One possible alternative to pre-nuptial agreements

Today the Australian media reported on a High Court case involving a pre-nuptial agreement (‘pre-nup’) between a wealthy property developer and his younger bride, who he met via a “web site for potential brides”:

High Court tears up prenuptial agreement between property developer and online bride‘ (8 November 2017)

Pre-nuptial agreements have never been a magic bullet to prevent financial exploitation where one spouse (usually the man) takes far more assets into a marriage than the other. It has always been a case of it being better to have a pre-nup than nothing at all, in order to reduce the likelihood of subsequent divorce-rape.

In Australia, and elsewhere, even competently and ethically prepared pre-nups are subject to legal challenge. In the case cited above, the nature of the agreement was found to constitute ‘unconscionable conduct’. This was said to be on the basis of both a demand that the agreement be signed or the marriage would not go ahead, and with respect of the terms of the financial settlement set out in the agreement.

One alternative that might be considered would involve relatively minor changes to relevant Australian law. What is proposed here is by no means a complete fix, but it would represent at least a step in the right direction.

In Thailand, as in various other countries, the law differentiates between assets accumulated prior to marriage, and assets accumulated during the marriage:

Sin Somros is/are the marital assets or property of the marriage jointly owned by husband and wife, in general all properties acquired after the marriage (except those listed in section 1471 under 3) (Source)

Sin suan tua is property which is exclusively owned by only one of the spouses. The owner of the sin suan tua property is free to dispose of it without having to account to the other spouse. Under the Civil and Commercial Code (CCC), property comprising the sin suan tua of a spouse consists of: (i) property belonging to the spouse before marriage; (ii) property for personal use, dress or ornaments suitable for the spouse’s station in life, or tools necessary for carrying on the profession of the spouse; (iii) property acquired by the spouse during marriage through a will or gift if that property was intended to be sin suan tua; and (iv) the khongman (a betrothal gift). (Source)

Thai law also allows for couples to enter into a pre-nuptial agreement, the details of which are as set out here.

The reality is that the current divorce laws in western countries favour the interests of women and were written at a time when society was a very different place, for example pre-advent of no-fault divorce and at a time when most women were house-wives.

Read this other blog post to see what happens in a situation where the husband still typically brings far more assets into the marriage than the wife (indeed the wife is more likely to be in debt at the time of marriage), where most divorces are initiated by women, and where the court system is dominated by white knights and older gents guided more by chivalry than a genuine commitment to justice.

A situation where pre-marriage assets are quarantined from seizure seems to be eminently fairer to me, but which politician/s in Australia would publicly support it? Sadly, very few or none at the present time – and certainly no-one in the ranks of the major parties.

Failure to consider and introduce legal reforms such as this will only accelerate the trend of men avoiding marriage and de-facto relationships, and the deleterious social impacts arising from that.

It will be interesting to see if a positive outcome of same-sex marriage in Australia will be greater enthusiasm for law reform related to the distribution of assets in the event of divorce. When straight men are the only ones impacted then such reform is anything but urgent (think, ‘glacial’). Indeed we have already seen heightened interest in the reform of laws related to alimony and spousal support brought on by the increasing numbers of cases involving divorces involving female spouses as primary bread-winners.

See also:

How advice at the hairdresser’s to a millionaire’s ex might have changed prenups in Australia forever (10 November 2017)

Len & The Lamprey: The other side to the issue of financial abuse

I have been thinking of writing a post on this issue for some time, but was finally spurred into action after reading an article entitled ‘The financial abuse that affects 2 million Australian women‘, by Bianca Hartge-Hazelman. Bianca is the Founder & Chief Executive Officer of Financy, a finance publication for women. Bianca informs us that:

“Research indicates that financial abuse, at the hands of one partner over another in intimate relationships, is widespread and common in Australia.”

“Financial abuse is a form of domestic violence which each year costs the economy $15.6 billion, according to the National Council to Reduce Violence against Women and their Children (NCRVWC).”

So how many men are also subject to financial abuse at the hands of their partners? We don’t know as Bianca says nothing whatsoever about *that* side of the equation. Bianca’s article is by no means unusual in this regard, given that most articles on financial abuse completely ignore financial abuse perpetrated by women and/or cases where men are targeted for abuse.

Further subtle (or not so subtle) examples of this form of anti-male gender bias include:

Post-separation Financial Abuse Perpetrated Through Government Systems: A Survey of Australian Mothers’ Experiences of Child Support (19 September 2024)

Joint mortgages, by pro-feminist lobby group ‘Surviving Economic Abuse’ (undated)

Mobility scooter thief who left man to die is jailed (30 August 2024) UK

Woman jailed for murdering man who loved her (13 August 2024) UK

Stopping online financial abuse, by Catherine Fitzpatrick (29 July 2024)

My abusive ex-partner won’t let me sell my home or buy him out (24 July 2024)

‘I dated a man with a hidden gambling addiction and lost $10K’ (24 June 2024) Not one mention of female perpetration and/or male victims of financial abuse

Domestic abusers controlling survivors’ cash rife with 5.5 million UK women experiencing economic abuse (27 November 2023)

Influencer jailed for 23 years over horrifying ‘honey trap’ robbery (6 November 2023)

Financial abusers to be cut off from accounts as banks crack down (3 October 2023) Australia

I ask men to show me their bank balance on the first date because I only want to go out with wealthy guys – I need to know if I’m wasting my time (31 August 2023) USA

Rise of the middle-aged pension hunters (6 June 2023) UK

Surviving Economic Abuse Guide (UK 2023) “One in six women in the UK has experienced economic abuse by a current or former partner. The effects can last a lifetime, with some women never free of the abuser’s control”.

Redesign banking products to protect women from financial abuse: Report (22 November 2022) And take a look at page 5 of the full report (entitled ‘Financial Abuse’). Can you see any mention of men as victims? No, me neither.

Why Tinder swindler wants early release from jail (22 February 2022) One pussy-pass coming right up, ma’am

‘A perfect storm’: Up to 70,000 women may have been coerced into withdrawing super (21 February 2022) Not one hint of men perhaps being abused in this manner (and no proof that women are/were).

Early release of superannuation ‘opened up a frontier’ for financial abuse (27 October 2020)

‘I became a victim of domestic violence after he took over our finances’ (20 October 2020)

Woman cons $800,000 from Tinder dates for fake blueberry farm (22 September 2020)

Financial abuse personal story (28 May 2020) by Mama Mia

The problem we all need to talk about (14 May 2020)

Time for a ‘Fxxx off fund’? And other things we need to talk about on money (13 March 2020)

Romance scammers target vulnerable Australian women in $60m swindle (13 February 2020)

Gloves off as the abused take control‘ (18 August 2015)

He could check everything I bought‘ (6 July 2019)

How financial abuse left one woman $300,000 in debt‘, and ‘Preventing the financial abuse of women in Australia: Can intersectionality help?‘ (10 September 2019)

Here’s an article from the U.K., and whilst we are over there let’s take a quick look at the web site of ‘Surviving Economic Abuse‘ which starts by informing readers that “many women experience economic abuse”. Just women

I could spend hours hunting for relevant statistics, but what’s the point when feminists are invariably nonplussed when confronted with facts anyway. Instead I thought I would take a different tack and recount to you the experiences of a male friend of mine. Let’s call him ‘Len’, and let’s call his ex-wife ‘The Lamprey‘ (or TL for short).

Lamprey-09-Doug-Owen

Len is one of the countless men who have been – and still are being – subjected to financial abuse by women they love, or once loved. His financial exploitation remains ongoing, although the worst is certainly over. He loves his kids, and with a shared custody arrangement in place Len has no choice but to remain in fairly close contact with his ex.

And no, I can assure you that I am not Len, but I do know him well enough to guarantee the accuracy of this account.

Len worked hard and accumulated assets. Although only in his thirties at the time he met his future wife, he was on the way to securing the ability to retire in his 40’s. Anyway they met and fell in love, and moved in together. A little later they married and were subsequently blessed with two youngsters.

