be related to an increasingly overdone feeling of entitlement, and of being beyond criticism/censure? That sense of feeling oneself to be a ‘special snowflake’?

Singer ‘Bjork’ clearly thought she was a very special snowflake indeed when she saw fit to assault this reporter at the airport in Bangkok. And here’s another western woman showering the Thais with empathy.

Brits told to ‘dress properly in tourist hotspot (8 August 2024)

TikToker sentenced to two years prison for pork video in Bali, Indonesia (21 September 2023)

Unwritten rules of wearing swimwear in public revealed (20 September 2023)

Paloma Faith under fire after sunbathing in ‘blasphemous’ bikini (8 August 2023)

Jackie O’s humiliating wardrobe malfunction during overseas holiday (22 June 2023) But wait, you’ve missed the most important part … Was the valet’s name, Chad?

Woman exposes genitals on motorbike in Bali (30 May 2023)

‘Crazy Caucasians’: Bali community slam’s German tourist’s naked act (26 May 2023)

Tourist slammed for ‘disgusting’ photo at Auschwitz (19 April 2023)

Bali cracks down on how tourists behave and dress in proposed campaign (8 March 2023)

World Cup’s ‘hottest fan’ slammed for disrespecting locals by wearing G-string swimsuit in Qatar (25 November 2022)

Tourist faces backlash after dancing on Mayan pyramid in Mexico (22 November 2022)

Australian tourist hits back at trolls who criticised her outfit while visiting an orphanage in Bali (16 November 2022)

Bikini models roasted for stripping in front of Eiffel Tower (7 November 2022)

Australian influencer slammed for Indonesian meat market video (25 October 2022) The T&A show she put on doesn’t seem to have been worth commenting upon

Australian knuckle fighter Tai Emery celebrates stunning KO victory by flashing crowd (4 September 2022)

No bans, but bikinis are just not Thai (30 July 2022)

Influencer claims they were kicked out of supermarket for being ‘hot’ (23 July 2022) “I wear it in Brazil on a daily basis”

Tourists can no longer walk around in a bikini in Sorrento (8 July 2022)

Influencer Alina Yoga may be charged with spreading pornography (6 May 2022)

Abbie Chatfield angers Italian men after calling out ‘sexist’ menus (7 April 2022) How ridiculous is this? Abbie and the sisterhood should all pay their share, and they’re welcome to have a menu with prices. The thing is, they don’t want to know prices to pay – they want to know to gloat.

Woman shamed for ‘distracting’ breasts at dinner (20 April 2022)

Mikaela Testa makes candid cheating admission to fans (30 March 2022) “Recently the TikTok star said she was told to ‘cover up’ on holiday. But fans pointed out she continued to share pictures from the island that showed lots of skin.”

Influencer slammed for tone-deaf Ukraine post promoting bikinis (1 March 2022)

Russian influencer facing jail over ‘insulting’ nude church photo (13 January 2022)

Australian socialite, Amy Castano flaunts Dubai‘s strict dress code (5 January 2022)

Woman arrested after shocking video of hurling spicy soup in restaurant worker’s face goes viral (19 November 2021)

Russian model forced to apologise over nude photo outside church (2 November 2021)

Influencer Alesya Kafelnikova apologises for nude photo with elephant (25 February 2021)

‘Super offensive’: Rihanna criticized for wearing necklace of Hindu god in topless photo (17 February 2021)

Tourist arrested over naked photos on sacred bridge in India (2 September 2020)

Naked tourist caught on video climbing onto Buddhist shrine in Thailand (12 August 2020)

‘No respect for the locals’: Bali tourist blasted over ‘shameful’ bikini act (30 October 2019)

Woman fined for tiny ‘piece of string’ bikini on Philippines island (14 0ctober 2019)

Bizarre moment British woman ‘bites trader’s hand’ as she tried to free caged chickens in Morocco (3 September 2019)

Tourists at ancient temple in Bali blasted for ‘disgusting’ actions with holy water (14 August 2019)

And then there’s the behaviour of the USA women’s team towards the Thai team in the 2019 World Cup match (12 June 2019)

The incredible outburst that got this tourist jailed for six months in Bali (8 February 2019) And what a fine ambassador for Britain was this particular ‘lady’

Meanwhile back in the west I have noticed *many* newspaper items like these:

Woman livid when told her pants were ‘too short’ for supermarket (13 August 2020) and Melbourne woman claims she was targeted by budget airline Jetstar (6 November 2019)

And in another blog post we can see that some western women choose to behave in a racist and/or culturally insensitive manner when they are at home.

