Those of you who have spent time in Asian countries might have noticed a lot of western women reading books in cafes and looking somewhat bored. In various web sites and discussion forums one may read their plaintive cries about feeling “invisible” (e.g. Japan/China) and having trouble finding guys who will give them the attention they feel they deserve.
It would appear that most western guys in Thailand, for example, have little time for western women. Instead they appear to prefer the company of more feminine, laidback (and yes, often more attractive) Thai ladies. And cynics note that I am referring to Thai ladies in general, and not simply bar-girls.
I even read a post the other day where a female expat stated that she was tired of western men in Thailand “disrespecting” western women in the way they pointedly ignore them. Tragic, just tragic.
In my blog post ‘I thought women were meant to be more empathetic‘ I talk about the issue of western women in Thailand flaunting local dress standards. Is this ‘look at me! look at me!’ behaviour in response to the ‘attention deficit mode’ that many western women appear to descend into within days of arrival in Asia? Or is it simply a reflection of a broader attitude of ‘my need to indulge myself trumps your right to have local social mores respected’?
Moving across to India, read about ‘The woman who says that it’s not only men who like to look‘ (24 August 2016)
Why don’t Western men in Asian countries lift their game and jump at the opportunity of approaching western women? Oh wait, they have already tried that back home and were rewarded with looks of disdain or contempt – or even accused of harassment. I can see this is going to be a tough sell.
So what then, you may ask, is the current situation in western countries such as USA, Canada, the UK, and Australia?
Well in the West men are confused, for they are routinely dragged over the coals for alternately either paying too much attention to women, or not enough. Or about the right amount but they are doing it wrong. Oh, and the goalposts regarding the ‘right’ way are continuously being moved.
On that first point, readers would be aware of the surfeit of publicity regarding the unwanted looks and attention that women attract from men, and how such behaviour threatens and disgusts them (example here).
And then every now and then there is an incident that serves as a lightning rod and focus for demands for action. Let’s look at the example of THAT infamous New York street harassment video …
- Why I’m Not Buying That New York City Street Harassment Video (30 October 2014)
- New York Times: Should Black And Hispanic Men Be Banned From Chatting Up White Feminist Women? (3 November 2014)
- Dear Sydney men, you’re no New Gawkers — you’re just very spoiled (arrogant and rude too!) (4 November 2014) Article is rubbish but some interesting comments
- Keeping It Topical: That Catcalling Video (5 November 2014)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwdoXbxFwuY and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75aX9mlipiY&feature=youtu.be (See also http://i.imgur.com/BXvmuYa.png) Both videos feature guys being ‘harassed’ as they walk the streets)
- Christina Hoff Summers on ‘What the Catcalling video gets wrong‘ (10 November 2014)
- Many months later Australian feminists were still trying to milk this video in their never-ending quest to demonize men (17 March 2015). The video was cited again in this December 2016 article on catcalling. And again in this June 2017 article in The Conversation.
In February 2017 another fake street harassment video emerged … ‘Video of raging female cyclist lashing out at van full of catcalling builders ‘revealed as FAKE’ as company pledges to launch internal probe’
In November 2017 another such fake street harassment video emerged … “Woman attacks man with her breasts for ‘staring at her’”
In early December 2018 an article appeared entitled ‘Is Australia sexist? Documentary asks if men and women are equal in the 21st century‘ – and of course there’s a video of Aussie guys looking at, and calling out to, Aussie women. Bettina Arndt had earlier written an article about the set-up that was the original ‘study’ in The Australian. Now take a look at this video critique of the SBS program.
I’d suggest now reading the two articles below, which set the scene quite well for the additional sources that follow:
The Sexodus, Part 1: The men giving up on women and checking out of society (4 December 2014) with related discussion thread here, and The Sexodus, Part 2: Dishonest Feminist panics leave male sexuality in crisis (9 December 2014) … and here is a link to a related Youtube video
And now feel free to peruse these further sources regarding the increasingly fraught issue of public interaction between the genders:
Are masks giving men a license to leer? Women report a rise in ‘aggressive eye contact’ (28 July 2020)
Women are fun (July 2020) Video
Men: Before you tell a joke/give advice/pay a compliment. A twitter stream from a woman with advice for men (4 September 2019)
Danish women prefer wolf-whistles to feminism (11 May 2019)
The Victorian Government (Australia) has issued a video highlighting the horror of women receiving unwanted attention on public transport, and – surprise surprise – calling on men to step in and deal with other men (9 April 2019). ‘Independent Man’ responds to this rather well with his own video.
Of course governments never step in and ask women to deal with other women who transgress one ‘rule’ or another, err like sexually abusing students for example. Because that would be hateful or misogynistic or something bad. Or something.
Unsafe in the City – A Tale of Five Cities, by Plan International (October 2018) This pro-feminist ‘study’ unsurprisingly completely ignores not just all the people who manage to remain safe in the city, but also both male victimisation and female violence.
Young woman was handed a note on the train (October 2018) Video
Flight etiquette: I broke the one rule of long-haul flying (5 September 2018) But of course the guy in the plane seat next to you wants to get to know you
#MeToo Backlash In Corporate Canada Sees Women Locked Out (2 August 2018)
Men, take heed from the Victorians: don’t hound women in public (31 May 2018) Clearly no need to consider inappropriate behaviour by women, or the steps needed to address this.