The Lamprey had already trained as a teacher and worked in that profession for about six months before latching onto Len. I think she had also done a very limited amount of modeling work. To my knowledge she hasn’t worked another day since the time she moved in with Len.

Whilst living with Len, TL *chose* not to work. AFAIK there was no pressure from Len either way. Len paid for domestic help (i.e. cleaner, nanny, etc), which was just as well given her aversion to grocery shopping and housework. She also sent the kids out to child care at the first opportunity. How lucky that TL had chosen a husband who didn’t mind cooking. So, you might be asking, what did she do with her time?

The Lamprey loved to spend Len’s money. She went out for long lunches with friends at expensive cafes, she went shopping for clothes, and sometimes she took herself to stay at (you guessed it) expensive health spa resorts.

One of TL’s less endearing habits was waiting for Len to come home from work and then – as he began cooking/helping kids with homework/etc, she would say “Oh, I might go and have a shower now“, not to be seen again until dinner was on the table.

All the time Len doted on his wife and kids. He didn’t fool around with other women despite having ample opportunity to do so. They occasionally quarrelled on the few occasions when Len raised the issue of TL’s selfishness and profligate spending, but he certainly was never abusive towards her. Mostly he just let it pass.

Len bought some land in a prestige location and set about building the house of his dreams. It was a long, tiring and costly process. When it was finally finished (after about 2 years) he then, with the now enthusiastic help of TL, set about furnishing it.

By some strange quirk or coincidence, soon after they moved into the new house, TL announced that she no longer loved Len and asked when he could move out. TL had already briefed a lawyer and went straight into ‘attack mode’ to get the most generous settlement achievable. Len was completely blind-sided. He refused to move out so TL rented an apartment – at Len’s expense of course.

As reality set in Len was heartbroken. He tried hard to get TL to attend counselling etc, but she was lukewarm on that idea. Upon realising she had little or no intention of continuing their marriage, and with the added stress of parenting, work and legal proceedings, Len descended into depression and required counselling and medication. His friends and family were worried about both his physical health and state of mind, and incredibly angry about TL’s behaviour.

Allow me to illustrate. On one occasion TL came to collect the children from Len’s house. Len was so ill that he had called an ambulance. TL could not even be bothered to wait with Len to ensure he was OK until the ambulance arrived.

Let’s halt at this point to consider what TL added and subtracted from their 6-7 years of marriage. On the plus side TL contributed two children and companionship for Len.

On the negative side, TL contributed not one dollar to the household budget, did the barest minimum of housework, and when-ever possible farmed the kids out to commercial childcare providers, or to the care of her husband or extended family.

The Lamprey extracted all her very considerable living expenses, 5 star holidays, her divorce-related legal expenses, a large proportion of Len’s assets, and spousal support for 12 months. Len asked TL if he could delay payment of her ‘share’ of the marital home (his dream house) as the real estate market had crashed, and he would have to sell it at a fire-sale price. No, she didn’t care, she wanted ‘her’ money immediately.

I wonder how much of Len’s money, obtained by TL thanks to our outdated and gynocentric legal system, will be preserved for their childrens’ future and how much has already been squandered?

And you know what? Just before her spousal support payments were due to terminate TL had the temerity to ask Len if he could keep the payments going for a while longer. She needed to finish her yoga course before she could earn an income – she said she planned to make a career as an instructor. Thank goodness Len trod on that fabulous idea.

Not long after that, TL moved in with another guy. She married him but wouldn’t give him the kids that he wanted so they divorced not long after. Then she moved in with some retired sugar-daddy type character. So from one sponsor to the next as the fun and/or funds started running out.

Since the divorce TL has failed to meet her responsibilities to provide for 50% child support with respect to both the time she devotes to the children, and to her financial contribution to their support. Len has let her off the hook for the sake of the children, in order to preserve some degree of harmony. He rationalises the situation by saying that if they were still married he would be paying 100% of the kids expenses anyway. Throughout the process Len has been patient and gracious to a fault.

Does TL feel in any way guilty about her behaviour? I haven’t asked her, but I don’t believe so. Hell no. Her attitude, which I suspect is quite common, is that she only took what she had a right to take under the law. So that’s gotta be fair, right? Of course, nil consideration given as to whether the law/family court itself is actually fair. Well, TL et al, it’s not.

Is this not financial abuse? Damn right it is. Am I saying that most divorces are like this? No, but Len’s situation is far from being a rare occurrence in my experience. In fact I don’t think I would know anyone in my network of friends/family/acquaintances who has not seen this pattern play out several times within their own circles. Can it be any wonder that more and more men are reconsidering the wisdom of getting married?

Anyway that’s what can happen when couples divorce (or simply separate in the case of de-facto couples). But the extent of financial abuse of men by women goes well beyond divorce. Consider:

  • ‘Sperm-jacking’, where a woman impregnates herself with sperm recovered from a condom, etc, and then demands child support (refer for example to this item and/or this item)
  • Intentional pregnancy in the hope of trapping a man in marriage and/or having a child who is financially supported by another (thanks to mandatory child support till age 18) that occurs after a woman falsely tells a man that she is using contraception
  • False claims of pregnancy from women seeking ‘payment’ of claimed abortion expenses and/or alleged child support (where for example they live in another country and are less likely to be trapped in a lie).
  • Situations where a man or boy is raped by a woman, again resulting in mandatory child support (one legal precedent).
  • Paternity fraud where a man is falsely told he is the father and pays child support. There are many instances where men have become suspicious and arranged DNA testing, found they were not the parent, but the court still subsequently ordered that they continue paying child support nonetheless.

In a growing number of cases we shall also see men subject to the same type of financial abuse traditionally experienced by some women. This is the result of the growing number of couples where the man assumes the role of house-husband. This decision may be voluntary or it may result from his inability to secure employment in a work environment that is increasingly favouring women. In such cases the male partner may have either a much lower income than his wife, or no income at all.

I am not surprised that these issues were not addressed in an article on domestic financial abuse by a feminist, for none of them are even blips on the feminist radar screen. And this despite the fact that they can be life-changing events in a man’s life, and in some cases life-ending events. Let that sink in, and ponder on it the next time you hear a feminist crowing about how men should respect women and do more to support them and their causes.

As for me, I cannot and will not respect narcissistic scroungers of either gender.

See also:

‘Heartless and greedy’: Influencer jailed for conning fan out of $20k (25 June 2024)

Australia’s tax system is being weaponised against victims of domestic abuse. Here’s how (19 June 2024)

Woman wheels a dead man into a bank to sign a loan approval (April 2024)

‘Devastating’: Lonely grandfather loses $1m in Apple gift card scam (15 February 2024) Australia

Woman ‘killed boyfriend after he inherited $30,000,000 then planned to dump her’ (31 October 2023)

Survey reveals extent of economic abuse among Australian men and women (22 November 2023) Gratifying to see the Australian ABC make mention to men being abused.

Weaponising banks against men, by Bettina Arndt (6 July 2023)

Woman has fiancé sign contract saying he’ll pay her bills if he cheats, sparking debate (26 August 2022) Now try running this story after reversing genders

‘I’m really concerned about money and my wife doesn’t understand why’ (7 August 2022) OK, it might not be financial abuse yet, but this article already sets up the justification for wife to err without being called to account. Meanwhile if husband loses financial status then you can be he’ll be judged – and harshly – including judgement and possible subsequent rejection by his wife.

A guide to financial abuse, from spotting the signs to getting help (23 June 2022) Cosmopolitan magazine advises “New data shows 35% of women in a relationship are financially dependent on their partner”. With regards to male victims of financial abuse we are treated to the sound of crickets chirping.

Sydney bikini model Stevie Bamford fraudulently stayed in luxury Hilton hotel (7 April 2022) It seems that looking hot only gets you so far – nevertheless I suspect #PussyPass incoming!