Some other incidents wherein which women display an absence of empathy and/or an abundance of narcissism:

Bikini selfie that could cost you $4000 (19 July 2024)

‘Reason I flash my boobs at tourist hotspots’ (26 June 2024) USA

Moment near-naked tourists are confronted by furious Majorca locals after spilling off boat for brazen stroll (17 May 2024)

22yo woman takes upskirt photos in Bangkok, Thailand (26 March 2024) Video

Vladimir Putin launches manhunt for topless Ukranian model (20 February 2024)

Woman’s ‘disgusting’ act in change room act Melbourne op shop (11 January 2024)

“Nobody ever says a thing about men’s bodies,” says Billie Eilish … Because girls are nice”. (November 2023) What a truly ridiculous comment. Original quote here … Related Twitter thread here

Ukrainian sisters arrested for twerking on the graves of fallen soldiers, face 5 years in prison (30 August 2023)

Teen busted carving name on Colosseum (17 July 2023)

Second woman could be deported for nude photo shoot in Bali (13 April 2023)

Awkward moment lingerie-clad model dressed as a ‘sexy nun’ is confronted by a churchgoer: ‘This is a cathedral, show some respect’ (10 January 2023)

‘I’m brilliant’: Female crime boss who ran $440,000-a-year sex worker ring jailed (20 June 2022)

I got a ‘dress code’ violation at Disney World over my revealing top (25 March 2022) USA. Another day in the life of White Trash

Woman who blackmailed couple over photos of dying child appeals against jail sentence (9 February 2021) Australia

Judge accused of drinking, having sex in court removed from bench (1 September 2020) USA

Influencer apologises for defacing ancient cliffs with Instagram handle (13 August 2020)

Influencer slammed over ‘inappropriate behaviour’ in popular Bali beach (15 June 2020)

Outrage as two female tourists pose with their Mercedes SUV inside Beijing’s Forbidden City (20 January 2020)

Woman threw cat at neighbour’s door because ‘it kept coming into her garden’ (2 July 2019) UK

Feminist, Chidera Eggerue, doesn’t have time to worry about male suicide (Tweet dated 14 March 2019)

‘Fight Club’ organized by teachers at day care caught on camera (30 October 2018)

Tourists facing 10 years in Thai jail over ‘ridiculously drunk’ prank (26 October 2018)

Video shows nurses doubled over laughing as World War 2 veteran dies (19 November 2017) USA

‘Who are they gonna believe, you or me?’: Texas prosecutor fired after drunken Uber tirade (14 November 2017)

When making a sandwich is a crime against feminism, by Miranda Devine (7 October 2017) The lack of empathy by feminists towards others is legendary – here’s another example

‘Poison Ivy’, 17, bullies ‘weak’ men into degrading themselves online before encouraging them to kill themselves (26 October 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here.

Women more likely to get angry behind the wheel (20 October 2016) UK

First-ever survey of the motivation behind disability hate crime (9 May 2016)

“Around half (49%) of all attacks were group based. Women were involved in most group attacks (men were more involved in lone attacks).”

