Much of the information in this blog post was previously included in an earlier post entitled ‘We’ve all heard of the gender ‘income gap’, but what about the ‘expense gap’?‘
The topic does, however, warrants its own post given that it is a significant issue in a number of regards, including:
- alimony represents a major financial burden which impacts primarily on men
- as the number of cases of men claiming alimony rises the divergent manner in which the media reports the issue is highly illustrative of enduring gender stereotypes
- the debate and political machinations surrounding alimony is a prime example of the extent to which feminist organisations oppose gender equality reforms that would benefit men.
The issue is also quite topical in the United States at the moment particularly in relation to the recently quashed legal reforms in Florida.
(Update: Florida Gov. DeSantis signs bill ending permanent alimony on 30 June 2023)
Both the terminology and nature of spousal maintenance/alimony varies from one country to the next, and even within the same country there may be significant variation from one state to the next. The primary focus on this post is the situation in the UK, Australia and the USA.
This woman created a stir by posting a video online presenting herself as a hard-done-by single mum. Then her ex-husband stepped in to address her fabrication (May 2024)
Parents failing to submit tax returns are skewing child support payments (25 June 2024) Pleasing to see journalists (from the ABC too!) acknowledging that parents who fail to pay child support are not confined to so-called ‘dead-beat dads’
More and more women are paying alimony to ex-husbands and they’re really not happy about it (14 October 2023) Reddit MensRights discussion thread, which includes link to this 3 December 2021 newspaper article
Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner shock divorce settlement (20 September 2023)
Former Magistrate Rodney Higgins breaks silence about relationship with Ashleigh Petrie (news.com.au) (9 August 2021) See what happens if we reverse genders? The media applies the logic that if feminists get the outcome they want, then all is well and it’s not particularly newsworthy. Failing that, and we have ourselves some male oppression.
LOL. Twitter Feminists GO CRAZY After Kelly Clarkson Is Ordered To Pay Her Ex! This Is TRUE EQUALITY – YouTube (29 July 2021)
I dobbed in my ex for avoiding to pay child support – now he owes me $30K (29 June 2021) Try reversing the genders in this article and see what reaction you’ll get
“It’s wrong and it’s extortion”: Halle Berry says it’s wrong for parents to use children to live a lifestyle they did not earn (9 February 2021) USA. This is mainly about child support rather than alimony, but it’s great to see some sympathy for men being expressed.
RHOBH’s Erika Jayne wants spousal support and legal fees paid after divorcing Tom Girardi, 81 (11 November 2020)
Finnish man ordered by court to pay alimony for a child resulting from his wife cheating with another man (19 October 2020)
Unable To Pay Maintenance To Fully Abled Wife, Court Sentences Man To 480-Days In Jail (29 January 2020)
Adele’s rumoured divorce settlement is *not* equality at work (9 April 2020)
Camille Grammer Awarded Half of Ex-Husband Kelsey Grammer’s Retirement Fund (3 November 2017) See reader’s comments
Why do most men want their wives to help their economic progress, but not ensure anything in return? (12 June 2017) This thread looks at the argument in favor of alimony.
I’m fighting my ex-wife for every person who’s been shafted by Britain’s divorce courts’ (4 June 2017) UK
Men ‘bullied’ out of generous divorce settlements by breadwinning wives (4 March 2017)
‘I’m NOT a gold digger’: The ex-wife vilified as a cold, cunning chancer after winning a huge rise in maintenance payments 15 YEARS after her divorce blasts back and says it’s all her ex’s fault (13 February 2017) UK
‘Divorced men doomed to life as a cash machine‘ by Martin Daubney (12 February 2017)
Fashion tycoon’s ex-wife wins £2.7m slice of his fortune more than a DECADE after they divorced as judge condemns him as a liar (26 January 2017)
Wife’s Capability To Earn No Reason To Reduce Maintenance Awarded To Her (20 January 2017) India
Custody, Child Support, and Alimony in the 50 States (2016)
Cancer center founder’s ex-wife seeks $400K/month as divorce trial opens (19 October 2016) USA
Men will only get equality in custody cases when women face some hard truths(26 August 2016) Ireland
“The family law researcher observed 493 judicial separation and divorce cases in 2010, which are ordinarily held in private. But she couldn’t find a single case where the wife was ordered to pay maintenance for children or a spouse, and had only seen the courts order joint custody in two cases.”
Don’t Blame Divorce on Money. Ask: Did the Husband Have a Job? (28 July 2016) Men, get ready for a triple whammy … employment redundancy->divorce->divorce rape/alimony (->suicide?)
Rich wives being told to get a job as judges clamp down on ‘meal ticket’ divorces – lawyers (20 July 2016) UK
A letter to … my wife, who won’t get a job while I work myself to death (2 July 2016) The flip side of this coin – the exploitation of many men begins long before they get divorced.
Supermodel Christina Estrada Wants Ex to Pay for Her $262 Million Lifestyle (29 June 2016) and she only gets 75 million pounds. Boo hoo! “The legal process had been “incredibly bruising and distressing,” she added.”