Mother-of-one, 20, is FREED from jail for faking her own KIDNAP to con her ex-boyfriend out of £2,000 after judge quashes ‘manifestly excessive’ 34 week sentence because she is ‘young and vulnerable’ (23 February 2022)

He should trust me (undated video regarding pre-nuptial agreements)

Woman claimed she forgot she had divorced her late husband when she tried to claim his estate (8 November 2021) The abuse doesn’t even end when you die

Natasha Darcy guilty of murdering Walcha sheep farmer Mathew Dunbar (news.com.au) (15 June 2021) Australia

Woman jailed after plotting for gang of armed robbers to raid ex-boyfriend’s home and attack him (11 August 2020)

Surprise! I know she’s not my daughter (29 July 2020) Why would you do this to me? (She says)

Abused woman who killed husband is granted the family’s U.K. estate (1 June 2020)

Dads by deception (5 May 2020)

Kristin Cavallari Wants $5M To By New House, Jay Cutler Freezes Accounts, Tells Her To Get A Job (2 May 2020) Stories about divorce-rape only make it into the media if there’s one or more celebrities involved.

Appeals court slaps down Conroe judge (10 April 2020) USA

Japanese model divorces husband after literally spending all his money (15 January 2020)

Man forced to pay child support despite finding out he’s not the father – Now he’s taking legal action (23 December 2019)

Hotel cleaner who stole sperm from a used condom won child support battle (9 November 2019)

Nurse banned for taking $1.5 million from old man (26 September 2019) Australia

Though unattractive, you still need a pre-nup or cohabitation agreement (24 September 2019) When men were richer then they were lambasted for seeking a pre-nup, but now that women are better-off then pre-nups make good sense (for them). This mirrors a similar about-turn with regards to alimony.

Lloyds Bank to give itself the right to remove husbands from joint accounts with their wives (27 August 2019) To stop financial abuse (only by men)

Motherhood by theft (11 August 2019) UK

A fitting tweet on the notion of ‘Happy Wife Happy Life’ (22 July 2019)

Woman left $5,000 tip for server to get back at boyfriend (3 July 2019) USA

My ex left me with 26,000 British pounds of debt (30 April 2019)

Mum received more than $83,000 in donations after ‘pretending to have cancer’ (9 April 2019) UK

The Internet reacts to Cardi B saying she used to drug and rob men (25 March 2019)

Men finally admit to being bullied by their exes over child access, money and love (19 March 2019)

Arizona woman can use fertilized embryos to get pregnant without ex’s consent, court rules (19 March 2019) USA. And *he* has to pay

Men becoming “increasing victims” of coercive control, legal experts claim  (9 March 2019)

When male rape victims are accountable for child support (21 February 2019)

Thousands of dads are left in shock as DIY paternity tests soar (15 January 2019) UK

Domestic Violence and Immigration Fraud Part 2 (20 November 2018) Video

Love-rat faked cancer to dupe three Tinder dates (16 October 2018)

https://twitter.com/victorymonk/status/1040931212234174464

Americans Conned into Marrying Immigrants for Green Cards (14 July 2018)

#MeToo has rich men wary of extortion (8 March 2019)

Three charts on: how emotional and economic abuse go hand-in-hand (20 November 2017) See also reader’s comment by Chris Lloyd illustrating similarity in rates of male/female abuse.

Vancouver women’s shelter sues the victim (6 November 2017)

Millionaires Reduced to Under $10 by Divorce (19 October 2017) A Stefan Molyneux video

Hotshot Wall Street banker says jilted lover drove his Benz into pool (15 October 2017) Men routinely criticized for treating women as sex objects, but women can treat men as success objects/ATM’s with minimal recriminations.

How feminism destroys families (12 September 2017) UK

LIZ JONES: Women NEED diamond rings – it makes hitting men easier (21 August 2017) Liz thinks that both physical abuse and financial abuse of men is OK/justified

Family trusts often cause more harm than good (26 July 2017) Author tut-tuts at men who establish legal structures to protect assets in the event of divorce, or in his words “to avoid the fair division of property after a relationship breakdown”. Because the law is always fair, right? And if someone has to be harmed then it might was well be the husband.

‘My wife didn’t tell me she was trying to get pregnant’ (22 July 2017)

Family finances and family violence: the conversation we need to start, by Moo Baulch (27 June 2017) Hard-line feminist and key figure in Domestic Violence Industry acknowledges male victims – will wonders never cease?

In May 2017 much media attention was given to a practice labelled as ‘stealthing’, whereby men remove their condom during sex without their partners consent (example). Few articles even made passing reference to the fact that women perpetrate a similar act when they falsely claim to be using contraceptives in order to ‘trap’ a man in a relationship and/or secure an income stream via child support payments. This issue was addressed in this article, and then in a follow-up article by Martin Daubney. See also this Reddit discussion thread.

Bell v Landry: paying your wife an ‘allowance’ is an insult (10 May 2017) One-sided wisdom from misandrist journalist, Jenna Price.

Karl Stefanovic and Cassandra Thorburn complete carving-up of assets six months after announcement (6 May 2017) Gee, it costs a guy a lot to keep in touch with his kids nowadays, huh? Another divorce-rape

Man killed himself after being conned out of his life savings by fake girlfriend he met on dating site (5 May 2017) UK

Prostitute allegedly conspired with two male friends to rob cashed-up miner, but inadvertently killed him (4 May 2017)

Millionaire tycoon loses legal fight to stop wife who cheated on him walking away with half of his £150 million fortune (12 April 2017) with related Reddit discussion thread here

When having separate bank accounts is the opposite of independence, by Polly Dunning (21 March 2017) Australia. And again, because only men financially abuse and humiliate their partners.

The biggest financial risk for women today? Embarking on a relationship (19 March 2017) One can always rely on The Guardian to provide an alternative and suitably distorted view of reality.

Unwanted child is no grounds to sue mum for lying about taking the pill: court (4 March 2017)

Now it’s men who are the victims of lonely hearts fraudsters (8 March 2017) UK

Revealed: the hidden problem of economic abuse in Australia (2 March 2017) This article provides corresponding figures for abuse of men, although the definition employed excludes many of the variations of abuse noted in this post.

Economic abuse a relatively unknown form of domestic violence (2 March 2017)

‘Getting divorced? Go after his pension’ (25 February 2017)

Men outraged over paying child support for kids who are not theirs (23 February 2017) USA

Conwoman Sanaa Derbas jailed for dating scam targeting lonely men (23 February 2017)

A website dedicated to trapping men with falsified pregnancy documents, sonograms, test results, etc. is ruthlessly investigated … many male victims interviewed (13 February 2017) Reddit discussion thread with linked video.

‘Reliable honest’ husband who handed his wife, 51, all of his ready cash in a divorce 15 years ago is told he must up her maintenance after she blows the lot on ‘unwise property investments’ (7 February 2017) UK

Chilling confession of ‘Sextortion Queen’ in Philippines (24 January 2017)

‘He took away my money and my freedom’: Financial abuse is just as destructive as physical abuse but often goes unnoticed (22 January 2017) UK

Very much focused on the abuse of women, but at least this article notes that 40% of victims (in the cited study) were male.

When care becomes control – financial abuse cuts across cultures (17 January 2017) Why bother surveying men when financial abuse only happens to women, right?

Nearly a third of parents unwilling to leave estate to their children for fear they will lose it in divorce (4 January 2017)

Nearly half of men who take paternity test are not the real father (3 January 2017) UK

The boss and the secretary: Five reasons powerful men get beautiful girls (20 December 2016) Australia. And another article promoting the notion that only men exploit women.

