I thought women were meant to be more empathetic?

Empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Those banging the drum about how more women should be promoted to senior management sometimes seek to support their position with sexist generalisations about how women tend to be more ethical, collegial, empathetic, and so on and so forth.

Earlier generations of Australian women were mostly empathetic to a fault. Nowadays, definitely not so much.

Empathy with the resident citizens of overseas countries

Some time ago I was reading the results of a survey of overseas travelers. It found that most travelers were disturbed by displays of cultural insensitivity by fellow travelers. Unfortunately the survey did not breakdown its results on the basis of variables such as gender.

This got me thinking about my own experiences living and travelling in Asia.

Thai culture is quite conservative but Thais will rarely inform tourists when they have crossed the border of social acceptability, unless they venture far beyond the bounds of decent behaviour. Expressions of polite conduct such as kreng jai – the Thai version of our ‘good manners’ – is highly important to them.

Mention Thailand and most people think of men behaving badly. And indeed some men do … as do some women. The difference is that those western men who misbehave tend to do so within touristy nightlife areas, in many cases within recognised ‘red light areas’. Their behaviour generally involves drunken debauchery within the confines of go-go bars or the like. There is nothing laudable about this, but at least the local Thai people in such areas tend to be inured to witnessing this type of behaviour. Outside these areas I have witnessed exceedingly few examples of western male travellers displaying overt cultural insensitivity.

In contrast I have seen many examples of western women behaving inappropriately outside the bar precincts. A common issue is that of wearing skimpy and revealing clothing in and around temples, and in public places such as markets or parks. This occurs despite the fact that any guidebook on Thailand clearly states that such clothing is considered unacceptable, as well as there being signs installed in many locations.

On this note I happened across the following comments by a female editor of an English-language magazine in Thailand:

“Then there is the trio of English lasses who were found wandering around Wat Phra Singh a few weeks back in their bikinis! It has nothing to do with cultural insensitivity or ignorance. It is just a willful refusal to give a crap. Their grandmothers would have taken a wooden spoon to their bottoms had they trotted into the local church dressed that way.”

I have never confronted anyone about this particular transgression, but from discussions in online forums the attitude seems to be “this is my style, why should I have to change to suit them?”, or they are old-fashioned/sexist and *they* should change. I have also noticed plenty of instances of western women exhibiting exceptionally intrusive, pushy and loud behaviour in public places (particularly for example during community events).

Anyway that’s what this correspondent has noticed in going about his daily business, but discussions with Thai women revealed some other issues. These were women who either ran businesses, or worked in other peoples shop-front businesses (not bar-related, I hasten to add). I must first explain that Thai women are generally in awe of western women, and in general there is no underlying animosity whatsoever.

One after the other these women told me similar accounts of their dealing with western female customers, and of their surprise, dismay and occasional anger at the rude behaviour they often encountered. This included body language (like eye rolling and pained expressions) plus clicking noises of annoyance, and rude gestures and insulting words.

As noted, these were just my own observations – what do others think? Are western women travelling overseas less inclined to observe and maintain local cultural decorum, than western men? And if so, why? Do you think it might it be related to an increasingly overdone feeling of entitlement, and of being beyond criticism/censure? That sense of feeling oneself to be a ‘special snowflake’?

Singer ‘Bjork’ clearly thought she was a very special snowflake indeed when she saw fit to assault this reporter at the airport in Bangkok. And here’s another western woman showering the Thais with empathy.

TikToker sentenced to two years prison for pork video in Bali, Indonesia (21 September 2023)

Unwritten rules of wearing swimwear in public revealed (20 September 2023)

Paloma Faith under fire after sunbathing in ‘blasphemous’ bikini (8 August 2023)

Jackie O’s humiliating wardrobe malfunction during overseas holiday (22 June 2023) But wait, you’ve missed the most important part … Was the valet’s name, Chad?

Woman exposes genitals on motorbike in Bali (30 May 2023)

‘Crazy Caucasians’: Bali community slam’s German tourist’s naked act (26 May 2023)

Tourist slammed for ‘disgusting’ photo at Auschwitz (19 April 2023)

Bali cracks down on how tourists behave and dress in proposed campaign (8 March 2023)

World Cup’s ‘hottest fan’ slammed for disrespecting locals by wearing G-string swimsuit in Qatar (25 November 2022)

Tourist faces backlash after dancing on Mayan pyramid in Mexico (22 November 2022)

Australian tourist hits back at trolls who criticised her outfit while visiting an orphanage in Bali (16 November 2022)

Bikini models roasted for stripping in front of Eiffel Tower (7 November 2022)

Australian influencer slammed for Indonesian meat market video (25 October 2022) The T&A show she put on doesn’t seem to have been worth commenting upon

Australian knuckle fighter Tai Emery celebrates stunning KO victory by flashing crowd (4 September 2022)

No bans, but bikinis are just not Thai (30 July 2022)

Influencer claims they were kicked out of supermarket for being ‘hot’ (23 July 2022) “I wear it in Brazil on a daily basis”

Tourists can no longer walk around in a bikini in Sorrento (8 July 2022)

Influencer Alina Yoga may be charged with spreading pornography (6 May 2022)

Abbie Chatfield angers Italian men after calling out ‘sexist’ menus (7 April 2022) How ridiculous is this? Abbie and the sisterhood should all pay their share, and they’re welcome to have a menu with prices. The thing is, they don’t want to know prices to pay – they want to know to gloat.

