Len & The Lamprey: The other side to the issue of financial abuse

I have been thinking of writing a post on this issue for some time, but was finally spurred into action after reading an article entitled ‘The financial abuse that affects 2 million Australian women‘, by Bianca Hartge-Hazelman. Bianca is the Founder & Chief Executive Officer of Financy, a finance publication for women. Bianca informs us that:

“Research indicates that financial abuse, at the hands of one partner over another in intimate relationships, is widespread and common in Australia.”

“Financial abuse is a form of domestic violence which each year costs the economy $15.6 billion, according to the National Council to Reduce Violence against Women and their Children (NCRVWC).”

So how many men are also subject to financial abuse at the hands of their partners? We don’t know as Bianca says nothing whatsoever about *that* side of the equation. Bianca’s article is not unusual in this regard, given that most articles on financial abuse ignore financial abuse perpetrated by women. Another Australian example is ‘Gloves off as the abused take control‘ (18 August 2015), whilst this one is from the U.K.

I could spend hours hunting for relevant statistics, but what’s the point when feminists are invariably nonplussed when confronted with facts anyway. Instead I thought I would take a different tack and recount to you the experiences of a male friend of mine. Let’s call him ‘Len’, and let’s call his ex-wife ‘The Lamprey‘ (or TL for short).

Lamprey-09-Doug-Owen

Len is one of the countless men who have been – and still are being – subjected to financial abuse by women they love, or once loved. His financial exploitation remains ongoing, although the worst is certainly over. He loves his kids, and with a shared custody arrangement in place Len has no choice but to remain in fairly close contact with his ex.

And no, I can assure you that I am not Len, but I do know him well enough to guarantee the accuracy of this account.

Len worked hard and accumulated assets. Although only in his thirties at the time he met his future wife, he was on the way to securing the ability to retire in his 40’s. Anyway they met and fell in love, and moved in together. A little later they married and were subsequently blessed with two youngsters.

The Lamprey had already trained as a teacher and worked in that profession for about six months before latching onto Len. I think she had also done a very limited amount of modeling work. To my knowledge she hasn’t worked another day since the time she moved in with Len.

Whilst living with Len, TL *chose* not to work. AFAIK there was no pressure from Len either way. Len paid for domestic help (i.e. cleaner, nanny, etc), which was just as well given her aversion to grocery shopping and housework. She also sent the kids out to child care at the first opportunity. How lucky that TL had chosen a husband who didn’t mind cooking. So, you might be asking, what did she do with her time?

The Lamprey loved to spend Len’s money. She went out for long lunches with friends at expensive cafes, she went shopping for clothes, and sometimes she took herself to stay at (you guessed it) expensive health spa resorts.

One of TL’s less endearing habits was waiting for Len to come home from work and then – as he began cooking/helping kids with homework/etc, she would say “Oh, I might go and have a shower now“, not to be seen again until dinner was on the table.

All the time Len doted on his wife and kids. He didn’t fool around with other women despite having ample opportunity to do so. They occasionally quarrelled on the few occasions when Len raised the issue of TL’s selfishness and profligate spending, but he certainly was never abusive towards her. Mostly he just let it pass.

Len bought some land in a prestige location and set about building the house of his dreams. It was a long, tiring and costly process. When it was finally finished (after about 2 years) he then, with the now enthusiastic help of TL, set about furnishing it.

By some strange quirk or coincidence, soon after they moved into the new house, TL announced that she no longer loved Len and asked when he could move out. TL had already briefed a lawyer and went straight into ‘attack mode’ to get the most generous settlement achievable. Len was completely blind-sided. He refused to move out so TL rented an apartment – at Len’s expense of course.

As reality set in Len was heartbroken. He tried hard to get TL to attend counselling etc, but she was lukewarm on that idea. Upon realising she had little or no intention of continuing their marriage, and with the added stress of parenting, work and legal proceedings, Len descended into depression and required counselling and medication. His friends and family were worried about both his physical health and state of mind, and incredibly angry about TL’s behaviour.

Allow me to illustrate. On one occasion TL came to collect the children from Len’s house. Len was so ill that he had called an ambulance. TL could not even be bothered to wait with Len to ensure he was OK until the ambulance arrived.

Let’s halt at this point to consider what TL added and subtracted from their 6-7 years of marriage. On the plus side TL contributed two children and companionship for Len.