Woman Claims She’s Paying College Bills With Positive Pregnancy Tests (19 December 2016) USA

This year the most attractive men in the world will lose hundreds of millions to their divorcing wives: Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt and now George Clooney too: his wife is ready to get at least $ 300 million dollars from him (11 December 2016) Reddit men’s rights discussion thread

Mum charged with faking DNA tests to con ex into thinking he was baby’s dad (8 December 2016) UK

Teacher who started a £30m-a-year fashion empire from his garage fights to stop his ex-wife getting £2.7m of his fortune – more than a decade after they split (29 November 2016)

Domestic violence also has an economic penalty – we need to tackle it (29 November 2016) and Financial abuse: The hidden form of domestic violence affecting millions (25 November 2016) Two more articles re: financial abuse that doesn’t even hint that men can also be victimised in this manner

Banks enhance support for family and domestic violence victims (22 November 2016) Australia. The guidelines seem to be reasonably gender-neutral, although I wonder to what extent they will be as applied in real-life. There is also no mention made of the reality of false accusations being made as a form of abuse.

Woman asks her 20 boyfriends to buy her a new iPhone, then sells them all for house deposit (2 November 2016)

Mariah Carey and James Packer split gets nasty with name calling, $50M demand (29 October 2016)

Doctor sues gay friend for child support, 16 years after he first donated sperm to her (27 October 2016)

Sumner Redstone Sues Ex-Companions for Elder Abuse to Reclaim $150M in Gifts (25 October 2016)

Jets, vacation homes, Botox all factors in cancer center founder’s divorce (21 October 2016) USA

Males Out of Work – NYT Does Not Get It (18 October 2016) It’s worth considering that whilst there exists this backdrop of financial abuse, the financial well-being of many men is declining considerably rendering them less able to rebound after losses are incurred.

Marital wallet rape is bad, m’kay? (6 October 2016)

Fake pregnancy: MGTOW (2 October 2016) Video

Blame the Patriarchy! (29 September 2016)

James tells Mariah: ‘Stop spending all my money!’ (26 September 2016)

Man wins fight against paying support for another man’s child (23 September 2016)

ShowerThought about paternity fraud (11 September 2016) Reddit discussion thread

‘I’m not paying for that’: Financial abuse is awfully common (6 September 2016)

Well at least this article acknowledges that some financial abuse of men does occur … only to minimise it by saying “While men are also affected by financial abuse, the majority of cases are women”. Hmm, sounds like so many domestic violence article doesn’t it?

Eddie the Eagle’s fallen flat on his face: Divorce reduces to ski-jump hero to living on egg sandwiches in his shed because his wife has taken £180,000 Hollywood windfall (5 September 2016)

Mum convinces husband to pay for £6,000 boob job then becomes glamour model and dumps him (1 September 2016) UK

“I pleaded with him to lend me the money and knew it would give me a new lease of life” … “I didn’t really have any desire to pay him back. If I had to choose between the boobs and him, it was an easy choice.”

[Parental rights] This is what we’re up against (BURIED in a legal advice sub) (30  August 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Berlin to Require Mums to Come Clean on ‘Milkmen’s Kids’ (29 August 2016) Then read how an Australian feminist thinks this is all about slut-shaming (no mention of the notion of fraud or men being due some modicum of respect.

Comedian Aries Spears: ‘Women … Rape men financially’ through child support demands (24 August 2016)

Sydney mum defrauded lonely men of $2 million (23 August 2016)

American Slavery: Man Paying Child Support for Another Man’s Kid (1 August 2016) USA

US man forced to pay support for a child that’s not his (30 July 2016)

And in a cruel twist, it ‘Turns Out That the Husband’s Job Is Probably the Best Predictor of Divorce‘ (28 July 2016) So those men get hammered twice

One in 50 British fathers unknowingly raises another man’s child (6 April 2016)

After Simon was maimed by a Taliban bomb, his wife walked out, squandered much of his £1million compensation – then took him to court for more (2 December 2015)

Women selling/buying positive pregnancy tests (March 2015) Youtube video

In Defense Of Gold Diggers: It’s Not Always What It Seems (17 January 2015) with related Reddit discussion thread here.

Nurse faked DNA test and pretended friend’s baby was her own to trick one-night stand walks free from prison (1 December 2014)

Relationship problems and money: Women talk about financial abuse by Prue Cameron (2014) Australia

“Financial abuse in a family violence context involves behaviours that ‘control a woman’s ability to acquire, use and maintain economic resources, threatening her economic security and potential for self-sufficiency’” (p13)

Financial abuse of men not even recognised in the definition used for this research project, which subsequently surveyed only women and made recommendations that only applied to women. This despite the fact that most or even all of the specific forms of abuse discussed, such as being dragged into and out of family court, also clearly are also experiences that also apply to men.

Man who paid child support for 22 years can’t get a refund (19 August 2014)

National Organisation of Women (USA) opposes measures that would help protect men from paternity fraud (6 July 2014)

Meet the woman who’s dating her way into meals at top Toronto restaurants (25 October 2013)

How to snag a rich man: Confessions of a gold digger (31 July 2013)

Rape victim in the USA (a boy) is sued for child support (2004) with related Reddit discussion thread here

Should paternity tests at birth be mandatory (12 February 2013) Video

Should we be doing more to expose paternity fraud? (4 September 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Woman steals ex-boyfriends sperm, has twins, sues for child support(23 November 2011)

http://news.yahoo.com/video/man-may-jailed-not-paying-203459828.html

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/35rlw6/a_paternity_test_will_be_available_to_buy_over/

Can you make a male baby sitter pay child support?

bludge

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Other posts in this blog of relevance to this issue include:

The ‘Marriage Strike’ and MGTOW

On ‘spurgling’, paternity theft, and baby stealing

On Spousal Maintenance / Alimony

We’ve all heard of the gender ‘income gap’, but what about the ‘expense gap’?

Who pays on dates?

On recognising and supporting male victims of domestic violence

On Spousal Maintenance, Alimony & Child Support

Much of the information in this blog post was previously included in an earlier post entitled ‘We’ve all heard of the gender ‘income gap’, but what about the ‘expense gap’?

The topic does, however, warrants its own post given that it is a significant issue in a number of regards, including:

  • alimony represents a major financial burden which impacts primarily on men
  • as the number of cases of men claiming alimony rises the divergent manner in which the media reports the issue is highly illustrative of enduring gender stereotypes
  • the debate and political machinations surrounding alimony is a prime example of the extent to which feminist organisations oppose gender equality reforms that would benefit men.

The issue is also quite topical in the United States at the moment particularly in relation to the recently quashed legal reforms in Florida.

(Update: Florida Gov. DeSantis signs bill ending permanent alimony on 30 June 2023)

Both the terminology and nature of spousal maintenance/alimony varies from one country to the next, and even within the same country there may be significant variation from one state to the next. The primary focus on this post is the situation in the UK, Australia and the USA.

This woman created a stir by posting a video online presenting herself as a hard-done-by single mum. Then her ex-husband stepped in to address her fabrication (May 2024)

Parents failing to submit tax returns are skewing child support payments (25 June 2024) Pleasing to see journalists (from the ABC too!) acknowledging that parents who fail to pay child support are not confined to so-called ‘dead-beat dads’

More and more women are paying alimony to ex-husbands and they’re really not happy about it (14 October 2023) Reddit MensRights discussion thread, which includes link to this 3 December 2021 newspaper article

Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner shock divorce settlement (20 September 2023)

Former Magistrate Rodney Higgins breaks silence about relationship with Ashleigh Petrie (news.com.au) (9 August 2021) See what happens if we reverse genders? The media applies the logic that if feminists get the outcome they want, then all is well and it’s not particularly newsworthy. Failing that, and we have ourselves some male oppression.

LOL. Twitter Feminists GO CRAZY After Kelly Clarkson Is Ordered To Pay Her Ex! This Is TRUE EQUALITY – YouTube (29 July 2021)

I dobbed in my ex for avoiding to pay child support – now he owes me $30K (29 June 2021) Try reversing the genders in this article and see what reaction you’ll get

“It’s wrong and it’s extortion”: Halle Berry says it’s wrong for parents to use children to live a lifestyle they did not earn (9 February 2021) USA. This is mainly about child support rather than alimony, but it’s great to see some sympathy for men being expressed.