Woman shamed for ‘distracting’ breasts at dinner (20 April 2022)

Mikaela Testa makes candid cheating admission to fans (30 March 2022) “Recently the TikTok star said she was told to ‘cover up’ on holiday. But fans pointed out she continued to share pictures from the island that showed lots of skin.”

Influencer slammed for tone-deaf Ukraine post promoting bikinis (1 March 2022)

Russian influencer facing jail over ‘insulting’ nude church photo (13 January 2022)

Australian socialite, Amy Castano flaunts Dubai‘s strict dress code (5 January 2022)

Woman arrested after shocking video of hurling spicy soup in restaurant worker’s face goes viral (19 November 2021)

Russian model forced to apologise over nude photo outside church (2 November 2021)

Influencer Alesya Kafelnikova apologises for nude photo with elephant (25 February 2021)

‘Super offensive’: Rihanna criticized for wearing necklace of Hindu god in topless photo (17 February 2021)

Tourist arrested over naked photos on sacred bridge in India (2 September 2020)

Naked tourist caught on video climbing onto Buddhist shrine in Thailand (12 August 2020)

‘No respect for the locals’: Bali tourist blasted over ‘shameful’ bikini act (30 October 2019)

Woman fined for tiny ‘piece of string’ bikini on Philippines island (14 0ctober 2019)

Bizarre moment British woman ‘bites trader’s hand’ as she tried to free caged chickens in Morocco (3 September 2019)

Tourists at ancient temple in Bali blasted for ‘disgusting’ actions with holy water (14 August 2019)

And then there’s the behaviour of the USA women’s team towards the Thai team in the 2019 World Cup match (12 June 2019)

The incredible outburst that got this tourist jailed for six months in Bali (8 February 2019) And what a fine ambassador for Britain was this particular ‘lady’

Meanwhile back in the west I have noticed *many* newspaper items like these:

Woman livid when told her pants were ‘too short’ for supermarket (13 August 2020) and Melbourne woman claims she was targeted by budget airline Jetstar (6 November 2019)

And in another blog post we can see that some western women choose to behave in a racist and/or culturally insensitive manner when they are at home.

Some other incidents wherein which women display an absence of empathy and/or an abundance of narcissism:

22yo woman takes upskirt photos in Bangkok, Thailand (26 March 2024) Video

Vladimir Putin launches manhunt for topless Ukranian model (20 February 2024)

Woman’s ‘disgusting’ act in change room act Melbourne op shop (11 January 2024)

“Nobody ever says a thing about men’s bodies,” says Billie Eilish … Because girls are nice”. (November 2023) What a truly ridiculous comment. Original quote here … Related Twitter thread here

Ukrainian sisters arrested for twerking on the graves of fallen soldiers, face 5 years in prison (30 August 2023)

Teen busted carving name on Colosseum (17 July 2023)

Second woman could be deported for nude photo shoot in Bali (13 April 2023)

Awkward moment lingerie-clad model dressed as a ‘sexy nun’ is confronted by a churchgoer: ‘This is a cathedral, show some respect’ (10 January 2023)

‘I’m brilliant’: Female crime boss who ran $440,000-a-year sex worker ring jailed (20 June 2022)

I got a ‘dress code’ violation at Disney World over my revealing top (25 March 2022) USA. Another day in the life of White Trash

Woman who blackmailed couple over photos of dying child appeals against jail sentence (9 February 2021) Australia

Judge accused of drinking, having sex in court removed from bench (1 September 2020) USA

Influencer apologises for defacing ancient cliffs with Instagram handle (13 August 2020)

Influencer slammed over ‘inappropriate behaviour’ in popular Bali beach (15 June 2020)

Outrage as two female tourists pose with their Mercedes SUV inside Beijing’s Forbidden City (20 January 2020)

Woman threw cat at neighbour’s door because ‘it kept coming into her garden’ (2 July 2019) UK

Feminist, Chidera Eggerue, doesn’t have time to worry about male suicide (Tweet dated 14 March 2019)

‘Fight Club’ organized by teachers at day care caught on camera (30 October 2018)

Tourists facing 10 years in Thai jail over ‘ridiculously drunk’ prank (26 October 2018)

Video shows nurses doubled over laughing as World War 2 veteran dies (19 November 2017) USA

‘Who are they gonna believe, you or me?’: Texas prosecutor fired after drunken Uber tirade (14 November 2017)

When making a sandwich is a crime against feminism, by Miranda Devine (7 October 2017) The lack of empathy by feminists towards others is legendary – here’s another example

‘Poison Ivy’, 17, bullies ‘weak’ men into degrading themselves online before encouraging them to kill themselves (26 October 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here.