On the negative side, TL contributed not one dollar to the household budget, did the barest minimum of housework, and when-ever possible farmed the kids out to commercial childcare providers, or to the care of her husband or extended family.

The Lamprey extracted all her very considerable living expenses, 5 star holidays, her divorce-related legal expenses, a large proportion of Len’s assets, and spousal support for 12 months. Len asked TL if he could delay payment of her ‘share’ of the marital home (his dream house) as the real estate market had crashed, and he would have to sell it at a fire-sale price. No, she didn’t care, she wanted ‘her’ money immediately.

I wonder how much of Len’s money, obtained by TL thanks to our outdated and gynocentric legal system, will be preserved for their childrens’ future and how much has already been squandered?

And you know what? Just before her spousal support payments were due to terminate TL had the temerity to ask Len if he could keep the payments going for a while longer. She needed to finish her yoga course before she could earn an income – she said she planned to make a career as an instructor. Thank goodness Len trod on that fabulous idea.

Not long after that, TL moved in with another guy. She married him but wouldn’t give him the kids that he wanted so they divorced not long after. Then she moved in with some retired sugar-daddy type character. So from one sponsor to the next as the fun and/or funds started running out.

Since the divorce TL has failed to meet her responsibilities to provide for 50% child support with respect to both the time she devotes to the children, and to her financial contribution to their support. Len has let her off the hook for the sake of the children, in order to preserve some degree of harmony. He rationalises the situation by saying that if they were still married he would be paying 100% of the kids expenses anyway. Throughout the process Len has been patient and gracious to a fault.

Does TL feel in any way guilty about her behaviour? I haven’t asked her, but I don’t believe so. Hell no. Her attitude, which I suspect is quite common, is that she only took what she had a right to take under the law. So that’s gotta be fair, right? Of course, nil consideration given as to whether the law/family court itself is actually fair. Well, TL et al, it’s not.

Is this not financial abuse? Damn right it is. Am I saying that most divorces are like this? No, but Len’s situation is far from being a rare occurrence in my experience. In fact I don’t think I would know anyone in my network of friends/family/acquaintances who has not seen this pattern play out several times within their own circles. Can it be any wonder that more and more men are reconsidering the wisdom of getting married?

Anyway that’s what can happen when couples divorce (or simply separate in the case of de-facto couples). But the extent of financial abuse of men by women goes well beyond divorce. Consider:

  • ‘Sperm-jacking’, where a woman impregnates herself with sperm recovered from a condom, etc, and then demands child support (refer for example to this item)
  • Intentional pregnancy in the hope of trapping a man in marriage and/or having a child who is financially supported by another (thanks to mandatory child support till age 18) that occurs after a woman falsely tells a man that she is using contraception
  • False claims of pregnancy from women seeking ‘payment’ of claimed abortion expenses and/or alleged child support (where for example they live in another country and are less likely to be trapped in a lie).
  • Situations where a man or boy is raped by a woman, again resulting in mandatory child support (one legal precedent).
  • Paternity fraud where a man is falsely told he is the father and pays child support. There are many instances where men have become suspicious and arranged DNA testing, found they were not the parent, but the court still subsequently ordered that they continue paying child support nonetheless.

In a growing number of cases we shall also see men subject to the same type of financial abuse traditionally experienced by some women. This is the result of the growing number of couples where the man assumes the role of house-husband. This decision may be voluntary or it may result from his inability to secure employment in a work environment that is increasingly favouring women. In such cases the male partner may have either a much lower income than his wife, or no income at all.

I am not surprised that these issues were not addressed in an article on domestic financial abuse by a feminist, for none of them are even blips on the feminist radar screen. And this despite the fact that they can be life-changing events in a man’s life, and in some cases life-ending events. Let that sink in, and ponder on it the next time you hear a feminist crowing about how men should respect women and do more to support them and their causes.

As for me, I cannot and will not respect narcissistic scroungers of either gender.