Confusing sexual harassment with flirting hurts women (14 November 2017) by Cathy Young
Op-Ed: Is ‘Weinsteining’ getting out of hand? (1 November 2017) by Cathy Young
Man jailed for creepily staring at Glasgow pharmacy assistant through window (27 October 2017) UK
Trump did to Merkel what men do to women all the time, by Jessica Valenti (March 2017)
Sexless in Silicon Valley: why nobody’s getting laid in America’s tech hub (19 January 2017) Not much sex or dating taking place and, of course, the blame is placed at the feet of socially inept men because …
Harassment of women by men at Summernats cannot be excused or ignored, by Clementine Ford (16 January 2017) Australia. This article includes the statement:
“Why are the events like the mass groping at Cologne used as an example of how immigrant men pose a threat to “our women”, yet white Australian men acting in a similar fashion at a car show is dismissed as “boys being boys”?”
And this with no evidence provided – aside from two vague anecdotal accounts – that any man laid a hand on a woman at Summernats 2017. No mention, for example, of any actual police reports. In fact, I have been advised that in the entire 30 year history of Summernats there have been only two reported sexual assaults. And yet this being, allegedly, in a “similar fashion” to the outrage that occurred on NYE in Cologne? Talk about a reach!
These two pictures were both taken at Summernats, guess which one featured in Clementine’s article?
I’m a feminist who’s attracted to ‘manly men’ (13 September 2016)
Lads! Britain needs you to do your duty and get flirting (24 August 2016) UK
A life time of leers (5 June 2016) Reddit discussion thread with linked article
Where Did All The Chat Up Lines Go? Why We Miss Them… (27 November 2015)
“The days when men could be bothered to try and muster any sort of conversational gambit are gone” (6 December 2015) Reddit discussion thread and linked article
Model has ribs removed to transform into real-life Jessica Rabbit (27 November 2015)
Disgusted father tells woman on train to sit down (24 February 2012) Video Canada
Barrister names and shames senior lawyer who sent her a ‘sexist’ LinkedIn message (8 September 2015) Quite barking mad. And here is some ever-articulate commentary on the matter from ‘The Other McCain‘ (12 September 2015)
‘Ghosted’ by my boyfriend: After four years together he left and I never heard from him again (28 August 2015) Stick around after break-up (creepy stalker) or move on/start a clean page (thoughtless cad)
Feminists, and how to avoid them (12 August 2015)
Young women need to ‘tone down’…really? (1 August 2015) See readers comments
“In honesty, I didn’t make my sign”: SlutWalk revisited (Edmonton edition) (12 August 2015)
OK Cupid Data on Sex, Desirability, and Age (3 July 2015)
The trials and tribulations of a token pretty girl (28 December 2014) and related reddit menrights discussion thread
Alex from Target: The other side of fame (12 November 2014) Objectified and harassed, but wait! How can this be? (Alex is a boy)
Rise of the Feminist Tinder-Creep-Busting Web Vigilante (27 October 2014) Read those comments and feel the frustration and anger. Next stop MGTOW
Boycott college women while in college (24 October 2014)
HuffPo and Salon slut-shame men (14 October 2014)
Vancouver men, please stop harassing women (12 October 2014)
On Not Approaching Women At All (9 September 2014)
Read transcript of an item on a US TV show entitled ‘Libs want men to stop looking at women‘
Feminism versus Miley Cyrus (20 April 2014)
Getting over feeling invisible after 50 (23 December 2013)
Breast enlargement remains the most popular procedure (UK) and in the United States too (2013). In fact if you want a good chuckle then google on ‘feminism and breast augmentation’ and see the fur fly as feminists who have had their chests packed with silicon try to rationalise their decision (“I did it for myself, really”). Of course you did.
See the readers comment by ‘Okrahead’ about the spandex ‘lady’ in the gym in this article
Learn how approaching women in a nightclub is “harassment” perpetrated by “creeps”. Seriously guys, why bother? Interesting related discussion can be found here
In-depth: How We Waded Into The Sexual Harassment Quagmire — And How to Wade Out: One Man’s View (11 December 2011) Interesting big-picture viewpoint
The new math of campus (5 February 2010) Aw gee, not enough guys to go around on campus … and that was 2010 and there’s even less guys on campus now! ROTFL! Take a bow, feminism
Read article entitled “Men here, they don’t even turn their head to look at you.” Awww. Gee, I wonder why this would happen … maybe because of attitudes like those expressed by the wimmin quoted below …
Men and women are individuals whose position with regards to interacting with other individuals is influenced by many variables including age, relationship status, sexual orientation, cultural background, etc. There is no ‘one size fits all’.
Men are criticized both for approaching women, and for not approaching women. Some women live for male attention, others want none, with the remainder happy to engage at the times, and in the manner, of their choosing. Oh, and an individual woman’s position may change on a daily basis and/or depending upon the perceived attractiveness of the male who approaches her.
As women do not hold up signs advising of their own particular preferences, even well-meaning men – who comprise the overwhelming majority – are in a constant state of uncertainty, unease and frustration. Maybe if all women could organise themselves onto the same page, and circulate universal guidelines, things might be different. But we all know that’s not going to happen.
Feminists stoking the fire of misunderstanding and paranoia between the genders sure doesn’t help things, and only serves to propel ever more men towards a MGTOW lifestyle.
Elsewhere in this blog you might be interested in reading:
Girls showing their bits = empowerment? patriarchal exploitation? self-indulgence? other?
The ‘Marriage Strike’ and MGTOW
On privilege, respect, and entitlement
Fembots may prove to be a game changer
Harassment and discrimination in business and the workplace: Surprise, surprise, it goes both ways
When men have a daughter (another tale of male-blaming and silencing)