Dissing shy guys and fat women: Yep, another feminist double-standard

Shyness is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness especially when a person is in proximity to other people. This commonly occurs in new situations or with unfamiliar people.

Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have a negative effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems.

Both shyness and obesity have a physiological, psychological/behavioural and genetic dimension. To some extent, and depending on the individual, both shyness and obesity may be involuntary rather than chosen patterns of behaviour. In both cases certain negative stereotypes are assigned to members of these two groups by people of both genders. So while they are different issues, they are also similar in some ways.

Despite these similarities, however, the feminist approach to these two groups of people is quite different. Many feminists think that dissing shy guys is perfectly acceptable because they recognise them as losers, sociopaths and/or misogynists. On the other hand feminists stridently assert that dissing fat women is reprehensible, and that such women deserve our respect and support. Why is this so?

It is worth noting that the feminist attitude towards shy guys is inconsistent not just in relation to their approach to chunky women, but also with respect to negative feminist attitudes towards stereotypically masculine patterns of behaviour, particularly assertive and controlling behaviours.

Shy guys:

Just google on ‘shy guys misogynist’, ‘shy guys MRA’ or ‘shy guys sociopath’ and you’ll quickly uncover feminist/white knight gems like these:

The plight of the bitter nerd: Why so many awkward, shy guys end up hating feminism (10 January 2015)


Are nice guys sociopaths? by David Futrelle (19 August 2011)

Finally, this article by Ian Miles Cheong discusses feminist concerns regarding the nerdy men portrayed in the TV series ‘The Big Bang Theory’ (3 September 2017)

Fat women:

Is Fat a Feminist Issue? Exploring the Gendered Nature of Weight Bias (19 June 2011)

14 Painful Examples Of Everyday Fat-Shaming (16 December 2013)

10 Frightening Ways We Discriminate Against Fat People (27 September 2013)

This author dares to suggest hypocrisy when comparing feminist outrage about ‘manspreading’ versus the shaming of fat women – and is rubbished by feminist readers (27 June 2015)


One thought on “Dissing shy guys and fat women: Yep, another feminist double-standard”

  1. Shyness like obesity is multifactored. Sometimes, to observe and not speak is a wiser course of action than opening one’s mouth. If everyone was a social butterfly, real work would not get done. Therefore, “shy” men have important roles in our society.

    Obese women also have an important role: Someone has got to gobble up the agricultural surplus otherwise commodity prices fall. And then there is the “diet” industry which would fail if it weren’t for so many weight-challenged women desperately trying to regain or retain some measure of attractiveness.

    Plenty of “shy” men grow up to be hugely successful and their sexual market value climbs. Perhaps even some become so successful that they buy their obese wives stomach stapling procedures, liposuction, a personal trainer, etc. Others simply play the field of svelte, socially outgoing girlfriends. Others marry social climbers who proceed to undertake all the social heavy lifting on behalf of them both.

    I therefore contend that the feminist hypocrisy on this particular issue is merely a smokescreen for envy on the part of women who have nothing going for them; and white knights who will demonize other men for any reason or none.

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