Inside house of horrors full of dead pets including one dog still chained to its kennel in shocking case of animal neglect (5 May 2016) UK

Rotherham woman offered safe haven to troubled girls – then pimped them out (27 February 2016) UK

Woman pretended to have cancer to get money from her boyfriend so she could pay for plastic surgery (12 February 2016) UK

‘It was the worst flight of my life’ (11 December 2015)

Secret Service Agents: Hillary is a nightmare to work with (2 October 2015)

Anesthesiologist trashes sedated patient — and it ends up costing her (23 June 2015) USA

Russia jails three young women for WWII memorial twerk (27 April 2015)

Egypt investigating how tourists filmed pornographic video near Giza pyramids (8 March 2015)

American sisters deported for naked photos at Angkor Wat (9 February 2015)

Kiwi tourist smashed Buddha statue in Cambodian temple (14 October 2014)

Other sources related to women and empathy:

Sydney teacher allegedly smokes cannabis from bong with students (11 February 2022)

TikTok user shares ‘underboob’ free $97 T-shirt hack at Disneyland (news.com.au) (15 June 2021)

Mum with autism claims she was ‘body shamed’ by Six Flags officer (news.com.au) (11 May 2021) with more details regarding her offensive behaviour here

Instagram ‘butt model’ goes viral for visiting tourists sites in New York (15 February 2021) USA. See, it’s “cheeky” when a woman does it.

Jetstar rules: Model Isabelle Eleanore told to cover up on flight (3 February 2021) Articles like this appear (just in the Australian media) on a weekly basis. News?

‘Bali bikini ban’ will help ‘transform mass tourism hot-spot’ (1 October 2018)

Charity boss jailed for stealing thousands meant for burns victims (13 June 2018)

I’ve Gotten Blown Off By Men So Much Lately That I’m Literally Questioning Everything (October 2017) Author displays total absence of understanding that men have been treated this way since forever (= well before the advent of dating apps!) Welcome to our world darling. Reader’s comments scathing but accurate.

Stereotype that women are kinder and less selfish is true, claim neuroscientists (10 October 2017)

Newsflash: Less Yelling Means More Sex (6 September 2017)

Gender differences in empathy (27 August 2016) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

Oxytocin Has a Dark Side, Says This Stanford Neurology Professor (6 July 2017)

The Absence of Empathy: Understanding the Psychology of Sociopathic Feminism (26 March 2016)

“You’re gonna get hit. It’s gonna hurt. Accept it.” Lessons from Krav Maga (14 March 2016)

Social contagion: Women more likely to yawn in response to others, study says (2 February 2016)

Ringleader in Texas’ biggest sex-trafficking ring sentenced to life in prison (20 January 2016) USA. This is not a rare exception – many women are involved in the running of human trafficking operations like this one.

Health experts warn of dangerous trend as survey finds women self-criticise eight times a day (4 January 2016) Perhaps the most worrying thing about these research findings is how little of the self-criticism relates to the impact of a women’s own behaviour on others around them … it’s all me, me, me

A Plea to Women (28 November 2015) Australia

The Empathy Gap – Fiamengo File Episode 4 (3 September 2015) Video

Woman’s Hour and the lack of understanding or empathy (1 September 2015) Reddit discussion thread

The only two “Fairy Tales” you need to understand women (1 August 2015)

Why do women have such a hard time empathizing with men? (3 April 2015)

Are men inferior to women? Let’s check the data, by Christina Hoff Sommers (30 March 2015) Video

The angry men of the Internet, by Jasmin Newman (March 2015) Australia

Men are selfish, uncaring idiots (23 December 2014)

No, I will NOT wrap all the presents. Why are women still responsible for the holiday joy? (10 December 2014)

Feminist’s perverse game to misrepresent Anti-fem righteous outrage (Youtube video) 27 July 2014

Q&A: Women are nurturing? How about cruel, especially to one another (24 August 2002)

Sorry, Martin Amis – your kindly women can do cruelty too (16 July 2010)

Mom’s Abuse Makes Man Afraid Of Women (2 November 2010)

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/are_women_more_compassionate_than_men

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130408111841AAwBfyC

http://www.angryharry.com/Who-Is-More-Empathic-Men-Or-Women.htm

http://goingyourownway.com/showthread.php?638-The-Female-Psychosis-part-1-Egocentrism

Elsewhere in this blog see:

On being male or female (incl. innate differences, stereotyping and so on)

On privilege, respect, and entitlement

Mostly female perpetrators, so child abuse is a gendered crime then?

On violence carried out by women and girls

Are feminists truly committed to equality for all women and girls?

In another post I question the extent to which feminists are concerned about equality for men and boys (they’re not). In this post I wanted to focus instead on women and girls.