See also:

My ex left me with 26,000 British pounds of debt (30 April 2019)

Mum received more than $83,000 in donations after ‘pretending to have cancer’ (9 April 2019) UK

The Internet reacts to Cardi B saying she used to drug and rob men (25 March 2019)

Men finally admit to being bullied by their exes over child access, money and love (19 March 2019)

Arizona woman can use fertilized embryos to get pregnant without ex’s consent, court rules (19 March 2019) USA. And *he* has to pay

Men becoming “increasing victims” of coercive control, legal experts claim  (9 March 2019)

When male rape victims are accountable for child support (21 February 2019)

Thousands of dads are left in shock as DIY paternity tests soar (15 January 2019) UK

Domestic Violence and Immigration Fraud Part 2 (20 November 2018) Video

Love-rat faked cancer to dupe three Tinder dates (16 October 2018)

Americans Conned into Marrying Immigrants for Green Cards (14 July 2018)

#MeToo has rich men wary of extortion (8 March 2019)

Three charts on: how emotional and economic abuse go hand-in-hand (20 November 2017) See also reader’s comment by Chris Lloyd illustrating similarity in rates of male/female abuse.

Vancouver women’s shelter sues the victim (6 November 2017)

Millionaires Reduced to Under $10 by Divorce (19 October 2017) A Stefan Molyneux video

Hotshot Wall Street banker says jilted lover drove his Benz into pool (15 October 2017) Men routinely criticized for treating women as sex objects, but women can treat men as success objects/ATM’s with minimal recriminations.

How feminism destroys families (12 September 2017) UK

LIZ JONES: Women NEED diamond rings – it makes hitting men easier (21 August 2017) Liz thinks that both physical abuse and financial abuse of men is OK/justified

Family trusts often cause more harm than good (26 July 2017) Author tut-tuts at men who establish legal structures to protect assets in the event of divorce, or in his words “to avoid the fair division of property after a relationship breakdown”. Because the law is always fair, right? And if someone has to be harmed then it might was well be the husband.

‘My wife didn’t tell me she was trying to get pregnant’ (22 July 2017)

Family finances and family violence: the conversation we need to start, by Moo Baulch (27 June 2017) Hard-line feminist and key figure in Domestic Violence Industry acknowledges male victims – will wonders never cease?

In May 2017 much media attention was given to a practice labelled as ‘stealthing’, whereby men remove their condom during sex without their partners consent (example). Few articles even made passing reference to the fact that women perpetrate a similar act when they falsely claim to be using contraceptives in order to ‘trap’ a man in a relationship and/or secure an income stream via child support payments. This issue was addressed in this article, and then in a follow-up article by Martin Daubney. See also this Reddit discussion thread.

Bell v Landry: paying your wife an ‘allowance’ is an insult (10 May 2017) One-sided wisdom from misandrist journalist, Jenna Price.

Karl Stefanovic and Cassandra Thorburn complete carving-up of assets six months after announcement (6 May 2017) Gee, it costs a guy a lot to keep in touch with his kids nowadays, huh? Another divorce-rape

Man killed himself after being conned out of his life savings by fake girlfriend he met on dating site (5 May 2017) UK

Prostitute allegedly conspired with two male friends to rob cashed-up miner, but inadvertently killed him (4 May 2017)

Millionaire tycoon loses legal fight to stop wife who cheated on him walking away with half of his £150 million fortune (12 April 2017) with related Reddit discussion thread here

When having separate bank accounts is the opposite of independence, by Polly Dunning (21 March 2017) Australia. And again, because only men financially abuse and humiliate their partners.

The biggest financial risk for women today? Embarking on a relationship (19 March 2017) One can always rely on The Guardian to provide an alternative and suitably distorted view of reality.

Unwanted child is no grounds to sue mum for lying about taking the pill: court (4 March 2017)

Now it’s men who are the victims of lonely hearts fraudsters (8 March 2017) UK

Revealed: the hidden problem of economic abuse in Australia (2 March 2017) This article provides corresponding figures for abuse of men, although the definition employed excludes many of the variations of abuse noted in this post.

Economic abuse a relatively unknown form of domestic violence (2 March 2017)

‘Getting divorced? Go after his pension’ (25 February 2017)

Men outraged over paying child support for kids who are not theirs (23 February 2017) USA

Conwoman Sanaa Derbas jailed for dating scam targeting lonely men (23 February 2017)

A website dedicated to trapping men with falsified pregnancy documents, sonograms, test results, etc. is ruthlessly investigated … many male victims interviewed (13 February 2017) Reddit discussion thread with linked video.

