Oh, if only I could get a dollar each time I heard a woman say “where have all the nice guys gone!?” (here’s a recent offering). One may not, however, mention the corresponding query “where have all the nice girls gone” because that would be so terribly misogynistic.
Well, some clever guys made their way to Asia or to other parts of the world where the influence of feminism is less pervasive. Many others are waking up and smelling the coffee with respect to what a bad deal marriage can be for men. As a consequence a large and steadily increasing number of men are choosing not to get married, a phenomenon some have labelled ‘The Marriage Strike’.
Other men are taking it a step further and opting not to enter into ANY significant ongoing relationships with women. This latter group are referred to as ‘Men going their own way’ or MGTOW, which is discussed in this video.
A google search on the term ‘marriage strike’ produced many results, including these:
Many would have you believe that this phenomenon reflects men’s unwillingness to commit and accept responsibility to a union of equals. In fact the thread running through all feminists articles on the subject (and most MSM articles too) is that women are dateless or single wholly because of one or more named deficiencies on the part of men. There is rarely even the glimmer of a suggestion that some responsibility rests with women themselves.
Of course there are some men who have issues, but for most the decision not to marry is one of pragmatism. It is the outcome of a rational cost/benefit analysis by men that weighs up all the things they might (or will) lose through marriage, versus those things that they will (or are likely to) gain. The institution of marriage has now swung so far, in terms of the respective rights and responsibilities of men and women, that for men there is unfortunately now only one logical choice.
My own mother is in her 90’s and remains fiercely independent, and still very much sound of mind. Just in her circle of friends and family she has heard plenty of horror stories about guys being divorce-raped by selfish manipulative women. And her take on it? She says that if she was a young guy nowadays then there would be no way to get her to the altar as the odds are so very much stacked against them.
Read the articles below and see if you can seriously blame men for walking away from the institution of marriage. I despair at the number of women that I encounter whose primary, if not sole, focus is on what they can get from a relationship. I strain to see evidence of any serious thought being given to the question of “what I can contribute to this union to ensure it remains strong and fairly balanced?” It’s almost as if their sense of entitlement is so overwhelming that they believe that merely the pleasure of their company should suffice (refer this tweet for example).
Start with these three nuggets of harpy wisdom:
Celibate, Misogynist and Proud —This Is What Contemporary Feminism Has Done to Men (9 October 2016) Be sure to scan the readers comments. See also related Reddit discussion thread here.
Want to get yourself a man? Then shut up (20 January 2016) Strong women can’t get a man because of the unrealistic/unreasonable/inappropriate expectations/behaviour of men (and definitely not because “strong” is fem-speak for ill-mannered, controlling and selfish)
Why women need to start asking men out … because men have no balls (9 September 2014) In this piece an entitled princess pens an article that reads like a recruitment brochure to the MGTOW lifestyle … and be sure to read the comments that follow it.
And then these two articles written from a men’s perspective:
Most women don’t deserve a good man (15 March 2014)
Sad sluts are sad that no one wants to marry them (29 September 2015)
Leaving aside remnant neanderthals, most men today understand and readily concur with the idea of ‘give and take’ within a relationship. But we do have a problem with partners who take, take, take.
Of course once upon a time married men were accorded a higher social status than unmarried men, and marriage was once the only way decent men experienced a viable sex life. But not now.
Ok, so what tangible benefits does marriage confer on a man today?
A family? Assuming a man can afford a family AND marries a woman young enough to conceive, many resist having children. And at the end of the day, most men are all-too-aware that the prevailing legal system can and does remove a husband’s access to his kids with frightening ease and frequency.
A carer and housekeeper? Well this one is no deal-breaker as most guys are willing to pitch in and do their share. Indeed, am I alone in having encountered more than a few households where the husband does most of the house-work, as well as holding down a full-time job? Indeed many women now not only lack domestic skills (thanks to all those progressive mummies and daddies) but are also unwilling to countenance such tasks (example re: cooking).
Achieving financial security through building family wealth? OK, there are now plenty of households where husband and wife both work and contribute towards shared assets such as a house. All this can be to no avail however should a wife become restless and walk away, often availing herself of the often hugely disproportionate benefits conferred by a gynocentric legal system.