Women more likely to get angry behind the wheel (20 October 2016) UK

First-ever survey of the motivation behind disability hate crime (9 May 2016)

“Around half (49%) of all attacks were group based. Women were involved in most group attacks (men were more involved in lone attacks).”

Inside house of horrors full of dead pets including one dog still chained to its kennel in shocking case of animal neglect (5 May 2016) UK

Rotherham woman offered safe haven to troubled girls – then pimped them out (27 February 2016) UK

Woman pretended to have cancer to get money from her boyfriend so she could pay for plastic surgery (12 February 2016) UK

‘It was the worst flight of my life’ (11 December 2015)

Secret Service Agents: Hillary is a nightmare to work with (2 October 2015)

Anesthesiologist trashes sedated patient — and it ends up costing her (23 June 2015) USA

Russia jails three young women for WWII memorial twerk (27 April 2015)

Egypt investigating how tourists filmed pornographic video near Giza pyramids (8 March 2015)

American sisters deported for naked photos at Angkor Wat (9 February 2015)

Kiwi tourist smashed Buddha statue in Cambodian temple (14 October 2014)

Other sources related to women and empathy:

Sydney teacher allegedly smokes cannabis from bong with students (11 February 2022)

TikTok user shares ‘underboob’ free $97 T-shirt hack at Disneyland (news.com.au) (15 June 2021)

Mum with autism claims she was ‘body shamed’ by Six Flags officer (news.com.au) (11 May 2021) with more details regarding her offensive behaviour here

Instagram ‘butt model’ goes viral for visiting tourists sites in New York (15 February 2021) USA. See, it’s “cheeky” when a woman does it.

Jetstar rules: Model Isabelle Eleanore told to cover up on flight (3 February 2021) Articles like this appear (just in the Australian media) on a weekly basis. News?

‘Bali bikini ban’ will help ‘transform mass tourism hot-spot’ (1 October 2018)

Charity boss jailed for stealing thousands meant for burns victims (13 June 2018)

I’ve Gotten Blown Off By Men So Much Lately That I’m Literally Questioning Everything (October 2017) Author displays total absence of understanding that men have been treated this way since forever (= well before the advent of dating apps!) Welcome to our world darling. Reader’s comments scathing but accurate.

Stereotype that women are kinder and less selfish is true, claim neuroscientists (10 October 2017)

Newsflash: Less Yelling Means More Sex (6 September 2017)

Gender differences in empathy (27 August 2016) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

Oxytocin Has a Dark Side, Says This Stanford Neurology Professor (6 July 2017)

The Absence of Empathy: Understanding the Psychology of Sociopathic Feminism (26 March 2016)

“You’re gonna get hit. It’s gonna hurt. Accept it.” Lessons from Krav Maga (14 March 2016)

Social contagion: Women more likely to yawn in response to others, study says (2 February 2016)

Ringleader in Texas’ biggest sex-trafficking ring sentenced to life in prison (20 January 2016) USA. This is not a rare exception – many women are involved in the running of human trafficking operations like this one.

Health experts warn of dangerous trend as survey finds women self-criticise eight times a day (4 January 2016) Perhaps the most worrying thing about these research findings is how little of the self-criticism relates to the impact of a women’s own behaviour on others around them … it’s all me, me, me

A Plea to Women (28 November 2015) Australia

The Empathy Gap – Fiamengo File Episode 4 (3 September 2015) Video

Woman’s Hour and the lack of understanding or empathy (1 September 2015) Reddit discussion thread

The only two “Fairy Tales” you need to understand women (1 August 2015)

Why do women have such a hard time empathizing with men? (3 April 2015)

Are men inferior to women? Let’s check the data, by Christina Hoff Sommers (30 March 2015) Video

The angry men of the Internet, by Jasmin Newman (March 2015) Australia

Men are selfish, uncaring idiots (23 December 2014)

No, I will NOT wrap all the presents. Why are women still responsible for the holiday joy? (10 December 2014)

Feminist’s perverse game to misrepresent Anti-fem righteous outrage (Youtube video) 27 July 2014

Q&A: Women are nurturing? How about cruel, especially to one another (24 August 2002)

Sorry, Martin Amis – your kindly women can do cruelty too (16 July 2010)