Every day we hear another feminist scorning those who query some or all aspects of feminist ideology because, you know, feminism is just about achieving equality … BUT

How about equality for American women of colour? Poor women in western countries? Transgender women? Sex-workers? Other women who hold views or choose lifestyles at odds with feminist ideology – for example ‘pro-life’ women or conservatives?

How about equality for women in developing countries?

How much do the feminist hierarchy care about fighting for recognition, freedom and equality for these women?

In some cases privileged white western feminists don’t even care about the rights of other white western women. This occurs, for example, in the case of conservative and/or anti-feminist women (internalised misogyny=they deserve it), or where defending women’s rights would undermine the feminist narrative.

For example, you could almost hear the rapid intake of feminists breath when Olympic volleyball star Kerri Walsh Jennings stated that “I was born to have babies“.

To take another example, consider the silence of feminists in relation to the scandal at Rotherham in the U.K or the sexual assault of women in Europe by Muslim economic refugees as discussed in this blog post.

Take a look at:

The media featured protests by Iranian women in September 2022, but somehow failed to mention that most of those being beaten and arrested by government authorities there were men. In fact in this article it’s claimed that a defining feature of the latest protests is that they “are led by women”

Women of colour feminists are bringing white women feminists to their knees (16 May 2018)

Rich women who promote feminism are gigantic hypocrites (8 October 2017)

Rita Panahi: Sisterhood ignores sexism and vile abuse aimed at conservatives (11 June 2017)

The ‘Women’s March on Washington’ Shows Why Feminism Is Dying (18 January 2017) USA

Liberal Party staffer and bikini model Tamara Candy reveals she has been hired by MP George Christensen – purely for her academic qualifications (4 March 2016) A similar article appeared in pro-feminist news.com.au. Pretty-shaming (or even subtle slut-shaming) is apparently quite OK when the target is on the conservative side of politics and admits she is not a feminist.

The new oppressed class – top tier female managers. Feminism just doing it’s bit for elite, wealthy white women (3 March 2016) Australia. Reddit discussion thread with linked article.

Don’t be that woman (on women’s involvement in sex trafficking) 21 October 2015

Muslim Woman Destroys Feminism (22 September 2015) Video

The single most humiliating moment in Jessica Valenti’s public life (26 August 2015) Video

Feminists don’t challenge radical Islam because real misogynists are terrifying (9 June 2015)

As ISIS brutalizes women, a pathetic feminist silence (7 June 2015)

White Women, Please Don’t Expect Me to Wipe Away Your Tears (15 December 2014)

Laverne Cox gets naked, Exposes radical feminist exclusionism (April 2015)

Proof positive that feminists don’t care about women (27 March 2015)

This is what I mean when I say “White Feminism” (10 January 2014)

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/adele-tomlin/white-feminism_b_4477351.html

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2014/01/15/white-feminism-nearing-endpoint/

http://www.dailydot.com/society/helen-lewis-intersectionality-bullying-feminism/

Feminism, American style (23 June 2014)

Feminists ignore the real root of misogyny (1 December 2014)

The current dominant variant of feminism is increasingly being recognised as being largely controlled by, and acting in the interests of, well-educated white women. This ruling feminist clique demonstrates little more than a token appreciation of (or interest in) the challenges faced by poorer women and/or women outside the western bloc. They are by no means shy, however, to speak on their behalf.

See Alain Soral, French writer and subversive activist, on feminism (video)

And interestingly, the privileged uber-feminists are just as catty and defensive when called out by their less-advantaged sisters as they are when men try to join the feminist ~~conversation~~ soliloquy.

In this feminist blog post the author states “I saw the same kinds of things happening – white feminists reacting defensively to criticism, women of color being silenced or ignored or attacked.”

She and others like her are basically saying that women of color have unique life experiences, and can offer a different and valuable perspective. Theirs is a perspective which is foreign to white feminists, who should listen to them and understand their issues rather than putting words in their mouth and/or telling them what they need. No doubt very laudable advice. Why, it might even be applied to how white feminists interact with men. But oh no, silly me! For not only are our genes different, but so too are our chromosomes.