Consider also the many households where a wife chooses not to engage in paid work, does little or no housework, whilst profligately spending her husband’s income … only to then later financially destroy him upon initiating her no-fault divorce. Remember that men still generally take significantly more assets into a marriage than do women. Women are more likely to bring debt to the table – ‘student debt‘ for example. Oh, and remember that most divorces are initiated by women.
A similar proposition, though expressed in a somewhat more strident manner, was elucidated in this Return of Kings article.
This post, ‘The Marriage Strike and MGTOW‘, has attracted more hits that any other page in this blog. And then I learnt that for the first time in Google history, as many people are searching on the term ‘MGTOW’ as are searching on the term ‘patriarchy’:
Refer links to some interesting, challenging (and some face-palm worthy) articles/videos below:
Late 30’s feminist gets dumped repeatedly: “Men are so insecure she claims!” (24 June 2020) Good USA video
U.S. births fall to lowest level in 35 years (20 May 2020)
U.S. marriage rate plunges to lowest level on record (29 April 2020)
Is there a man drought in Australia? An Investigation (17 April 2020) Instead of addressing the actual reasons underpinning male reluctance to attach, feminist journos delight in throwing petrol on the fire with ‘wisdom’ like this:
“The perception of scarcity, frontier mentality and entrenched patriarchy has led to a wild proliferation of garbage behaviours among our menfolk”
Young women at Griffith University (Australia) get tips about what to expect/demand in a special dating guide. (February 2020) Gee, hope they enjoy the company of cats.
He said ‘yes’! Why aren’t more women proposing to their boyfriends? (27 December 2019) “Benevolent sexism” is the magic ingredient that’s apparently holding men back from offering the ring. Of course it had to involve some kind of failing on the part of men. Of course it did. That many people take such a narrow view of the issue continues to astound me.
The weakened signal hits home (10 September 2019) by Dalrock
Why are millenial women cheating more than men? (April 2019)
“Kelly was similarly unrepentant. “Part of me did it as a little bit of misandry,” she says. “Like, I can’t feel all that guilty because I didn’t really trust or respect men deeply enough anyway.””
The sex revolution of my youth wasn’t so great. Maybe today’s celibacy is a sign of progress (7 April 2019) Feminist woman gets it completely wrong again, femsplaining that young men steering away from sex and relationships is all about ‘incels’ resenting independent women. Well, apparently.
54-year-old feminist angry at dating agency for not finding her a rich husband (30 March 2019) Just throwing this article in for a chuckle
Speed dating event cancelled due to lack of men (12 February 2019)
Most Americans consider debt a dating deal-breaker (6 February 2019) Then most Americans are coming to their senses
If we seriously want men to marry and become fathers, let’s repeal no-fault divorce (13 January 2019)
The Sex Recession, by Kate Julian (14 November 2018)
The Breaking Point: Why Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men? (23 July 2018) States that 90% of all divorces are initiated by college-educated women
If we seriously want men to marry and become fathers, let’s repeal no-fault divorce (17 June 2018)
Rise of the bromance is bad for women, could become ‘genuine lifestyle relationship’: study (12 October 2017)
I’ve Gotten Blown Off By Men So Much Lately That I’m Literally Questioning Everything (October 2017) Author displays total absence of understanding that men have been treated this way since forever (well before the advent of dating apps!) Welcome to our world darling. Reader’s comments scathing but accurate.
Why are good men so hard to find? (23 September 2017) Canada. Author concludes that both men and women need to “get their act together”, but in ways she doesn’t clearly spell out.
Pension pot gold diggers: Middle aged women who marry a second time are mainly motivated by money (19 September 2017) UK
‘Cheap sex’ is making men give up on marriage (2 September 2017) USA. Men being immature, men wallowing in porn. Has to be men’s fault. Just has to be.
Explaining “MGTOW”: What this men’s rights trend is all about (16 May 2017) Some good reader’s comments
Step up so they don’t have to (Part 1), by Dalrock (10 May 2017) An interesting Christian perspective on the contemporary male’s choice to avoid marriage. And whilst we consider the Christian perspective, perhaps view this video entitled ‘ Young Women shouldn’t settle’, about what men versus women expect from their marriage partner.