RHOBH’s Erika Jayne wants spousal support and legal fees paid after divorcing Tom Girardi, 81 (11 November 2020)

Finnish man ordered by court to pay alimony for a child resulting from his wife cheating with another man (19 October 2020)

Unable To Pay Maintenance To Fully Abled Wife, Court Sentences Man To 480-Days In Jail (29 January 2020)

Adele’s rumoured divorce settlement is *not* equality at work (9 April 2020)

Camille Grammer Awarded Half of Ex-Husband Kelsey Grammer’s Retirement Fund (3 November 2017) See reader’s comments

Why do most men want their wives to help their economic progress, but not ensure anything in return? (12 June 2017) This thread looks at the argument in favor of alimony.

I’m fighting my ex-wife for every person who’s been shafted by Britain’s divorce courts’ (4 June 2017) UK

Men ‘bullied’ out of generous divorce settlements by breadwinning wives (4 March 2017)

‘I’m NOT a gold digger’: The ex-wife vilified as a cold, cunning chancer after winning a huge rise in maintenance payments 15 YEARS after her divorce blasts back and says it’s all her ex’s fault (13 February 2017) UK

Divorced men doomed to life as a cash machine‘ by Martin Daubney (12 February 2017)

‘Reliable honest’ husband who handed his wife, 51, all of his ready cash in a divorce 15 years ago is told he must up her maintenance after she blows the lot on ‘unwise property investments’ (7 February 2017) UK

Fashion tycoon’s ex-wife wins £2.7m slice of his fortune more than a DECADE after they divorced as judge condemns him as a liar (26 January 2017)

Wife’s Capability To Earn No Reason To Reduce Maintenance Awarded To Her (20 January 2017) India

Custody, Child Support, and Alimony in the 50 States (2016)

Cancer center founder’s ex-wife seeks $400K/month as divorce trial opens (19 October 2016) USA

Men will only get equality in custody cases when women face some hard truths(26 August 2016) Ireland

“The family law researcher observed 493 judicial separation and divorce cases in 2010, which are ordinarily held in private. But she couldn’t find a single case where the wife was ordered to pay maintenance for children or a spouse, and had only seen the courts order joint custody in two cases.”

Don’t Blame Divorce on Money. Ask: Did the Husband Have a Job? (28 July 2016) Men, get ready for a triple whammy … employment redundancy->divorce->divorce rape/alimony (->suicide?)

Rich wives being told to get a job as judges clamp down on ‘meal ticket’ divorces – lawyers (20 July 2016) UK

Former millionaire brands UK laws unfair to men after divorce judges gave ALL his money to his ex-wife and threatened him with jail if he didn’t pay maintenance (15 July 2016)

A letter to … my wife, who won’t get a job while I work myself to death (2 July 2016) The flip side of this coin – the exploitation of many men begins long before they get divorced.

Supermodel Christina Estrada Wants Ex to Pay for Her $262 Million Lifestyle (29 June 2016) and she only gets 75 million pounds. Boo hoo! “The legal process had been “incredibly bruising and distressing,” she added.”

Father’s dying ‘wish’ voids woman’s divorce payout, say judges (11 June 2016) Australia

Are all women gold-diggers? (27 May 2016)

Johnny Depp protects $400 million fortune as he rejects Amber Heard’s request for spousal support in divorce papers (26 May 2016) No pre-nup … what were you thinking Johnny? And Amber, married only 15  months and already wealthy yet still feels justified in sticking out her paw for $50,000/month spousal support … ewww. Apparently she burns through $43,000/month (further details here). Hard on the heels of Johnny’s rejection of spousal support came Amber’s accusation of domestic violence (see here, here, and here) – but might this be a lie? Never fear, Clementine Ford knows who’s naughty and who’s nice (hint: vagina=nice). Alyssa knows he’s guilty too. So that’s at least two feminists. Jail the cad! And as for those women close to Johny speaking up in his defence – clearly, suffering from internalised misogyny.

David Hasselhoff No More Alimony!!! I Want to Retire (18 April 2016) Fair? Of course it isn’t – the word parasite springs to mind

Florida alimony profits and child custody litigation preserved by governor’s veto (16 April 2016)

Rosenblum: As times change, should alimony change, too? (25 March 2016)

Afeni Shakur And Whether Or Not Men Deserve Alimony (18 March 2016) USA

Florida Bar Association says it no longer supports alimony-reform bill it helped write (16 March 2016)

Divorcee wins 90 per cent of husband’s wealth in bitter court battle (14 March 2016) UK, with related Reddit discussion thread here. See Janet Bloomfield’s (a respected female MHRA) response to this judgement here.

Group pushes male-dominated S.C. Legislature to change permanent alimony law (1 March 2016) USA

The 11 richest women in Britain who mostly got their wealth through marriage (9 February 2016)

Family court robs men and demeans women by splitting property equally when a marriage ends (6 February 2016) Australia

Report: NJ woman sued for writing ‘bum’ and ‘loser’ on ex-spouse’s alimony checks (19 December 2015) More on this case in this discussion thread and linked article

John Cleese feels ‘free to do the things that interest him’ after paying off £12million divorce settlement to ex wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger (26 November 2015)

Breadwinning Women Are Driving Alimony Reform (18 November 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Even though 37% of women earn more money than their husbands, only 3% of divorced men receive alimony (30 June 2015) Reddit discussion thread

Retired farmer must pay more in alimony than monthly income, Nebraska Supreme Court rules (27 June 2015)

Divorce Math: She gets 60%, plus alimony, plus “child” support, plus probably attorney fees (April 2015) Reddit mens rights discussion thread

Jason and Amanda Dufner divorce after three years of marriage (31 March 2015) Amanda gets a million a year … for what exactly?

Construction tycoon left ‘homeless’ after ex-wife wins 80% of his property in divorce (26 March 2015)

Forced to pay for a child that DNA proves isn’t his (24 March 2015)

Wife seeks more alimony over ex’s new lookalike girlfriend (20 March 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread

Former hippy wins right to claim ex’s post-divorce wealth (12 March 2015) The same court ruling is also discussed in this article (15 March 2015)

Are Moms Less Likely Than Dads To Pay Child Support? (26 February 2015)

Divorced wife told to get a job and stop living off her ex-husband (23 February 2015)

Woman sues ex-husband for a share of wealth he made years after they divorced (9 December 2014)

Why Do So Few Men Get Alimony? (20 November 2014) USA

Working woman in /r/legaladvice divorcing and is horrified that she has to give part-time-working ex-husband half her assets (15 November 2014)

Ex-wife of US oil baron to appeal $1 billion divorce award (13 November 2014)

State Orders Man to Pay $30,000 in Welfare Benefits for Child Both Mother and DNA Test Say isn’t his (24 October 2014)

Deadbeat moms? Should mothers be required to pay child support? (20 April 2014) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread

Jail Becomes Home for Husband Stuck With Lifetime Alimony (27 August 2013)

Halle Berry’s Child-Support Fight: Female Breadwinners Can’t Have It Both Ways (20 October 2014)

Businessman is ordered to pay £28,500 to ex-girlfriend in landmark court ruling because he led her to believe he would look after her for life (17 October 2014)

Veteran chooses jail over giving his disability money to ex-wife (17 September 2014)

Alimony is broken – But let’s not fix it (1 September 2014)

Who’s the Daddy? (23 October 2010) and related reddit discussion thread. Paternity testing should be mandatory where child support is sought – why is this idea being opposed?

The New Art of Alimony (31 October 2009)

I just love how a “prominent family lawyer” recently emerged from the woodwork to call for new pre-nuptial laws in Britain: “Lady Deech said on Radio 4’s Sunday Programme: ‘Lots of young women these days are working, earning well, and would feel it extremely unfair if a young man who they marry and perhaps leaves them is going to take with him a sizeable chunk of what they have worked so hard for.”

Oh, extremely Baroness! Presumably you’ve silently observed countless men get fleeced over past decades, but now that some women have moved into the position of primary bread-winner in the family, it’s suddenly time to act. Oh and have a read about what happened to Ms Luckwell.