Thus when it comes to men (and presumably also men of colour) the author shares this insight:

If the issues concerned a bunch of women and men in arguing over whether something were sexist or not, there would be no question of who was right. When you have a group of men ganging up and claiming that the women in the room are being oversensitive and irrational and seeing sexism where there is none (we have all been in this room before, I think), we all know the men are full of bullshit. It is an egregious show of male privilege.

Well I’m seeing sexism too now, so does this mean I’m NOT full of bullshit?

When I read the author’s “About” page, I couldn’t help thinking that we could substitute men for women of colour. Let’s try it now:

“I believe in the struggle for equality of all people regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, etc. This struggle means recognizing and fighting discrimination wherever it exists.”

This is especially true when it is within our own ranks. So let’s stop burying our heads in denial. Let’s recognize the hypocrisy of claiming to fight oppression while simultaneously acting as oppressors ourselves. Listen to the words of your ~~sisters~~ brothers who do not have your ~~white privilege~~ ‘Y’ chromosome. Do not get angry and blame them for your faults. Instead, listen.

Because it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to be wrong sometimes — everyone is. But it’s not okay to deny those mistakes, to refuse to change or learn from them, to insist we are perfect the way we are. In doing so, we keep the same old systems of hierarchy and oppression in place.

And isn’t that just what we criticize patriarchy for doing?”

How about poor women in Mauritius being paid 62p an hour to make ‘This is what a feminist looks like’ T-shirts that sold in the UK for 45 British pounds? And then the feminist group that marketed the T-shirts tried to bury the issue. For an January 2015 update on that issue read this article.

And here is the story about the life of an Australian Aboriginal woman, Bess Price. See what she thinks about the efforts of left-leaning white feminist women to help achieve equality for her people.

What about the Rotherham child abuse scandal in the UK? Did the global feminist movement swing into action to address this shocking example of ‘rape culture’? Hmm. not exactly, no. Perhaps if the abusers were white lacrosse players with plummy accents there might have been a bit more to get excited about.

And how about the negative & patronising feminist view of women who elect not to join (or remain in) the paid workforce … much has been written on that subject. Here’s a recent example:

‘The toxic legacy of Superwoman: Career women insist feminism means ALL women having jobs, but could that belief blight the lives of mothers – and their children?‘ (5 February 2015)

Feminism has been hijacked by white middle-class women (13 February 2015)

Finally, and I’m not sure that this is the most appropriate place to post this link, but in this Youtube video a woman of colour compares the use of the term ‘misogynist’ nowadays with the historical use of the term ‘nigger’.

Western men with Asian women: Gender relations through a different frame of reference

Those who have spent a reasonable amount of time in Thailand would have recognised a strange and intriguing dynamic between western men, western women and Thai women. It is of particular interest to yours truly as it provides an opportunity to examine – from a different perspective – the current state of play between the sexes in western countries. And it’s not a pretty sight.

What is happening is that increasing numbers of western guys, including resident expats and tourists, are seeking Asian wives and girlfriends. This is occurring at the same time that many men are rejecting marriage entirely as is discussed in this further blog post.

When this subject gets raised in an online discussion forum the same issues and the same progression of arguments tend to be represented. Alternatively, if there is a (Caucasian) female moderator in the mix, the discussion thread is usually very quickly shut down.

Female contributors to these discussions accuse the men of (at best) having an ‘Asian fetish’, but more often than not as possessing one or more of the following characteristics:

latent peadophiles attracted to the petite stature of Asian women
socially inept losers who “couldn’t get a woman in their own countries”
ugly, fat, smelly and drunk men who are seeking a submissive slave
frightened of “strong, independent women” and unable to cope with a partnership of equals

Female contributors invariably begin by feigning concern for the welfare of their Asian sisters. Comments are made regarding western men exploiting women of limited means, who are driven to consort with them due only to economic imperatives. Once the men return fire, things turn nasty with many western women then turning on Asian women … labelling them scheming prostitutes who are only interested in ripping off western men (who deserve what they get).