‘Reliable honest’ husband who handed his wife, 51, all of his ready cash in a divorce 15 years ago is told he must up her maintenance after she blows the lot on ‘unwise property investments’ (7 February 2017) UK

Chilling confession of ‘Sextortion Queen’ in Philippines (24 January 2017)

‘He took away my money and my freedom’: Financial abuse is just as destructive as physical abuse but often goes unnoticed (22 January 2017) UK

Very much focused on the abuse of women, but at least this article notes that 40% of victims (in the cited study) were male.

When care becomes control – financial abuse cuts across cultures (17 January 2017) Why bother surveying men when financial abuse only happens to women, right?

Nearly a third of parents unwilling to leave estate to their children for fear they will lose it in divorce (4 January 2017)

Nearly half of men who take paternity test are not the real father (3 January 2017) UK

The boss and the secretary: Five reasons powerful men get beautiful girls (20 December 2016) Australia. And another article promoting the notion that only men exploit women.

Woman Claims She’s Paying College Bills With Positive Pregnancy Tests (19 December 2016) USA

This year the most attractive men in the world will lose hundreds of millions to their divorcing wives: Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt and now George Clooney too: his wife is ready to get at least $ 300 million dollars from him (11 December 2016) Reddit men’s rights discussion thread

Mum charged with faking DNA tests to con ex into thinking he was baby’s dad (8 December 2016) UK

Teacher who started a £30m-a-year fashion empire from his garage fights to stop his ex-wife getting £2.7m of his fortune – more than a decade after they split (29 November 2016)

Domestic violence also has an economic penalty – we need to tackle it (29 November 2016) and Financial abuse: The hidden form of domestic violence affecting millions (25 November 2016) Two more articles re: financial abuse that doesn’t even hint that men can also be victimised in this manner

Banks enhance support for family and domestic violence victims (22 November 2016) Australia. The guidelines seem to be reasonably gender-neutral, although I wonder to what extent they will be as applied in real-life. There is also no mention made of the reality of false accusations being made as a form of abuse.

Woman asks her 20 boyfriends to buy her a new iPhone, then sells them all for house deposit (2 November 2016)

Mariah Carey and James Packer split gets nasty with name calling, $50M demand (29 October 2016)

Doctor sues gay friend for child support, 16 years after he first donated sperm to her (27 October 2016)

Sumner Redstone Sues Ex-Companions for Elder Abuse to Reclaim $150M in Gifts (25 October 2016)

Jets, vacation homes, Botox all factors in cancer center founder’s divorce (21 October 2016) USA

Males Out of Work – NYT Does Not Get It (18 October 2016) It’s worth considering that whilst there exists this backdrop of financial abuse, the financial well-being of many men is declining considerably rendering them less able to rebound after losses are incurred.

Marital wallet rape is bad, m’kay? (6 October 2016)

Fake pregnancy: MGTOW (2 October 2016) Video

Blame the Patriarchy! (29 September 2016)

James tells Mariah: ‘Stop spending all my money!’ (26 September 2016)

Man wins fight against paying support for another man’s child (23 September 2016)

ShowerThought about paternity fraud (11 September 2016) Reddit discussion thread

‘I’m not paying for that’: Financial abuse is awfully common (6 September 2016)

Well at least this article acknowledges that some financial abuse of men does occur … only to minimise it by saying “While men are also affected by financial abuse, the majority of cases are women”. Hmm, sounds like so many domestic violence article doesn’t it?

Eddie the Eagle’s fallen flat on his face: Divorce reduces to ski-jump hero to living on egg sandwiches in his shed because his wife has taken £180,000 Hollywood windfall (5 September 2016)

Mum convinces husband to pay for £6,000 boob job then becomes glamour model and dumps him (1 September 2016) UK

“I pleaded with him to lend me the money and knew it would give me a new lease of life” … “I didn’t really have any desire to pay him back. If I had to choose between the boobs and him, it was an easy choice.”

[Parental rights] This is what we’re up against (BURIED in a legal advice sub) (30  August 2016) Reddit discussion thread

Berlin to Require Mums to Come Clean on ‘Milkmen’s Kids’ (29 August 2016) Then read how an Australian feminist thinks this is all about slut-shaming (no mention of the notion of fraud or men being due some modicum of respect.