And now for a bit of male-shaming:

“Bristol’s rep David Martin slammed Meyer for seeking child support despite being a decorated member of the Marine Corps that has received the Congressional Medal of Honor. “My values are such that a real American hero doesn’t ask for child support,” said Martin.” (Source)

Now consider the gall/hypocrisy of this feminist journalist as she berates a man who obtained a court-ordered settlement upon divorce (+ related reddit discussion thread).

See also:

On spousal maintenance in Australia

Give Your Money To Women: The End Game of Capitalism (10 August 2015)

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We’ve all heard of the gender ‘income gap’, but what about the ‘expense gap’?

In two other posts within this blog I explore the concept of the gender wage gap:

How feminists misrepresent the gender ‘income gap’, and
That tired old feminist chestnut that is the ‘gender wage gap’ resurrected in Australia

Those posts found that the ‘wage gap’ is an issue that is persistently misrepresented by the feminist lobby, and that differentials in salary are generally reflective of personal choice rather than gender discrimination in the workplace.

This post explores the notion that there is a flip-side to the ‘wage gap’, that I label the gender ‘expense gap’. This concept is borne from the premise that men/boys incur significant additional expense, in comparison to women, to access or obtain various goods or services and/or to perform the role that western society demands of them.

The existence of a gender expense/cost gap is addressed in the media from time to time, but such discussions are limited to the gynocentric meme of a ‘pink tax’. Such articles, examples of which are provided below, focus on women paying more for retail products such as shavers, fashion, haircuts and sanitary products. The reality that men pay more than women for other goods/services is overlooked.

Tesco cuts price of women’s razors so they cost the same as men’s (2 January 2017) UK
NYC pharmacy introduces ‘man tax’ provoking protests which it labels ‘hate’ (14 October 2016) USA
The Pink Tax (25 August 2016) A video by ‘ShoeOnHead’ (a female MRA)
The ‘tampon tax’ is not a marginal issue – it’s the force of structural sexism at work (25 July 2016) USA
This Is How Much More It Costs To Be A Woman (2 April 2016)
Price discrimination isn’t only about pink razors (6 February 2016) UK
‘Pink tax’ angers women from New York to London (3 February 2016)
CBS News goes undercover to reveal gender price discrimination (25 January 2016)
Pink premium? There are greater problems (24 January 2016)
Britain’s ‘sexist’ high streets: How women are being charged TWICE as much as men for almost identical items (19 January 2016)
Ever heard of the ‘pink tax’? It’s real and cutting into women’s finances in a big way (30 December 2015)
Why you should always buy the men’s version of almost anything (22 December 2015)
So Who Is Responsible For The Gender Cost Gap? (23 December 2015)
Women Pay More for Everything From Birth to Death, Report Finds (23 December 2015)

‘Girl tax’: women call out being charged more by tradies, mechanics (23 March 2024)

The Gender Expense Gap is broader and more pervasive than simply retail pricing differentials, encompassing for example:

  • Men being required to pay more for a particular product or service than a woman for the same or similar product or service (i.e. gender discriminatory pricing). A broad range of examples can be identified including nightclub entry, membership of online dating sites, and insurance (health, life, auto, etc). Here is one such example.
  • Men being expected (via social convention) to meet the full cost of a given expense, e.g. a restaurant meal or a holiday, rather than the relevant expense/s being split 50/50 with their female companion
  • Men being forced, by law, to incur certain expenses that would either not be incurred by women, or would only rarely be incurred by them, e.g. payment of alimony or spousal support
  • Men being unable to avoid particular expenses (without a penalty being applied), that women in the same circumstances would or could avoid  (e.g. in the US, women are less likely to meet their commitments to pay child support, and less likely to be penalised for doing so)
  • Men being denied compensation or financial support that would, in the case of women, offset costs incurred by them. Consider for example discounts or financial incentives or external funding support denied to men but available to women, e.g. scholarships and educational grants (example), sanitary products, superannuation top-up payments (here and here), maternity leave, and rebates or tax reductions for female-owned business start-ups.

How might we also, for example, assign a financial cost to factors such as workplace deaths (overwhelming affecting men), and the health impacts of reduced medical research/treatment (whereby the government spends a pittance on men/boys relative to women/girls).

This is a most challenging task as far as economic analysis goes, but nevertheless ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’. A related reddit discussion thread can be found here.

Let’s look now at some of the specific factors that might be considered:

Courtship expenses and celebratory days

Men are still expected to subsidise most of the costs associated with courtship. The issue of who pays for dates is addressed in another blog post. One of the articles listed there is ‘Why women should never go halves on a date’ (27 November 2014).valentines-spend-ecommerce

Men are also expected to spend more on celebratory days, for e.g. birthdays, Mothers Day and Valentines Day, than are women.

‘I told my husband not to buy me a Christmas present – I’m fuming that he actually isn’t’ (21 December 2022)

Men, if you’re guilty of this, your wife will probably leave you (4 December 2023) Gee, wouldn’t it be interesting to read the husband’s version of events? But you never will, of course.

The Fathers Day spending deficit is addressed here, but some related articles include:

The Father’s Day spending gap: Why does mom always win? (10 May 2015)

Less spent of Father’s Day gifts than Mother’s Day gifts (6 September 2014)

Valentine’s Day spend twice as high for men: bank research (13 February 2017)

Valentine’s Day spending driven by single men in search for love (12 February 2015)

Valentines Day, by the numbers (14 February 2013)

Why Are Some Men Such Awkward Gift Givers? Let Them Explain (5 December 2016) USA. Talk about ‘look a gift horse in the mouth’! On that note see also “Men are also pretty useless at buying gifts in general”

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2385196/Sorry-gents-results-Men-really-ARE-good-fear-women-need-rid-spiders.html#ixzz4wCarcD3N
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Older men charged more for using Tinder’s premium service, Choice mystery shoppers find (12 August 2020) Five times more!

And on a lighter note, see If girls proposed to guys (Video)

Marriage and co-habitation

Although times are certainly changing, men typically remain the primary breadwinner in the family and are responsible for supporting most/all of the living expenses of their spouse and children. Men are also likely to bring considerably more assets into the marriage than are women. Woman however still typically remain in charge of making most of the decisions regarding the expenditure of household income.

WA de facto couples will be able to split super if relationship breaks down (25 October 2018) Men typically bring significantly more assets into a relationship, but the fact that they might take out more is “fundamentally unfair” … gynocentric much?

Is this the new normal? Women who live on a weekly ‘allowance’ from their husbands (7 May 2017)

New research reveals females control the household budget (27 November 2015)

‘I get a wife bonus — and I deserve it’  (29 May 2015)

Women who out-earn their husbands are also more likely to make money decisions for the family (17 March 2015)

New fathers must have same pay rights as mothers, says Nick Clegg, who vows to smash ‘Edwardian’ view on raising children (20 October 2014)

oppression

http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/diversity/17spending.pdf

Men make more, women decide how to spend it (11 May 2012)

I declare the gender pay gap to be a truly dead and gone issue (27 April 2014)

The following quote addresses the average differential between earning and spending in male/female households:

“Men earn 61.5% of all income but only account for 25% of domestic spending. Men only spend 40% of what they earn after tax. In contrast women make up 38.5% of all income but control 75% of domestic spending, women on average spend 90% more money that they earn. Men are exploited as cash machines and even with spending on children accounted for women still spend more money on themselves than the combined spending for men and children.” (Source)

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Divorce/Separation, incl. spousal/partner/child support and alimony

Sources addressing the issue of spousal maintenance/alimony can be found in this other blog post, but some examples are provided below.