Male contributors to such fora frequently reflect on their earlier unsatisfactory dealings with western women, often ending with costly divorce settlements. Sometimes men clarify that their attraction to Asian women is not one of racial objectification, but rather indicative of an attraction to certain personal characteristics that are more prevalent amongst women in Asian countries.

These attributes include gracefulness and femininity, loyalty, and a much reduced propensity for combativeness. Many men appreciate that women’s expectations regarding the roles of men and women are better defined and (more importantly) transparently and consistently applied.

At times interesting insights are offered by Asian women who have moved to western countries. With but a few exceptions they support the comments from western men regarding the selfishness and contempt shown by many western women (in their dealings with them).

There are but a few exceptions whereby Asian women – invariably university students – complain of the attention they receive (example/example/example). I suspect a factor here would often be a desire on the part of the Asian girl to allay jealousy on the part of female friends (i.e. a strategy to deal with intrasexual competition).

Discussions within feminist web sites are uniformly contemptuous towards western men with Asian partners. As an example, I came across this statement in a paper on the SPLC web site:

“The men’s movement also includes mail-order-bride shoppers, unregenerate batterers, and wannabe pickup artists who are eager to learn the secrets of “game”—the psychological tricks that supposedly make it easy to seduce women. “

Nice jibe. That article, by the way, was penned by a feminist foot-soldier by the name of Arthur Goldwag who is discussed here. And while we’re on the topic of feminist lapdogs, here’s David Futrelle with his words of overblown inanity on the subject of those men preferring foreign partners.

Yes indeed, feminists really do get quite a burr in their panties when it comes to white men partnering with women from another culture (another example). Ah, and not only are men allegedly attracted to Asian women because they are perceived to be submissive – the feminist author of this article suggests that the same motivation applies to men who partner with deaf women.

The depth of anger and bitterness felt by some feminists about a trend that they perceive as crafty western men bucking the system, is such that steps are being taken to address this ‘loophole’. There appear to be two main strategies in train:

1. Apply progressively stronger pressure on governments in both source and destination countries to reduce the number of marriages between western men and women from Asian and/or developing countries. In particular this will involve increasing the cost and degree of difficulty associated with obtaining spouse or fiance visas for foreign wives to achieve residency status in western countries. The argument put forward to justify this will be an alleged strong nexus between non-western partners (who will be painted alternately as either vulnerable ingenues or devious scammers) and organised crime or domestic abuse. Expect to see ‘woozles’ aplenty as well as heavy use of terms like ‘mail-order brides’, human-trafficking, and sexual servitude. (Example)

An example of existing legislation with this aim is the US ‘International Marriage Broker Regulation Act‘. See also this article and readers comments about the situation in Sweden.

In Australia, as of April 2019, men must pass a character test to bring their spouse into Australia and any history of domestic violence (real or alleged) will be a obstacle to visa approval. Just as allegations of abuse have become weapons for use in child custody cases, soon ex-wives may be able to make remarriage of their former spouse more costly and difficult. There’s a further article here, but still no hint as to specifically what constitutes “a history of violence”.

This August 2019 article may also put fear into men considering marriage to a foreign national, in relation to the potential for false accusations to be made against them.

Even without altering the rules, people can be discouraged from taking this marriage route simply by making the process more drawn-out and expensive. This web site states that as of January 2019 the waiting period for a partner visa (with partner offshore) was 30-46 months, after submission of all necessary paperwork.

2. Dissuade foreign women from entering into long-term relationships with western men on the basis of scare tactics, i.e. an alleged high level of personal risk to them.

An example of this can be seen in an August 2014 article in the Bangkok Post, entitled ‘Australia’s hidden abusive migrant marriages‘. This article seeks to send a strong message to Thai women that they face grave risks should they relocate to a western country. Yet typical of feminist attempts to manipulate public opinion, it is heavy on claims and very light on information that would put threat levels into a meaningful context. In this case the information provided is quite inadequate in helping women assess the actual degree of risk (see also readers comments).