Father’s dying ‘wish’ voids woman’s divorce payout, say judges (11 June 2016) Australia
Are all women gold-diggers? (27 May 2016)
Johnny Depp protects $400 million fortune as he rejects Amber Heard’s request for spousal support in divorce papers (26 May 2016) No pre-nup … what were you thinking Johnny? And Amber, married only 15 months and already wealthy yet still feels justified in sticking out her paw for $50,000/month spousal support … ewww. Apparently she burns through $43,000/month (further details here). Hard on the heels of Johnny’s rejection of spousal support came Amber’s accusation of domestic violence (see here, here, and here) – but might this be a lie? Never fear, Clementine Ford knows who’s naughty and who’s nice (hint: vagina=nice). Alyssa knows he’s guilty too. So that’s at least two feminists. Jail the cad! And as for those women close to Johny speaking up in his defence – clearly, suffering from internalised misogyny.
David Hasselhoff No More Alimony!!! I Want to Retire (18 April 2016) Fair? Of course it isn’t – the word parasite springs to mind
Florida alimony profits and child custody litigation preserved by governor’s veto (16 April 2016)
Rosenblum: As times change, should alimony change, too? (25 March 2016)
Afeni Shakur And Whether Or Not Men Deserve Alimony (18 March 2016) USA
Florida Bar Association says it no longer supports alimony-reform bill it helped write (16 March 2016)
Divorcee wins 90 per cent of husband’s wealth in bitter court battle (14 March 2016) UK, with related Reddit discussion thread here. See Janet Bloomfield’s (a respected female MHRA) response to this judgement here.
Group pushes male-dominated S.C. Legislature to change permanent alimony law (1 March 2016) USA
The 11 richest women in Britain who mostly got their wealth through marriage (9 February 2016)
Family court robs men and demeans women by splitting property equally when a marriage ends (6 February 2016) Australia
Report: NJ woman sued for writing ‘bum’ and ‘loser’ on ex-spouse’s alimony checks (19 December 2015) More on this case in this discussion thread and linked article
John Cleese feels ‘free to do the things that interest him’ after paying off £12million divorce settlement to ex wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger (26 November 2015)
Breadwinning Women Are Driving Alimony Reform (18 November 2015) and related reddit discussion thread
Even though 37% of women earn more money than their husbands, only 3% of divorced men receive alimony (30 June 2015) Reddit discussion thread
Retired farmer must pay more in alimony than monthly income, Nebraska Supreme Court rules (27 June 2015)
Divorce Math: She gets 60%, plus alimony, plus “child” support, plus probably attorney fees (April 2015) Reddit mens rights discussion thread
Jason and Amanda Dufner divorce after three years of marriage (31 March 2015) Amanda gets a million a year … for what exactly?
Construction tycoon left ‘homeless’ after ex-wife wins 80% of his property in divorce (26 March 2015)
Forced to pay for a child that DNA proves isn’t his (24 March 2015)
Wife seeks more alimony over ex’s new lookalike girlfriend (20 March 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread
Former hippy wins right to claim ex’s post-divorce wealth (12 March 2015) The same court ruling is also discussed in this article (15 March 2015)
Are Moms Less Likely Than Dads To Pay Child Support? (26 February 2015)
Divorced wife told to get a job and stop living off her ex-husband (23 February 2015)
Woman sues ex-husband for a share of wealth he made years after they divorced (9 December 2014)
Why Do So Few Men Get Alimony? (20 November 2014) USA
Working woman in /r/legaladvice divorcing and is horrified that she has to give part-time-working ex-husband half her assets (15 November 2014)
Ex-wife of US oil baron to appeal $1 billion divorce award (13 November 2014)
State Orders Man to Pay $30,000 in Welfare Benefits for Child Both Mother and DNA Test Say isn’t his (24 October 2014)
Deadbeat moms? Should mothers be required to pay child support? (20 April 2014) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread
Jail Becomes Home for Husband Stuck With Lifetime Alimony (27 August 2013)
Halle Berry’s Child-Support Fight: Female Breadwinners Can’t Have It Both Ways (20 October 2014)
Businessman is ordered to pay £28,500 to ex-girlfriend in landmark court ruling because he led her to believe he would look after her for life (17 October 2014)
Veteran chooses jail over giving his disability money to ex-wife (17 September 2014)
Alimony is broken – But let’s not fix it (1 September 2014)
Who’s the Daddy? (23 October 2010) and related reddit discussion thread. Paternity testing should be mandatory where child support is sought – why is this idea being opposed?
The New Art of Alimony (31 October 2009)
I just love how a “prominent family lawyer” recently emerged from the woodwork to call for new pre-nuptial laws in Britain: “Lady Deech said on Radio 4’s Sunday Programme: ‘Lots of young women these days are working, earning well, and would feel it extremely unfair if a young man who they marry and perhaps leaves them is going to take with him a sizeable chunk of what they have worked so hard for.”
Oh, extremely Baroness! Presumably you’ve silently observed countless men get fleeced over past decades, but now that some women have moved into the position of primary bread-winner in the family, it’s suddenly time to act. Oh and have a read about what happened to Ms Luckwell.
And now for a bit of male-shaming:
“Bristol’s rep David Martin slammed Meyer for seeking child support despite being a decorated member of the Marine Corps that has received the Congressional Medal of Honor. “My values are such that a real American hero doesn’t ask for child support,” said Martin.” (Source)
Now consider the gall/hypocrisy of this feminist journalist as she berates a man who obtained a court-ordered settlement upon divorce (+ related reddit discussion thread).
See also:
On spousal maintenance in Australia
Give Your Money To Women: The End Game of Capitalism (10 August 2015)