Response to Jordan Peterson’s comments on MGTOW, by Karen Straughan (24 April 2017) Video
I’ll tell you where all the good men have gone (13 April 2017) Good overview of the issue
Older women, the expired lottery tickets – MGTOW (5 April 2017) Video
To fix marriage, we need to fix divorce (31 March 2017)
How couples are easily spending $150k on the modern Aussie dream wedding (17 February 2017)
Denying the feminist rebellion by Dalrock (9 February 2017) Recommended reading.
Most men are not afraid of commitment (19 January 2017)
Divorcees take five years to recover financially (13 December 2016) Interesting how the writer elects to profile a woman in this article … no sympathy for men?
Why Do These Straight Men Want Nothing to Do With Women? (18 October 2016)
The lonely single men of MGTOW (25 June 2016)
Why can’t women find a good man? (21 June 2016)
Women ‘freeze their eggs because they are waiting for Mr Right – rather than putting their career first’. Today’s generation have high standards and want Mr Right over Mr Will Do (17 June 2016) UK, with related Reddit discussion thread here
No, I’m not afraid to be single in my 40s (4 June 2016) I wonder if the author and female readers would view a man writing an article (in which he expressed similar thoughts) in the same light? If yes, then great. I somehow suspect however that there would be comments along the lines of the man being selfish, a man-boy, unable to shoulder responsibility, etc
Millennials’ latest mistake: embracing the ‘starter marriage’ (29 March 2016)
Marriage Is Declining Because Men Are Pigs (24 March 2016) As with the article below, this paper endeavours to falsely paint the marriage strike as indicative of a monumental failure by men.
Single By Choice: Why Fewer American Women Are Married Than Ever Before (4 March 2016) USA, with related Reddit discussion thread here. Female author attempts to present marriage strike trend as something that women want/brought about – men are air-brushed out of the picture entirely.
Young women increasingly anxious about their finances (7 March 2016) Australia. Two things here. Note increasing unhappiness of women despite feminist ‘advances’. Second I wonder how much of that stress is due to the realisation that they are increasingly unlikely to find a Mr. Right (or Mr. Anybody) who will step in and clear their debts and then keep them in the manner … So no Plan B after years of casual mooching of boyfriends & living day to day.
Real housewives of Gen Y: Rise of the millennial homemaker (6 March 2016) Australia. If true then I feel sorry that many will be unsuccessful in realising their choice, thanks in large part to their mothers’ complicity with the feminist movement. Related Reddit discussion thread here.
Women: Where are all the good men? (18 February 2016)
Marriage Debate by Peter Hitchens (10 February 2016) Video
College-Educated Women Can’t Find Good Men – What’s to blame? (3 February 2016)
Young Men Giving up on Marriage: ‘Women Aren’t Women Anymore’ (8 January 2016) USA
Blaming men for the rise of childless women is an insult to both genders (7 January 2016) UK
Marriage proposals are still a guy thing (5 January 2016)
The Mating Crisis Among Educated Women, by David M Buss (January 2016) USA. An article written by a male academic, but from a wholly gynocentric perspective.
Tamara Chabe: Female graduates lose out as feminists kill the dating scene (16 December 2015) Be sure to peruse the readers comments
Minnesota nears slipping below 50 percent married rate (3 December 2015) USA. Why do most of these articles only provide a part of the picture and studiously ignore the rest? For e.g. they all mention that the marriage rate is dipping due to women delaying marriage, but neglect to mention that one reason they do is because many men don’t want to marry them!
Obligational Why Men Don’t Want to Marry Article (23 November 2015)
The Sunday Times Magazine Provides Frank, Humanizing Look at the Men Going Their Own Way (18 November 2015)
Meet the men giving up on women (15 November 2015) UK. This article is behind a paywall but google searching might locate a freebie version
Belinda Brown: Men don’t need to marry to get sex (2 November 2015)
Why are men frightened of marriage? (26 October 2015)
Hooking Up When You’re an Anti-Rape Activist (23 October 2015) Mainly included here because of the reader’s comments. See also related reddit discussion thread here.