Other related examples can be seen at One third of migrant and refugee women experience domestic violence, major survey reveals (30 June 2021), and at Thai Women Sweden, relationships with Swedish men and Thai Wives (12 April 2012)

These types of articles/reports can be viewed in several possible contexts, including:

the desire of feminists to exaggerate public perception of the scale and nature of domestic violence, with a view to expanding the scale of government funding (example)
the desire of feminists to recruit more women to feminist ideology
intra-sexual competition on the part of Caucasian women, who are concerned at seeing Caucasian men overlook them in favor of Asian women

Further sources of information and insight regarding this theme:

Why it is so hard to date in Australia right now (28 June 2024) Cry me a river

The Appeal of Asian Beauty: What Draws Western Men to Asian Women (17 October 2023)

I’m a ‘passport bro’: We want ‘traditional’ wives, not ‘mail order brides’ (2 June 2023) TLDR version: ‘Real men would choose us instead’

Domestic and family violence and your visa (1 April 2023) Newly created regulatory mechanism affecting migrants to Australia

It’s terrorism when racism and Asian fetishisation intersect, by Cathy Ngo (22 March 2021)

Australians to undergo domestic violence check to sponsor overseas partner (13 October 2020)

Migrant women are trapped in the living hell of violent abuse (2 March 2020) Australia

Japanese model divorces husband after literally spending all his money (15 January 2020) Obviously there are some gold-diggers in every culture, so some degree of caution – by both men & women – is always desirable.

American’s immigration emergency: Their spouses could be deported or exiled if they seek green cards (20 February 2019) USA. Granted, the focus of this article is on women marrying foreign husbands, but what’s the bet that the main underlying factor is discouraging foreign women.

The ‘Path to Nowhere’ report by ANROWS based on ‘the (alleged) urgent need to overhaul migration laws to protect domestic violence victims (women in Australia on temporary visas)’ (January 2019). See related Tweet

Government data reveals US Immigration issued visas to thousands of child brides spouses (12 January 2019) Stopping underage brides? Sounds entirely reasonable, but then wait until gender-neutral and potentially critical eyes become diverted, and then the system can be derailed to suit feminist objectives.

‘Deport my wife’: Woman hits herself to ‘frame husband for domestic violence’ (3 December 2018)

Americans Conned into Marrying Immigrants for Green Cards (14 July 2018)

Tied in a knot: the Thai wives who go abroad (5 March 2017) I have great trouble believing the accuracy of these stories, let alone the implication that they represent a common pattern of events. The readers of this discussion thread seem to hold a similar opinion. Further, the women quoted in the article such as academic (Ms) Dusadee Ayuwat, appear to be of feminist orientation.

This is why I’ve lived in Japan for 12 years (11 November 2016) Discussion thread with linked video.

A woman’s view as to why men are deserting Western women for Asian women (August 2016) Reddit discussion thread with linked video

Why is a racial “fetish” looked negatively upon as racist, but not preference for other specific physical traits (such as eye color, height, etc) (7 July 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Foreign Women Are Not the Answer (NAFWALT) (9 May 2016) One would be foolish to suggest that marrying a(ny) foreign woman is a good strategy for a(ny) Caucasian man dissatisfied with western women. Then again, too many are willing to rush in and forego getting to know their future partner, her family and her culture, so a reality check is probably in order.

Media attacks Yellow Fever but ignores more common White Fever (17 February 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

The Myth of Yellow Fever (19 January 2015)

Feminists versus Yellow Fever by Willard Losinger (2 September 2014) Highly recommended reading

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/expatlife/9972174/The-Old-Sexpats-Club-members-and-their-young-Thai-women.html#disqus_thread The article is very negative and biased, but is entirely typical of mainstream media coverage of the issue. There are, however, some very insightful readers comments. (My own comments were provided using the pseudonym ‘Notyouraveragejoe’)

Asian Women and White Men (14 September 2014)

Feminists versus mail-order brides (9 August 2014)

Thai Women Sweden, relationships with Swedish men and Thai Wives (thailovelines.com) (12 April 2012)

Why white men prefer Asian women (undated)

http://diaryofamunchkin.blogspot.com.au/2009/02/why-farang-girls-hate-thailand.html

http://alt.support.short.narkive.com/CKzOA1Vj/why-white-women-hate-thailand

https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups#!topic/soc.culture.thai/G4grWatbzxw (“Unhappy farang girls who cant get a screw”). An extract from which reads:

I was approached by a western girl in Phuket who was obviously having a hard time with the lack of attention. She almost threw herself at me and said quietly in my ear that she and her mate were out looking to get laid. i was in the star wars nightclub at the time in patong surrounded by few hundred thai lovelies. back in England obviously i thought it would be a dream come true to get a girl acting like this. however in Thailand we have the upper hand so i decided to use it. I told her if that was the case that she was maybe in the wrong place and perhaps she should try her luck elsewhere. She looked like i had thrown molten metal in her face. This was beginning to give me far more enjoyment than shagging her ever would.
‘What do you mean’, she responded.
“I mean look around you’ I replied and pointed to all the thai ladies.
I continued to tell her how the arrogance of the western female had become increasingly offputting and thats why most males in the know were now coming to thailand. She then tried to come over all softly, softly and tried to explain she wasn’t one of these types. She then put her arms around me and whispered ‘please’ in my ear.
I was loving this. I finally pushed her away and said that i wasn’t the slight bit interested.
I could see her the tears of humility rise in her eyes and then she stormed off.
I felt a feeling of power wash over me that i’d never felt before.
Western females do this to men all the time in the west and it was superb to be able to enact the same punishment.
She was lucky though. i could of got her to buy me drinks all night whilst pretending to be interested and then gone off with someone else and the end of the night!
(Mod: Ouch! No wonder many men consider Thailand to be the place where western womens chickens have come home to roost!)

http://huahinforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=3699

http://www.bangkokdiaries.com/2008/06/22/why-farang-men-like-thai-girls-and-hate-farang-women/

http://www.bigmangobar.com/blog/reader-submissions/2009/12/01/western-world-women-hypocrisy-with-prostitution-www-doublestandardbitches-com-by-munutkangkao/

Tourism Thailand slammed ‘creepy’ ad (2 March 2015) Wonder if the stalker angle was really the only “creepy” thing about this ad

The following articles or discussion threads are not specific to Thailand:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/613599-young-men-giving-up-on-marriage/ This discussion is in the ladies sub-forum at ‘Thaivisa’, a roosting place for frustrated western women living in Thailand. Input is strictly controlled by ghastly entitled feminist moderators like ‘Boo’ who suspend or ban male contributors with relish.

Example of discussion thread where Op expresses interest in travelling to Asia to meet women

Why white women hate Asian women (20 December 2006)

Scandinavian men leaving feminists to themselves (25 January 2013)

My sweet and sour dating experience: An expat career woman on Beijing flings (24 November 2013) with a reddit discussion that includes this post:

“When-ever you read a news story that seems a bit hateful, reverse the genders. Then ask yourself: “would this have been published with the reversed genders?” Imagine a guy, travelling to a foreign country, complaining about the “less than average” women getting handsome men and the women’s resulting ‘inflated egos’. Then displaying the racist attitudes toward the locals that they dated. Would a main stream media organization DARE to print something as offensive?“

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=11198&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 (Mod: Warning to sensitive readers, this one is quite harsh but included here to show the degree of upset evident amongst some men)

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/07/25/marketing-asian-women-to-anti-feminist-men/ (Mod: The article offers no useful insights but the comments that follow include some interesting & quite heated exchanges)

http://bettyfokker.wordpress.com/2013/04/24/priss-pot-and-the-mail-order-bride/ (Bitter feminist perspective on the issue of western men marrying Asian women)

http://www.vagabondish.com/female-foreign-japan/ Blog article written by western woman in Japan complaining about being invisible (this article was discussed in this thread)

And here’s another related thread, but this one is about guys married to Filipinos: http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1kr801/

And in closing, who in their right mind would NOT understand western men not wishing to be with a woman like the author of this article? Hmmm?

Related posts within my blog:

On Australian men seeking foreign partners

Don’t talk to me! No wait. Talk to me!

On modern dating culture #Cringe

The ‘Marriage Strike’ and MGTOW

Deep down in places that feminists don’t talk about at parties (On the notion of a ‘pussy cartel’)