Comedian Aries Spears: ‘Women … Rape men financially’ through child support demands (24 August 2016)

Sydney mum defrauded lonely men of $2 million (23 August 2016)

American Slavery: Man Paying Child Support for Another Man’s Kid (1 August 2016) USA

US man forced to pay support for a child that’s not his (30 July 2016)

And in a cruel twist, it ‘Turns Out That the Husband’s Job Is Probably the Best Predictor of Divorce‘ (28 July 2016) So those men get hammered twice

Women selling/buying positive pregnancy tests (March 2015) Youtube video

In Defense Of Gold Diggers: It’s Not Always What It Seems (17 January 2015) with related Reddit discussion thread here.

Nurse faked DNA test and pretended friend’s baby was her own to trick one-night stand walks free from prison (1 December 2014)

Relationship problems and money: Women talk about financial abuse by Prue Cameron (2014) Australia

“Financial abuse in a family violence context involves behaviours that ‘control a woman’s ability to acquire, use and maintain economic resources, threatening her economic security and potential for self-sufficiency’” (p13)

Financial abuse of men not even recognised in the definition used for this research project, which subsequently surveyed only women and made recommendations that only applied to women. This despite the fact that most or even all of the specific forms of abuse discussed, such as being dragged into and out of family court, also clearly are also experiences that also apply to men.

Man who paid child support for 22 years can’t get a refund (19 August 2014)

National Organisation of Women (USA) opposes measures that would help protect men from paternity fraud (6 July 2014)

Meet the woman who’s dating her way into meals at top Toronto restaurants (25 October 2013)

How to snag a rich man: Confessions of a gold digger (31 July 2013)

Rape victim in the USA (a boy) is sued for child support (2004) with related Reddit discussion thread here

Should paternity tests at birth be mandatory (12 February 2013) Video

Should we be doing more to expose paternity fraud? (4 September 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Woman steals ex-boyfriends sperm, has twins, sues for child support(23 November 2011)

http://news.yahoo.com/video/man-may-jailed-not-paying-203459828.html

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/35rlw6/a_paternity_test_will_be_available_to_buy_over/

Can you make a male baby sitter pay child support?

bludge

Other posts in this blog of relevance to this issue include:

The ‘Marriage Strike’ and MGTOW
On Spousal Maintenance / Alimony
We’ve all heard of the gender ‘income gap’, but what about the ‘expense gap’?
Who pays on dates?
On recognising and supporting male victims of domestic violence

Regarding gender reversal and sexist double-standards

The Men’s Rights forum on reddit.com makes for great reading if you want to get a quick handle on gender issues from a non-feminist perspective. The forum often features discussion threads that exemplify the frequently outrageous double-standards disseminated by the feminist movement and mainstream media alike.

Here’s a selection of alternative scenarios wherein which one might do well to flip genders and re-assess the situation …

Feminist MP Layla Moran admits to being the latest female perpetrator of domestic violence in Parliament (24 March 2019) UK. And now I’d recommend scanning a relevant Twitter feed, after looking at these comments by Ally Fogg.

BBC berates male domestic violence victim for speaking out – names sexist bursary scheme in honour of his abuser (28 November 2017)

MMA fighter outright refuses to pose with ring girl following harassment claim (26 November 2018)

Racy ad campaign featuring naked men called out for being ‘sexist’ (15 October 2017)

New Data Reveals Fat Women Don’t Like Fat Men And They Demand You Be OK With It (9 October 2017)

5 Proven Reasons There’s Merit In Sticking It To Your Ex (11 August 2017)

Rape juries to hear more about men’s sexual history to increase chance of conviction (8 August 2017)

Jack Wilson’s budgie smugglers almost eclipsed the Ninja Warrior finale (26 July 2017)

Cristiano Ronaldo in underwear goes viral faster: #RonaldoFaster Commercial (11 July 2017) Imagine if this was a female athlete?

New low for UK national newspaper ‘The Independent’, as headline explains away a BBC paedophile abusing a CHILD as her “performing a sex act on a young MAN because it was EMPOWERING to her”. Feminist bias and hypocrisy over abuse reporting is worst I’ve ever seen (3 June 2017) Reddit discussion thread here.

‘Body shaming’ Playboy model Dani Mathers says her privacy was invaded along with her victim’s (1 June 2017) Now reverse the genders. Imagine the howls if a male perpetrator got slap on the wrist punishment and then complained about the invasion of his privacy!

Barbara Kay: No consequences for women who “stealth” men (12 May 2017)

Can you imagine the furore if genders were switched with this news.com.au story about female sex-tourists enjoying the skills of male Balinese prostitutes?