It’s Not Your Imagination, Single Women: There Literally Aren’t Enough Men Out There (26 September 2015) USA
These women can’t find enough marriageable men (24 September 2015) and related reddit discussion thread here
“The Economics of Sex: Why are There No Good Men Left?” (9 September 2015)
Where have all the good men gone? (25 August 2015) and related reddit discussion thread
Observations on Relationships in a Grocery Store (22 August 2015)
Feminizing the decline (19 August 2015)
Supreme Court Says That Gays Can Get Married; Women Hardest Hit (27 June 2015)
MGTOWs are losers – really? (26 June 2015)
Men must stop playing by the rules, walk away, and claim their autonomy. The gender contract is null and void. If a new social contract is to be agreed, it must be agreed by free men (18 June 2015)
Men giving up on women (and women who hate them) (13 June 2015)
Fewer Young People Say I Do — to Any Relationship (8 June 2015)
The fascinating connection between how much married people make and how likely they are to cheat (4 June 2015)
Coontz, Cherlin and Putnam Get it Wrong on the Decline of Marriage (1 June 2015)
Rich educated women cannot find husbands and it’s all your fault, by Sargon of Akkad (10 May 2015) Video
Men are to blame for the high divorce rate among America’s poor (4 May 2015) and related reddit mensrights discussion thread
Where are all the smart men? (3 May 2015) New Zealand with related reddit mensrights discussion threads here and here. A separate, and even more ignorant editorial here concludes with “The failure of men to foot it with them educationally in equal numbers is no reason to change the education system or promote men undeservedly. The shortage of partners for highly educated women is a problem only men can solve. Get your credentials, boys.”
Why men won’t marry you (1 May 2015)
Kathy Gyngell: Sexodus anger needs to be channelled before it explodes (27 April 2015)
Don’t give up on marriage? Request denied (23 April 2015)
Men’s rights activist to Fox News: Men need to avoid marriage at all costs (22 April 2015)
Kathy Gyngell: Men should stand up to feminists, not turn their backs on womankind (21 April 2015)
‘Divorce Corp’ 2014 documentary
Why men refuse to marry: Women complain chaps today won’t settle down. Sorry, ladies, but it’s all your fault, argues a wickedly provocative new book… Denigration of Men (20 April 2015)
Yes, Matt Yglesias, The Marriage Decline Is A Problem (2 April 2015)
The other impact that feminism has had on young men and relationships (30 March 2015) Reddit mensrights discussion thread
Inequality and the marriage crisis (26 March 2015)
MGTOW: Know them by their words (25 March 2015) This article by Peter Wright looks at sub-groups within the MGTOW movement
Majority of UK women don’t bathe or take a shower daily (24 February 2015)
Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married (12 February 2015) Author pushes the standard line that men aren’t marrying because they are immature. More than 2,000 readers put her on the right track
This article was a collaboration between Janet Bloomfield (aka JudgyBitch) and her husband on the subject of the modern woman’s one-sided expectations of marriage: Mr Judgy Bitch speaks (30 July 2013)
Okay, MGTOW, I get it now. If this is the option, I’d pass too‘ by Janet Bloomfield (22 April 2014) with a related discussion at reddit/mensrights here and a follow-up post here
Who said love was dead? More than HALF of under-35s getting married consider getting a pre-nup before they tie the knot (14 March 2015)
Women selling/buying positive pregnancy tests (March 2015) Youtube video
Feminist explains why porn ban is necessary: “A recent German study found a clear negative correlation between consumption of Internet pornography and marriage rates among young men!!!” Article and related reddit mensrights discussion thread (2 February 2015)
MGTOW: An impersonal force of history (13 December 2014)
Celebrating divorce by denying its existence (6 December 2014)
The Sexodus, Part 1: The men giving up on women and checking out of society (4 December 2014) with related discussion thread here, and The Sexodus, Part 2: Dishonest Feminist panics leave male sexuality in crisis (9 December 2014)
Can Stay-At-Home Dads Satisfy A Woman’s Need To Marry Up? (16 November 2014)
Is Marriage going Extinct? (19 October 2014)
Man ordered to pay £28,500 to his ex-girlfriend after break-up in landmark court ruling for unmarried couples (17 October 2014)
I left the love of my life because I thought I could do better. Now I’m childless and alone at 42 (9 September 2014) 652 reader’s comments suggest that this article hit a chord with many readers.