Paying child-support for a non-biological child (5 March 2018)

Rosenblum: As times change, should alimony change, too? (25 March 2016)

Afeni Shakur And Whether Or Not Men Deserve Alimony (18 March 2016) USA

Group pushes male-dominated S.C. Legislature to change permanent alimony law (1 March 2016) USA

Report: NJ woman sued for writing ‘bum’ and ‘loser’ on ex-spouse’s alimony checks (19 December 2015) More on this case in this discussion thread and linked article

Breadwinning Women Are Driving Alimony Reform (18 November 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Even though 37% of women earn more money than their husbands, only 3% of divorced men receive alimony (30 June 2015) Reddit discussion thread

Retired farmer must pay more in alimony than monthly income, Nebraska Supreme Court rules (27 June 2015)

Are Moms Less Likely Than Dads To Pay Child Support? (26 February 2015)

Divorced wife told to get a job and stop living off her ex-husband (23 February 2015)

Deadbeat moms? Should mothers be required to pay child support? (20 April 2014) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread

Jail Becomes Home for Husband Stuck With Lifetime Alimony (27 August 2013)

Woman sues ex-husband for a share of wealth he made years after they divorced (9 December 2014)

Why Do So Few Men Get Alimony? (20 November 2014) USA

Working woman in /r/legaladvice divorcing and is horrified that she has to give part-time-working ex-husband half her assets (15 November 2014)

Ex-wife of US oil baron to appeal $1 billion divorce award (13 November 2014)

Halle Berry’s Child-Support Fight: Female Breadwinners Can’t Have It Both Ways (20 October 2014)

Businessman is ordered to pay £28,500 to ex-girlfriend in landmark court ruling because he led her to believe he would look after her for life (17 October 2014)

Veteran chooses jail over giving his disability money to ex-wife (17 September 2014)

Alimony is broken – But let’s not fix it (1 September 2014)

Cost of education (esp. regarding the availability of financial support via government or university grants or discounts for example)

Critics Tell Young Men that Their Penises are NOT Golden (But They Are) (15 September 2022) by Janice Fiamengo. Recommended reading

Biden touts freeze on collections of $1.14m student loans (30 March 2021) USA. But let’s not say what percentage of those loans were to women, because that might seem like more #GenderEqualityWhenItSuits

According this female MRA posting on Twitter, 92% of all sex-specific scholarships are reserved for women (December 2020) USA

145 universities under federal investigation for sex discrimination against male students (27 May 2020) USA

Growing debate whether Title IX should help male students excluded by female-only programs (7 May 2020) USA

UN Women Australia MBA scholarship (May 2020) Each scholarship is worth $60,000 – available at the University of Sydney Business School. I have since written to relevant agencies about this matter, details regarding which can be found in this post.

Pell’s 6-Billion Dollar Gender Gap (1 March 2020)

Male Title IX activist expelled after “feminist witch-hunt” (12 November 2019) USA

Veteran of anti-male discrimination lawsuits SOUNDS OFF after study shows disproportionate female-only scholarships (26 August 2019)

ICRAR Visiting Fellowship for senior women in Astronomy (July 2019) Some previous fellowship recipients here.

Widespread sex discrimination found in college scholarship programs (18 May 2019) USA

Among 1,161 sex-specific scholarships, 91.6% were reserved for female students, with only 8.4% designated for male students.

Sydney University partners with UN Women Australia to offer women-only scholarships (March 2019)

Jordan Peterson, dozens of academics attack Ivy League anti-male bias (8 February 2019)

New data shows women now surpassing men in STEM fields (3 December 2018) USA. And then read this paper (2 March 2019)

The Science Ambassador Scholarship (December 2018) USA

Anti-male discrimination complaint gets UMN to change scholarship rules (2 November 2018)

Scholarship funding available for women working in the horticulture sector (28 September 2018)

Scholarships for Women in Male-Dominated Industries (12 September 2018)

Scholarships for ‘Board Ready’ Women in the Disability Sector (30 June 2017)

Sydney University defends new scholarship that favours men as ‘consistent with diversity’ (8 February 2017) Feminists lose it when a university faculty applies the same logic to attract more male students, and cry ‘sexism!’

Storm over Shami’s £500,000 to help girls get degrees … (4 January 2017) UK

Women in MBA Scholarship: 30 full rides. There are no men in biology or men in elementary education scholarships (23 September 2016) Australia

VCAT green light will let Ivanhoe Grammar School offer more places to girls (11 August 2016) Australia

“The decision [to escape provisions of sex discrimination legislation] will allow Ivanhoe Grammar to target female students in its advertising and to offer sweeteners to attract girls, including “scholarship and bursary assistance”.”

UN Women National Committee Australia MBA Scholarship (April 2016) Just one example – how many more like this?

There are four times as many scholarships for females as there are for males (28 February 2016) Reddit discussion thread and linked article

“It would be bad enough that men are continuously shamed for earning more than women, and told that because women get better grades in easier subjects, that women are more intelligent (SourceFed, 2014) or motivated (Lewin, 2006). However, women are also given disproportionate financial aid to attend college, even though they are now a sizeable majority of college students compared to men. While data is difficult to find, using the University of Oklahoma as an anecdotal example, in 2007 women received 78% of scholarships, and between the years of 2008 -2013 women received 89%, 77%, 68%, 94%, 92%, and 100% respectively (OU SLIS, 2013).

Government grants are another major source of funding for women wishing to attend college. There are numerous resources available created specifically for women (Scholarships for Women), but none specifically for men, unless you count athletic scholarships, which are a sticking point with Feminist activists who resent that female athletics lose money while male athletics make money for colleges (Bloomberg News, 2011). It seems fans aren’t interested in paying to watch female athletes perform at the level of a male high school junior varsity team. However, if you put athletics aside, and focus only on the resources available to help men obtain college degrees, those resources are sorely lacking, while money is being thrown at women who are wasting it on Liberal Arts degrees instead of STEM.(Source)

scholar

Scholarship discrimination (7 December 2015) Reddit discussion thread

How the Australian Research Council promotes gender equality … by providing “at least two named Australian Laureate Fellowships targeted at outstanding women researchers” (2015) None for men

Verizon donation makes STEM summer camp for girls free of charge (20 November 2015)

Female postgraduate engineering students entitled to taxpayer-funded sponsorships worth £22,750, on the basis of gender alone (30 April 2015)

http://www.forbes.com/sites/ccap/2012/02/16/the-male-female-ratio-in-college/

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/education/2005-10-19-male-college-cover_x.htm?csp=14

http://www.macleans.ca/general/why-do-women-still-deserve-special-scholarships/

Supporting women scholarships (February 2015) Australia. How many men-only scholarships are offered? My guess is ‘none’

4x as Many Scholarships for Women — a Disadvantage for Men? (27 February 2013)

Student Loans Help Women More than Men in Reaching Graduation (21 February 2013)Image

Insurance

Why Men Don’t Care About The Healthcare Debate (13 November 2017) USA

Men pay £170 a year more than women for car insurance despite EU gender rules (3 October 2017)

Men ‘pay £101 more’ for car insurance than women (13 January 2017) UK

Differences in insurance costs (29 June 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Men paying more for car insurance. Mensrights discussion thread and linked article (3 May 2015) Ireland

The benefits gap — a cursory analysis of US social security (OASI) and disability insurance (DI) (28 October 2014) A Reddit discussion thread

Canada’s Insurance Rates: Men vs. Women (17 January 2012)

Articles that address other gender-based expenditure/cost/revenue differentials

Norway broadens ‘Gender Equality’ debate to address disparities facing men and boys

The Grant Funding Deficit for Washington’s Boys and Men (15 September 2023)

Vodafone is paying women 500 extra a year for being women, possibly in violation of the 2009 law Fair work act in AU (15 March 2017)

The Travel Insurance Company Tackling Australia’s Gender Pay Gap (15 February 2017)

“Equal Pay is Not Enough”, says violent feminist ad for overpriced shoes complaining that women pay more for things (25 January 2017) Video with related Reddit discussion thread here.

About a company that operates lounges at conferences and to promote equality, men are charged more for refreshments based on the gender pay gap (18 January 2017) Reddit discussion thread with linked article.