Facebook investigating Bad Girls Advice following claims its breaches Community Standards (27 April 2017)

It’s OK to fat-shame as long as the target is male (10 March 2017) UK

Basketball team blasted for ‘sexist’ poster showing close up of woman’s exposed breasts (7 March 2017)

“The club also released a picture of a topless male model, complete with sixpack, for the big match — but it was the women’s poster which did not escape the wrath of social media.” Because … and despite …

Emma Watson on Vanity Fair cover: ‘Feminism is about giving women choice’ (6 March 2017)

The following is “Proudly supported by the Australian Government” through “The Australian Council for the Arts” (21 February 2017) Reddit discussion thread and linked resources. Can you imagine the uproar if this was written about white women? How quickly the relevant gov’t agency would distance themselves from the author?

All-male singing group subject to protests whilst all-female singing group at same Uni, not so much (14 February 2017)

‘Elephant donger’: I’m A Celeb girl talk turns filthy over Kris Smith (31 January 2017) Care for some casual objectification of men?

Women kicking balls? I’d like to see that (22 January 2017) a new TV ad campaign to support women’s sport. Good goal, poorly executed … let’s continue making light of female violence. And in terms of gender-reversal … ‘Men grabbing pussy? I’d like to see that‘ saw unending scorn being poured forth upon Donald Trump … and switching genders doesn’t make it suddenly funny.

Comment about female sports reporters in male changing rooms (21 December 2016)

Nova 100 radio & Chrissie Swan celebrates the severing of a man’s penis (26 November 2016)

Wilderness School girls under fire for ‘hook-up wall’ of boys, who claim a double standard of sexual objectification (11 November 2016) with related Reddit discussion thread here.

The Acceptable Bigotry of Michelle Obama (October 2016)

Perth man says he won’t date women who are ‘over 30 and overweight’ (5 October 2016) Article neglects to mention that women cut off men as abruptly as this (due to some perceived deficiency re: money/career/height/car/etc) every  single day. The difference is man complains about getting rebuffed = loser/creep, whereas woman complains about getting rebuffed = victim/hero. Related Reddit discussion thread here.

Domestic violence double standards – male MP was forced to stand down when cautioned for assaulting partner yet Sarah Champion receives support for same crime (26 September 2016) UK. More on that issue here and here.

I’m tired of being ashamed of my micro-penis‘ (25 September 2016) And no, I don’t anticipate a companion piece about a woman with an extremely loose vagina because it’s only OK to objectify/demean men with click-bait rubbish like this.

10 years jail versus no jail: Guess which sex-offender was female?

There’s nothing shameful about this body (9 September 2016) Goodlooking guys have no right to feel objectified (only women can do that)

Feminist MP who sought suspension of Philip Davies for “sexism” attended gender segregated rally & was elected via all-women shortlist (16 August 2016)

Journalists have used the 2016 Olympics in Rio as as opportunity to yet again demonstrate how objectification of men is OK, whilst simultaneously ranting about alleged objectification of female athletes:

Apparently NBC allows its female hosts to fondle topless athletes on live TV (8 August 2016) Again, anyone remember the Chris Gayle incident in Australia? I’m surprised this incident didn’t make it into Cosmopolitan‘s ‘Most Sexist Moments of the 2016 Olympics‘. No, I’m not, because you can’t be sexist towards men, right?

36 of the Greatest Summer Olympic Bulges (3 August 2016) Cosmopolitan provides this classic display of sexist double-standards, after previously publishing an article entitled ‘Confirmed: Why men who objectify women are effing horrible‘. In a subsequent article the author makes a weak attempt at justifying publication of the earlier article. And here’s Cosmo at it again a couple of weeks later.

Reader’s comment: “It’s all very simple. Admiring female beauty is wrong. Admiring male physiques is right. When you replace ‘objectification’ with ‘admire’, you illustrate how moronic the concept is. I have asked feminists the difference between objectification and admiration, and the answer is some purported subtle difference in attitude in the mind of the beholder. Rather conveniently, only a feminist can tease this difference out, like a French pig sniffing for truffles.” (Source).

This feminist takes the classic perspective that it’s different for women to objectify men because women don’t abuse or assault men, etc. See related Reddit discussion thread here.