‘Why isn’t Carl good enough?’ (28 April 2014)
Don’t date before divorce, judge tells women (22 September 2014)
Record Share of Americans Have Never Married (24 September 2014) Interesting reading from Wendy Wang and Kim Parker at Pew Research
Why more women choose not to marry (15 October 2014) More than 2,000 readers comments, with a related reddit mensrights discussion thread here
The new merry-go-round (4 October 2014)
Has the war against men already been won? (5 October 2014)
Census: Marriage rate at 93 year low – even including same sex couples (18 September 2014)
MGTOW, Women and Sex by John Hembling (17 September 2014)
Man who paid child support for 22 years can’t get a refund (19 August 2014)
Fewer men are working, and marriage is dying (3 October 2014)
Six reasons why men are avoiding marriage by Helen Smith Ph.D (3 July 2013) Youtube video
Mates? Most married men waved our best friends goodbye years ago (13 August 2014)
The Future of Women in a MGTOW Society (12 December 2013) USA
You asked for it ladies, by Hannah Wallen (25 July 2013)
Can most men really afford a girlfriend? (15 April 2013)
Why men are withdrawing from courtship (15 November 2013)
The American dream is every man’s nightmare (24 June 2014)
Feminist gay-bashing (27 June 2013) Is feminist antipathy towards gay men part and parcel of feminist loathing of MGTOW’s?
Young men giving up on marriage: ‘Women aren’t women anymore’ (10 January 2013) Recommended reading
Of marriage and men: stereotypes that ignore half the story, by Bettina Arndt (14 October 2012)
The More Chores A Husband Does, The More Likely The Marriage Will End In Divorce (28 September 2012)
Men not marrying? How deep does “the problem” go? (15 March 2012) USA video
The long, strange quest to find a substance that kills sexual desire (2012)
Why are today’s young men scared of girls who want children? Reddit discussion and linked article
A video called ‘Divorce Corp’ (2014)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXQf2f2Yxo (A video called ‘Six reasons why men are avoiding marriage’)
http://www.unc.edu/courses/2010fall/econ/586/001/Readings/Brinig.pdf (‘These Boots Are Made For Walking’: Why Most Divorce Filers Are Women” American Law And Economics Review 2.1 (2000): 126-169
Some more reading/viewing:
The Marriage Strike Reddit and The MGTOW Reddit (discussion fora)
Redonkulas.com on MGTOW (satirical video) (19 March 2015)
I Wasn’t Treating My Husband Fairly, And It Wasn’t Fair (28 December 2014)
According to Hedonic Theory men have a greater chance of returning to their “hapiness baseline” after a serious spinal injury than they will after marriage (29 October 2014) Reddit discussion thread and linked article
Does your partner have a back-up waiting to take your place? (12 October 2014)
Whatever happened to ‘happy wife, happy life’? (10 July 2014)
78 percent of never-married women are looking for a spouse with a job. Finding one might be tricky (24 September 2014)
Woman steals ex-boyfriends sperm, has twins, sues for child support (23 November 2011)
Dr. Helen Smith on where the good men are, and why they left (19 June 2013)
This article is about “Men going their own way”
Message to men: It’s not you, it’s Mr Right (Australia)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFzEOL2kbZU (Bill Burr on why he won’t get married – comedy video)
Here’s another article entitled “Parasitism and the Marriage Strike”
This article includes a chart showing the decreasing rate of marriage in ten countries.
This UK newspaper article discusses the strong trend towards divorce on the basis of “unreasonable behaviour” by the female spouse.
Another UK newspaper article:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-398998/How-feminism-destroyed-real-men.html
The myth of the lonely old man (12 September 2011)
Finally be sure to take a look at this GREAT ‘Girl Writes What’ video
Elsewhere in this blog you might be interested in reading:
Apparently there’s not enough educated men nowadays
Men and women and their increasingly divergent attitudes to parenthood
We’ve all heard of the gender ‘income gap’, but what about the ‘expense gap’?