Female scientists with young children offered extra $10,000 annually to stay on at Brisbane Institute (17 December 2016) Australia

Swiss parliament rejects paternity leave plea (27 April 2016)

Give Your Money To Women: The End Game of Capitalism (10 August 2015)

Why Do Women Have More Credit Card Debt Than Men? (28 June 2015)

“Bring it on” – Says Fitness center illegally charging men more for membership in the UK when complaints are raised (9 April 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread. And here’s how that story eventually played out.

Goldman Sachs 10,000 Women program Financial support for entrepreneurs (males need not apply)

You Should Know About: Feminist Perversion of Scientific Research. Athena SWAN – The go-to positive discrimination vehicle for feminists in STEM HE (14 November 2014)

Elsewhere in this blog you might be interested in:

On taxation and the ‘Female Economy’

Len & The Lamprey: The other side to the issue of financial abuse

When banks divert from banking to social engineering

Good manners versus chivalry

On prostitution

What exactly is prostitution? Most people focus on the version of prostitution that we typically see portrayed in the media. This features men going to brothels or picking up women standing by the road, and purchasing their time in exchange for engaging in various sexual activities.

Things get more complicated however. One factor to note is that the payment for services rendered sometimes occurs after the act … sometimes well after. That payment may not be in cash either, it might (for example) take the form of a gift or gifts. In such cases we begin to move into the realm of mistresses or ‘sugar babies‘ or ‘paid dating‘, for example.

This should not however be confused with the social practices engaged in by women.

From here on in we launch into even murkier waters. For example some people argue that spousal support payments as routinely ordered by divorce courts are, at least in some circumstances, a form of prostitution (delayed payment for services earlier rendered). Some feminists, like Jane Caro, have even suggested that marriage itself is a form of prostitution (see here and here). Others go further and say that any form of paid work is a form of prostitution, in that work involves someone selling the use of their body by the hour.

What is the feminist perspective on prostitution? Seriously? Well it depends on the particular feminist you are speaking to, but most see it as highly undesirable and indicative of patriarchal exploitation of women. In keeping with feminist discussion on many other issues, feminists routinely ignore those aspects of reality that don’t support their narrative. Thus they assiduously look the other way when it comes to male prostitutes, woman who pay for prostitutes, women who operate trafficking or prostitution businesses, and women (with other employment/income options) who freely choose to work as prostitutes.

Driven by their narrative, feminists in various countries have lobbied to have the act of selling sex decriminalised whilst making the act of buying sex a crime (example). And again, in this particular debate both feminists and media alike keep discussion focused on female prostitutes and male clients.

In a September 2014 discussion on an Australian TV program, Kay Hymowitz raised feminist hackles by questioning why prostitution warranted being a major feminist issue, at least in part because of the relatively small number of women who were prostitutes. One of the other panelists then stated that it warranted being a major issue because one in four men used prostitutes (cue applause). So it’s all about the ‘menz’, huh? Comments like this reinforce the view that a significant factor underlying female opposition to prostitution is the notion of devaluing women’s ‘sexual currency‘.

Please review the selected linked articles below for further information:

Punish the men who pay for sex, rather than the women lured into that life (25 August 2024) Punish the men and absolve the women of accountability for anything. Sounds fair

Polish influencer just sold her love as an NFT for $250K (nypost.com) (29 July 2021)

The Effect of Adult Entertainment Establishments on Sex Crime: Evidence from New York City (27 May 2020)

Sex worker clients are increasingly women – and they’re seeking more than pleasure (9 October 2019) Australia

Spanish court rules union of sex workers illegal (21 November 2018)

Australian sex workers have a message for women in relationships: ‘Understand your man’ (23 March 2017)

Legislation to clear prostitutes of criminal charges while shifting the blame to the nearest man (14 January 2017) USA. Reddit discussion thread with linked article

‘Why should I wait any longer?’: 20-year-old student auctions virginity online for $230,000 (28 September 2016)

Decriminalization of Sex Work Is Not Associated with More Men Paying for Sex: Results from the Second Australian Study of Health and Relationships (24 February 2016)

Eat, pay, love: A new app lets women charge for a night out (14 July 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here

Daddies, “Dates,” and the Girlfriend Experience: Welcome to the New Prostitution Economy (7 July 2016)

‘Do you think we’ll pay for bad things we’ve done?’ Revelations of Aussie sex tourists in Thailand (3 July 2016) Feminist blogger Jas ‘Rawlinson’ Swilks serves up clickbait journalism that vilifies (white) men whilst promoting a biased misrepresentation of the Thai sex trade. See related Reddit discussion thread here, and follow-up post from the Ms Swilks here.

It is both an affront and most ironic that the author implies that expat men committing suicide in Thailand are doing so out of feelings of guilt (supposedly due to exploiting bar girls). These suicides are a real issue, but I would wager that the cause is the legacy of a life-time of exposure to the toxic anti-male environment in their countries of origin, this leading to substance abuse and general feelings of failure and hopelessness.

In reality many western feminists could not give a damn about the welfare of Asian sex-workers. Their real agenda is male demonization esp. in relating to curtailing the expression of male sexuality. Some background on that aspect in this blog post.

The author of this article conveniently fails to mention that:

  • plenty of western women also travel to Asia for sex (both commercial and non-commercial)
  • many Thai prostitutes are male or transgender (and are apparently not worth ‘rescuing’?)
  • many if not most men who travel to Asia don’t have sex with prostitutes

It is absurd to suggest that “Australian men [are] among the largest contributors to sex tourism in southeast Asia”. The reality is that Caucasian clients are simply the icing on the cake of the Thai sex industry, and Australians only one of many groups represented amongst tourist/expat clients.

Many (or even most) of these so-called sex-worker “rescue” organisations are either woefully ineffective in terms of getting girls out of the industry permanently – or they are out-and-out scams (example).

The dangers of rebranding prostitution as ‘sex work’ (7 June 2016) By feminist activist Kat Banyard

Sex trade surivors deserve a chance to speak (8 April 2016) Australia. Imagine feminists decrying those villains who would deny others a platform to speak. Oh the irony!

Why France Is Adopting A New Law That Criminalizes The Clients, Not Prostitutes (8 April 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here

Prostitution row: A ‘male sex deficit’ – what about us horny women? (6 August) and related reddit discussion thread

Amnesty International says prostitution is a human right – but it’s wrong (29 July 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Over half of UK prostitutes find their work rewarding (5 March 2015) Short video

Tag The Sponsor Exposes The Depravity Of Modern Women (2 March 2015)

A letter to my MP about laws on prostitution (12 November 2014)

Push to ban Swedes buying sex abroad (7 October 2014)

Who runs the girls? (20 September 2014)

Canada is following the wrong lead on prostitution (12 August 2014)

The truth about radical feminism (15 July 2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2fCPvuoHx0

All about the men (9 May 2014)

Men have a right to prostitutes? Really? (23 May 2014)

Conflict and agency among sex workers and pimps: A closer look at domestic minor sex trafficking (28 March 2014)

Reddit discussion thread on European moves to legalise prostitution but make buying sex illegal (the thread links to an article dated 26 February 2014)

“Getting Away” With Hating It: Consent in the Context of Sex Work (21 March 2013)

http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/feminist-governance-feminism/joy-smith-continues-her-attack-on-men/

http://reason.com/blog/2014/04/03/katha-pollitt-sex-work-and-patriarchy

http://www.thenation.com/article/179147/why-do-so-many-leftists-want-sex-work-be-new-normal#

http://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2014/04/07/legalizing-prostitution/

Do female pimps do it better? (17 September 2009)

 The relationship between prostitution and spousal support/alimony

Marriage is prostitution (A Youtube video)

http://www.thelizlibrary.org/site-index/site-index-frame.html#soulhttp://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/001.htm

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=1530033

Other related issues

Radical feminists’ objection to sex work is profoundly un-feminist (9 August 2017)

Why Cambodia’s sex workers don’t need to be saved (23 March 2016)

Feminism and male trafficking (17 December 2015)

When Rhode Island accidentally legalised prostitution, rape decreased sharply (17 July 2014)

Youtube video called ‘Sex, lies and Rinsing Guys’