Another magazine, The Berry, followed Cosmo’s lead. See related Reddit discussion here. Oh, and here comes pro-feminist news.com.au’s equally tasteless and hypocritical contribution entitled ‘We need to talk about the men’s rowing uniform’

Man denies his penis ended his Olympics dream (18 August 2016) Oh look, another Olympics male objectification story. But the author informs us that it’s all in jest, so it’s OK

************

Body shaming is horrible, unless it’s against men (21 August 2016)

Personal trainer claims he was dropped from Loose Women for ‘refusing to take my top off’ (18 July 2016) UK with related Reddit discussion thread here

Lesbian MMA fighter celebrates championship win by kissing announcer (10 May 2016) Anyone remember the Chris Gayle incident?

Spurned lover daubs graffiti over ‘cheating’ partner’s Range Rover (5 May 2016) Can you imagine these comments being printed if the “spurned lover” was male?

“Bemused onlookers praised the scorned woman’s courage as the alleged love rat jumped in his car and sped off. Stylist Connie Nakala, 28, said: “She’s brilliant. An inspiration to all women everywhere!” While Associate Nitin Sharma, 30, said: “She was very brave to do it. And good for her.””

Hulk Hogan called a ‘wuss’ by hypocritical American talk show host (23 March 2016)

Madonna strips girl to reveal her breast part. Where are the feminists? (19 March 2016) Australia

Boy and girl, both 16, have consensual sex–only the boy faces statutory rape charges (17 March 2016) Ireland

Kentucky court rules in underage sex case involving teens (17 March 2016) USA

Why do so few men turn up to hear women speak? by Ruby Hamad (10 March 2016) Australia with related Reddit discussion thread here. No reciprocal responsibility for feminists to attend MRA events. My blog post on this issue is here.

It’s OK to objectify men on The Morning Show (2 February 2016) Australia

WATCH: ‘Can you take your shirt off?’ Dakota Johnson and Leslie Mann hit on reporter (2 February 2016) This incident was also covered in this article by Martin Daubney

Win a date with Doctor Mike! (18 January 2016) Hands up who doesn’t think we will see ‘Win a date with Doctor Vanessa!’ anytime soon?

In this incident a female sports presenter made disparaging on-air comments about the appearance of a football player, but when he responded like-for-like then HE was the one subject to public criticism (14 January 2016)

“They’ll shame young men who move away from marriage but when a woman does it she’s being independent” (6 November 2015) Reddit discussion thread and linked article

Women are allowed to objectify men because (8 September 2015) and related reddit discussion thread

Hey, that’s *our* trick!, by Dalrock (1 May 2015)

Royal tragic kisses Harry and proposes – for third time (7 May 2015) Stalker commits (sexual?) assault but it’s said to be “cheeky” and a source of humour – after all the perp is only a girl. In this article the commission of this crime is said to “delight” the crowd.

‘Australia’s hottest men’ on the Sunrise TV show (31 March 2015) Video

What would happen if a female TV host was discussed by male journalists in this manner? (31 March 2015)

20 Feminist Headlines That Would Count As Hate Speech If They Were Written About Jews, by Janet Bloomfield (24 March 2015)

When ladies rule (22 November 2014)

double_standards

A men-only UN conference on gender equality? If only it was a joke (7 October 2014)

Female rapist pursues statutory rape victim for child support (2 September 2014)

Is it acceptable for the BBC to say this about men? (3 September 2014)

Eight benefits of dating a younger man (27 August 2014) Read this article carefully and then imagine the sexes were reversed. Would the article have been published? What would the public reaction have been?

Why we objectify men without guilt (21 August 2014)

Why Britain’s women are allowed to sexually objectify men (19 October 2014)

Full frontal Disney: Feminism’s Nudity Double Standard (19 August 2014)

Thought experiment: Let’s reverse the sexes in this story about drunk shaming (2 August 2014)

Video contrasts negative consequences of domestic violence for Chris Brown with the success of husband beater Mary J. Bilge. Feminists downvote it to oblivion (2013) Reddit discussion thread with linked video

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/25co9f/another_rant_about_coworkers_and_manning_up/

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/25cm81/the_other_woman_three_men_gang_up_to_take_vicious/

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/25cr74/americas_first_lady_would_do_well_to_remember/

http://www.hireahubby.com.au/residential-services/about-hire-a-hubby.php Can you imagine the public reaction to someone starting a business called “Hire a wife”?

Alex from Target gets objectified, but it’s ok because Alex is a boy (November 2014) Related reddit discussion thread here and a follow-up article here

Halle attacks Gabriel as a deadbeat who is using child support to avoid having to work. She says, “There is no case, no law, no logic that says a healthy, active man gets to simply live off child support that the wealthier mother earns.”‘ (3 November 2014) Reddit discussion thread and linked article

Sexist double standards? They’re mostly against men via @RationalMale (4 September 2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E07ulYo_H2s

“If a fraternity posted a sign that branded certain women “sluts,” does anyone seriously think the fraternity would not be punished for that? That the school’s president wouldn’t condemn it and call for an investigation and hearings? That Bwog and like-minded progressive outlets wouldn’t have a conniption? But it’s okay to distribute flyers calling certain men rapists. (And which is worse, being called a “slut” or a “rapist”?)

Only in the loopy world of academia and progressive media outlets would such a double standard be deemed acceptable.” A comment by Pierce Harlan at http://www.avoiceformalestudents.com/vigilante-rape-hysteria-at-columbia-university/

Read how this author, Barbara Ellen, rationalises that having sex with underage students is OK if the student is a teenage boy – This shameful liaison does not deserve prison (29 November 2009). Then in a later article Barbara goes on to explain that intimate partner violence is not so bad if the person doing the hitting is female – Solange and Jay-Z: It’s simply not the same if a man is hit by a woman (18 May 2014). Thankfully, there then followed two sound rebuttals by Ally Fogg and Jonathan Taylor. And a March 2015 McCain article on the issue.

This is progress, I think? Huffpo uses the term “rape” for a female teacher and a male minor. Note that two other news sources didn’t use the R-word (6 November 2014) Reddit mensrights discussion thread and linked article

Here is another article on the Jay Z Solange incident – Another side of the double standard (20 May 2014)

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See also:

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men, by Lorenzo Jensen III (7 February 2017)

A Long Island Bar’s Age Policy Differs for Men and Women. Is It Legal? (10 August 2016) USA

The Confused Male: Do women really want what they say they want? (3 May 2016) UK

This is the moment Sunrise’s Nuala Hafner asked a ‘muscly man’ on a beach if he was single live on national TV – a year before Chris Gayle sleazed onto Mel McLaughlin. So what’s the difference? (6 January 2016)

Upset By Gayle’s Lechery? Remember Sharapova Flirting With This Journalist? (5 January 2016)

Nikkole Paulun and How the Media Brain Washes Men into Serving Deadbeat Moms (6 January 2016) USA

Chivalry but equality: The feminist double-standard, by Prentice Reid (21 April 2015)

No-Questions-Asked Safe Haven Baby Abandonment Law now in all 50 US States /w No Financial nor Legal Penalty For Women Only. Men Still Shackled With Debilitating Child Support Obligations. No Safe Haven Child Abandonment Exists For Men (22 March 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread and linked article

Two Teens Have Sex. Neither Could Legally Consent, But Only the Boy Gets a Felony Charge (10 March 2015)

Australian breakfast TV show ‘Sunrise’ covers the ‘cougar’ phenomenon (26 February 2015) Older men+younger women is creepy and exploitative, but older women+younger guys is funny/harmless or even empowering. You know, a case of ‘go girl’.

The Feminist View from a comfortable armchair (20 February 2015)

Five male university students accused of sexual assault are suing the school — and you will enjoy the school’s response  (6 February 2015)

What statements/generalizations about men are you tired of hearing from women? (6 February 2015) A reddit mensrights discussion thread

http://do-feminists-kno.tumblr.com/ Contains several examples of feminist hypocrisy and double-standards

[Study] Men who treat women the same as they treat other men, without benevolent sexism/female privilege, are seen as overwhelmingly sexist by both men and women (15 January 2015) Academic thesis and associated Reddit mensrights discussion thread

Observations from my time in menswear (6 November 2014) Reddit mensrights discussion thread

‘Good Men Project’ article about how men should accept abusive girlfriends (25 August 2014)

The ‘Fappening’ and Media Hypocrisy (3 September 2014) This video concerns the hacking & leaking of nude celebrity pics

Judge asks, Why are only boys charged with underage sex? (29 May 2014)

Double standards – Feminism’s sorry record on the subject of rape (31 March 2014)

Down boy! On training your man like a puppy (1 August 2014) This one would go down like a bomb if a man wrote it about woman, but because it’s about men it’s (meant to be) funny. Yeah right

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